I can’t believe the Duchess of Cambridge has done a podcast more recently than ME! Just FYI: CB and I took a smallish break from the Gossip with Celebitchy podcast because of the craziness of the awards season, plus CB is mid-move, so it’s just been crazy. We did some emergency Sussexit podcasts in January though! Anyway, yes, as part of Kate’s big “five big questions” survey, she agreed to appear on the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast with Giovanna Fletcher. Let’s just take a moment and let this soak in: Kate, who everyone said is terrified of speaking in public, was totally fine with sitting for a lengthy podcast interview. Yes, it’s not the exact same thing. But once again, it feels like so many stories of “why Kate can’t do such-and-such” are just bullsh-t.
So, this podcast thing happened with Kensington Palace’s approval, of course, and the official sanctioned photo from the recording is… what the palace wanted, apparently. And that’s kind of funny too. The podcast was released on Saturday and there are so many quotes from it, I’m splitting it up into two stories. There’s a clip too:
🎧 Listen to The Duchess of Cambridge talking with @MrsGiFletcher about her #5BigQuestions survey, the importance of the early years, and their shared experiences of parenthood.
Have your say in the biggest ever national conversation on the early years 👇https://t.co/MaMnlxy2sJ pic.twitter.com/qO400ijJm1
— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) February 15, 2020
Her voice is perfectly fine here and she obviously can hold her own throughout the length of a podcast, being asked questions and answering them at length and pulling together stories of her own upbringing with stories of her own pregnancies and raising her children, combined with what she’s learned from her (ahem) eight years of on-the-ground work building this five-question survey. So… tell me again why she wasn’t doing this kind of stuff for the past nine years? Put a pin in that. Here are some quotes from her podcast interview (remember, this is only Part I):
Her granny: “I had an amazing Granny who devoted a lot of time to us, playing with us, doing arts and crafts and going to the greenhouse to do gardening, and cooking with us, and I try and incorporate a lot of the experiences that she gave us at the time into the experiences that I give my children now.”
She’s passionate about spending time outside with her kids: “There are also the environments you spend time in as well: a happy home, a safe environment. As children, we spent a lot of time outside and it’s something I’m really passionate about. I think it’s so great for physical and mental wellbeing and laying [developmental] foundations. It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.’ And actually, it’s so simple.”
The importance of listening: “I think ultimately if you look at who’s caring and looking after and nurturing children in the most vital period from pregnancy all the way to the age of five, you know parents and carers are right at the heart of that, and families are right at the heart of that, and although I’ve spoken to the scientists and the service providers, it’s so important to listen to families.”
Whether she has ‘mom guilt’: “Yes, absolutely — and anyone who doesn’t as a mother is actually lying! Yep — all the time. You know, even this morning, coming to the nursery visit here, George and Charlotte were like, ‘Mummy, how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?’ It’s a constant challenge — you hear it time and time again from moms, even moms who aren’t necessarily working and aren’t pulled in the directions of having to juggle work life and family life… And always sort of questioning your own decisions and your own judgements and things like that, and I think that starts from the moment you have a baby!”
[From Harper’s Bazaar & People]
Do you need me to say it? “It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.’ And actually, it’s so simple.” It IS so simple to be a hands-on mother when you have several cooks, kitchen assistants, personal assistants, a stylist, a nanny, a grandmother who drops everything to babysit and no job of your own. I don’t begrudge Kate being a hands-on mother. Like, at all. She loves being a mom, she loves her children, she puts a lot of time and effort into being a mom. But… how hard would it be for Kate to preface so much of what she’s saying with “of course I’m coming from a place of enormous privilege.” Instead, it feels like she’s adding to other mothers’ guilt by saying: you should be doing this and this, like me. Why aren’t you spending more time with your kids, why aren’t YOU spending hours outdoors on YOUR country estate gifted to you by the Queen?
Photos courtesy of Kensington Palace, Avalon Red, Backgrid.
First, I dont really have mom guilt. Sometimes if I yell too much I feel bad, but I dont feel bad about things like working or missing a school party or something. I feel like I am very privileged because I have a very flexible job and I work from home three days a week, so I am able to do a lot of the kid-related stuff, so that probably helps, but I remember when I went back to work after having my boys and people kept saying “omg its going to be so hard you’re going to feel such mom guilt!” And…..I didnt.
All that to say – everyone is different. And I’m not lying about it. I know that some people really do have “mom guilt” and I’m not trying to minimize it, I’m just pointing out that not every person experiences parenthood in the same way.
Second, the part about not worrying about cooking was so tone deaf that it was mind-blowing to me. Like had she said, “sometimes, its nice to take a break from the every day and play outside with your kids for a few hours and then just have a quick sandwich for dinner rather than cook a full meal” or something, I think it would have been a lot better.
I definitely have mom guilt. Even this weekend, my kids are with my parents and my oldest was upset as he was missing the fun (we had company, including his aunts and uncles) and my littlest cried that she missed me and I felt some guilt. Kids, at least mine, are great at making you feel guilty and I think that is what she was saying, that it’s normal to feel like that.
Oh I know people definitely feel guilty, but my point was that I dont, and I’m not lying when I say that. My kids try to guilt me sometimes lol and I’m like, nah. Like I said, everyone is different.
Kids are extremely good at being manipulative to get what they want and they know exactly what tactics work with which people. I’m not trying to say that they’re all sociopaths, but children are extremely self centered and they don’t develop empathy or the ability to think about what other people need/want until they’re in grade school, and even then, it takes awhile to learn those skills.
I’m a nanny and I find it fascinating the way kids act with me vs their parents. Kids who are on a schedule when I’m there, who are putting on their own socks and shoes, who are picking up their own toys, who are sleeping in their own beds, suddenly change completely for their parents. To the point where they’ll sometimes even change their voice and start using a baby voice or whining/crying for things rather than just asking for things in their normal voices. They suddenly “can’t” put on their own socks or shoes or pick up their toys. They suddenly NEED a snack or a treat right now. They get hyperactive and will go from playing nicely to literally running around the house, climbing on things, pushing their siblings, and throwing things. They throw a fit and cry about sleeping in their own bed for mom and dad when that’s where they sleep every time when I’m watching them.
And the same thing happens with my own child, so it’s not like I’m just bragging about being a superior caregiver. My own son can be a complete disaster for me and yet behave really well when he’s at school or with relatives. Because they learn very, very early what works to get what they want from their mothers. So while we’re at the exhausted stage of parenting a baby/toddler, and are just trying to get through the day and keep them alive and happy, or trying to avoid a melt-down tantrum, or haven’t yet set up a strict schedule because we’re still adjusting to been having this baby, they’re internalizing all of that and learning this is how I act with mom, this is what I do with mom.
I don’t have kids, but I think you have a valid point. So many friends with kids have a certain level of guilt for just stepping away for a few hours a week, never mind to a job. I think it’s important to always take time for yourself, and if you can’t do that (but do have a job you enjoy) then go do it.
Nothing wrong with being an excellent parent AND knowing you’re an individual too.
I read the part about “not having to cook” rather as if you are at home with the kids there is always something to do, always something pulling at you but if you go spend time outside with them, then all you do is focus on being with them during that time.
That’s how I took it too, She can be tone deaf but,I think in this regard she’s talking about sort of dropping everything when you are outside with the kids..
OTOH,I could never mentally relax playing at the park,pool,wherever when mine was young bc I was constantly thinking about the laundry,check book,dinner.
I did and still do have significant mom guilt,if I don’t feel guilty then I wander what’s wrong with me,lol ,but I’m happy and know my husband and I have done our best!
I suffer from mom guilt because of my hectic job. I am actively looking for another job which will allow me more time with my son. I think many mums suffer from this.
OF COURSE which is why I said everyone’s experience is different. To say that everyone experiences mom guilt is just not accurate.
Linda, everyone is different. I am the main breadwinner ( my field is much more lucrative than my husbands) and my husband now works part time from home and is more involved in the day to day than I am. I don’t have guilt so much as regret that I am missing certain things. Ultimately what keeps from from obsessing about that is that I am a big girl (and understand that my husband and I made choices) and that my kids also understand that I have to earn a living that involves traveling (occasionally) and long hours (at least a couple of times a week).
Eh, I think she just meant it as everyone second guesses themselves on occasion because kids don’t come with instructions. I know I have hundreds of times over the years.
I was an older mother, with a wonderful older sister who supports me and gives me great advice. I had no in-laws to judge me and my parents were elderly. So I probably felt less mom guilt than some…but even I felt it. My house could be a mess, I hated cooking, some kids’ activities bored me to tears. But I did my best, wasn’t perfect and my kids are now productive adults who know we love them. But that mom guilt is very, very powerful.
But she doesn’t cook she has a chef that cooks all their meals for EVERY member, gormet meals too no sandwiches, so if she’s playing outside with the kids she doesn’t need to worry about getting things done at home, she donesn’t do her own laundry either…or cleaning…or making the bed even…or cleaning the kids rooms…
But even having all that help would make me feel guilty. Maybe she feels guilty having all that help and not doing it herself for her children? Maybe she feels guilty when she needs to travel, and needs a nanny? Maybe she feels bad she isn’t teaching to cleanup and has someone do it? Maybe she feels guilty of someone else do the school runs?
I think there’s value in hearing people speak of their insecurities, and if it’s different than ours, it doesn’t make it phony or fake, it doesn’t mean the world is full of manipulative fakes…. It just means maybe that those who have different lives than is have different perspective, but similar experience, in the same way we too have different perspective and experience from others around us. This is where we can learn in how similar we are, no matter economic status, Royal status, or whatever.
