Sarah Jessica Parker spent most of this morning running around Manhattan revising her famed role as Carrie Bradshaw. Of course she did this in a possibly mildly see-through dress, but I think it’s just due to the inherent issues with wearing white. No word on whether it was an accidental wardrobe malfunction or part of the plot, but she looked fabulous. Especially in her gold Christian Louboutins.

I’m starting to think Sarah Jessica should seriously consider sticking to Carrie Bradshaw roles, because she’s gotten nothing but heinous reviews for everything else she’s done. And nothing but fabulous reviews for her “Sex &the City” work. This weekend I saw “Julia & Julie” (like the reviewer below) and was forced to endure the trailer for SJP’s next film “Did You Hear About The Morgans” with Hugh Grant. To say it was the most abysmal part of my night is an understatement: and I was wearing really painful shoes that left me with over 11 huge blisters. But I’d gladly suffer another dozen just to have walked out before I had to sit through that awkwardness. Here we go:

Over the weekend a friend and I were forced to sit, “Clockwork Orange”-style, through the painfully unfunny trailer for “Did You Hear About The Morgans” before we could enjoy the butter-soaked fun of “Julie & Julia.” The trailer features Hugh Grant doing what Hugh Grant thinks Hugh Grant does best — playing a yippity man-boy who can’t quite grasp the concept of love — and Sarah Jessica Parker as his humorless wife who’s moments from leaving him when they witness a murder.

Then, as if out of a movie, (oh, wait) the two are shuttled into a Montana-based witness protection program where they inevitably learn about horse riding, small town mentalities and themselves. Bad film aside, there is one major problem that will prevent “Morgans” from being super successful: Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t a movie star. She a square peg in cinema’s round hole. After starring as the small screen’s greatest dater ever, I get why Sarah Jessica thinks romantic comedies are her best bet for big screen success — but it’s a catch-22.

Because Carrie Bradshaw is who most rom-com inclined ladies aspire to be, any character short of her is a failure. And since SJP very intentionally opts for very un-Carrie-like women to play on the big screen, everyone is continually disappointed. Which is assuming audiences show up in the first place, which history says they don’t. Most of her non-“SATC” big screen adventures have been as profitable as they have been entertaining — which is to say, not very. In her 25-year career, only one other film has crossed the million dollar mark (“First Wives Club”) while none of her post-Bradshaw roles have lit the box office on fire.

And while other rom-com staples, like Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl, can push a subpar script past $100 million based almost solely on sex appeal, SJP comes up short. I mean, the website Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse.com offers enough supporting evidence to qualify her for The Breeder’s Cup. Don’t take this as me calling SJP fugly, I’m simply saying that to play the lead in a romantic comedy, an actor must be desirable to the opposite sex. And I’m not sure at this point, Sarah Jessica (or Hugh) is really fitting that mold.

So without the support of straight men, SJP has to rely solely on her single ladies — a demo that spends the entire movie wishing they were watching Carrie Bradshaw. Which is why, although I hate the idea, another “Sex and the City” is the smartest move she can make. Because at the end of the day, Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t a movie star … but Carrie Bradshaw is!

[From the NY Post]

I feel more at peace knowing others feel exactly the same way I do. I see Sarah Jessica in any movie and I want to smack her, I’m so annoyed with her for picking such bad roles. Then I see her in “Sex and the City” and want to be her BFF forever. Yeah I know what I just said. And I mean it. Her aversion to Carrie-type characters really isn’t doing her career any favors. Playing a bunch of cold, shrill women doesn’t endear her to anyone. At one point during the trailer I accidentally laughed when there was a comedic pause obviously meant to force people into an uncomfortable chuckle. Which is exactly what I did in my knee-jerk reaction. I was so mortified I clasped my hands over my mouth as if trying to grab that laugh and shove it back in. I can’t imagine how harshly I was judged for that. I felt cheap and tricked, and really, why would I want to pay $12.50 for that when I can get it for free?

Here’s Sarah Jessica in New York City today. You be the judge on the dress. Oh and the trailer for her film; but I’m warning you, you’re going to be angry. Images thanks to WENN.com and Fame Pictures .