Last year, before the Duggars welcomed their whopping 18th child, they revealed that they work at their relationship and basically said they have an active sex life. They’re obviously getting up to something given how many kids they have. Jim Bob Duggar revealed his secrets to a happy marriage to People.com yesterday, and he wasn’t as explicit as he was last year, saying that they make time for each other, try to compliment each other when they can and are humble and forgiving. Among Jim Bob’s recommendations for married couple with children is that they have a weekly date. That’s probably a little easier to manage when you have older kids who can babysit for you.

Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage cracked under the stress of raising eight kids and differing priorities, but fellow reality TV star – and father of 18 – Jim Bob Duggar wants people to understand there can still be happiness in a marriage no matter how many kids are around.

“One of our goals is to encourage other families and parents that their marriage can be strong even if they have kids,” says Jim Bob, 44, whose wife, Michelle, 42, is pregnant with their 19th child.

The couple, who live in Tontitown, Ark., credit a few key relationship rules with keeping love in their marriage.

First priority: Making time for each other.

“We have a weekly date, even if it is just to take a walk in the park,” says Jim Bob. “We will go out to lunch or dinner and talk together about the kids, upcoming events, what we have coming up.”

While every couple has disagreements, he and Michelle try to look for the good in each other rather than being critical. “It is easy to think of the things that are bothering you more often than the things that are wonderful,” Jim Bob says. “It’s important to remember those things about your spouse and think about those things. A great rule of thumb is to say 10 nice things to every one critical thing.”

Forgiveness, he says, is also essential.

“We asked an Amish couple we met who had been married 50 years what the most important thing to know about marriage was,” says Jim Bob. “And, they told us, the most important thing to say is, ‘I was wrong and will you please forgive me.’ Each one of us tries to humble ourselves before the other and be willing to admit mistakes.”

Of course, raising kids adds a separate set of challenges to a relationship. “I never had an anger problem until I had kids,” Jim Bob says laughing, adding that staying level-headed is good for both the parents and the children. “Michelle has the best example of having a soft response and showing that to the kids,” he says. “I ask them to point out to me if I’m losing my temper.”

But as anyone who has seen the Duggars on 18 Kids and Counting (Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on TLC) knows, their home is mostly filled with praise and encouragement for mom, dad, and all those kids.

“We have purposed to compliment our children – we do that on outward beauty and what is wonderful about them inside. And we do that with each other as well.”

The Duggars have written a book about their experiences with raising children, living debt free and homeschooling, The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America’s Largest Families–How they Do It

[From People]

Michelle Duggar has a new interview with People in which she reveals the schedule that she follows with her children. While my first response to this story about the “weekly date” would have been to question how much time she has for her kids, I’m reminded that she home schools so the kids get time with her every day. It sounds like they also have a family meeting at the end of the day in which everyone gets a turn to talk:

So what is a typical day like for mom, dad, Jana and John-David, 19; Jill, 18; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 15; Joseph, 14; Josiah, 13; Joy-Anna, 11; twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, 10; Jason, 9; James, 8; Justin, 6; Jackson, 5; Johanna, 3; Jennifer, 2, and Jordyn-Grace, 8 months? (Oldest son Joshua, 21, lives with his wife Anna, also 21.)

Michelle, 42, shares their schedule with PEOPLE:

7 a.m.: Everyone gets up, gets dressed, brushes their teeth and washes up for breakfast. The older children help their “buddy” – the younger child they are responsible for – get ready.

8 a.m.: Family breakfast. Each week, they go through seven gallons of milk, 15 dozen eggs and 15 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. After reading from the Bible, they do a “quick clean” of the house, with “everyone scurrying to do their chore,” Michelle says.

9 a.m.: School, taught by mom, starts around the dining table. All of the children work at their own level for phonics and math. The older children also devote time to music – all Dugger kids learn violin and piano – and individual studies in math, English, spelling and typing.

12 p.m.: Lunch break. The family shops for bulk items once a month, and fresh fruit and vegetables every few days. “Usually, we are in the produce section buying huge quantities of apples, oranges, bananas, lettuce, carrots and things like that,” Michelle says. They often fill six or seven grocery carts per trip to the store. Monthly budget for groceries and household items: $3,000.

1:30 p.m.: The youngest kids go down for nap.

2 p.m.: Michelle and the older children reconvene for lessons in science, history, law and medicine.

4 p.m.: Individual studies for the older children and free time.

5 p.m.: Dinner. Afterward, another “quick clean” of the house, followed by free time.

8 p.m.: Snack time, then group Bible study. The family also goes around the room to talk about what is going on in each child’s life and day.

8:30 p.m.: Bedtimes begin.

[From People]

Their family wouldn’t work if they didn’t have some kind of system guiding everything. Do you think that Jim Bob and Michelle would have just as easily dealt with six kids all at once like the Gosselins? They did have most of them very close together so I guess it’s not all that different. At least we know that, unlike the plastic surgery-loving free-spending Gosselins, the Duggars are semi-immune to the trappings of fame. It’s not like we’re going to be hearing them trashing each other through the press in a couple of years. If they do have any problems I suspect they’ll keep it all under wraps. Can you imagine seeing their faces on the tabloids week after week like the Gosselins?