We’re all struggling with ways to spend our quarantine hours. Some are taking the opportunity to learn a new skill or hobby. Some are relying heavily on their fallbacks, like reading or watching movies/TV. And then there’s Emily Ratajkowski, who got bored and married her dog off. Emily and her husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, are parents of Columbo, a handsome boy who looks to have Rottweiler/Shepard ancestry. Emily’s neighbors, Josh Ostrovsky and Caitlin King, are parents to a beautiful corgi girl named appropriately, Happy. Last weekend, the two pairs hosted a wedding for Colombo and Happy, thereby formally uniting the two families.
Honestly, planning events is my coping mechanism during this pandemic. Having some silly celebration to focus on has proven to be the thing to pull me through week-to-week. So I absolutely see the value in hosting a dog wedding, a cat wedding, a salt and pepper shaker wedding – whatever. Weddings tend to fill a home with beautiful things, like flowers, as you can see in Emily’s photos, and champagne. If you need an excuse, it’s a good time to dress to the nines. Weddings are fun.
However, what do we know about Columbo and Happy’s relationship? Was the wedding their choice? Or does Happy have a dowry that Emily and Sebastian are after? Was this to secure a title for the Ostrovsky/King family or do they bring an allegiance that will allow Emily access to their Meyer’s lemon tree or something? Is Happy in fact English and Columbo just looking for the dual citizenship – why are we just now hearing about the union?! And what happens after lockdown, when, presumably, the families return to their own estates, will husband and wife be forced to live apart? I’m sure there a pup-nuptial was drawn up that protects the best interests of both doggos. I hate to cast my doubts on such an attractive union, but Columbo just turned one last month – he’s so young! Has he accomplished all that he wanted as a single dog? I have no idea how old Happy is, but she looks spry enough to keep up with Columbo at least. If she is, in fact, the same age as Columbo, that would explain the cones, they were probably both altered recently, which also explains why they were so exhausted after the ceremony.
Until we know the full story, I will merely wish the lovely couple many years of happiness as they set out in their new adventure together. I do hope there was a rehearsal dinner with a pre-wedding slide show, that included pics of both pups as babies and chronicle their time as single dogs who have come together to be Mr. and Ms… wait, whose last name will they take?
Photo credit: Instagram and WENN/Avalon
Important Question: did they serve cake at the reception?? There better have been cake!
omg 😳 I die of laughter. the write up of this made my day
I agree! Great writing, Hecate!
Social distancing?
Oh you didn’t get the memo? Celebs and/or rich people don’t have to quarantine. They are above all.
They are quarantining together, in the same house.
Sez in story they are quarantining together. I thought the same thing from the photo. Read the story and it became clear.
That’s the guy who calls himself the “Fat Jew” on line and steals people’s jokes. Ugh.
She got called out by comedy people on twitter for defending him.
I give it four days.
2 questions: why is her dress so damn wrinkled and what is up with that gigantic bottle of bubbly with her instagram name printed on the label? Man, celebs are getting thirsty … smh about the social distancing
Wonder if the wedding took place in the apartment they were squatting in, after refusing to pay rent for like a year…