I completely have guilt no matter what I do. If I spend all day in the kitchen preparing fresh meals and sauces or snacks for the coming week, I feel guilty I’m not playing Barbies. If I’m playing Barbies, I feel guilty I’m on my butt and not cleaning the bathroom. If I’m cleaning the bathroom, I feel guilty I’m not spending time doing homework or cleaning or making better food. Guilt for me is ever present, regardless of what I’m doing that may be beneficial or healthy, and I imagine it’s like that for others too, regardless of what they are doing too. I’m working through this, and doing the best I can, and trying to feel confident in my decisions but it’s freaking hard.
Exactly what Wifaaa said. Exactly.
She consistently ignores the immense privilege she has when she makes comments like this. Maybe all parents feel guilt but she pretends that her problems are the same as regular folk which is why she is insincere in most of these types of interviews. Until she explicitly acknowledges this, these statements are just meaningless pap meant to placate the peasants.
@Wifaa It would be good if she ONCE acklowedeged the help, but she doesn’t and never will, you know why, becuaese she knows if she acknowledges the whole truth it will show disparity of royal life compared to the public. If Kate wants to speak openly and honestly about this than she should lay out everything on the table including her immense privilidge, but she won’t because she is fake, she wants us to believe she is not overly priviledged by emitting parts of her story and replacing it with things like “I got to cook” adn taking budget flights and how she keeps her 10year boots clean (like she doesn’t just toss them to the maid/butler and cleaner to clean and store them). We don’t need the married in insanely rich and inherited insanely rich to lecture us how to live.
I’m just gonna say it: Even “Princess Kate” occasionally feels “mom guilt.” If that can help normalize the “average” mother’s “guilt,” or even redefine it as something other than guilt or failure, then I’m all for it. Everyone here seems to expect Kate to be something she’s not. She’s not a SJW, she never has been, and it’s ridiculous to expect her to magically turn into one. What she seems to be is an intellectually incurious quasi-aristo who loves her kids. Why shouldn’t she just speak her truth and hope it helps others, even if they’re less privileged than she is?
Yes I guess it could help other insanely priviledged rich white moms that are her fanbase.
The press are showering all sorts of praise on Kate, for talkong about, hypnobirth, and loving labour. Had this been Meghan who had said this, or did a podcast, the media would have said it’s so hollywood, and Meghan is being self indulgent by talking about herself. Look at how they bashed her for releasing the short harmless clip of The Btitish Vogue. They never once, mentioned the sales record of that particular issue. Meghan hardly gets any compliments from the media for her accomplishments, all they see are faults. It is so baffling why the British Media hates her so much, it does not make any sense. It’s taken the death of Caroline Flack, for people to call out Piers Morgan and the press.
She’s out of touch and out of her depth on this entire Early Childhood issue. You cannot tackle early childhood issues without addressing root causes like poverty or lack of green spaces where poor people live.
It’s 50/50 for me. Her comments about a safe environment and outdoor spaces are so vague – what is she doing to ensure that more kids have access to those things? And she really glosses over poverty as a major factor in early childhood issues.
but I also think this goes to her whole thing about how people from happy and upperclass households/families dont have problems, including mental illness or addictions. And I dont think that helps to remove the stigma around mental illness.
She doesn’t have to do anything………those who want to do (e.g.: Meghan) are vilified for doing, for shining too bright as they overshadow the mediocre ones (e..g: Kate)……..so the British have the royal family they deserve. With the exception of Prince Charles and to a less extent Princess Anne, the rest of the working royals have no impact at all! I am excluding H&M as they are no longer part of that crew.
Becks – what so tone deaf and bizarre about her whole take with that (your second paragraph) is how does she explain her own brother then? He grew up with the same family she did and he has/is suffering from MH issues. Does she not remember this? How does she reconcile this when she’s making these comments? I just really dislike her and feel she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, isn’t making any lasting change (although I guess we’ll see), and participated in/allowed the attacks on Meghan so I have no good feeling left for Kate at all.
BECKS1 – Not sure how she of all people can make that assumption about all being well in middle and upper class families when her own brother has mental health issues.
@Royalwatcher – exactly.
@Carrie – Kate said in one of her few speeches that she is lucky because she had a happy childhood and so doesnt have any mental health issues (thats not verbatim but general idea). Which is a weird thing to say considering James is so open about his struggles with depression.
“And she really glosses over poverty as a major factor in early childhood issues.”
@Becks1 – Poverty is responsible for 80% of early childhood issues and non-early diagnosis of learning disabilities is probably responsible for another 10%.
I appreciate that Cathy is working more but nothing she is doing will make one iota of difference because the issue and solutions regarding early childhood development are political and Keen Katy cannot get political on UK domestic issues.
Agreed. I’m torn on this too. She’s on the right track but seems to still be missing some really important points. It’s not as black and white stay at home parents or money.
Another interesting thing is just how nervous Kate seems during this podcast. I really felt for her.
Kate’s interview seems to be a throwback to 1950s articles about mothers. Today is a whole different situation. Women have careers now and they contribute to the household. Husbands and wives need to save money to make sure their children get a good education and college is not cheap. Kate rarely has to leave those children. She has help and she does not nor never had a full time job even waiting for the proposal. SHe is out of touch. She does not have to worry about contributing to a household or paying bills or anything like that. SHe’s not a full time royal. I think at times she comes off as patronizing and this is one of these times. Imagine if Meghan spoke like this she would be lambasted by the media.
I know what you mean, but women have ALWAYS contributed to the household. I assume you mean financially, but working in the home & caring for children is a major financial contribution to the family. Also, some women, like black women in America, have always worked in large numbers outside the home.
Yes, I am talking about financially. Things have changed so much. ANd two income households have not been a rarity for a very long time. Kate is in an entirely different situation that many women cannot relate to. She’s very privileged, has help, and really is only a part time royal meaning she would have to leave the home only for a few hours per week. Not a full load of work time. Kate also has a lot of help and has several large residences.
All of this. Kate has always seemed like a throwback to me. Not because she’s a SAHM. But because she seems like she buys into the idea that a woman is to be seen and not heard. That her purpose in life is not to fulfill her own dreams and ambition, if she is to have them at all. No, her purpose is to be a helpmeet to a man. And with the way she treated Meghan, it’s like she totally missed the Girlpwrr era of the late 90s . She’s not sisterly at all. Kate really is like something out of the 1950s.
I never cease to be surprised by the women I meet who actively want and seek out that 1950’s kind of life – the SAHM who doesn’t work and relies on her husband to do everything while hiring nannies and cleaning companies to do the child raising/house cleaning while they lunch with their friends and complain about how hard their life it. Women who when faced with having to do something for themselves suddenly become stressed out monsters who are the most stressed out and put upon people on the face of the earth.
If that’s Kate’s aspirations then that’s her choice but not on my money is it something I support. As a UK taxpayer I’m not happy about paying for her endless supply of bespoke fashion, botox, fresh blowouts, large homes etc.. when she gives little to nothing back in return. And that goes for William as well.
Kate is clueless because she choose to be – she is unwilling and unable to understand the world outside her little bubble.
Both my grandmothers were stay at home moms and they worked really hard. They didn’t have nannies and one of them had six kids. They were always busy with cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. One of my grandmothers was particularly good at knitting, crochet, etc and she did volunteer work outside of the home on top of that. So I always bristle at Kate trying to pretend she’s doing the SAHM thing. She’s not. She a rich woman who doesn’t have to do any of the unpaid work that real SAHM do.
Kate can’t relate to most women out there and the one she could, her sister in law, she remained silent while the media unfairly attacked her during her pregnancy. Way to support the sisterhood Kate!
Nic919 I’m sure you didn’t intend for your comment to imply that only SAHM do unpaid work but this is one of my pet peeves so I need to just point out: Working moms also do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Some also volunteer in their communities.
Of course working moms do this as well, my mother certainly did. My point was that Kate does none of this stuff. She doesn’t do what working moms do or what stay at home moms do. She in fact does very little.
I took it more to mean that when you are in the house with the kids it’s easy to be distracted by all the things that need to be done: cleaning, laundry, cooking. When I’m outside or at the park I can be more in the moment with the kids. Of course i would love to come home from the outings to a clean house and dinner prepared! But I’ve learned the laundry will always be there, but time is fleeting. Order a pizza and watch a movie!
This is how I took it too. That it is easy to be distracted by all the stuff we think we should be doing and kids get lost in teh shuffle. And yes, that stuff will always be there and hte laundry can wait until later.
I never understood the comments about “the laundry will always be there…” yes, that’s the point, if me or my husband doesn’t do it, we have no clean clothes. Am I supposed to do it after the kids go to bed when I have to make lunches, take a shower, and spend a few minutes with my husband so I still have a marriage when my kids are out of the house? Like; it has to get done. There isn’t a magical fairy who is going to do it later when the kids are asleep.
@Kat @Smalltowngirl
Except it’s very easy to get over those distractions and guilt when you know the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, etc. Will get done, whether she or her husband do it or not. Not saying she never experiences guilt, but the fact that she doesn’t even acknowledge how privileged she is so ignorant of her, specially if she wants to paint herself as someone who has been studying issues that children and parents all over the UK face.
She doesn’t acknowledge how her family has more acreage of nature available to them right in their backyard and country homes than most people in the UK will ever have access to. Or how the overhyped garden she “designed” is not even free for people to enjoy.
So it’s okay for her to keep being that ignorant and hypocritical, and for us to give her a pass cause she sounded a bit relatable? After a supposed 8 years of working on this initiative She’s supposed to be at least expected to say something insightful beyond her own privileged experience. But time and time again people are more than willing to hold her to the most basic standards and praise her for it.
