Bunker Baby Donald Trump claims he only went to the White House bunker to ‘inspect’ it

Trump Visits St. John's Church

When protesters were on the streets of Washington DC Sunday night, Donald Trump got bigly scared and he ran down to the White House bunker to suck his thumb and rage tweet like the chickenhawk coward he is. This cowardice was what fueled everything that came next. Once everyone learned that Trump dumped a load in his diaper as he cried in the bunker, Trump *had* to tear-gas kids and clergy the next day to prove that he was a big man with normal-sized hands. And because of his diminished mental capacity, Trump keeps claiming he really didn’t crawl down to the bunker because he was scared. He was there for an inspection, y’all.

Reportedly angered by the perception that he was hiding in a bunker while parts of Washington, D.C., burned around him over the weekend, Donald Trump reemerged publicly on Monday to speak in the Rose Garden as peaceful protesters were violently expelled near the White House.

Trump got his comeback glamour shots—posing in front of St. John’s while waving around “a Bible” for the cameras—and is now denying that he ever retreated to said bunker at all. During a Wednesday interview on Fox News Radio, the president acknowledged that, yes, he did briefly go subterranean, but only to inspect the secure quarters. “Well, it was a false report,” he told Fox’s Brian Kilmeade. “I went down during the day, and I was there for a tiny little short period of time, and it was much more for an inspection. There was no problem during the day.” The president went on to say that he’d “gone down two or three times, all for inspection,” because “someday you may need it,” the implication being that nationwide unrest, triggered by a white Minneapolis police officer killing George Floyd, an unarmed black man, was not one of those times. “We never had a problem. Nobody ever came close to giving us a problem,” he said, noting in the same breath that “one evening…was a little rough,” so that’s why he “brought in the troops.”

[From Vanity Fair]

Yeah, he totally hid in the bunker Sunday night. That’s why they turned out all of the lights in the White House and pretended he wasn’t there. There’s this thing called the tick-tock where the White House has to account for the president’s whereabouts at all times, and those tick-tocks are accessible via FOIA. He was in the bunker. Which now brings me to his actions on Monday, when he tear-gassed and flash-banged kids and clergy. The NY Times had a “behind-the-scenes” account of that:

After a weekend of protests that led all the way to his own front yard and forced him to briefly retreat to a bunker beneath the White House, President Trump arrived in the Oval Office on Monday agitated over the television images, annoyed that anyone would think he was hiding and eager for action. He wanted to send the military into American cities, an idea that provoked a heated, voices-raised fight among his advisers. But by the end of the day, urged on by his daughter Ivanka Trump, he came up with a more personal way of demonstrating toughness — he would march across Lafayette Square to a church damaged by fire the night before.

The only problem: A plan developed earlier in the day to expand the security perimeter around the White House had not been carried out. When Attorney General William P. Barr strode out of the White House gates for a personal inspection early Monday evening, he discovered that protesters were still on the northern edge of the square. For the president to make it to St. John’s Church, they would have to be cleared out. Mr. Barr gave the order to disperse them.

What ensued was a burst of violence unlike any seen in the shadow of the White House in generations. As he prepared for his surprise march to the church, Mr. Trump first went before cameras in the Rose Garden to declare himself “your president of law and order” but also “an ally of all peaceful protesters,” even as peaceful protesters just a block away and clergy members on the church patio were routed by smoke and flash grenades and some form of chemical spray deployed by shield-bearing riot officers and mounted police.

After a day in which he berated “weak” governors and lectured them to “dominate” the demonstrators, the president emerged from the White House, followed by a phalanx of aides and Secret Service agents as he made his way to the church, where he posed stern-faced, holding up a Bible that his daughter pulled out of her $1,540 MaxMara bag. The resulting photographs of Mr. Trump striding purposefully across the square satisfied his long-held desire to project strength, images that members of his re-election campaign team quickly began recirculating and pinning to their Twitter home pages once he was safely back in the fortified White House.

[From The NY Times]

Everyone was saying “oh, Ivanka is responsible for this” or “Hope Hicks will get thrown under the bus for this.” While Hope and Ivanka absolutely had a hand in it, let’s be clear: Trump WANTS to be a tin-pot dictator. He wanted this. His political instincts are to hide in bunkers and then tear-gas peaceful protesters and CLERGY for an authoritarian photo-op. Also, the detail about Ivanka’s handbag… *chef’s kiss*

Embed from Getty Images

One last thing to haunt our nightmares:

Photos courtesy of Getty, Backgrid and Avalon Red.

