Jennifer Lopez covers WSJ. Magazine to promote, as always, a variety of projects. She has a new movie (Marry Me), a new cosmetics like (JLo Beauty), a wellness brand with Alex Rodriguez (Hims & Hers) and like a million other things. I always enjoy Jennifer when she’s talking about business, but in this interview, I found her discussion of family life during the pandemic rather fascinating. I’ve always appreciated the fact that Jennifer has never leaned into the “Insta-mommy” thing, and she’s never really put her kids or motherhood front-and-center with her celebrity brand. She doesn’t hide her kids – Max and Emme – away, and they’re on her social media sometimes and in paparazzi photos, etc. But she just doesn’t really go hard into the motherhood talk like so many celeb moms. But she does in this interview!
Being home with the kids during the pandemic: “I actually loved being home and having dinner with the kids every night, which I hadn’t done in probably—ever. And the kids kind of expressed to me, like, the parts that they were fine with about our lives and the parts they weren’t fine with.” Lopez called the conversation “a real eye-opener and a reassessment” of “what was working and what wasn’t working.”
She realized her kids needed her: “You thought you were doing OK, but you’re rushing around and you’re working and they’re going to school and we’re all on our devices. We’re providing this awesome life for them, but at the same time, they need us. They need us in a different way. We have to slow down and we have to connect more. And, you know, I don’t want to miss things. And I realized, ‘God. I would have missed that if I wasn’t here today.'”
The pandemic aged everybody: “I feel like everybody aged, like, three years during this pandemic. I watched them go from kind of young and naive to really, like, grown-ups to me now. When did this happen? They’re not our babies anymore. They’ve been given a dose of the real world, with the knowledge that things can be taken away from you and life is going to happen no matter what. They had to grow up….So did we.”
On A-Rod: “I think where we’re twin souls, or whatever term you want to use, is in the way that there are no limits. That we’re limitless. That’s my thing, but he helped me realize how true that is. We can do anything. We both have that DNA—like, why not? Why can’t we build not one multibillion-dollar business, but three or four? Why can’t we own the Mets?”
She tries to limit the twins’ time on devices: “The twins are 12 now. It’s crazy. I’ve got to get them off those electronics for the rest of the day. I let them have them in the morning on the weekends but then I’ve gotta snatch ’em.”
I found this interesting and sort of sad and sort of remarkable that she said it: “…having dinner with the kids every night, which I hadn’t done in probably—ever.” I don’t think Max and Emme were, like, fending for themselves for years. Jennifer has always had an entourage made up of helpers and family. I’m sure she’s always had extended family and nannies around for Max and Emme throughout their lives. But yeah, Jennifer has always liked to WORK and that means she wasn’t around for family dinners most of the time. It also reminds me a bit of what happened in Will and Jada Smith’s family – when Jaden and Willow were just kids, they had to basically remind their parents of that and tell their parents to stop treating them like adults. I wonder if Max and Emme were like “you gotta treat us like we’re 12, damn it MA!” I hate that for these children.
Cover & IG courtesy of WSJ. Magazine.
don’t pay too much attention to her, so this was interesting to read.
My husband, who has always traveled a ton for work, would say the same thing. He’s never spent as much time home in all of my kids’ lives as he has in the last 10 months. That’s one of the few bright spots from this pandemic.
@marycontrary I feel the same regarding my husband as well. Flights have been cancelled, as has all in office activity since the pandemic began. Having him at home has been amazing and eye opening for him. Just the ability to pop in and out for dinner? Awesome.
Mine, too. I worked part-time after Kiddo started school full-time and never had to travel for work, so I was always the one home for dinner. Hubby used to travel regularly for work. Home for dinner? Weekends, maybe, but rarely during the week. As Kiddo got older, they were often missing dinner too – eating at their friends’ home or staying late at school, etc.
The pandemic has made things “interesting” for us. Kiddo is in high school, and taking classes remotely from their bedroom. My part-time work has evaporated. Hubby had been furloughed early on, and then picked up a few part-time gigs. One of those part-time consulting jobs has turned into a full-time job and he’s now turned half of our dining room in to his office. Everyone is home for dinner every night, for the first time in 16 years.
I think “home for dinner every night” is new for a lot of families, not just JLo’s. It’s not like her kids were being neglected, they simply had working parents, just like so many other kids.
I agree that they weren’t fending for themselves. And for my family too, it was the first time we actually were able to get together EVERY night for dinner. After school activities, sports and the like kept us all running in different directions – not so much our careers. It was a blessing for me when we got stuck inside, I have enjoyed my family and being able to have less stress of driving around and coordinating schedules. My kids are BEGGING for my husband and I to leave the house now. And I feel for JLo, it’s not easy being at the level, trying to have staying power in the industry and she is and balancing family.
Back when MTV actually played music videos and had music related programs, there was one with Jennifer and it followed her day for 24 hours. I can’t think of the name of the program.
And towards to end, she spoke about what her life goals were and she said it was to be there for her family. She was doing all of this because she wanted to make sure that her family stayed together. At this point of her career, she was still with Puffy and was comfortable but not the juggernaut she is now and she already had purchased a house for her, her mother and sister to live in together.
I don’t know what made me think of this but her hustle has always been about taking care of the people around her and to me, her kids are no different and they should be because, you know, they are kids.
I get what you’re saying. It reminds me of when I said (before kids) I would never lie to them or say “Because I said so”. That flew out the window very quickly.
I don’t think she was never around, probably just not nightly. I assume she had dinner with them a few times a week.