@Mtec —— she is white, therefore she is allowed to be mediocre!!! She is mediocre and there is no moving goal posts for her……but Meghan is the witch!!!!
Yes, this!
I don’t get this whole “the chores will still be there, it’s okay to put them off” thing either. I work during the week so I’m doing all my chores after 6:30PM or on the weekend. If I don’t do the laundry, my husband won’t have his work uniforms. If I don’t shop, we won’t have groceries. If I don’t make dinner, we won’t have dinner. I can’t come home from work at 6:30 and say “let’s all play outside together for 2 hours and I’ll worry about the chores later” because by the time we got inside it would be bedtime without any supper for the kids. If I don’t do the laundry on the weekend (and laundry for a whole family takes a long time, like all day), then I’d have to wake up really early Monday morning to wash uniforms and school clothes, or stay up really late Sunday night doing it.
I don’t think she understands how very much we all have to do, how little help we have doing it, and how little time we actually get to spend in our own homes because we leave the house at 7:30AM and don’t get home until 6:30PM. I guess the putting the chores off for a couple of hours might work better for stay at home moms? Or stay at home moms who also have a lot of extra help? Or those who actually have very few chores to do on their own?
Not worrying about when the cooking and cleaning will get done is only something people with some degree of privilege can say. Which is why what Kate is saying is so dumb. She has a ton of staff and offers no advice for people who don’t have nannies and cooks to take over the household chores.
Thank you Amy Too, for eloquently saying what I could not.
That sounds like a lot of work Amy. Maybe you should also ask your husband to chip in.
You have been boxed into the ‘womanly’ role of doing all the housework and that doesn’t sound right.
@Amytoo – EXACTLY. I said above that I dont really have “mom guilt” and I dont. If my kids ask to play with me and I’m cooking dinner, I say I cant play right now. If I stop what I’m doing and go outside with them for an hour, then dinner is that much later, the kids go to bed that much later, etc. So I just dont feel guilty about saying no. I do spend lots of time with my kids and we do lots of stuff together, but I work full time and my husband works full time and we dont have the time during the week to just…..not do chores. And frankly, I think its good for my kids to see my husband and I doing things around the house, and for them to help us, and to learn how to prioritize chores/duties/responsibilities over free time/play/fun. Theres some of both mixed in every day .
I think I understand her general point, which was probably that being outside with your kids is good because there are fewer distractions, its fun to see kids discover the outdoors, etc. But I think she worded it very poorly in such a way that it just screams “I’m a privileged pampered woman who doesnt have to worry about basic things like dinner bc someone else will do it.”
Coffee, I didn’t write about the things my husband does, I was just focusing on myself as a foil for Kate specifically, but my husband does help a lot. He does the morning school run because I have to go to work earlier than he does, he does all of the dishes while I’m in charge of the laundry and the cooking, and we both do things like vacuuming and cleaning the house. I do the big once a week grocery shopping but he will stop by the store on the way home from work to pick up things during the week, and he does the things we need from the pharmacy. He does all our sewing. I do the gardening. He does the lawn and fixing cars. He’s also working full time plus going to school.
That’s privilege too though. Not everyone can order $40 worth of pizza and sit down to a movie. It sounds simple enough, but your criticism proves a point here, especially about guilt.
In order to have a weekly pizza night, I need to spend 2 hours on dough and toppings, but feel guilty it’s not playing and placing an order. If I placed an order, I could see myself feeling guilty I didn’t hand make the dough.
Guilt can always be possible, and many moms wonder how they could possibly more than they are.
I didn’t take any of this as preachy or tone deaf. We all understand her position in life and I don’t think people need to constantly apologize for themselves, whatever their lives may be, in order to get a message out. But it’s nice to know many people have the “mom guilt” syndrome, which I think comes down to there being no set plan to follow for mothering where you can compare what you are doing a check things off a list, so to speak.
Any time I’m at home, I feel like I need to be cleaning up the house, but then I feel like I should be playing with my toddler. But then if I’m playing with him, I think well maybe I should be doing something more educational and showing him latin flashcards or something, lol.
It is probably anxiety to some degree which then ties in with mental health…ugh.
If we all understand how privileged she is and how she’s only speaking to her own experience as a princess with lots of help, then how is she a good person to talk about this? How is her advice going to be helpful? How is she going to be able to relate to normal people? If this really is just a fun interview about what Kate’s life as a mom is like, then whatever, but I thought she was supposedly trying to help the families of Great Britain? I thought this was all part of her “how to raise healthy and happy kids in the early years” initiative.
People are going to stretch real hard to pretend that Kate’s comments can actually help anyone. This is a make work exercise to make Kate look useful, but she betrays herself with her own words.
Well, I’m a “normal” person, albeit an American, and I relate to her experience quite a lot. I think it boils down to if you like Kate you can listen to this and appreciate it and relate, if you hate Kate then you probably would not listen to the podcast in the first place…..??
@grumpyterrier ———- there are some here who live a life where they don’t have to worry about cooking/cleaning/laundry/anything around the house………
I am still not going to listen to the podcast because this woman has never said anything that’s worth listening to or even repeating assuming she is even understandable!
If you want to listen because you are a fan of hers, go for it! I don’t know why you care that others won’t. My stance is this woman willingly participated in the FlyBe stunt with her husband so there is nothing that she could say on this topic that wouldn’t make her look like an idiot; she has never accomplished anything except having those kids; guess that’s why that’s the only thing she can talk about
You could make the case that any advice or experiences related by anyone royal or rich, isn’t really going to help most people. But that includes Harry & Meghan also.
I have never thought the royals were going to make a big difference in the world.
The privilege jumped out: “It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.’ And actually, it’s so simple.”
For most mothers, cooking is not a distraction. If they don’t cook, no one eats. They don’t work, no one has a roof over their head or clothes on their back. I would’ve omitted this altogether.
Absolutely@Becks1. Not sure but, it seems Kate Middleton doesn’t realize that some of the things she’s generalizing are not actually generalizable if that makes any sense. Cultural norms play important roles in people’s child birthing and child bearing experiences. A BRF member’s experience is not necessarily identical to a peasant farmer’s experience and not necessarily an African woman’s experience and in saying that, none are lying when they say we have different emotions and feelings about this and that.
That’s all I got to say about this podcast as the rest is do tone deaf.
Goodness me, this was so cringy!🙈
The shallow self absorbed part were she says
“It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.’ And actually, it’s so simple.”
Was the most nauseating to read! She was basically shaming other mothers (who unlike her dont have chef,babysitter,housekeeper…)🤦♀️. It takes a real disconnect with reality and being completely out of touch with normal life to be this daft. I almost found myself pitying her as this was so obviously rehearsed & edited to hide away the more obvious mishaps.
It was infuriating to hear her say how mental health is important for mothers knowing how she was silent during the smearing of Meghan
“It was infuriating to hear her say how mental health is important for mothers knowing how she was silent during the smearing of Meghan.” Precisely.
I think that is twisting what was meant. It seemed more like she was saying that she is in a privileged position to have that experience. I agree that she should have gone into more detail though because it’s a very valid point.
I thought it was very VERY interesting, and am digesting it. I don’t share the same point of view as most on this site: I believe she wasn’t “allowed” to be out front doing these sort of things for the majority of her marriage. If she wanted to or not. I think the same thing happened to MM and she bounced because of it. The palace dictates who gets to do what and when. When they got married, Prince Charles was doing the Camilla rehab, PW asked for time to “settle in” (which I still 🙄🙄🙄) and Charles didn’t want them in the spotlight. That was my point of view then and it still stands.
I’m about to be a first time mom, and frankly I found this kind of helpful and interesting. I felt really bad for her when she had to pose outside the hospital with all three infants immediately after birth, but especially with George. It was comforting to hear her say how terrifying it was for her. It was nice to hear directly from KM, IMO
Good luck with your 1st!
Cosign all of this. Kate (and Meghan) is constantly being blamed for things outside of her control.
I totally agree with @catherine. I think both William and Kate were not allowed to outshine the more senior royals. It would create tensions and unnecessary envy. I think of all people William probably knows best his family hence he decided to be part-time royal with HM’s blessing.
I just don’t believe it was Charles who was the cause of their light work numbers. Kate had no experience of having to support herself, the goal was to get that ring. SHe waited about 8 years through a big breakup and some cooling off periods. There were numerous excuses made for Kate and William also for that matter. The children were not even born yet and she still had low numbers. I recall that there were numerous excuses and even the Queen was “credited” with their low work numbers. William supposedly was moving up to full time duties and the Queen refurbished KP apartments for th e couple then all of a sudden he wanted to wait and be an air ambulance pilot where he reportedly missed shifts. The two don’t have a great work ethic. I don’t buy into all the excuses made for them like they were not “allowed” to work. By nature the two don’t like work much. It seems to me that William called the shots and the QUeen just went along with it, not necessarily a “blessing.”
So (aside from not working with the royal rota) why was it a problem when the Sussexes wanted to continue with royal duties but also live in Canada& work? Presumably they would have been part time royals with professional responsibilities like William working as a co pilot and doing royal duties as required. See also Prince Michael with his own consultancy business& representing the Queen especially in the commonwealth.
They did not even do part time work levels early on. Very low numbers. I well remember all the excuses made for them. I doubt they were not “allowed to work.”
BP clearly stated early on, and especially when the work shy comments came up in 2016 that Kate and William and the ones deciding their own schedules. Their laziness is on them and the whole not outshining others is bs.
W&K cannot outshine a mop. The only attention they get to their work is because they show up so rarely, seeing them ‘working’ is an event. If they showed up regularly, they wouldn’t outshine anyone.