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69 Responses to “Bunker Baby Donald Trump claims he only went to the White House bunker to ‘inspect’ it”

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  1. Léna says:

    He’s just so fragile lol

    • phaedra7 says:

      No!, Widdle-baby (with teeny-tiny hands) was scurred! 😂 😈

      • I understand he is a pathological liar, but when you are a public figure with every word recorded wouldn’t you at some point start to watch what you say? Even small children eventually learn all liars get caught!

      • LaraW" says:

        He’s not a liar – he’s a narcissist. There’s a difference. Truth is not an independent entity for him. In his mind, whatever he says is the Truth, because HE is saying it.

        The corollary to this is that anyone who contradicts him is a liar. People have often wondered how he manages to keep a logically consistent worldview given all the lies he’s told. Well, it’s because he’s told no lies. Every single thing that has come out of his mouth is the truth.

        There’s a joke in math- If 1=0, then 2+2=5.

  2. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    Orange Mussolini really, really wants to bring out the troops, doesn’t he? It would give him so much satisfaction to see Tianenmen Square II. He takes the protests as a personal insult: lacking any kind of intellect, depth or cognitive faculty – as well as being a wholesale narcissist – he simply can’t understand why people of colour have had ENOUGH. I’m very afraid that if he remains unchecked, that is exactly what will happen.

    • Frenda says:

      Well said! Orange Mussonlini😂

    • Siul says:

      Got it right on the dot!!

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      This is because Trump was humiliated when the whole world found out he hid in a bunker, like the coward he is. So to detract from his cowardice and humiliation, he is being even more vicious than usual. “Bunker B!tch” is lashing out because people laughed at his cowardice.

      • NatureLover says:

        @Mrs. Crabapple, yes. He was furious to find out that people became aware that he was hiding as the coward he is. It’s another day and another spew of lies as long as my arm. Hell, my hands are bigger than his. And yes, Melania looks grotesque, almost like a Frankenstein project. Though, Drumpf is utterly disgusting from head to toe! You know she can’t stand to be near him.

    • Holly hobby says:

      The fact that his children condone this instead of getting him medical treatment is appalling. Who’s pulling the puppet strings here?

  3. Onerous says:

    So… Ivanka carries around a Christian Bible? I believe it, but how weird is that as an observant Jewish person!?

    • Lightpurple says:

      No. They own a nearby hotel. It was likely summoned for the occasion.

      • Onerous says:

        Ah, good point. I mean… there are probably some in the White House, too, right?

      • Larelyn says:

        Eh, usually the Gideons are the ones who leave bibles in hotels, and they certainly aren’t worth $1300 each. You think the hotel keeps an expensive one on hand for dignitaries?

      • Jerusha says:

        It was the purse that cost $1540. The Bible is worthless to all the trumps. Surprised it didn’t burst into flames.

      • Mac says:

        It’s from the White House collection or the Library of Congress. The media needs to leave MaxMara out of this mess.

    • minx says:

      Nagini looks like an alien in that picture, I love it. She is not aging well despite all the surgery.

      • Christin says:

        One can only fight genetics to a certain point.

        And she is her father’s daughter, no doubt.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        she’s really not an attractive woman, despite the facade of blond hair/blue eyes/tall&slim bod. like, at first glance, a person would think “wow, stunner” but after a more thorough “examination” of her face, you can see how WEIRD her features are.

      • minx says:

        I think she has brown eyes, wears greenish contacts sometimes. And yes she has really weird features.

      • Mel M says:

        Including her chin implant so she looks only slightly less like her monster father.

      • Lightpurple says:

        Her mother has had a ton of work and none of it aged well. She is beginning to look more and more like her mother every day. Whatever she has had done to her lips went wrong in a procedure she had a year ago and the upper lip on the right side pulls in a very strange way. It looked like she tried to have it fixed at some point but it just made it look swollen with a staple in it. She wears gallons of makeup and very heavy false eyelashes. Her breast implants are disproportionate to her frame, and they have dropped, which contributes to making her neck look strangely long.

