The Lake Travis ‘Trump Boat Parade’ ended in disaster, sunken vessels

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For months now, various dumbasses have been organizing these “Trump Boat Parades” around the country. In August, there was some kind of Boat Parade in New York, with idiots on jet skis and smaller water crafts around the Statue of Liberty. On Saturday, MAGA dipsh-ts decided to organize a Trump Boat Parade on Lake Travis in Texas. It… did not go well. A blue wave took down MAGA boats and Poseiden raised himself out of the water to fight Nazis. Just know: no one died, so it’s okay to laugh about all of this.

The authorities rescued numerous people from the waters of Lake Travis in Texas on Saturday after at least four boats sank at an event promoted as a Trump Boat Parade, officials said. The Sheriff’s Office in Travis County received “multiple” calls of boats in distress starting at 12:15 p.m. local time, a spokeswoman, Kristen Dark, said. Christa Stedman, a spokeswoman for Austin-Travis County Emergency Medical Services, said no injuries had been reported.

Firefighters pulled “numerous” people out of the water, said Braden Frame, president of the Lake Travis Fire Fighters Association. It was not clear how many had needed rescuing, he said. The number of boats participating in the gathering was not immediately clear. Ms. Dark said there were “too many variables” to say for sure what exactly happened.

“We had an exceptional number of boats on the lake today,” she said. “When they all started moving at the same time, it generated significant waves.”

With winds around 10 miles an hour, and gusting to as much as 15 m.p.h., the weather conditions in and around the lake most likely would not have caused the boats to sink, Aaron Treadway, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in the Austin/San Antonio office, said. Mr. Frame praised the work of emergency responders, noting that the rescuers had faced “significant challenges due to the amount of waves and chop on the water today.”

[From The NY Times]

These absolute morons were too stupid to operate the boats they bought for their Nazi leader’s boat parade. While no one drowned, I would be interested in knowing if any of these dumbf–ks can walk and chew gum at the same time. Anyway, the best part of this story was all of the joking and memeing!!

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102 Responses to “The Lake Travis ‘Trump Boat Parade’ ended in disaster, sunken vessels”

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  1. Libellule says:

    OMG “USS Thoughts and Prayers” ❤

  2. STRIPE says:

    Why are we focusing on this? ALL BOATS MATTER!!!

    Bahaha haha

    I love this so much.

  3. Silver Charm says:

    These dumb idiots rarely bring the rest of us such joy so I’m enjoying this immensely.

  4. Levans says:

    The blue wave came early!

    I cackled at the meme with a woman on a sinking trump boat saying help us and the patroller boat response was #allboatsmatter

    These people are the worst and I’m glad that their boats sank (and no one died…cause liberals aren’t as callous)

    • Tursitops says:

      Could a boater comment on whether the sunken boats can be salvaged? Will they be good to go once dried out, so to speak? Or are they permanently damaged, like Humpty Drumpfty’s reputation?

  5. lemonylips says:

    Funny that out of all of the Gods, Poseidon, who was similar to Trump, would be called a hero.

  6. Jane says:

    I genuinely don’t understand how Trump still has the support of the extremely religious – since he’s been president there have been a series of biblical apocalyptic events (flooding, fires, hurricanes, tornadoes, even a plague, ffs). And now his boat parade has met with watery disaster. How can these people, who supposedly believe in both their Old and New Testaments, and an all-powerful, active, and engaged deity, not look at this and interpret it all as signs of divine displeasure aimed at them?

    • LaUnicaAngelina says:

      I was thinking the same thing! If this isn’t a sign from God… 😂🌊

    • Marjorie says:

      They think it’s the Revelation and they’re going to float up to white heaven for eternity.

    • Cassandra says:

      The religious supporters of Trump are hypocrites plain and simple. They want their Supreme Court judges to overturn Roe v Wade and they want white people to stay in a position of power. As long as they get that they don’t give a flying f***.

      The book White Too Long that came out last month is an excellent read, and as someone who grew up in the Bible Belt (about 45 minutes from that church where they handle rattle snakes 😬) it resonates as very accurate.

