As if we don’t have enough to argue about these days, Gourmet Goddess Nigella Lawson took her butter knife and divided a country in two: Team Toast with a Spot of Butter and Team Butter with a Spot of Toast. What Nigella unleashed on the world the other day was her Two stage approach to buttering. Observe:
As a person who’s suffered from genetically high cholesterol her whole life, watching someone put this much butter on anything is like watching pr0n so I say yes! more, Nigella – always more. For those unable to play this short video, Nigella suggests putting a spread of butter on as soon as the toast comes out of the toaster. Anyone who’s ever forgotten to take the butter of the fridge ahead of time would agree because it’s the only way to spread it. Nigella contends it makes for a “fabulous crumpet bite.” Nigella’s toast in the video is already pre-buttered so we take her at her word. Then she proceeds to stage two, the second layer. This is where she hauls off a slab of butter the size of which I have only ever fantasized about and spreads it, leaving behind, “some golden patches” that remain on the surface. She creates a relief map of butter on the toast’s surface, making a point of saying it’s unsalted buttered because that is her preferred butter, then grabs sea salt and sprinkles it on top. It’s a work of art by the time she’s done with it. I wouldn’t eat it, but I’d watch her prepare it a hundred times.
Naturally the UK Food world has upended itself over the controversial video.
Lawson probably did not expect the uproar that would ensue from her highly controversial method, though perhaps she should have — the UK is, after all, a country that loses its collective marbles when a high street chain launches a vegan sausage roll.
“Nigella shows the nation how to butter toast … 5 minutes I will never get back,” one angry viewer wrote on Twitter.
“Nigella is the only person on the planet who can have me hanging on her every word as she tells me how to butter toast,” a more sympathetic commentator said.
Tabloids including the Mail Online and The Sun breathlessly reported on the mirth of some of Lawson’s audience, while The Telegraph added fuel to the fire by submitting the strategy to a number of accomplished chefs — none of whom backed the double-butter approach.
But Lawson found support in other corners of the internet. “I think it reasonable to say only Nigella could get away with teaching us how to make toast,” The Times columnist Alex Massie surmised.
“What have you started @Nigella_Lawson,” asked BBC radio presenter Zoe Ball, who dedicated a segment of her Wednesday morning show to allow listeners to debate the issue.
So we’re going to have to do this – one or two stage approach to buttering toast, folks? Personally, I’m going to be difficult and say it dependson the toast. I could see going back for a second swipe on a nice piece of toasted rye or sourdough. But a slice of artisan white or rustic potato, like it looks like Nigella is eating, could sag under that kind of creamy weight. Were this a roll or baguette the discussion would be over – butter in one hand, bread in the other and just alternate bites (I kid!) The salt on top is interesting. I’ll admit I was reticent but I haven’t tried it so I won’t reject it outright. All I know is I have not stopped thinking about toast since I watched this video. I’m wondering if I will have to double up on my statins tonight if I try Nigella’s technique.
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