        She also has hideous taste. But aside from all that. She is extremely ugly inside.

      • minx says:

        Yes, the bottom half of her face looks different and not in a good way. And she should never have gotten those huge implants, big mistake.

      • The Recluse says:

        It does not help that all that inner ugly is coming to the surface.
        Although she looks a little disturbed in that photo…perhaps she knew that this was going to blow up in their faces and she is forever trying to angle herself as the liberal, rational one. Don’t forget…she and Jared have eyes on the White House for themselves. Noel Casler has said that again and again.

      • Jenn says:

        Ugh, she was SUCH a pretty teen, though. She had such an unusual combination of features. I’ve never been able to figure out what work she’s had done, but I’m not a fan of it.

  4. Lightpurple says:

    Meanwhile Nancy, Speaker of the House, Goddess of Shade, wearing a mask and high heels, went for a stroll in the park yesterday with just an aide and her security detail, greeting, chatting with protesters, and waving at people.

    More security fencing is going up around the White House today; Mexico isn’t paying for it.

    Retired military leaders are coming out against the attack and current leaders in the Air Force are expressing reluctance. There have been resignations.

    This morning, the orange one is retweeting racist rubbish from White Supremacist Charlie Kirk.

    • KellyRyan says:

      Mexico isn’t paying for it. :) Drumpf promised a wall between US and Mexico by December of this year. Do they still own the hotel? Drumpf, always in search of money to cover his poor business acumen had it listed for sale.

    • Ann says:

      “More security fencing is going up around the White House today; Mexico isn’t paying for it.”


    • Sean says:

      “Meanwhile Nancy, Speaker of the House, Goddess of Shade” has yet to make a move against Bill Barr who’s lied to Congress and ordered the protesters be teargassed.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        “yet” being the key word there. have faith, she may be gathering info and evidence to make a formal charge.

  5. OriginalLala says:

    I know there are more important things to say but, those pictures of him looking at the bible like he’s never seen a book up close before..just wow.

  6. Lmao24 says:

    White supremacist coward who is surrounded by secret service agents and refuses to step outside without military reinforcements has the audacity to condemn black people for protesting when they are being systematically murdered every day.

  7. JanetDR says:

    Wait, what is happening? Did he spill gravy on his red tie?

  8. Jerusha says:

    Still eagerly waiting.💃🏻⚰️

  9. Mia4s says:

    Not sure which twitter user gets credit for this (I’ve seen it a lot):

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To take a photo in front of St.John’s Episcopal Church.

  10. Jerusha says:

    Does he lumber in to Men’s Big & Tall and pull suits off the rack without trying them on? Just wondering.

    • minx says:

      For a supposedly wealthy guy he always dresses horribly— huge baggy pants, long clown tie, enormous jacket.

    • Christin says:

      Some tailoring would help that ill-fitted look.

      Maybe he doesn’t want a tailor to know his measurements?

    • whatWHAT? says:

      I think that HE thinks that the baggy suits make him look thinner…and he’s apparently on record telling someone that a longer tie makes you look taller.

      both the suit and tie have the OPPOSITE effect on him though. the ill fitting suits make him look tubby and the tie does, in fact, make him look clownish.

      even if you’re heavy, you can wear “fitted”, it just has to be tailored properly. and I’m guessing Christian has it right. he doesn’t want anyone knowing his measurements.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      The ill fitting suits are designed to hide how obese he really is and to hide the adult diapers. Its long been rumoured that he’s incontinent.

  11. shanaynay says:

    Does this big baby Huey even know how tell the truth??? Every word out of his mouth is a friggen lie!

  12. Ann says:

    People got gassed because this psycho thought he looked bad for less than half of a news cycle. And his approval ratings haven’t changed much. That deranged stunt has seemed to shift things quite a bit, but not enough. Attacking teenagers and nuns with chemical weapons is not enough.

  13. Veronica S. says:

    He’s such a pathetic coward lol.

    Don’t kid yourselves, though – the real point of that photo op wasn’t the Bible or the church, though that certainly plays into the prophet status his more unhinged evangelical supporters, it was the violence. They wanted us to see them attacking those supporters. It’s a show of force, a threat to everybody about what they could and will do if given the opportunity.

