Meredith Salenger to Patton Oswalt on their big fight: I was wronged, you don’t remember

Patton Oswalt’s new Netflix standup special, I Love Everything, came out this week. He opens up about losing his wife and how depressed he was, and says that meeting Meredith Salenger, his wife of two and a half years, changed everything for him. He also told a story about a big fight they had recently. That story happens around minute 30 into the show. He had a fight with Meredith and left to take a hike and blow off steam. When he got back to his car there was a scary note from her on it.

I was resigned to living in the gray after what I went through a couple of years ago. Then I met this poem of a woman who relit the sky and I just said ‘I’m going to run at love again.’ If you see love, run at it.

Being married is the best I love it. No matter how good of a marriage you are in, you will have fights. A couple of months ago, we had one of those blowouts. The fight ended with both of us ‘I don’t want to listen to your shit anymore.’

‘I’m going on a hike.’ Off I went on my hike. Halfway through ‘what am I doing? We blew this up over nothing, I got to go back and apologize.’

Little did I know that she was home [doing the same thing].

This was meant as a romantic gesture. She went to where I hike, parked the car where I couldn’t see it, wrote a note, left it on my windshield.

Here’s the note. First line: Stop. Second line: get out of your car. Third line: Walk to the park bench in front of you. Last line: I love you.

Yes, it ended with I love you, but that was a long terrifying walk to I love you.

[From I Love Everything on Netflix]

Patton said he first thought the note might have been from some MAGA he fought with on Twitter. Spoiler, Meredith was right there at the park and they made up after that.

Anyway Patton and Meredith were on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where they recounted their fight. We still don’t know what it was about, although I would be hard-pressed to remember the origin of some of the worst fights with my ex. Meredith kept insisting that she was right about the fight! That starts around 4:20 in the interview, which is below.

Meredith: Yes, the note seems ominous. I was still mad when I wrote the note. I didn’t say ‘I forgive you.’ I said, ‘I love you.’ You’re going to come back from your hike after you’ve thought how wrong you are and you’re going to apologize to me.

In the special he says ‘We had a blowout fight and I said to her I’m going to go for a hike.’ That’s not at all how it happened. We got into a fight and I said ‘I’m leaving,’ not forever just out the door. And he’s like ‘I’m going on a hike.’

Patton: So I did a ‘I’m not fired I quit?’

Meredith: He’s the one who made a mistake and I was gracious enough to give him an opening to apologize. Which by the way he did because he’s a great husband. You know you were wrong. You don’t remember it well, but I do. I was wronged and you weren’t.

[From Jimmy Kimmel Live]

Patton showed video that Meredith shot of him finding the note too! He should have played that during the standup special. The way Meredith closed that note is so relatable to me. I start so many conversations with my teenager with “I love you.” You’re supposed to open with that though.

You’re also not supposed to bug guys after a fight! The advice is to give them space and then make up later. I’m divorced though and I usually give men way too much space so don’t take advice from me.

Here’s that interview. They’re cute together. I follow both of them on Twitter and it’s nice to see them interact. Does Meredith always have to be right though or is it just this one fight?

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16 Responses to “Meredith Salenger to Patton Oswalt on their big fight: I was wronged, you don’t remember”

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  1. runcmc says:

    I just watched this special yesterday! I gotta say though…when we watched this, my partner and I looked at each other like “uhhh we don’t fight like that.” I was …maybe a little concerned that it was being portrayed as totally normal that everyone has huge fights and has to leave the house to be able to make up? I’m not saying it’s the WORST thing- people fight in different ways after all!- I was just kinda confused that it was discussed as par for the course. Patton definitely described it as “you know, we all do that!” Actually we don’t though…

    • TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

      Yeah, my husband and I don’t either. We fight, don’t get me wrong, but no one really stomps out of the house. I think in 11 years we might have had one fight that devolved into a major screaming match and a cool down period.

    • Jenn says:

      We don’t either. We disagree and bicker, usually good natured, but we don’t fight. We’ve had maybe 4 big ones over 25 years.

      I disagree with leaving men alone after a fight, cause I’m the one you need to leave alone! Lol. It might be over, but I’m slow to adjust my headspace and poking at me only prolongs it!

    • Joy says:

      Yeah me neither. I grew up with parents that did this DAILY so I absolutely will not.

    • Erinn says:

      We mostly have arguments and a little huffiness, but we’ve had a couple fights were we’ve both shouted in the 15+ years that we’ve been together (married 6). But we started dating in 9th grade, so there’s been some growing pains over the years. We’ve never stormed off, though. At worst, I’d go hole myself up in our bedroom for a half hour to watch something dumb on youtube and cool off, and then we always apologize and acknowledge that we understand where the other person is coming from. There’s not name calling or anything like that, at least – we don’t fight dirty. Just occasionally loud.

    • Flamingo says:

      My last serious relationship before I got married was like this. Lots of door slamming, name calling, leaving in a huff. I’m sure it works for some people, but I remember it being just exhausting. Some people feed off drama, some people, like myself, used to feed off drama (especially in my 20’s) and have outgrown it. Hopefully this isn’t a regular thing for them, because it gets really emotionally draining quickly.

    • Eliza_ says:

      Yeah totally not our normal either. No one leaves. We fight, we resolve or agree to disagree, and he doesn’t get moody and need space (let alone need a hike) we just move forward.

      I was going to say maybe they’re both a bit more sensitive or dramatic, or don’t have kids to watch as they ride off after each other but there’s a 10-11yo at home who had to be with one of them I’m assuming.

    • veroS says:

      If I am really upset, I do go for a walk. I let my partner know that I need a little space to compose myself, go for a walk, and then talk about the argument when tempers aren’t so high. It helps me gain some perspective and sort through my feelings. I’m surprised that so many people find this odd, but it’s actually something I started doing after seeing a therapist for my anxiety. I tend to get very emotional in arguments and it’s very easy for me to get stressed and anxious in even minor confrontations. Taking a walk helps me to calm down and be able to come back and have a constructive talk about an argument.

      Edit to say that I didn’t watch the video, so I don’t really know exactly how their fight went down.

      Also edit to say my partner and I rarely, almost never, raise our voices at each other. But even so, I think sometimes it’s good to have some space if emotions are too high in an argument to come to a resolution

  2. Noki says:

    Her mouth is exactly like Katie Holmes.

  3. Lila says:

    Someone call Kristin Bell. I’m sure she’d love to get in on that action.

  4. Maple says:

    Me and the fiancé have a fight/disagreement/do something to annoy/piss the other person off and then we spend like 2 or 3 days (sometimes more) avoiding each other/giving the silent treatment
    We eventually come together and maybe have a brief discussion about what happened which usually ends with me or him being like fine/whatever/sorry
    It’s exhausting and I hate it
    I think the fact that we don’t know how to fight properly will be our downfall

    • Some chick says:

      It very well could. Fortunately, you can learn how to disagree productively and fairly. Start soon. Don’t wait too long like I did in my last relationship. Good luck!

    • Ange says:

      Silent treatment really is exhausting, i definitely wouldn’t get married until that’s sorted out perhaps with a professional

  5. Meg says:

    Ive heard he has a reputation for being a jerk on set at times but i got choked up when he said he ‘decided to run at love. If you see love run at it.’

  6. Chancey says:

    I find this all to be a bit oversharey. I mean good for him for finding someone after his wife passed. Is that his identity now?

    • Fi says:

      Totally agree. I find them so attention seeking. And they got married so fast. Losing his wife was terrible but some people get addicted to others being invested in their life. Meredith definitely loves the attention too