    • Courtney B says:

      They probably think it’s heralding the End Times and the Rapture. Same as their support for Israel which needs to exist to be destroyed to bring it about.

    • Lizzieb says:

      Actually many things in the world needed our prayers. There are wildfires and record heat waves. Hurricanes. Many earthquakes this weekend. Many people facing challenges and persecution. The fact that a few people lost some boats…meh. I do appreciate the humour that the big boats caused the waves swamping the small boats…That sounds true to life.

  7. fifee says:

    We have a wee saying here in at least the West of Scotland and I can hear my mother saying it right now (she’s been dead 17 years) … “Hell slap it intae ye” simply meaning serves you right for doing something so stupid and in this case its see what happens when you support Trump.

    • Lara says:

      My Irish mother in law often says ‘slap it up ya’ when something goes wrong for people she doesn’t like! It’s now one of my favourite sayings.

    • Nina says:

      I saw a sign on a club the other day: “Hey Ma, remember when you said you’d slap me into next year? is that still on the table?”
      More on-topic, they had one of those stupid boat rallies in a river near me and they churned up so much wake [in no-wake zones, of course] that we almost had a collision at the dock just trying to get gas. So obnoxious.

  8. Merricat says:

    I guess the “I’ll protect you from the virus” God is different from the “I’ll protect your watercraft from sinking” God.

  9. My3cents says:

    Mother Nature is one Nasty Woman.
    Love this.

  10. Sarah says:

    Don’t know if the link will get posted but this guy crying over the sinking of his boat the magaritaville was my favourite tweet.

  11. Jerusha says:

    It’s my understanding that the very large boats owned by the very rich caused the large waves that sank the smaller boats owned by the not rich. Which seems fitting, given how that plays out on dry land.

  12. Chickaletta says:

    What is wild to me about this is when my local news posted about this on Facebook, Trump supporters *flooded* (haha) the comments calling it fake news, liberal biased media, etc etc. Like, reporting on Trump supporters sinking some boats is a personal attack on the president? I’m baffled.

    • Esmom says:

      Their defensiveness is something to behold, isn’t it? Also, that slogan “Make Liberals Cry Again” is enraging and depressing beyond belief. It shows how petty and ignorant some people are, while some of us are genuinely terrified about the future that awaits the next generation. Public service, public policy, none of it matters to them. They truly don’t give a f*ck.

      • Suz says:

        Exactly. This shows that they’re not voting for their own interests or the good of the country or even the good of their own children and grandchildren. They’re doing it out of spite and misplaced hatred. What a dark time this is.

  13. Sayrah says:

    I don’t really care, do you?

  14. Jay says:

    “Dumbkirk” made me spit out my coffee most unceremoniously. Happy labour day weekend all!

  15. Hollah says:

    Poseidon for Biden. Yuge endorsement.

  16. AnnaKist says:

    Ahh, some hilarity at last. It’s a mystery why Hillary, Obama or Biden haven’t been blamed for those nasty, bigly, blue waves.

  17. Betty says:

    Wasting away again in MAGAritaville 😂

  18. Insomniac says:

    I laughed myself silly about this on Saturday night, and two days later it is STILL funny. All aboard the S.S. Metaphor!

  19. Veronica S. says:

    “Microscopic chance it wasn’t terrorism.” This knuckledragging idiot lol. It’s incredibly easy to sink a boat in the right conditions, especially when they’re small craft. Imagine thinking the world cares that much about you.

    For the record, they think it was the owners of the larger boats not maintaining proper speed in such crowded waves. It kicked up large currents and wakes at the expense of the smaller vessels. I’m sure the metaphor is lost on them.

  20. Suz says:

    Maybe it wasn’t Poseidon but rather the spirit of the brave soldiers who died serving their country whom Dump called suckers and losers. F*ck him. And this clearly shows that any nazi who still supports him is a f*cking idiot.

  21. Ferdinand says:

    “ We had an exceptional number of boats on the lake today,” that’s all Trump is going to see and care about.