    • Purplehazeforever says:

      He was mad about the headlines all weekend that he hid in the bunker. He wanted a different headline of law & order, of strength. So this is what he did.

    • Darla says:

      Yes, but it didn’t work did it? It backfired. Those protesters weren’t impressed, but others at home were, and got so mad, the protests increased. And this Saturday in DC? Is going to be off the charts.

      Maybe “dominating” human beings isn’t so easy?

      • Veronica S. says:

        For a given value of backfired, to be honest. A third of the country still supports him despite all of this, and those are scary numbers when you think about the historical context of administrations like his. These protests are entirely justified, but I know Miller and Barr are jerking themselves off in excitement over this, just waiting for the right trigger to go full military suppression. Trump may be an idiot, but they know exactly how to advantage civil discord and fear to create dictators. We may be singing a different tune if they start trading out those rubber bullets for real ones.

    • Lightpurple says:

      That’s why it was timed that way. As he was making his speech about dominance, all the networks were running it as a split screen with the protesters being gassed and beaten and trampled on the other.

  14. Feedmechips says:

    1. I first read “chickenhawk” as “chicken head.”

    2. How many times has Kim Jong Un been photographed “inspecting” things? I guess Donny Dumbass was taking a page out of his book.

  15. BUBS says:

    I’ve found that those who try hard to put up an aura of machismo are really the ones who scare easily. Trump had to go inspect something in the bunker and had to take Melania and Barron along for the inspection too? Lol. This man-child is a joke!

    • Lightpurple says:

      Melania and Barron are not at the White House. They live in Maryland with her parents near his school.

  16. Ladyjax says:

    That last photo with Frump and Melania staring down the crucifix is so telling. There wasn’t reverence on their faces; those are looks of hatred. This literally looks like two sides squaring off for a fight.

    • Jerusha says:

      melanie is wondering if the future payoff is worth it.

      • Ladyjax says:

        @jerusha, she knows it’s not. She *hates* being first lady. She hates that she’s chained to his side for this presidency. She wanted to have a child with a wealthy husband and then be free to live her life as she pleased. Being expected to “work” (even if that work consisted of Nazi photo recreations) was certainly not in her original contract.

        What’s the over/under on her divorcing him once he’s out of office? How long do y’all think it’ll take?

      • Christin says:

        I would guess the split/divorce will become public as soon as his next paramour is revealed. And as bizarre as it seems, I think there will be another, younger model willing to sign a contract before all the walls close in.

        If prison happens, he’ll have women writing him “beautiful” letters. For that, I imagine some of the rough-looking women who have been photographed with arrows pointing to their private regions (inviting his grab).

      • Isadora says:

        Twitler’s birthday is coming up. Maybe Melania’s fantastic present would be handing him the divorce papers.

    • Lightpurple says:

      There was so much wrong with that picture, including the fact that the picture exists.

    • KHL says:

      And they are looking at the BACK of the crucifix FFS.

  17. 10KTurtle says:

    How is he supposed to do his Nazi rally in Maine tomorrow if he’s so scared he has to extra-fortify the most fortified house in America and bomb people out of his way to walk across the street?

  18. Ferdinand says:

    Speaking of orangy, yesterday afternoon he was trending on twitter because of a pic of…. let’s say this as Stormy Daniels said, his Toad Mario Kart character.

    I saw it out of curiosity and I was wondering if the pic was real or not. I think not. But you never know. I had nightmares after I had a laugh.

  19. lucy2 says:

    Inspecting?!?!? Hahaha!
    I kept wondering which political genius came up with the brilliant scheme to walk to a church and awkwardly hold a Bible and stand there like an idiot. Ivanka! Of course. We all know that “fashion designers” make the best political strategists, right?

  20. Charfromdarock says:

    How, how, how are there people who still believe a word that comes out of his mouth?

  21. Joanna says:


  22. LuluLimau says:

    This orange POS should remain in the bunker and get locked in instead. Deplorable human being.

  23. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    He is the only president who has worked to DIVIDE the nation. The only president who strives for discord, creating factions and pockets of violence. He is NOT an American president. He’s a bad joke and a stain. He’s a black hole creating a vortex of destruction in his wake. He will be remembered, but it’ll be a nightmare the masses strive to forget.