Catherine – and yet she did not say a word. There was no statement of support when the press crucified Meghan for not doing the hospital step thing.
That’s absolutely not true about the low numbers. The palace confirmed on multiple occasions that each royal sets their own schedule. So the only people stopping William and Kate from doing more work have always only been William and Kate. They are lazy and have always been so.
Right, and, Sophie and Edward always outwork Kate and William, so why arent they being told to work less? Anne works harder than anyone (most years, Charles edged her out for 2019) and she is pretty far down the line of succession these days. Yes, she’s the daughter of the queen, but you would think if any royal was being told to work less and let the heir shine, it would be people like Anne and Edward, not William and Kate.
They all set their own schedules. Very early on, when people were questioning her incredible slow start? One of the RRs quoted the staff directly that Kate was setting her own pace and was happy with it. This is a woman who complained about working 120 hours A YEAR during the Jubilee year, saying it was too hectic for her. That was before kids BTW.
Kate is lazy, always has been. She tried to blame the Palace for this back it the dating years, and the Palace issued a rare statement that they have nothing to do with a private citizen’s employment or lackthereof.
She’s lazy, William is lazy, they enable each other. Pathetic people are still defend them.
I guess I’d want to know why Kate is the one and only person in the family who they’ve decided isn’t allowed to work, then? All of the other non-senior royals aren’t told they’re not allowed to work. Is the idea that Kate is just so special that if she worked, she would outshine everyone, but Anne, Edward, Sophie, Andrew, Prince and Princess Michael, etc, etc, aren’t shiny and special so they can work all they want because no one will care enough to pay attention to them?
And if that’s truly the case, if the family, or even just William, are suggesting that Kate shouldn’t work so much (even though we’ve been told they all set their own schedules), and she’s agreeing to that, how does that make her an admirable figure? She doesn’t push back at all on that and say “no, I think I’d like to work.” What would they do? Excommunicate her from the family? If she’s someone who is completely happy with accepting a lot of money from the people without giving anything back how is that defensible?
If she’s not meant to be seen in public a lot, so as not to pull focus from the other royals, couldn’t she work hard behind the scenes to get a project together, and then make a couple of appearances once the project is ready to drop? That’s what Meghan did. She didn’t have huge engagement numbers and wasn’t out there doing all kinds of publicized small events, but she was visiting her charities behind the scenes and working hard to create things like the cookbook, smart works collection, and vogue issue. She would then do a couple of appearances once the project was done. So she did tangible work with measurable positive impact, but wasn’t out there 24/7 “overshadowing” other royals.
You are assuming that the excuses are anything more than just lies to cover up the laziness. We are close to a decade of little to no work from both William and Kate. They are going to continue doing as little as possible because they are able to get away with it.
From some videos and other sources I tend to agree with your theory about being allowed, as to, what to do how to behave and such. Good call.
Because the courtiers instructed her to flash dozens of times on the job and use manic expressions at most engagements? LOL
So how come when Harry and Meghan wanted to be part time but that wasn’t allowed and they had to leave altogether but we pretend that Kate and William were allowed to be part time for years prior to that. The whole part time nonsense falls apart when we see what happened to the Sussexes.
Does she really think that we don’t stoll offf to the forest with your children because it simply never occurred to us? I live downtown in a major city with huge urban sprawl. It would taken two hours to drive to any green space, and two hours to drive home, with everyone carsick and miserable, and then nothing to eat and the house still messy.
It’s so simple though. Just take the helicopter from your walled gardens to a nearby green space hundreds of kilometres away. Easy peasy!
I’m imagining her spending like five years strolling around her HUGE palace, never really exploring all the way to the doors or windows because the palace is just so huge. All the while she’s thinking “I wish there was a place we could play that was in the fresh air, where I could feel the sunshine and the kids could see dirt.” Eventually, in year six she discovers a door and outside that door are acres and acres of lawn and manicured gardens with ponds and flowers and huge trees to climb in. And she does this 🤦🏻♀️ and goes “oh! It was so easy this whole time! I just needed to walk out the door!” Because that’s what she sounds like. “It’s so easy!” to spend hours outside. For her. Even if we discount the fact that most of us can’t just put off our chores to spend hours outside, most of us don’t actually have an “outside” to go to. We don’t have big yards; we might not have any yard; we don’t live near a big park, or the park we live by isn’t safe because it’s full of trash, really rickety play equipment, or needles; the closest school playground might be 10 miles away and is being used by the school children.
Like all of Kate’s initiatives her Early Childhood push is vast and vague enough for her to milk for publicity for eternity without ever showing concrete results.
All of Kate’s out of touch babbling makes me appreciate Meghan’s grenfell cookbook and Smartworks collection even more.
Bazinga!!!!!!!!!! no impact, just talk and talk and talk………..Meghan didn’t design a survey that took her 9 years to put together and where she basically asked people if they wanted to EAT!
Yes, yes it does make me appreciate Meghan and Harry all the more for their impactful work.
If Kate has spent all this time reading and learning like she says she has her efforts so far indicate.she isn’t very intelligent. Her inarticulate ramblings make very little sense, are superficial and very tone deaf. If this is a case of Kate not doing her homework then she will make a fool of herself more than she has already.
I could never understand why they pretended that she had been working on this for eight years. It would have to be an elaborate project to justify that length of time. It’s obvious this was a slap dash last minute survey. Kate is spouting puffery that could be pulled from a quick google search on “healthy childhood”.
Someone on here pointed out that she could have had a masters in the subject in seven years. What has she been doing?
Kate’s comments come from a place where she’s doesn’t know how normal people live, even when she was at Uni her mother was there running her life for her and THAT’s why her comments seem out of touch (at one event she commented that she’s lucky to have a husband who looks after her – she went from being looked after by her family to being looked after by her husband). Plus she’s also coming from the privileged middle class place where trophy wives don’t work and have hired help – those people will resonate with this. Ordinary people not so much as they have to just get on with it to put food on the table, pay the bills etc..
I do get what she is trying to say and adding stories from her own life to relate to the subject she’s talking about but it was quite fluffy – there was no reference to research, the struggles of people who didn’t have her upbringing. Little things like that that would have resonated with a wider group of people.
In terms of her public speaking, this is def a marked improvement on what we’ve heard from her before. Maybe she was more comfortable in that 121 environment – at least she’s dropped the uber fake posh accent.
I think she did well and not going to split hairs about it. I could totally rock a podcast, recording privately about a topic I like to speak about. I would bomb a public speaking event, however. Obviously, the change is because the BRF has finally recognized they need to make lots of PR changes, it seems.
Same. I can do a one on one interview, I can record myself. But speak in front of a group and I suddenly lose all words. I think there is also the element of “well they can always edit this” with a podcast which there isn’t with live speaking.
What a crock of shit.
Yep.
Kate is completely tone deaf and not a deep thinker at all.
Does she not realize the grandmother she wants to emulate was there so much was because her mother was working and wasn’t able to do all the things granny was doing with the kids?
Not everyone has a grandmother around to help the family, but Kate can say it’s simple to go outside and ignore other things that need to be done, like cooking or an actual job. Yeah, easy for her with a full staff.
I agree with her on nature being transformative. I’m in a tiny apartment with no nature to speak of really but we step onto the patio to blow bubbles and everything gets transformed. My three year old quits
her tantrum, my one year old gets calm. We watch a bird fly and its all Simple as hell but powerful. I feel like this is why and how some adults get into smoking. Actually they just want the peace of stepping out, seeing the sky, transforming a moment. I think i used to like that when I smoked.
I also agree about the mom guilt. It’s pretty unavoidable. Maybe not every mom but I think it’s pretty close.
I’m spending 5 days next week away from my kids and family and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt. Do you know why? Because they have a dad who needs to understand what I do for everyone. I take on everything when it comes to our kids, and for 5 days he can understand what is important. I also believe that I am entitled to have my own alone time, to recharge. I love being a wife and a mother. That was my choice to make and I did so happily. I have a husband who has always encouraged me to find my own personal fulfilment and has equally been a hands on dad. So next week I’m going to enjoy a little me time, without any guilt and hopefully when I come back the house won’t be burned down.
Good for you Aims! Hope you enjoy your break!!
That’s great you get some time to yourself! Enjoy! When I was a child, my dad was a plumber and had to work away from home a lot, so of course it all fell on my mom. There was just me, but she still carried the burden. However, she had this group of crazy women friends who would take weekend trips or mini-vacations at times, and my dad was completely fine with it. We had some odd meals at times, but it was important for us to have time together, just the two of us. He was ahead of his time in recognizing her need for time to herself.
When I was around 10, my mom had a miscarriage and was hospitalized for several days. The first lunch he packed for me was so not healthy – pb&j, potato chips, a big slab of chocolate cake – but it was the best packed lunch ever! Within a couple of days he had things under control, and eventually became the major cook, which was good, because my mom became invalided in her early 50s. This was all back in the 60s, when women did the house care and child care, but he took it on like a champ when it was necessary.
It doesn’t hurt for men to be taught that they need to step up and be the “mom,” especially when both parents work. If William isn’t doing his share of parenting, then shame on him. They have help for everything, and not being as involved in his children’s lives as he could be is unacceptable. Non-royal parents manage that every day of the week, and he and Kate are showing their privilege with these throw-away comments that they don’t think matter, but in reality, they show how out of touch they really are.
Carole Middleton has made sideways digs at working mothers over the years when she has given interviews about how she started her Party Pieces business. She’s basically said that she created an at-home business so she could still be a good mother to her children. The clear implication being that jobs where a mother has to leave the house regularly equal not a good mother in the eyes of Ms Carole.