    “Exceptional number of boats, like never before. Great number of boats. Huge number of boats”.

  22. Liz version 700 says:

    Dumbkirk has made my weekend. I needed a laugh and this never stops giving :) . The battle is long, the war has taken so much from us. God bless the blue wave victory from secret agents physics and structural engineering who gave the Trump navy hell

  23. Doodle says:

    This is my hood and I actually know some of the dumb idiots who were out there. Just to be clear – a lot of the boats had preexisting conditions so the sinkings won’t be counted.

    You should see the spin on my Facebook – oh these guys were renting their boats and not part of the parade, they were out of towners and just wanted to rent and go on the lake (because going on the lake during a pandemic with a bunch of maskless white folk screaming is so enticing, right?). Tots and pears, people. Tots and pears.

    • Liz version 700 says:

      Tots and pears lol hahahahaha

    • MerlinsMom1018 says:

      @ Doodle
      My cousin was out there on one of those boats. 🙄
      She was so proud to be with “such good people”
      I checked to make sure she was okay then proceeded to troll her so hard, she wound up crying and blocking me.
      I believe my job here is done *dusts off hands*

      • Tursitops says:

        Wait – what? She *cried* because you mocked her for doing something incredibly unsafe that made her look dumb? So, how does she think that people who have been unjustly shot (or their families) feel? Maybe honest immigrants who have been described as criminals or kept in cages might be a tad upset? Tell me again how someone who fully committed to her own situation is weeping about being called an unflattering name.

      • MerlinsMom1018 says:

        Yep broke down bawling like a baby. I was just being “so mean”.
        Oh and I ragged her hard about her choices. I also warned her in no uncertain terms to stay away from my 83 year old mother, if I even got a whiff that she tried/tries to see her I will come for her (properly masked) and bring hell with me. I also spoke to my Mom who was unaware that one of her favorite nieces was an ” idiot”
        (Mom’s words)
        She thinks all the above you mentioned is “fake news”
        I could go on but we both know how this story goes

  24. Lindy says:

    Austinite here and this was the highlight of our weekend. My absolute favorite meme was a fake Wikipedia entry on the Battle of Lake Travis, with details on the aggressors (lots of boats) and the brave defenders who defeated them: 369 million gallons of water. Hahahahahahahaha

    • Liz version 700 says:

      Omg after so much snowflake nastiness from the Trumpers each of these comments is giving me life. 369 million gallons of water hahaha

    • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

      And each gallon should be knighted. Sir H2O of the Battle on Travis Lake.

  25. MsIam says:

    Losers. And let’s hope the losing continues all the way to November.

  26. Lady Luna says:

    The guy claiming this was done my terrorists. Wow smh!

  27. Justme87 says:

    What a bunch of WAPs

  28. Sarah says:

    Thank you Kaiser for putting this together (and collecting the tweets) and fellow commenters, this has made my day. Having had a terrible family bereavement yesterday on top of the horror show that is 2020 (and I’m British, just feeling your political pain for the last four years) the combination of amazing humour and astute observations has given me some much needed levity. Thank you all. #teamcelebitchy

    • Christin says:

      I am sorry for your pain and loss.

      How people can idolize any politician to this degree puzzles me. It’s scary, yet so completely nonsensical that it is also comedic. We can only hope that this particular boat event is foreshadowing November.

      • Sarah says:

        Thank you, you’re very kind and I agree. It’s terrifying. I’m really hoping that the final picture of the sunken boat becomes reality in November. The election is on my birthday and I feel I deserve something good this year.

    • Dilettante says:

      Yes! #teamcelebitchy!

    • Liz version 700 says:

      I’m sorry for your loss.

  29. Lucy2 says:

    Hahaha! This made my day. And the pubs and jokes are glorious.

    There’s been a small group of boaters around here doing this, and they arranged a big thing that was supposed to have several thousand this weekend, and had a much much smaller amount.

    • Christin says:

      There was one on a local lake that maybe drew a dozen boats flying their flags of idolatry. And this is a solidly red area.

