The Duchess of Sussex had a miscarriage in July: ‘I tried to imagine how we’d heal’

Meghan Markle will celebrate her 39th birthday on August 4th **FILE PHOTOS**

The Duchess of Sussex wrote an essay for the New York Times’ op-ed section. The piece is called “The Losses We Share,” with the sub-head “Perhaps the path to healing begins with three simple words: Are you OK?” A subtle callback to what she said in the ITV documentary about the Sussexes’ trip to Africa, where she teared up talking about how no one really checked in with her after Archie was born (and she was being berated and smeared on a daily basis). 2020 was the year that Harry and Meghan found freedom, the year they got away and moved to America. We wanted their story to be full of happiness and we dreamed of a second child for them, a second pregnancy which would be without the drama, lies and abuse she suffered during her first. But as Meghan describes in this piece, she had a miscarriage in July:

It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.

After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.

I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.

Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.

I recalled a moment last year when Harry and I were finishing up a long tour in South Africa. I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye.

“Are you OK?” a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.

“Thank you for asking,” I said. “Not many people have asked if I’m OK.”

Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, “Are you OK?”

[From The NY Times]

She goes on to speak about all of the losses we’ve suffered this year, the collective grief of a raging pandemic, the loss of life from police brutality, the emotional toll of “siloed living” in modern life, made especially stark during the pandemic. It’s a plea for compassion during Thanksgiving and an acknowledgement that this year has been really f–king hard on many of us.

Obviously, the complaints are already starting. I’ve learned from covering Chrissy Teigen and Hilaria Baldwin that so many women are desperate to find public spaces to speak about miscarriages and baby losses. I always thought “well, that’s private,” or “that’s a family issue,” but I understand now that comes across as dismissive and even stigmatizing. So many women and men go through this and they have the right to grieve however they want. She is helping break those stigmas and helping countless couples who have gone through this.

Cenotaph Remembrance Parade

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Avalon Red and WENN.

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329 Responses to “The Duchess of Sussex had a miscarriage in July: ‘I tried to imagine how we’d heal’”

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  1. LORENA says:

    So sad for them ☹️

    This is why all the bump speculation makes some of us uncomfortable. Sure ppl mean well but you just never know what someone is going thru

    • Oh_Hey says:

      Omg yes.
      This is why we don’t bump watch. It can turn out tragic even if you’re right. Don’t go there unless the pregnant person does first or they show up baby in tow.

    • Mich says:

      It made me particularly uncomfortable because the risk goes up significantly with age.

      Side note: I bet they adopt even if they also have a second child.

    • Becks1 says:

      It also makes that article from early September in Us Weekly about how “its baby time” super gross. I mean I know its one of those things that the tabloids/gossip mags just do on a regular basis, but I imagine that had to sting even more coming so soon after the loss. I’m hoping they didn’t see it.

    • Chicka says:

      Which makes the speculation all the more devastating bc we could all tell she was pregnant in June only to see something (horribly) changed when we saw her again in August and she no longer looked as if she were carrying 💔

      Also, it’s reported Harry had informed his family about the baby loss. And it makes even more sense that disgusting, pityful family sent K8 out to trade on this loss by visiting with the miscarriage center. It was not a coincidence!

      • Becks1 says:

        omg, I had forgotten about that. that wasn’t until October but I wonder if they started planning it immediately after hearing about Meghan.

      • Jen says:

        @BECKS1 – just to make you aware October is Baby loss awareness month. There is also a dedicated baby loss awareness week in Oct (in the UK at least). There is every chance she visited the miscarriage place because of that?

      • Becks1 says:

        @Jen – yes, I know that. And I’m sure that was the primary reason for the visit, but she has never visited such a center or made any kind of statement during October relating to infant/pregnancy loss, so now its standing out to me, especially since we know how KP operates.

      • Jen says:

        @BECKS1 very true, I was trying to be optimistic I guess. I wouldn’t put it past them though!

      • Becks1 says:

        I mean Chicka and I may just be too jaded at this point in time when it comes to the Cambridges, lol, and hopefully this was just a visit Kate did to shed light on an important issue, but……

      • yinyang says:

        Oh yes to make them look good once the news got out to the press.