And we all know how enmeshed Kate is with Carole, so that’s what I thought of when I read about how Kate feels guilty that she can’t take her kids to school sometimes because of events.
It was almost as though she puts herself in the working mom category.
One big thing that sticks out for me is that when it comes to the kids and raising them she doesn’t mention William.
Hmm I guess he’s too busy Dad dancing and trimming Rose bushes.
Yes, no mention of Dad “guilt” leaving the kids.
Yes, and she also said/joked that William wasn’t much help or comfort when she was delivering George. Between these comments and Will’s remarks about how difficult it is for him to see the kids, how much time do these two really spend together as a family? They probably do lead separate lives most of the time.
Will also left on a weekend hunting trip leaving Kate and the children. In the hunting part was his ex Jecca.
The pap shots of William hunting with Jecca were the same weekend Kate and the Middletons took George to Mustique. It was before the other two kids arrived. As Kate didn’t protest the photos of her and George at the airport? You know they were taken and published with approval.
THere was at least another hunting party later on. One of the hunting parties involved Harry going along with them. I recall one party was taking place on someone’s estate where animals could be hunted. Supposedly William was doing air ambulance work that day but actually went to the hunting party.
That is the same one, with Harry, on the Spanish estate of some English lord. William went hunting with Jecca instead of to Mustique with the Midds. Kate allowed those photos of her and George at the airport to be published. In return for twisting Billy’s arm publicly, she got the 10 day kid-free vacation with him in Maldives.
I guess we see why Kate has been silent for years. She really doesn’t have the ability to say anything of substance, especially on a topic like this, and when she tries to bring in personal elements, we see how she has lived a privileged existence from a very early age and just doesn’t understand the reality of parenting at all for basically everyone else. How can she help early childhood if she doesn’t even understand the issues? She won’t and this will just be used for PR because “she’s trying”.
Also the fact she goes on about how important it is for pregnant women to have positive mental health and yet she remained silent for her sister in law just shows how much she is just doing this to look like she’s doing something. How many people would just let their sister in law be treated like that if they have the power to stop it. Kate chose to remain silent and should be forever condemned for her role in doing nothing.
Kate did not lift a finger to deny the rumors that “Meghan made her cry.” If it is true, Kate comes across as a trouble maker and a diva. If it is not true, Kate should have denied the rumors. The two of them going on joint appearances would have helped deny the rumors.
My boys are 23 and 28 and there are still times I have mommy guilt. If I had done this or that differently, maybe they wouldn’t have faced a particular road block, or handled a relationship differently etc. I don’t think she’s saying we are all wracked with guilt every time they are ought of sight, she’s saying kids don’t come with owners manuals.
I checked out their Twitter page to see the reaction to this tweet but there is absolutely no engagement. Is this because no one cares or because they are able to essentially block everything (or am I missing something about how Twitter works )?
And there’s the ‘Strategically Placed Black Child’ again. This woman is shameless.
Omg you’re right! I thought you meant the repeat photo at the bottom but you mean the family on the poster behind her in the first shot!
@Sass, I think they’re using photos now because the last little Black girl they tried to exploit had clearly heard ALL about Keen Katie and gave her the much-deserved side-eye. And the actors of colour at the BAFTA awards weren’t exactly tripping over themselves to get next to the Cambridges. Word’s out.
You’re looking for confirmation bias and you found it. Did you happen to hear those cameras in one of the videos? It’s insane! She’s not dictating what photos they publish – she’s surrounded by people. She also doesn’t choose the published photos for the articles.
Something I believe you are missing here is by stating such comments you’re negating that children of color don’t exist unless Kate pushes them forward for gain. These children absolutely DO exist without the sinister spin you’ve decided to push as “gossip”.
Kate’s blantant use of minority children for PR has increased in the last year. Easy to track if you take off your blinders and see it.
@Curious2, nice try.
Take a look at photos of Keen Katie doing her ‘job’ among the children of Britain and you will notice that there is ALWAYS a Black/Brown child somewhere in the camera frame. It’s gone into hyper-drive now that the Black child that was closest to her was driven out of the country along with his parents. Interestingly enough, there are NO pictures of Keen Katie and Archie which is strange since Keenie claims to LOOOOOOOOOOVE babies.
Keen Katie and Normal Bill are eager to give the APPEARANCE of diversity even though their social circle and their staff is Whiter than Donald Trump’s White House.
I take GREAT offense at the sight of children of colour being used to prop this creature who has been complicit in one of the most racist campaigns of abuse in recent history.
Curious you haven’t been paying attention. And thanks for your incorrect assumption about us thinking POC are invisible. Are you sure you’re curious? Because usually curious people are actually intelligent.
Come on. The UK is extremely diverse and there are many people from all cultures and ethnicities there. Claiming this girl is some sort of token black kid is horrible.
@Nicole, it IS horrible. But the worst racists on earth ALWAYS like to be photographed with people of colour. They think it will fool people. And it pleases their fans. See: Trump, Donald
Yeah, I’m not sure where this idea that these children are “token” children or being used as props comes from. Given the cities these pictures have been taken in they are exactly the children you would expect to see and certainly not in the minority in Birmingham or south London
@Rosay, I know the demographics of British cities. But I wonder if the parents of the children that Keen Katie turns her hyena grin on believe that their Black/Brown children will have ANY place in Normal Bill and Keen Katie’s England. Because their participation in the ugly racist campaign to get rid of Harry, Meghan and their son, shows what they REALLY feel about people of colour. They can take as many photographs as they want but the truth is that Normal Bill and Keen Katie’s lives both personally and professionally don’t include people of colour.
I think I /get/ what she’s trying to get at. She’s saying it’s important to spend time with your kids and sometimes it’s okay to leave a task you’re currently doing in order to spend time with them.
But… that’s all obvious isn’t it? Like it’s a very much “well duh!” idea. And while a lot of parenting issues are universal like hoping your kid turns out to be a good person and whether or not you’re a good role model or not some aren’t. Like Kate doesn’t have to worry about putting food on the table, whether or not she can afford groceries, paying the rent, whether or not she’ll make into to work on time, when she’ll have time to do laundry and general money issues other people in a different socio-economic class face.
PS: Stop this whole bullshit on “their still part time royals!1!1!!1”. The Sussex stuff has shown it’s not feasible to be a “part time royal”. You’re either in or you’re out.
They’re just two lazy full time royals
I feel like that’s something Kate does a lot. She announces, with great fanfare, that she’s “discovered” a problem or a solution to a problem that has actually been known about for decades. Like “a parents mental health might affect their parenting.” “It’s good for kids to play outside.” “Parenting is hard.” “Kids develop a lot during the first five years.” And the latest “since you can’t do two things at once, maybe just do one of those things now (go outside) and the other later (laundry).”
She never goes very deep into anything, she never has solutions besides very vague ones, she’s always just “raising awareness” about stuff that everyone already knows about.
It’s very #PippaTips is it not? Lol. Must run the family.
I listened to it – I was actually surprised how natural she sounded. Usually, she can be very stiff with that put-on accent, but this format really suited her. She sounded very relaxed. Maybe because the topic is one she is comfortable with.
She’s reminding me of Gwyneth Paltrow in the tone-deaf department. She should stop telling everyone that taking kids outside is good as if it’s a big revelation that no one thought of before because it makes her look like a simpleton. And yes, I’m sure she felt good to see Charlotte look at a flower but I feel the same way when my dog sniffs a flower. Kate lives in la-la land.
Does she really think saying that families, parents and guardian are important in raising children is revolutionary!?? That took her 8 years and a bullshit survey to figure out!?
Oh wow yes Kate being outside is nature is good for everyone, but what about kids who literally can’t go outside and enjoy a park because it’s riddled with used needles, garbage, broken equipment, and general unsafe conditions? How about kids who grow up with the reality that going outside could mean getting shot, or arrested, or beat up?
How about mothers and fathers who have to work multiple jobs a day or week and don’t have time to spend with their kids at their leisure like someone with a whole staff of trained cooks and child carers like Kate can?
Is she really that f*cking oblivious to her own privilege and bullshit talking points? Give me a freaking break.
She has lived a sheltered life and has shown no interest to ever expand her horizons. She never will and she doesn’t need to because there are always sycophants ready to praise her every move.
I think it comes off tone deaf because her experience is so far away from what we experience. We dont have maids, cooks etc. But I dont think that makes it any less genuine, that IS her experience.
I experience tremendous mom guilt. I’m trying to get little man away from bed sharing after 3 years to prepare for our new arrival and it’s eating me that he might feel abandoned or less loved when little man #2 arrives. I think mom guilt or even just parent guilt, comes in different forms in all walks of life.
Man there is a lot of problematic shirt in this interview.
I will say that I resonate with her having a wonderful grandmother. I did, too. Really helped balance out my relationship with my neurotic mom who tried living vicariously through me. I wonder if that’s why she mentioned Granny and not Carole…
Everything she said is being misinterpreted here. And I get it. She isn’t Meghan. She isn’t a natural at this. She’s not even particularly good at it. But what’s she’s saying is that yes, it is that simple: So what the hell are we doing as a society – supposedly one of the best in the world – that makes it THIS HARD for children to have a good life? If those are the needs parents have while raising children, why the hell are we still making it SO DIFFICULT for them to just focus on their children? Even she, literally the most privileged person in the country – with all the nannies and cooks and drivers and money and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of that – still finds it challenging to raise children in the UK.
I don’t know why people go off on her for saying that, like she’s some piece of crap who sucks at everything, instead of realizing “Damn, okay, yeah, she’s not that great, but even with all the privileges it’s still hard. She’s still struggling with raising children in this country.” The point is that the UK is not really the best place to raise a kid, and what can we do to fix that?