I like what she says here and I relate to it, even as a SAHP. Sometimes we get caught up in the whirlwind of hustle and bustle and forget to take time to just be.
I’ve always generally liked J Lo. Never been hardcore about her but she frequently entertains me, I admire her business acumen and she gives me hope for me to still to be able be fly as hell once I get to my 50s. Because DAYUM GIRL!!
I remember seeing a video on People of her and the twins and that conversation makes a ton of sense now.
It was Jennifer and two mature children talking. I didn’t think much of it at the time but after reading those quotes, yeah, I can see them have a real talk with Mom.
And say what you will about Jennifer, she really is a good interview and she does not suffer fools when speaking about aspects of her life. She knows that stuff (like flat out lying) can implode at any time.
I liked that even after her twins were born when asked how she stayed looking so good she said 8 hours of sleep a night, which in my mind was owning up to having a night nurse. If i had the resources ( and was a parent of course) i would too!
An old interview she gave after her divorce she said her sister was divorced too and she had kids as well so they decided to instead of a nanny bring their kids over to each others homes on nights they worked so they were with family and bonded with their cousins and aunt instead of with a nanny so often. they may have moved into each other’s homes temporarily if im remembering the interview correctly.
Other cultures have traditionally moved together even when adult children marry and grandparents live with them which would help with kids and busy careers. I feel like that would’ve helped a lot of Americans during the pandemic
I think a lot of people don’t spend that much time with their kids. I don’t get too judgmental as especially if you’re poor, we just don’t have a lot of choices. But this version of parenthood where our kids go from school to after school program and only make it home for dinner (if that)—I’m a believer that it has perpetuated shitty expectations in the workforce. I spend a lot of time telling employers that no, I will not return in the evening after an 8 hour day. No, I will not come in on weekends. No, no, no. I feel like I’m the only one pushing back. I hope we all rise up and give a middle finger to this norm, once and for all.
I promise, you are not the only one pushing back. My husband doesn’t push back, but he doesn’t face the same choices, expectations, or judgments that working moms are forced to deal with.
Thank God. I hope the pushback intensifies after this. Because the expectations are insane. We’re all expected to work as though we are as available as we were when childless. The standard for work is basically a single, childless 25-year-old. When women can work like that, they’re generally treated as well as men. But what an unreasonable expectation! Why is it the baseline? So endlessly frustrating!
Agree. This idea that people do not need to be home for dinner as a family needs to be shattered. When I was growing up, my two older brothers were really athletic in high school and my parents had lots of “discussions” with coaches about game practices being scheduled over the dinner hour. Almost all the coaches thought no one cared about eating as a family, except my parents. A generation later we can see that parents missed so much and the kids did, too!
Maybe all this rising anxiety and depression among the young has to do with hardly seeing their parents at all. One hour before bedtime is considered sufficient. I’ll take the career hit every time, but I realise that not everyone has the room to say no to unreasonable demands.
I too hope this all causes a major shift in what people are willing to do, and what employers, and clients, expect from people.
I am incredibly lucky in that my boss has never demanded people work late or weekends, but we’re insanely busy right now, half our staff has young kids at home, and I feel like I’m picking up a lot of the slack, and working late almost every night. It’s too much.
I’ve always respected her for her hustle – but am I alone in getting tired of hearing the new celebrity fad of being enlightened after spending time with their families? I have to laugh to myself whenever I read stories like this where they express their sudden joy on spending time with their families. Like…why did you even have kids if weren’t going to be around to enjoy their formative years with them?
That makes me sad for them, but it’s a reality that a lot of working moms face. My mom always tried to make sure we had dinner together, even on those days of child activities, which meant I inherited some of the responsibilities of dinner, etc. It actually set me up well for adulthood. But it is rough for a mom because we’re pulled in so many different ways. I make family dinner a priority as a working mom, but I also am not quite as “dedicated” to working out (and we only have 2 kids who are not quite at the sports/afterschool activity age yet), so I have a little extra time in the evening for all of that ;D I will say that weekday evenings go by so fast and we have so little time together that it’s nice to have even 30 minutes while we eat to catch up with each other.
I’m sad for the kids, if they feel like they weren’t getting enough attention from her, but good for them for talking about it. And sad for her if someday she looks back and wishes she had more time with them. Or maybe she’ll be happy with the balance she has. She has built quite an empire, I can’t imagine how difficult it is to manage all that, unless you hire really great people who you trust to take care of it.
My kids are finally old enough where we can eat with them without eating at 5 pm. It’s been very nice to hear about their days. I feel like the pandemic helps me be more present as well because it’s easier to have energy to read or play with them in the evening when my commute is the 20 feet from my home office instead of 1 hr and 15 minutes through interstate rush hour traffic.
Wow this is parenting 101. You can’t parent via FaceTime, you need to be there. Her kids don’t need more DIOR clothes, they need her physically there. I know real F’d up kids from wealthy families, yes they had a lot of stuff, but the lack of steady parental presence made them act out. I’m not saying JLo shouldn’t work, but did she really need a deal with Coach bags?? One less thing off her plate and give that time to her kids.
Jlo is a beautiful woman and sure she cares about her kids and family…. but I can’t help but feel “meh” about her. She is pretty much a diva and difficult. I am a footwear designer , we designed her shoes that we’re sold at Kohls and she demanded that no one speak to her directly or look her in the eyes during line review meeting. She had a list of demands for a relatively short meeting and was really a pain in the ass. I did a few celebrities brands and she was the worst. It’s funny how she always tries to come out as likable but she is not with her treatment of regular people.