Tatler’s cover story about the Duchess of Cambridge made me laugh out loud several times. What’s even funnier is that Tatler thinks they’re doing this important thing, which in their mind is Embiggening Kate, but what they’re really doing is making her sound like a lazy, bullying a–hole without a personality. It’s pretty funny. Also hilarious: Kate is good friends with several Tatler people and Camp Cambridge clearly gave Tatler the nod to run many anti-Meghan, anti-Sussex pieces over the past few years. But when all eyes are FINALLY on Kate, guess what? Even Tatler can’t really succeed at embiggening her. Some highlights:
Kate the Kingmaker: Popular with courtiers, who admire her fuss-free ability to ‘get the job done’, as well as with her loyal royal staff (no Sussex-esque turnover of assistants here), in the almost-decade since she joined ‘the Firm’, she’s more than proven her abilities as a royal consort. Indeed, she’s gone so far as to be dubbed ‘a kingmaker’ – surely one of the highest accolades given to a Princess.
Kate champions children: ‘Kate knows what the country needs and wants. Championing how to raise your children is perfect,’ one friend points out, of the Duchess’s ability to appear like a down-to-earth parent during recent Zoom appearances and podcast interviews.
The workload post-Sussexit: ‘Of course she’s smiling and dressing appropriately but she doesn’t want this. She feels exhausted and trapped. She’s working as hard as a top CEO, who has to be wheeled out all the time, without the benefits of boundaries and plenty of holidays.’
Her stoic personality: ‘It’s why she is so well suited. She keeps her head down because the prize of being queen is so great. She models herself on the Queen and now speaks like the Queen.’
Carole is the brains: Kate’s mother Carole, is noted as a close confidante and influence, particularly as she herself is so ambitious. A friend of Donna Air, Kate’s younger brother James Middleton’s ex, alleges, ‘Carole is the masterminding force between those girls.’
The Sussexes threw children under a bus! A friend of the Cambridges speaking to Tatler magazine revealed: ‘William and Catherine really wanted to be hands-on parents and the Sussexes have effectively thrown their three children under a bus.’
Kate can’t make the school run! The insider went on to call Meghan and Prince Harry ‘so selfish’ for their behaviour, adding that their decision would have profound impacts on the Cambridge’s family life. They explained: ‘There goes their morning school runs as the responsibilities on them now are enormous.’
The fight between Kate & Meghan during the wedding fittings: ‘It was a hot day and apparently there was a row over whether the bridesmaids should wear tights or not. Kate, following protocol, felt that they should. Meghan didn’t want them to.’ The royal went on to ‘put Meghan in her place’, reprimanding her for speaking down to Kensington Palace staff.
Kate is ruthless: One insider added: ‘In the palace, you hear numerous stories of the staff saying so-and-so is a nightmare and behaves badly but you never hear that about Kate.’ Kate, whose manners are described as impeccable, is also said to have a ‘ruthless survival streak’ that makes her ‘well suited’ to the House of Windsor.’
“She feels exhausted and trapped. She’s working as hard as a top CEO” is AMAZING. Kate works like a CEO, in that she mysteriously disappears for weeks and months at a time, shows up to events in button-covered prairie cosplay and then smiles vaguely for 20 minutes once a week. SHE WORKS AS HARD AS A CEO, people. And she does so “without the benefits of boundaries and plenty of holidays.” LMAO. How is this supposed to help Kate again? Also, William and Kate literally orchestrated a campaign to bully the Sussexes out of the country, and now the Cambridges are super-bitter about how the Sussexes abandoned them? That will never stop being hilarious to me. And all of the breast-beating about Harry and Meghan throwing children under the bus! Yes, it’s so unlike William and Kate orchestrating a racist smear campaign against Meghan when she was pregnant and in the months following Archie’s birth. GMAFB.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red and Backgrid.