Is this survey simple? YES! YES IT IS! Because it is meant to include people who are pro-Brexit, who are not educated (and by that I mean mothers who had the minimum passable attendance, or who did not finish school, or who weren’t born in the UK and thus maybe didn’t even have access to basic education to begin with), who think women are supposed to be at home, who think that addiction is the fault of the user, who think that people like Trump and BJ are the natural leaders of the world. It’s supposed to be inviting and engaging to those who are not well-educated, who are not feminists, who are not progressive. It is supposed to point out that “wow, hell, it’s really that simple and we are not even capable of providing this MOST BASIC standard to the people in this country.”
@Bwayney
I don’t think anything she’s said here has been misinterpreted. I think what people are hearing very clearly is the fact that everything she says is obvious and not meaningful, specially not after almost a decade of supposedly studying these issues. In fact, the things you said in your comment have been way more detailed and more insightful than anything she’s ever said regarding her own “initiative.”
Also the points you made about the survey would almost be valid if the survey had just been open to people in the UK, cause she mentioned several times it was meant to get information on those topics that are affecting the UK alone. The fact that it was launched with access for anyone all over the world to take and mess with, just goes to show how careless she is with her own work and how uninterested she’s with getting accurate results. To me it only went to show how she cares more about creating a public perception of showing she’s doing something over actually working towards doing something effective.
Also if your point is that all of these issues are that obvious and that simple, I just gotta point out that NOTHING Kate and her “initiative” so far have said or contributed have been effective in tackling any of these things you say she views as so “simple” either. She’s had nothing concrete to offer except say kids benefit from nature and having people to raise them—that’s literally all she’s ever said. So pardon me if i’m not willing overlook just how stupendously ineffective her “efforts” have been so far.
majority of the people in the UK are educated. Plus the woman who is mother comes from the age between 20 and 40, all European country have a good education and do you know without proper education, getting into any west country is difficult especially uk and usa. I live in Asia and my experience is hard to get into uk without education from the university. What you are saying is tone-deaf, maybe a few 1000 people might not be educated.
I 💖 you BWayney!!!! Great perspective
Yes I agree with you that Kate is basic and that she is spouting things any simpleton could say about childhood and parenting. It’s too bad then that the PR surrounding this survey is that it is the most important and original and ground breaking things ever created and that it took eight whole years to come up with it.
Maybe if the media and KP stopped pretending that any of this was important and life changing then the proper perspective would be applied to Kate’s comments.
Ignoring all that, her own words show she has no idea what the non royal peasants have to deal with on a daily basis to survive and raise their kids. She lives in a bubble and telling parents that it’s so simple to just go outside and forget about cooking and chores shows how ignorant she is and completely out of touch with the real world. And she needs to be called on her privilege every day when she makes dumb comments like this because she’s not helping anyone.
Shes so out if touch. My fave part was when she talked about how a pregnant woman health effects her baby. The fact that she said NOTHING when pregnant Meghan was ripped to shreds in the press and she benefited from it says lot. Kate is just as rotten as her ugly husband.
I don’t understand why what she talks about has to be about Meghan. She spoke about her pregnancy and experience in that clip- it’s not appropriateto put words in Meghan’s mouth. Meghan spoke for herself and we all can take it or leave it- just as we’ll do with Kate’s shared experience.
I don’t agree that this podcast should’ve been about “setting the world straight about Meghan”. Her focus is to shine light on raising children by providing our attention to their nurturing. Society does need to rethink parenting.
She also talks about how important the mental health is of a pregnant woman and how it affects the baby. If she is such an advocate for the health and well being of pregnant women why did she say nothing when a heavily pregnant Meghan was torn apart in the media. She sat back and said nothing all the while soaked in the positive press for herself. Kate is nothing but a hypocrite.
what people trying to say is that she is working for the charity about mental health and childhood. Charity begins at home where Meghan was abused by the press and stressed. where her concerns about Meghan mental health and childhood of archie?
Well said, aria.
No. Kate is supposedly speaking for women who are mothers. Using a platform to discuss the importance of women and their mental health during pregnancy. This what she is touting as her big job moment. How can someone speak for pregnant mothers and their mental health when someone in her own family was bullied beyond belief during pregnancy. Then archie at two days old was compared to a chimp, then archie who was a few months at the time was called a spoiled brat. All this bs is happening to a woman and her child and Kate supposed to be the great speaker on early childhood?
Please 🙄
The hypocrisy on that point is so obvious that we have the trolls coming here to try to defend the indefensible. You have to be pretty callous to see your sister in law being attacked by the media during her pregnancy and having had three kids of your own in a similarly public way, and yet say absolutely nothing about any of the attacks, especially the ones that implicate you. Kate chose to remain silent and her silence is now criticized because it shows her for the hypocrite that she is.
Exactly! It’s indefensible.
Kate is dim, there’s no getting around that. This interview is a mishmash of empty language punctuated by Kate sharing her privileged experience. She doesn’t care how horribly Meghan was treated, she participated in it. But she’s no dim she doesn’t understand how she is complicit.
Right, sometimes it seems as if Kate is breathless and can’t get her words out completely. Perhaps that is partly due to her shyness about speaking in public. While she has definitely improved and she projects her voice a tad more strongly, she is still a bit clipped and forced in her enunciation. And there’s a light, breathless quality to her voice, which some people have, which can make it difficult to hear them.
Of course, Kate is miked and we can hear her in the podcast. Doing this interview in audio podcast format likely helped her feel more comfortable. It was a bold move for Kate to step up to the plate with this project, and to promote it by doing this podcast. Her staff and p.r. minders have surely been working overtime.
Kate’s podcast interview reminds me of when Kate & William guested on a Radio One talk show in 2018. I now wonder whether that guest spot was inspired by M&H’s visit to a radio station in Brixton around the same time. I say that because there are a whole slew of examples of W&K following M&H’s lead or piggybacking on M&H’s ideas and initiatives.
Kate certainly shared a lot of confidences that we have not been used to experiencing from her previous buttoned-up picture perfect image. Her speaking voice is so much better now than during her engagement interview in 2010. Kate mumbled and swallowed her words, and trailed off in her thought process with incomplete sentences.
The W&K engagement interview is just as revealing about their relationship as is the M&H engagement interview.
I don’t think Kate is shy about speaking in public. She is not the best public speaker but I think believes some of the PR hype about her and does not think she ‘needs’ to improve. William is the same. I don’t think she’s a good speaker. I don’t know if she writes the speeches but they are full of platitudes and not at all inspiring.
What’s with her expression in the photo? It’s as bad as hyena laugh. I can’t believe that out of all the photos, THAT is the one they went with.
Long time reader, first time commenter.
The photo struck me as a very weird choice. Hyper happy Kate looks weirdly like she’s in a Hallmark movie as the happy princess, but the interviewer appears to be thinking “Are you seriously this obtuse?”
Bwayney is the survey the culmination of two years of expert research or is it a ruse intended to deceive the public into thinking Kate has been working? Your response seems to suggest its purpose is to engage conversation. I promise you that scholars and educators have engaged with this topic for decades. As for parents, especially the less privileged, they are looking for real solutions, and not a rehashing of the nature v. nurture topic. Of course both play a role.
Kate is not a scholar. she majored in art history and not psychology or education. SHe had no career nor seemed that interest in doing anything but wait for the ring for years. THe ones who really pursue scholarly interests and do genuine research are to be admired not a dabbler like Kate.
To be honest, I used to think more highly of Kate, just based on formerly superficial knowledge about her. I was very surprised when the masks came off and Kate/William were revealed to be their very insecure selves, unable to be happy for Harry that he found his soul mate, and unwilling to speak out against the bullying of Meghan by the British tabloids. It would have been ‘so simple’ for K/W, C/C and the Queen via her staff to simply present a united front against the trashing of a pregnant WOC, who is part of their family. To know that K/W and perhaps to some extent Clarence House, BP, and Royal Lodge played into and allowed the hounding of Meghan, for me, makes practically all of the ‘hurry up and catch-up’ projects and revamped touring of K/W and the new ‘women-focused’ initiatives of C/C void of credibility and sincerity.
I didn’t pay much attention to her prior to Meghan. I liked her hair and thought it was brave of her to not hide her postpartum belly when she did Lindo Wing with baby George. And I’d just assumed that she was a smart person and a hard worker. Why wouldn’t a woman with that kind of influence be at least smart and hard working , right? Boy, was I wrong. I had no idea that she was basically a living breathing doormat.
I always saw her as an anachronism. Getting a degree to be in proximity of a wealthy husband. I saw her as a Stepford Girlfriend then wife. she was said to rush over when she saw another woman with William. I never saw her as smart. she majored in art history and waited 8 years for the ring never really using her degree or advancing herself.
Why did it take eight years? Because it took the impact of the Sussexes for them to realize that being more relatable is vital to the future relevancy of the BRF.
The sad thing is this survey is having zero impact. No one is talking about it, there is no hype surrounding it. Her podcast yesterday was overshadowed by the death of caroline flack and then right towards the end of the day the British media turned its attention to the new harry and Meghan pics 🤷♀️
True, it was completely overshadowed by Caroline Flack (such a terrible situation) and new pics of Harry and Meg. Bad news cycle for anyone else trying to get a look in
Sara said: “Why did it take eight years? Because it took the impact of the Sussexes for them to realize that being more relatable is vital to the future relevancy of the BRF.”
Exactly! Plus, the bright and shining light of the Sussexes shed a harsher light on the Cambridges (or as has been said, the ‘Lamebridges’).
