Taraji P. Henson broke off her engagement to Kelvin Hayden: ‘It didn’t work out’

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In 2018, Taraji P. Henson got engaged to Kelvin Hayden, a retired football player. I was happy for Taraji because I love her and I considered their relationship to be rather low-key. I was soon informed that Kelvin was (at the time?) likely a rampant cheater. Still, they were together for five years before they even got engaged, and they were supposed to get married this year. Taraji kept talking about her wedding plans in interviews. And then… that talk kind of stopped. I heard some rumors that Taraji and Kelvin split up a few months ago, I think? But no one ever confirmed anything. Until now:

Taraji P. Henson and her fiancé Kelvin Hayden have ended their engagement. During an appearance on The Breakfast Club morning radio show, the actress revealed that she and Hayden have split, nearly two years after the former NFL star proposed.

“I haven’t said it yet but it didn’t work out,” said Henson, 50, of her romance with Hayden, 37. “I tried, I said, ‘let’s do the therapy thing’ but if you’re both not on the same page with that, then you feel like you’re taking it on yourself and that’s not a fair position for anybody to play in a relationship.”

Though she did not disclose the reason behind the breakup or when they decided to call it quits, Henson stressed the importance of internal happiness separate from romantic relationships.

“My happiness is not his responsibility and his is not mine. We have to first learn how to make ourselves happy, to make each other happy. So when one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship, it’s never going to work,” she added. “You have to show up, yes you want to be understanding but you can’t lose yourself in that understanding. You have to still stand up for yourself and be there for yourself but it’s hard to do if the other person isn’t doing that either.”

[From People]

I feel like everything about what she’s saying is mature and also quite shady? It’s real-sh-t shady, like he wasn’t man enough to work on their problems. He wouldn’t go to therapy. He wouldn’t work on his mental health. She wasn’t looking to “fix” him, she wanted him to work on himself, just as she worked on healing herself. I feel sorry for her because she spent seven years with him and that was probably already like a marriage. But yeah, I’m glad she got out because it sounds like she wasn’t happy and neither was he.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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15 Responses to “Taraji P. Henson broke off her engagement to Kelvin Hayden: ‘It didn’t work out’”

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  1. VS says:

    Good for her; it is best to end than waste a few more years hoping it will get better

  2. blah says:

    I wish her well, I’m not sure why people in bad relationships try to force it as if a wedding will fix what is wrong.

    • osito says:

      I think it’s because it can be harder to see how bad it is the closer you are to it, which might have been why therapy was so illuminating for her — it helped her gain more distance and objectivity, allowing her to really process how she actually felt about him, his behavior, and the relationship in general.

  3. Yup, Me says:

    I appreciate her openness in discussing her own healing and therapy and Black womanhood. We need many more of these conversations (and more Black therapists and nore culturally competent therapists).

    Her ex is young- hopefully, he does decide to commit to healing himself.

  4. BnLurkN4eva says:

    I am happy she ended it if it wasn’t working instead of forcing something that would cause her endless misery. This way she can heal and hopefully someday if it’s what she wants, she will find the right person for her. I love her as an actress, but have issues with some of her values, so prefer to contend myself with just watching her projects.

    • godivalady says:

      if I may ask, which values do you disagree with? honestly just curious about any gossip :D

      • BnLurkN4eva says:

        @godivalady, she tends to cape for awful men like Terrence Howard and I won’t forget that she supported Ryan Seacrest when he was accused of a MeToo. I will watch her projects, but I avoid her interviews and such.

  5. nicegirl says:

    Love Taraji

  6. lucy2 says:

    Better to end it now than have to go through the legal debacle of a divorce.
    Love what she said about each being responsible for their own happiness. Way too many people expect a partner to give them all of that and more, rather than finding it for themselves.

  7. Anna says:

    I always knew this would happen. Wishing her the best as she embarks on the next level and hope she continues to shine even brighter and find love with someone who can match her well.

    • lisa says:

      Yep. A guy 13 years younger than her is not likely to be her match.

      • Anna says:

        @lisa For me it had nothing to do with age. People can find love across age differences. It just never seemed he was her equal or committed to a healthy and mature relationship on the same wavelength, like he was more into her as a star than in coming correct as a solid partner.

  8. Lwt00 says:

    Good for her for recognizing it for what it was and getting out. She’s 100% right about each person being responsible for their own happiness in a relationship. Hope she finds what she’s looking for with the partner she deserves.

  9. Melissai says:

    I’m sure it was a painful decision. But Taraji is so strong to commit to working on herself. I love the work she’s doing to break down the walls on getting therapy.

  10. Monette says:

    I’m sad. I was really happy for her when she anounced the engagement. I have a soft spot for her.