Madonna makes out with shirtless Jesus Luz in new music video

When I first saw the 15 second clip of Madonna’s upcoming single “Celebration” I was sort of impressed. Jesus Luz. Without a shirt. Not bad. Naturally I assumed her record label leaked the clip because they’d get a lot of free Jesus hype. Now I’m thinking they did it because that’s just the only semi-interesting part of the video. I mean it’s all fine. Certainly Madonna doesn’t release sub-par stuff – at least not without someone losing their testicles for it. But it’s just… there. It won’t go down in the books. There are people dancing. Oooh, they’re sped up! Ohhhh, now they’re slowed down. How novel. We’ve already covered Jesus with his shirt off. Lots of jerky dance movements. Little hint of Lourdes near the end. And I think that just about covers it.

Here’s the video of Madonna’s new single ‘Celebration,’ the title track of her upcoming greatest hits album. The material girl shows off her dance moves in thigh-high Louboutin boots and a dress short enough to allow for plenty of gyration and crotch-touching shots.

Around 2:20, Madonna’s boy toy Jesus Luz enters. He is playing a DJ, which is his real-life dream. Madge touches herself some more, realizes she must remove Jesus’ clothes to recognize him, then makes out with him.

Lourdes, Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter, also makes a cameo as a dancer towards the end of the video.

Madonna is currently on her ‘Sticky & Sweet’ tour in Europe, and has made time for visiting Jewish Holy sites with Jesus and speaking out on behalf of the Gypsies.

[From the Huffington Post]

So… yeah, I’m not sure what to say. The video is just so-so to me. There’s no Madonna-esq controversy. There’s nothing fabulous about it. It’s fine. My great grandma has it on her iPod. She’s cool with it. As am I. Couldn’t really offend or interest anyone. I’m sure it’ll occasionally get played in clubs because it has that beat that just screams “I blend well into other songs for 15 second mashups!” And that’s about it.

Maybe I’m off. What do you all think?

New photos from Germany of megastar Madonna in concert in Munich

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

23 Responses to “Madonna makes out with shirtless Jesus Luz in new music video”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Thayer says:

    I like her hair and her look. Other than that…retro disco we’ve already heard this from her, big deal. It’s very gay club friendly. Snore.

  2. yadira says:

    Lourdes looks so cute and so grown up! What a little break dancer

  3. maddie says:

    The music is good, not so the lyrics.

    The video sucks, I can’t believe she signed off on it.

  4. jess says:

    i only made it to 1:30. does anyone still get off thinking about her nappy dugout?

  5. audrey says:

    man, i’m surprised she shared the spotlight w little miss lourdes!

  6. Anna says:

    I watched 20 seconds and then decided that life’s too short. What’s with all the I’ve-got-to-pee moves and the crotch-banging moves? Yucky!Madonna used to be so great, now she’s just trying too hard. I’m not saying it’s her age and she’s too old to perform, but she’s trying too hard to pretend to be 20 and fitting in with her hipster dancers. Look at Tina, she’s 60, sexy and rocking it without pretending she’s 40 years younger.
    Madonna hasn’t bust out a great track since her singles from the Ray of Light album, imo. It just keeps getting worse and more stupid. I can’t take the woman anymore.

  7. Kl says:


  8. Really? says:

    They’ll use the instrumetal and/or any subsequent dubs for mash-ups and hip hop remixes like you said.
    And her dancing reminds me of those Hanes stay put panties (or whatever) commercials with Sarah Chalke.
    Just reach in there and get ’em out for corn’s sake!

  9. Ally says:


    “Really”, your comment made me laugh!

  10. DrM says:

    @Anna couldn’t agree more. Ray of Light was excellent after that its all been crap..starting with that CD with her on the cover dressed as a cowgirl..forget the name…

    I also thought it was pretty bland…

  11. Vermithrax says:

    No way I’m clickin’ play on that mess.

  12. Trillion says:

    Frakin’ Warner Music Group.

  13. Hieronymus Grex says:

    There was a time in the 80’s when the thought of making out with Madonna made me drool. Now it must be like kissing a wet burlap sack.

  14. Catherine says:

    Lourdes looks like she is on her way to being a talented dancer. How many kids can say they were in their Mom’s music video while their mom acts like she is masturbating and humping air? Awesome.

  15. Aussie says:

    Deluded woman, no different to an old tycoon, like Trump, with the latest hot thing. You reckon Jesus’d banging the gristle if she were an ordinary single Mum, with no wealth? Think not!

  16. huriu says:

    Now she really looks like a Madge. All the money most people would be satisfied and she looks like an old maid. What a cougar to boot. I guess they will show up as long as she can foot the bill. Gigolo’s will be gigolo’s.

  17. hey, it's me! says:

    Same ole’ sexy me bs, but different decade. Somehow I hope she keeps doing this when she becomes a senior citizen. It’ll be f’in hysterical!

  18. lway says:

    She’s gross

  19. kim says:

    her knees still show her age . . .

    just can’t go along with her because she is no longer relevant. Her need to be the center is too predictable, hilarious, and boring.

    It’s not a big deal that she’s dating a younger man. You expect it from her. This is why I say she’s so predictable.

    I feel bad for her ego.

  20. RubyKaur says:

    She is sporting camel toe – BARF!

  21. Guest says:

    reminiscent of “give it to me”

  22. Heavenbound says:

    I saw the video and I decided not to down load it even if it’s for free on itunes, it’s kind of sick having this “Granny” pump and grind and kissing a kid that is 30 years her junior. Grow up Madonna! she wants to behave like a teenager still.

  23. Lizzie says:

    Who is actually turned on by madonna or finds her hot? Nobody, all I hear is that she is fit and skinny, nothing really about her looks unless she is in a photoshopped picture. Seriously she just looks like a fool, this poor woman needs some therapy and self-love.