If only W&K had responded with generosity and full acceptance toward Meghan. If only Prince Charles had joined with W&K to present a united front in support of M&H. But it was not to be in large part due to William’s and Charles’ own character flaws and their complicity with the British media due to having something to hide. What a sad tale.
If the British monarchy lasts, it is heading toward even more stark irrelevancy. And I wonder how the Commonwealth countries will respond once the Queen dies? Harry & Meghan were the aces in the hole for the Commonwealth. Meghan’s wedding veil was such a poignant and substantive symbol of the work she and Harry would have been able to do on behalf of the monarchy for Commonwealth Youth initiatives.
As it stands, I can’t see William being named as Commonwealth Youth Ambassador, but I’ve heard that William was jealous of Harry being assigned the role. Such jealousy serves no one. We’ll see what happens going forward for the monarchy. There appears to be sympathy for Kate among the RRs, and she is coming more out of her shy shell. But W&K are simply not naturals in connecting with people in the way Meghan and Harry are.
Kate is not shy. Any woman who poses in a see through dress to get a Prince to notice her is no shrinking violet. Also she waged a public media campaign to “win William back” wearing short skirts and posing for the cameras being seen with other men. I never saw her as a shy. I saw Kate more workshy than shy. SHe always knew where the cameras were.
What I wanted to raise is that chores are the least of many mums’ worries. For many of us, we have already had to let go of keeping up with chores because we have other more serious things to contend with. Some of us don’t have the luxury of getting outside with our kids enough (or at all) because we are literally running our asses of just to survive, to support other family members that rely on us, to save our failing family business, to deal with violence, disasters, community crises, etc. Our world is not limited to just home and children.
Wouldn’t it be great if all we had to worry about was our kids and our chores!
If we had time to feel “mom guilt” maybe we would, but when life is tough, feeling mom guilt is a luxury unto itself! When life is tough, the whole family has to suck it up and try to muddle through, and I’m sorry if little Jimmy and Susie don’t get enough nature walks.
I wish it wasn’t that way, but that’s just the way it is for many families.
LOL. I think my kids had more guilt than I ever did!!
Nothing substantial and nothing new to say aside from all the research that has been done by legit educators. Why doesn’t she just stick to ribbon cutting? It is too obvious here that she has never worked all her life. If this is the quality of work she submitted about early childhood, it wouldn’t fly professionally. She and her team are not game changers, as much as they try to be. And if she had acknowledged her privilege, that would be appreciated by working mothers everywhere and I would credit her for that.
Out of curiosity, I clicked on the comments of the DM articles about this. This podcast didnt seem to go over well. Still plenty of comments praising her for being a robot who doesn’t toe the line, but a surprising amount of people called out her tone deafness. I was surprised to see the “waity katy” nickname brought back up in full force in response to her not knowing what a working mom goes through. With only one actual sighting of the Sussexs in weeks, seems like people are finally coming back around to criticizing the other royals. Particularly the Cambridges.
“It’s such a great environment to spend time in, building those quality relationships without the distractions of ‘I’ve got to cook’ and ‘I’ve got to do this.”
Well almost all mothers HAVE to cook and clean and do laundry and grocery shop because they don’t have the f*cking privileges you do. Getting outside is great but let’s get real, what working mom has the leisure to go frolic in the woods and count butterflies? They’re usually running their kids to hockey or soccer or ballet or piano lessons or whatever after school or early weekend mornings. Sadly there are many other children being brought up in an inner city/under-privileged situation with maybe only one parent so the chances of spending quality time outdoors are further diminished unless their outdoors is a patch of dirty cement and a basketball hoop. God she is so blind. Didn’t that stupid survey do ANYTHING to open her eyes?
Clearly I haven’t had enough coffee this morning. Sorry for the rant.
“Didn’t that stupid survey do anything to open her eyes?” Right? I guess with the questions she’s asked, she’s not really going to get any meaningful answers about what people struggle with and how they actually live, but hasn’t a big part of the survey roll out supposedly been Kate going all around, especially to poor places and prisons and such, and talking to people about their lives, childhoods, and parenting concerns? Is she not actually listening to what people say? Or is she not actually talking to people when she’s there besides just shaking hands and saying Hi to 4 year olds? Or are the people she’s talking to super vetted to make sure they won’t be in any way offensive so that the conversations are like: 80 year old lady: “OMG Kate, I’m so excited to meet you, you look beautiful! I love your buttony coat!” Kate: “Thanks, peasant. So… have you taken the survey, what do you think?” 80: “Yes! I think it’s really delightful that you’re focusing on children. I had 7 children! And your children, how are those precious little muffins?” Kate: “Very well, thanks. Such a handful sometimes! We’ve been playing outside lately, don’t you think that’s so important?” 80: “OMG, yes! When I was a little girl we spent hours playing outside on my grandfather’s bean farm. We’d be as brown as… well, you know… by the end of the summer! And my poor mother was always chastising us girls about getting mud in our petticoats! But it was worth it. Kids these days just don’t do that anymore….”
The reality is that this survey is all for show. If Kate actually cared about this topic she would have done far more by now. She’s been lazy from day one, enabled by her mother to catch a prince and not much else. She’s almost 40 and a personality and work ethic change is damn near impossible considering she remains enabled to be lazy and do the least amount possible. She has no reason to change and will keep on pretending to do work, as the media and PR will praise her for leaving her fancy homes on occasion. That so many don’t see through the facade is what’s scary at this point.
LOL rofl @Amy Too at your conversation scenario between Kate and an 80 year old lady she might meet on one of her tours for this lame project. That’s too funny and somehow also rings true.
And I also agree with comments by @Nic919 and @aquarius64! The idea for Kate to embiggen herself by aligning projects with her personal passions is a good one, likely picked up from her SIL, Meghan’s example. But this survey project seems to lack specificity, targeted expertise and projected quantifiable, achievable results within a conceivable time frame.
Another difference is that Meghan has been giving back to others and working hard all of her life. Meghan was also well-traveled from an early age, and very smart. Meghan’s social conscience led to her writing letters at the age of 11 in order to enact change. And her letter writing actually achieved positive results, which helped Meghan to realize that her voice and her compassion for others could make a real difference in the world. That’s a powerful lesson.
I can’t fault Kate for not being privy to similar lessons and growth experiences. I do fault Kate for not practicing what she preaches, re the importance of mental health, and the importance of pregnant women being respected, aided and cared about to ensure their own health and well-being as well as the health and safety of their unborn children.
The interview is just basic. It plays into platitudes of the ideal family life but not go into much depth. It doesn’t address factors llike socio-ecomonic factors that can impact families. If this podcast and the survey talked to people of various backgrounds there would be more weight to it.
The BRF is not doing Kate any favors by pushing the say at home mom who makes chutney image. Kate is not doing herself any favors. As the wife of the future head of state going into the 21st century she should be taking the lead and be a partner to her husband the sovereign to be. Now her job is to look pretty, be “non offensive ” and not make waves. No making waves includes looking the other way when Bill’s scepter begins to wander. That’s a lot to put up with for a tiara. That same press that praises her now will turn on her if she leaves even for just cause. In the end Kate is a married in and therefore expandable like Diana, Sarah, Meghan and recently Autumn.
Basic banal platitudes. I saw one royal reporter call it “groundbreaking”. The bar really is below the floor for this one. Meanwhile, Meghan produces actual game changing projects with quantifiable results and she’s called a narcissist and gets ripped to shreds. I’m so glad she’s removed herself from that cesspool.
Yes, the bar is very low, with KP encouraging the hyperbole by stating it’s a “landmark” survey and inviting the public to “Have your say in the biggest ever national conversation on the early years”. Fcking ridiculous.
I agree. I can’t believe the study is called “groundbreaking”. The ones who do the groundbreaking studies are experts in the field; Kate is far from having that status. Often the studies are written by practitioners, physicians, and PhDs in Education or Psychology. Kate who majored in Art History and did not use her degree given all this credit is absurd.
Yes, Tessa, but get used it – that’s how she rolls : Announce a plan to be “keen” about something, go into hiding while everyone else does the legwork and voila, take credit when the work is done.
“wife of the future head of state going into the 21st century she should be taking the lead and be a partner to her husband the sovereign to be.”
If Kate wants to appear modern, and like she actually has a clue, she should be using Letizia as a role model instead of the queen.
Exactly. Royal reporters praise her for modeling herself after the queen and it just shows how completely out of touch all of these people are. What 38 year old woman takes her cues from a 93 year old womam? It’s ridiculous. Kate’s a WW2 era throwback and it’s why she’s not even a favorite for her own generation, let alone Britons who are younger than her. She’ll be queen consort over a more diverse Britain than ever and yet she runs around like a wealthy housewife circa 1942. I just find her to be a complete joke.
Just wanted to add that climate change is affecting our engagement with nature and making it much more complicated.
You practically have to bathe in sunscreen in Summer months and high heat and humidity can make outdoor playing risky for heatstroke. Where I live the spread of lyme disease via ticks is a constant concern making us hyper vigilant about outdoor play risky.
I spent a lot of time outdoors growing up in the 60’s and 70’s but I don’t see many kids playing outside anymore for myriad reasons. It’s a different world now so we need to explore modern pursuits that help kids thrive. Cuz going back to the way things were won’t work anymore.
That’s an extremely good point about climate changing and the new weather patterns we have now. Summers are hotter than ever, winters are colder, and all throughout the year there are bigger, more damaging storms than ever before. Even from Kate’s childhood, 30 years ago, when she was running around outside, things have become more extreme. And not everyone can afford to fly out to some exotic beach location during the winter months so they can play outside on a beach. Or spend their summers way out in the countryside where things are generally cooler than in the city.