      One woman interviewed during the Travis event claimed Orange supporters are the “silent majority”, which is apparently one of their new talking points. I personally think they are the “vocal minority”, amplified by online bots.

  30. nicegirl says:

    This is making me so happy !

    Their stupid boat parade sunk a boat in Portland by causing a wake in a no wake zone, like they sunk the boat of a family with children aboard when they pulled this shit here.

    These MAGAts, I cannot even with them

  31. nicegirl says:

    I am in love with my fellow celebitches today!! THESE COMMENTS THO

    We are a kick ass group!! #celebitchesunite

    Blue wave by the celebitches!!!

    • Liz version 700 says:

      You guys really do rock. Thanks for keeping me sane. This is the one place I can go when I need to be reminded there are smart funny people still fighting in this world!

  32. Liz version 700 says:


  33. KellyRyan says:

    Great posts Cele’s. :) Carried several to my Twitter feed.

  34. Leah says:

    When the blue waves were swallowing the trump supporters and their boats I thought to myself “Poseidon must be part of the resistance”.

    Magat’s really have no common sense or boating skills, if they did they’d know to stay away from the larger boats which can create dangerous wakes. Well, Trump got his “Spanish Armada show” after all, on a lake in Texas with a bunch of morons.

  35. Valerie says:

    Mmmm, no life jackets. Are they a hoax, too? ;)

  36. Jayna says:

    That made my day. I needed a good laugh.

    If you have never seen “Jordan Klepper vs. Trump Supporters,” from The Daily Show, it’s on YouTube. He’s interviewing Trump supporters at a Trump rally. It is positively horrifying. More than horrifying. You can’t make up idiot responses like in that video. I mean, one blamed Obama for 9/11, said he was always on vacation, never in the office. It’s jaw-dropping.

    • Valerie says:

      They’re a special brand of stupid. It’s really something. It used to be funny, but it’s more horrifying now. They’re part of a cult–now a death cult.

    • Doodle says:

      I LOVE Jordan Klepper and the Trump idiots!! There are a few videos and they always make me laugh! He’s so smart and quick in his feet.

  37. tiredoldcrazylady says:

    Things I learned from our president – weak losers sink their boats. Not winners.

    Also this situation is a metaphor for so many things we are living through right now.

  38. PixiePaperdoll says:

    This is my favorite meme on the subject –

  39. Tursitops says:

    What do we think it stands for now?

    Maritime A**holery Goes Awry?
    ‘Murican Assembly Gone Awash?
    Maskless A**holes Goof Afloat?

  40. Lilitel says:

    I genuinely laugh hard at that story and the memes that ensued 🤣
    Thanks, I needed that today

  41. Kathryn says:

    Karma. Love the comments here – Trump’s ship is sinking. If you can vote early in person, please do

  42. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Boater suppression. Dumbkirk. It is what it is. Anti-vesters. I don’t really care do you? Grab’em by the port. Such a nasty lake.

    The boats knew what they signed up for.

    If it wasn’t my boat perhaps I’d be dating it.

    “I heard you can breath underwater if you don’t wear a mask.”

    “The wake is a hoax. Who ever got hurt by getting a little wet?”

    “The body has ways of shutting down a legitimate drowning.”

    Needles to say my weekend joy came from reading others’ posts lol.

  43. HatchetFace says:

    I was so upset about sitting in the smoke here in California and not being able to travel to bury my family member who just died of covid. He was a Trump lover, and even though he was retired he still decided to go get out of the house and spend 3 hours putzing around his company’s office. 11 people in the small office were infected and I think 16 days after exposure he died.

    When I saw this article and read the comments I laughed until I cried and I feel so much better. Even when bad things are happening, good things are also happening. Thank you for the comments on this article they completely turned my mood around!

  44. Tursitops says:

    Here’s a little ditty for you, sung to the tune of Rawhide theme

    Trollin’, trollin’, trollin’
    Magats bawlin’ , moanin’
    Water’s overflowin’