FF: Prince Harry didn’t want his home filled with staff like William’s home

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry visit Brighton

As I read more and more excerpts from Finding Freedom, I’m struck by a larger counter-narrative: Prince Harry is very opinionated and organized and he knows his own mind. This runs counter to the British press’s convenient talking point that Harry was and is weak, that Meghan controls him, that Meghan is so opinionated and Harry just goes along with what she wants. More often than not, Harry was the one driving their decisions as a couple and then as a family. It seemed like Harry was the one who wanted to move to Windsor, and he was the one who wanted physical and psychological distance from William and Kate. It also feels like Harry had very specific ideas about what their home life should be like, especially after they welcomed Archie. FF has a section where they talk about the first months after Archie was born, and how Harry didn’t want a house full of live-in staff, like he had seen with the Cambridges.

Although Harry and Meghan had initially chosen to forgo a full-time nanny, Doria had just flown back to LA, and so they decided to hire a night nurse to establish a sleep schedule and be an extra pair of helping hands. But their time with the couple was brief. Meghan and Harry were forced to let the nurse go in the middle of her second night of work for being unprofessional and irresponsible.

The new parents went on to hire a second night nurse, who did a fine job, but because of the incident with the first nurse, neither found themselves comfortable sleeping through the night without going to check on Archie regularly. After a few weeks, they decided to take on the nights themselves and went without a night nurse entirely. Instead, they hired a nanny to work weekdays. The nanny joined Harry and Meghan’s Frogmore staff, which consisted of an assistant and a housekeeper, neither of whom were live-in.

Harry and Meghan had agreed they didn’t want their home filled with staff. Harry had seen that situation at William’s home (the Cambridges had a live-in housekeeper and a full-time, live-in nanny), and didn’t want the same for his own family. He and Meghan liked the idea that when they went to bed at night, it was just the three of them in the house. Cozy and private.

In the mornings, Harry usually made his own coffee. When they had meetings at the large kitchen table with staff members, it was often Meghan who made a pot of tea and put chocolates or energy balls on a plate for nibbling.

[From Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan, and the Making of a Modern Royal Family]

One of the consistently funny things about the Cambridges is that they tried for years to make it sound like they didn’t have any household staff and barely had any office staff. It was this completely bizarre “normal” cosplay. Anyway, yes, of course Will and Kate have live-in staff at Anmer Hall and Kensington Palace. That’s how Harry grew up too, surrounded by staff. It must have been so novel to him, this idea that he and Meghan and Archie could go to sleep in the same house without anyone else around.

I don’t even want to speculate about what happened with the first night nurse. I also feel like it would not have been the end of the world if they wanted a part-time cook!

Prince Harry and Meghan Duchess of Sussex visit to Sussex

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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50 Responses to “FF: Prince Harry didn’t want his home filled with staff like William’s home”

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  1. Snuffles says:

    I’m horrified at what the fuck the night nurse did that was SO bad that she was fired in the middle of the night.

    • jbyrdku says:

      I’m super curious about that too.

    • Noki says:

      I was going to say maybe she was trying to take pictures of him,but such high profile people must be very strict with such devices in their homes. Maybe the night nurse fell asleep.

    • Edna says:

      Yeah, whatever it was must have been awful. So now let’s see how long it takes a British tabloid to track down this night nurse and try to bribe her to tell what happened. Hope the NDA is iron clad.

    • BayTampaBay says:

      Texting to the tabloids?

    • LidiaJara says:

      I don’t know, it might have not been super crazy and just been that she slept through the night and slept through a feeding. I have friends who are nighttime caregivers for adults and it’s a huge issue. Because staying awake is your *one job*, but staying awake is hard.

      • Becks1 says:

        Scobie gave an interview and off the record told the reporter what it was, and the reporter said “I would have fired her too.” So I don’t think it was as “simple” as falling asleep.

    • Peanutbuttr says:

      The first thought that came into my mind was that Downton Abbey episode where Cora overheard the nanny calling Sibyl and Bransons daughter a half breed (Branson was the Irish chauffeur) and fired her on the spot.

      • Princess Peach says:

        I have an acquaintance whose night nurse fell asleep and dropped the baby who ended up badly injured. Very scary stuff. But I’m glad whatever it was Archie was ok!