And in the UK, aren’t there restrictions on what one can use water for during the summer? Are you allowed to water the lawn and play in the sprinkler? Fill up a kiddy pool? My knowledge is from watching Gardeners’ World where they talk about not being able to use the hose to water plants, they have to collect rain water.
I think as far as the palace goes, this IS groundbreaking because podcasts are a digital medium. Yes, most of us have been listening to them for more than a decade, but remember how long it took for any of the royals to use Instagram? These are not exactly early adopters.
Podcasts are pretty forgiving, as they don’t have a live audience, you feel more like you are having a cozy chat so they feel much more intimate, and a kind producer will get rid of your ums and awkward segues.
I would like for her to do more of these, especially with a host that will push her a bit on those questions of privilege. David Tenant has a pretty good interview podcast, or BBC’s desert island discs, any other UK ones come to mind?
Don’t forget Harry did his mental health podcast with Bryony Gordon in 2017 so it’s not that groundbreaking for royals.
Good for Kate though to open up on her experiences.
I’m loving the side-eye from that little girl.
That little girl knows who she’s dealing with.
Right @kerwood, I got that same vibe from the little girl. Just as it seems clear that Kate has been trying overly hard since Meghan met & married Harry. OTOH, Meghan without even having to try hard has brought down-to-earth meaning and relevance to everything she has done. As Tina from the SussexSquad has said, “Meghan is not new to this [the work she’s done since marrying Harry]; she’s true to this [to the work, to herself and to the passions she’s always had for helping others].”
So while I can applaud Kate finally finding herself and figuring out from Meghan’s lead how to go about working as a royal in a way that melds with personal passions, it doesn’t seem very genuine on Kate’s part. I’m sure the experiences and feelings Kate is relating on the podcast are genuine, but the authentic motivation is not really there in an organic, spontaneous way. Kate knew she needed to step up because Meghan was naturally outpacing and ‘outshining’ her without even trying.
Had Kate actually generously welcomed Meghan into the royal fold and actively shown her SIL real support and compassion, then I would be able to offer less side-eye to Keen Kate’s sudden stepping up to the plate with elaborate garden projects, tours across Britain, family surveys, a Christmas cooking special, informing us that she’s writing her own speeches, guesting on podcasts, writing open letters to midwives, and showing concern for having an impact on early childhood development.
There is no way Kate is writing her own speeches. She’s not smart enough for that. Plus she reads them so poorly it’s so they aren’t her own words.
I really don’t understand why you’re so unkind about certain women whom you’ve never met like Kate, Jen etc.
Try keeping up then.
@Suzannah, Do you ask the same question of Meghan-hating trolls, or of the royal reporters and the vicious tabloid press, or of Kate & William, and other royals who made the choice not to speak out against the relentless trashing of Harry’s pregnant wife?
Gee I wonder why individuals, the BM, the Middleton (Carole’s interview plus the crap spewed by her favorite journos who have her on speed dial) and even members of the RF perpetually bullied, harassed, threw racist slurs at Meghan. Funny you didn’t ask that question.
@Suz — at least once on every Kate post someone says something along the lines of “ eventually you get the face you deserve.” And as I read these threads, I often think “ I sure as hell hope so.”
Yes Kate, most households don’t have nannies, housekeepers or cooks so that having to cook and take care of the home is not a distraction but a reality.
In regard to the comments about Kate’s speaking voice. Sure, she’s gotten some help trying to project more and she’s improved. I can’t really tell whether she’s trying to drop or soften her affected British upper class accent.
I will give Kate some slack for the fact that she has admitted to being shy. Obviously, public speaking has been difficult for her and she’s made a yeoman effort at last to overcome those challenges. Seemingly, Meghan coming on the scene has been just the push and spark Kate needed to work more diligently at improving her speaking voice and projecting more rather than mumbling and swallowing her words and failing to adequately finish her sentences. This is facts, not harshness.
Kate has come a long way since entering the royal spotlight. She’s always shown toughness in her own right. And she’s obviously very good at her photography passion, which she studied at St. Andrews. I used to respect Kate from afar, not really knowing a lot about her, because I found her pleasant as the newest member of the royals back in 2011, but overall she was not that interesting especially in the long term as the years passed. I chalked up Kate and William being boring to the fact that they were going to be Queen and King, and thus had to be reserved and reticent in public. Kate got along well with Harry too, so I thought she was probably fun to be around generally.
I had sincerely expected Harry’s family to be so happy for him finally finding a soulmate and clearly being so deeply in love, and settling down. But no, as things developed, it’s been obvious that Meghan and Harry ‘shine’ too much as a couple. As Katie Nicholl cautioned before Sussexit happened, “Meghan and Harry need to dim their light.” Why?? Oh, because just by existing and breathing M&H ‘overshadow’ the rightful heir and his Queen, and even Prince Charles is grumpy about the Sussexes becoming too popular.
I find the way M&H have been treated by the British press and the royal firm to be unforgivable. With a show of genuine support behind the scenes by the major royals, I think M&H might have been able to overcome some of the challenges. But it was probably not to be because of the complicated mess that the senior royals have found themselves in with catering to the press. M&H were never going to go that route, especially not as a result of being continually bullied, gaslighted, trashed, isolated, and expected to take it all with a stiff upper lip while somehow also having to ‘dim their light,’ whatever that is supposed to mean. It seems to mean not being true to who they are as human beings. And that’s a no-brainer, too high a price for anyone to be able to maintain a happy, productive existence, let alone to maintain a happy marriage.
Perhaps Kate is more comfortable, if not happy, with the price she’s paying. At least, Kate’s speaking voice is a bit more projected and confident. But I think she can continue working on trying to sound more spontaneous/ natural, and less forced, clipped, and rehearsed.
Kate acts like being outside is the cure all for everything. Mental health, early childhood, etc.. As someone said, due to climate change, being outside is not ideal. It is so hot and you have to bathe in sunscreen. I didn’t take my kids out much last summer due to the heat. We stayed inside but we still were together and having fun ( which is more important) When I had to make dinner, my kids would help, when I had to clean, my kids would help. They learned life skills. My youngest son loves board games so he had a blast playing Trouble and Sorry. It’s more important to be together whether it is outside or inside. Plus, they leaned how to help with chores.
I can’t take her seriously with early childhood and pregnancy. She didn’t show compassion where it was needed. After Archie was born she was asked about it and said “Spring is such a lovely time to have babies!” What kind of answer is that?! She could have asked the press to give them time as a family but she gave that odd ball answer instead. What a waste.
I wonder what percentage of women in the UK can actually relate to Kate. If I had to guess I would say….NONE. I don’t think Kate is truly in touched with anything outside of her immediate circle. She’s just checking the box as she goes about her Royal Duties. Her podcast could’ve been so much more if she mentioned new mothers or mothers of multiple children that she had discussions with throughout her 9 years in the RF and how those discussions led her to where she is today. Instead the discussion is really on Kate and how Kate wants every woman to be like her when we all know that no one will ever be like her (maybe George’s wife). She is in a very unique role in history at this moment in time and I don’t think she fully understands what that means. When I listen to Kate she reminds me of the guy at company meetings that says a lot of words but he has NO point and when he’s finish he ultimately said NOTHING. It’s very annoying
@MOLLY
“I wonder what percentage of women in the UK can actually relate to Kate. If I had to guess I would say….NONE”
I agree. Alot of people were in denial for years thanx to absence of someone to compare her to but after Meghan’s appearance, her inaction and lack of accomplishments were so visible and there wasnt an excuse for it! Despite her PRIVILEGED life, she prefers to just show up for photographs! No wonder her patronages are struggling🤦♀️
I didn’t feel mom guilt when I was working. I worked with my first as well as went to classes. Then I became a SAHM when I had my second because otherwise I was working for childcare money so what was the point. And I really missed working. A lot. But I threw myself into my new role and loved it too. Doing crafts with the kids and going to the playground and for walks. I went back to work when my third started kindergarten. I sometimes missed events but I would’ve anyway because, with three, sometimes there was overlap between various sports, extracurriculars and school events. But I attended everything I could (and was in the PTA) and my kids understood that. And I worked at a library so my actual day to day schedule changed from month to month but was at a 40 hour and tried to arrange time if I knew in advance. And when I was home, I was present for them. They knew they were loved more than anything and that was my main thing.
If anyone would have guilt it was husband. He served 27 years in the Air Force. Just retired in January when our third was 17 and halfway through our senior year. So literally the entirety of our kids’ school years. He deployed, he worked 40, 50, 80 hrs a week depending. The military isn’t a 40 hour, 9 to 5 by any means. He lived separately from us when he was at the pentagon so we could stay in our Virginia home in Hampton 3 hrs away with good schools and stability (something rare for military kids) and commuted home on the weekends. He missed a lot. But life is what it is sometimes and parents also have a responsibility to their kids to make sure they’re housed and fed and to try and give them a good quality of life to the best of their ability. And be present when they’re home and know they’re loved and cherished.
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences @Courtney B!
Raising children is different for everyone and it’s helpful to share. While I didn’t have children of my own, I have nieces and nephews and I was 12 years older than my younger brother so I remember vividly taking him outside in the backyard as a three-year-old and introducing him to nature, and how he was always full of questions and innocence in those early childhood years — a crucial and special time.
If Kate thought strategically and outside-the-box, she probably could come up with something more meaningful and helpful on a smaller scale for a particular school or community, rather than taking this broad survey approach that doesn’t yet appear to have much heft or substance beyond a lot of talking points without concrete, purposeful action and achievable results.