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The other day a handyman came to my house whom the landlord hired and didn’t tell me about (it’s a long story but I’m moving out). The guy said he knew me and it turns out I had met him at an AA meeting years ago! It was really nice actually and I told him that I had three and a half years sober. I’m so proud of that whenever I think about it, but I don’t give myself enough credit for it. I stayed sober! Alcohol was poison to me and if I could moderate my drinking I would have figured out how to do that over the many years I tried. I tried so many different ways to moderate and I kept a damn spreadsheet with drink counts, but it was just not possible for me. Abstinence keeps me level-headed, it’s improved my mood, my life, my career and my relationships in every way. So that’s what came to mind when I read this story about Luann de Lesseps, who has been to rehab twice and has been arrested for assaulting and threatening a police officer. Luann was court-ordered not to drink and now that the time is up she thinks she can moderate again. Sure she can.
Luann de Lesseps… tells PEOPLE exclusively that after months of sobriety, she has recently made the decision to allow herself a drink on occasion.
Coming to that conclusion was something that de Lesseps approached slowly and responsibly, she says, after much soul-searching.
“New Year’s has been a time of reflection,” explained de Lesseps, of her choice. “I’ve learned a great deal about myself, and I’m in a very good place and finally back in the drivers seat.”
“I’ve always said my journey is day by day,” the Countess added. “I’m toasting to a happy new year ahead!”
Luann gave these quotes to People and they ran with the headline that she’s drinking responsibly, so I presume they’re not just interpreting her saying “I’m toasting to a happy new year ahead” as her drinking again. Even if she did say that, what would she mean other than “I am drinking again?” From what little I know of her, this sounds like her. She thinks she’s an exception and she can drink again. Some people can after having trouble, but she’s been to rehab twice and this sounds like a disaster in the making. She’s a Real Housewife though, the ones who are unpredictable are the ones who get the best storylines. Luann also has a cabaret show, which has been on the road for two years now.
I don’t think I could hang out with these women sober though.
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My mantra these days is, it starts with a sip. So I don’t have that sip.
I wish LuAnn the best, but I’m guessing down the road after a few more hiccups, she’ll announce that she’s sober and can’t drink.
Good on you lobstah,and @CB always inspiring to hear you talk about your continued sobriety!
This woman I’m afraid will end up in a very serious health/legal crisis,and I’m afraid she’s never going to learn if assaulting an officer while intoxicated didn’t wake her.
I like that mantra, I’m going to keep it in mind. It’s a true statement for me too.
I hope it brings you peace and strength, Gina! It’s saved me a few times.
Congrats, CB on your fabulous 3.5 years. I’ll have 6 at the end of this month. Best decision I’ve ever made. I cannot drink in moderation; it just doesn’t work for me.
She violated her parole by drinking after a cabaret show, she refused an ankle monitor because it would impact her life too much, and she makes it seem like her assault on a police officer was something that happened to her and not something she did.
I don’t think she has a handle on this, and we’re going to see a messy spiral. I think she’s a self absorbed narcissist, but I still feel so bad for people struggling with sobriety.
As someone who has been to treatment 4 times, I agree that this is a recipe for disaster. Alcoholism is a cruel beast, and it made me do things I would never do sober. I lied, cheated, stole from friends and family, was missing work, lost friends, alienated myself, isolated, and the list goes on and on. The only choice for me is to remain completely abstinent from alcohol. I’m lucky I was able to finally repair many of the relationships I destroyed in active addiction. It’s been almost 2 years now and I’ve never felt better. I don’t watch these reality shows, but I always hope that anyone suffering with this terrible disease can find a way to get out of it’s grip.
I’m happy for you Jules, Lobsta, and Celebitchy. I’ve been surrounded by addicted people I love, family and friends, my whole life. It’s hard to see people you love spiral. He had to walk away from loved ones and not engage again until they came back sober years later.
Rehab? Twice? Assault? But now she can drink responsibly. Damaged brain muttering damaged words.
Yeah this is only the beginning of this story I’m afraid.
You don’t need alcohol to be happy, people! Ultimately it only makes things worse. But we don’t see the next morning in your cabaret show.
I could see if she’d been partying a little too much and cut back to a more moderate level, but 2 rounds of rehab and an arrest signals a person who is not in control.
I don’t think there’s such a thing as drinking responsibly after rehab, especially after multiple trips to rehab and seeing her behavior on the show. She doesn’t take her situation seriously and it’s clear she sees no consequence in her actions.
Yes, what I read between the lines is a big FOMO if she’s not out drinking. I don’t think she understands the seriousness of her situation at all.
Oh dear!
It’s incredible to hear someone who has been to rehab more than once and been arrested for assault as a result of their drinking say they can drink responsibly. This person has some unpleasant things they need to admit to themself before moving forward, I think…
When you’re an alcoholic, you literally…CAN NOT DRINK RESPONSIBLY…There maybe exceptions to that rule, but even then…you’re CONSTANTLY flirting with disaster…and she’s built her life where she’s constantly surrounded by triggers…I just don’t see how this will end well…
Denial is strong with alcoholism. Once you cross that line into addiction, there is no going back to drinking responsibly. Going to rehab twice, and being arrested, etc., indicates she has a serious issue. This will not end well, mark my words. I was married to a heroin addict for ten years, and saw him struggle with sobriety for years, pretending he could go back. It never worked. Addiction is a horrible disease and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy!!
There is no amount of alcohol that is responsible to drink within months of being in rehab for alcohol. She’s still in denial.
All my admiration for you guys who are doing the hard work of recovery! I’m currently watching the slow motion destruction of a sibling denying alcohol addiction. I’m doing the reading, and learning so much…primarily on how to effectively not get sucked in to the drama of destruction. My parents are not doing the reading, and mostly reacting to the ups and downs, while sort of enabling him. It’s all very toxic, to say the least. I broached the topic to him, so it’s on the table, making it uncomfortable for him to drink with me. It’s a start. I’m going to start attending some Al-anon meetings too.
Any books you guys can recommend would be welcome. I just got Drinking: A love story… beautifully written and helps someone like me understand some of the patterns better. Sadly, the author died early.
And yes, this lady is in denial.
No such thing as moderation for an alcoholic. They all think they will be the one that can handle it. Please. You are not special and you dont have the magic answer ither people are missing.
My sister has a good friend that is facing divorce and the loss of 2 young boys because she refuses treatment and thinks she can drink in moderation too.
She’s been a full-blown, falling-down hot drunken mess for a long time, and way before “Housewives” (ohhh the things one hears from one’s NY nieces who spent summers earning college money shlepping in the Hamptons…).
Congratulations on your sobriety! You should definitely be proud.
This sounds like something Drew Barrymore would say.
hoping all goes well
Congrats to you for three and a half years sober! It is a sad truth that central to addiction is our capacity to deny the mounting evidence of consequences. While it makes entertaining TV for some I find it just dismal to watch. As you know there is no middle ground while you allow that there are some that can use or drink moderately after rehab in 47 years of recovery never seen it work.