    • Nic919 says:

      There are rumblings that the nurse took photos of Archie, but nothing confirmed.

      • HeyJude says:

        That was my first thought, photos. Either of the baby or the home. Even if it was just to text to her friends or something. Photos would be a issue.

    • FashionMaven says:

      We had speculated a while ago that the nurse did something horribly bad and got fired because of that – not because Meghan was “difficult”. Of course we were right.

      I wonder if the nurse was being abusive to Archie in some way?

  2. Anna says:

    what about bodyguards? I do hope they stay with them at the house?

    • HeatherC says:

      They may rotate in shifts and don’t live-in.

    • Steph says:

      Do the body guards usually stay in the house? That seems… creepy. But if that’s the case, H is used to it I guess.

    • AMM says:

      I think they stay outside the house for their shift. Like a security guard at any other establishment. They leave after 8-12 hours and go home, someone replaces them. They will do perimeter checks and routinely patrol the area around the home.

    • Becks1 says:

      My guess is at places like Windsor and KP the bodyguards don’t stay there bc the grounds are under constant surveillance anyway, especially if the queen is in residence at Windsor. Someone may check their house a few times a day or something, but I’m sure a lot of the security comes from perimeter checks, or guards tracking security cameras.

      We should ask those guys on Twitter about it lol

  3. Steph says:

    Do night nurses do the feedings to?

    • Anna says:

      Yes, if you use formula or pump.
      Nurse may also just bring the kid tyou to breastfeed.

    • MsIam says:

      If the mom pumps they might. Or they may just bring the baby in and then change them and put the baby back in bed so the mom can get some rest.

    • AMM says:

      They can. My anxious ass would’ve had a night nurse if I could afford it, solely to stay awake and check to make sure baby’s still breathing throughout the night. I’d do feedings myself, but that set of eyes on them at night would’ve allowed me to sleep so much better between feedings. I was so terrified of SIDS as a new mother.

  4. VS says:

    Fluffy comment : I still love that Hugo Boss skirt; I bought 2 of them when I saw her with it! LOL

    Meghan is strong and smart; I do think H can be quite headstrong……what’s even wrong with that?
    the way i see people talk it is as if a man shouldn’t listen to his wife….they are partners; did I saw the woman was smart! all their brains put together do not equal hers

    • BayTampaBay says:

      ” I still love that Hugo Boss skirt”

      How did it fit? I need to know as it is very expensive to alter leather if possible at all.

    • original penguin says:

      I think this is one of her best looks, but I think its the shirt and the colour I like. She should wear green all the time – its my favourite colour on her.

      • BabsORIG says:

        My fav was the maroon top and wine color leather skirt, she looked so terrifically amazing in that outfit. It’s the one she wore when she invited her hubby to some meeting where hubby had not been invited. Duchess apologized for her hubby crashing the meeting.

      • Jenn says:

        You’re right, she looks great in sumptuous jewel tones

  5. STRIPE says:

    Here’s my thing: Do you not want a full household staff? Great! Live the “simple” life and save your money.

    Do you want all the help you can get and can afford it? Great! Hire everyone and give people jobs.

    Do whatever works for you and your family. Just be honest about it. I agree that Will and Kate being coy about it was weird.

    • Becks1 says:

      Exactly. I don’t care that william and Kate have household staff. I mean I would have a housekeeper if I could afford it lol. But it’s the insistence that they are so hands on, such a normal family, etc.

      (Although at the same time William probably has a different idea of “normal” than most of us).

      • BayTampaBay says:

        I am sure Kate is very hands on but I doubt she function without professional help or Carole Middleton about.

        This is not a criticism as I have three friends that have this same problem.

      • Nic919 says:

        They also used the “hands on” reason as to why neither, but especially Kate, couldn’t do a full time slate of engagements. They still don’t actually.

      • fluffy_bunny says:

        I thought William doesn’t spend much time with his family so how “hands on” can he be?

    • MarcelMarcel says:

      I still love that skirt, it suits her so well. It’s so elegant & subtly luxurious. I just adore a well tailored leather pencil skirt.

      And agreed. I found it gross how Harry was so infantilised in the press that him respecting his wife’s opinion was presented as a flaw.

    • Queen Meghan’s Hand says:

      Especially weird since Kate and her mother get slapped down all the time by the Turnip Toffs for being middle-class social climbers. I think it’s William’s fetish to be seen by us plebs as “normal”.

    • A says:

      Precisely. I don’t think anyone would have begrudged Will and Kate any type of staff at all. What’s irksome is their just-like-you Little Englander middle-class cosplay that annoyed people. They refused to own up to the staff they had. People had written a bunch of fluff pieces about how Kate was such a hands-on mum and wife and hostess, who is comfortable in the kitchen and can whip up meals and how the lack of staff makes everything so much more relaxed and cozy in their Anmer Hall cottage with ten rooms etc. It’s the disingenuousness behind the image they want to present that was the problem.

  6. Royalpurple says:

    My guess is that the nurse fell asleep and didn’t bring Archie for a feeding. If Meghan was breastfeeding, the pressure in her chest from the missed feed might have woken her up (she might have woken up anyway — I woke up nonstop worried about my newborn). She sees the time, justifiably flips out, and fires the nurse. Same scenario if Harry wakes up first and sees the time. He justifiably flips out and fires the nurse.

    • original penguin says:

      I can’t see this happening at the level they’re working at, the nurse must have been trained to a certain standard. I think much more likely, the nurse was gossiping on her phone and got caught.

  7. Neesee says:

    There’s a reason why they refuse to use the royal doctors and bring Archie back to the UK!!

  8. Abena Asantewaa says:

    I think it’s something to do with photos and the tabloids. A mother’s instinct , is most of the time right. It was good she was fired. Mummy knows best.

  9. Liz version 700 says:

    Kaiser I get the same vibe. This book should have been titled “If I read one more RR story about how dull and stupid and misled I am there will be hell to pay.” Harry wants the world to know he isn’t stupid, he isn’t under a spell and he knows what he is doing. He also knows what he wants and it isn’t to be William’s sidekick.

  10. Thirtynine says:

    I’m glad they were awake and checking and caught the nanny up to whatever it was, if i t was that bad. Don’t take any risks with Archie.

  11. Blerg says:

    When the press is pushing its “Harry is henpecked” narrative, sometimes I think they forget we know about Harry’s military service. Harry spent a lot of time out amongst the people, and I think he caught a vision for what a less cosseted life could be for him if he pursued it. And I think he’s pursuing it. I think even if he hadn’t met Meghan, he’d be pursuing it. I’m sure she gave him courage—it’s always better to have a partner is change—but I think he was already courageous, and has his own oomph. I don’t think either he or Meghan is perfect, and some of their choices bug me, but it absolutely infuriates me that the anti-Sussex journalists will not admit the possibility of an equal and healthy partnership between the Sussexes. Hugely racist and classist.

  12. Sara says:

    Energy balls.

    • Where'sMyTiara says:

      Energy. Balls. Two things that Willnot and Cannot don’t have. Craven, underhanded people.

  13. Mumbles says:

    I gotta say I’m surprised that W&K only have two live-in staff. I would have guessed they have more than one nanny. But I bet they have a lot of people who work for them that don’t live in the house. And on that note, a *live-in* housekeeper? Geez.

    • Travelin says:

      I think they have four nannies. One for each kid and nanny Maria to oversee them all. They probably also had a night nurse as well when the kids were younger.

      I’m not against help either. If you can afford it then great! The problem is that they keep trying to push a different narrative.

  14. emmy says:

    As someone who has never had any help in their household, it makes me laugh that it’s worth mentioning that he makes his own coffee and she makes tea. I just… some of this is veering towards ridiculous.

    • Vanessa says:

      It’s because the narrative around Meghan from the beginning from the press has been that she demanding diva who yells at staff . When that not true at all . Meghan and Harry seems to the only two royals who aren’t stuck up as much as the British tabloids wanted people to believe they have set this narrative that Meghan and Harry are so Hollywood their uppity especially Meghan . While the couple who have cosplay being normal have multiple nannies live in maid while living in a mansion pretending to be normal for their images.

      • A says:

        It was so bizarre how they constructed the image of her being a diva too. It was done on the basis of her “five am emails.” The stories themselves were just ridiculously stupid as a whole, it wasn’t even anything interesting or juicy, like the time the Countess of Wessex was photographed yelling at one of her employees.