      • Lorelei says:

        This is such an excellent example of how much more effective Meghan is compared to Kate, because Meghan actually shares us some of her life and experiences with us, and it shines through when someone is being sincere.

        I’ve always found it so puzzling and disheartening that Kate didn’t start doing work w/r/t hyperemesis gravidarum. It would have been such an obvious and natural cause that she really *could* bring awareness to, because there were a lot of people who’d never heard of it until it was revealed that she was suffering from it.

        It’s would be a no-brainer imo; obviously it’s an issue she does care about so maybe she’d be more invested than she is in all of her other patronages? Just so strange imo.

      • Betsy says:

        @Lorelei – that’s actually the first thing I can give Kate a pass for. I didn’t even have hyperemesis, but by the time I had my third, my morning sickness lasted the entire nine months. I still don’t like to think of it and I can imagine that if Kate actually had hyperemesis, she doesn’t like to revisit it.

      • February-Pisces says:

        I think it depend if the royal mafia knew or not. I know VF has written a piece that said that they did, but I’m not entirely convinced. I also wonder ‘when’ they were told. If they were told before October then Kate goes and visits a miscarriage centre, I would love to say that it’s probably a coincidence, but we know that the Keenbridges love to play a one sided game of tit-for-tat. If a woman who has actively gone out of her way to run me out of the country, finds out I’ve had a miscarriage, and then goes to visit a miscarriage centre, whilst the general public praise her to the heavens for it, I’d be pretty pissed off.

      • ravynrobyn says:

        THAT’S the most vile, depraved & disgusting thing that I’ve ever heard 😭😭😭

        ETA-wrote this in response to Chicka’s comment about K8 going to miscarriage center while knowing M had one…

      • notasugarhere says:

        Kate has never done anything about HG or HG awareness day, in spite of claiming she herself suffered from HG. All I can see in Kate’s visit is a chance to shove herself into this narrative. As Becks1 writes, she’s had a decade to pretend to care about baby loss and has done nothing about it until now? Yes, that is suspicious.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        I’m f.l.o.r.c. Btw. New name. Anyway I remember the only time HG was ever brought up officially was by KP once. After that the royal reporters and commenters ran with it for ever excuse. It was a great way to get William back from his boys only week.

        Kate is passionate about stuff, but if it comes to using her passion to help a cause of community she always seems to care less.

      • Nic919 says:

        I’m inclined to think these royals capable of anything so it’s possible she knew in October. I strongly suspect they knew an article was coming out this week which is why they decided to make the news about Lupo public.

    • Coz' says:

      Absolutely Lorena. Even if it comes from good intention and wishing the best to people, bump watch is not a healthy habit and can cause pain!

    • MissMarierose says:

      Yes, thank you. I find bump watch to be so creepy and intrusive.

      It’s the 21st century and still, a woman can’t exist without speculation on her reproductive status.

      • Lady2Lazy says:

        @ MissMarierose, that and politicians, evangelicals and Karen’s in the world telling what we can and cannot do with our own bodies and how we care treat our with regards to birth control, I’m looking at you, you sanctimonious sh#t Hobby Lobby and Chic-Fil-A!!

        Though I must ad, that Meghans article in the NYT was gracious, loving, compassionate and an excellent opportunity for all of us to ask each other, how are you?
        Just those three simple words are so impactful and moving when we ask others this question. I was truly gutted that they experienced that loss. I hope that given Meghan and Chrissy have opened the gates to openly speak about with others and those who have suffered.

    • lucy2 says:

      Same here. Sad for them, and desperately hoping we stop “bump watch” stuff. Even just speculating or saying “hmm, wonder if she’s pregnant and if not will she be soon?” makes me uncomfortable. I really feel like it shouldn’t be mentioned unless someone announces they are expecting.
      I hope she doesn’t pay attention to any of the media and didn’t have to see any of it while they were going through this.

    • Janerys says:

      I agree, And I have seen articles on this site speculating, which doesn’t sit well with for for the reasons you and others have set out.

    • Jules says:

      So true, I hate the bump speculation. It’s invasive and there is a reason why many women wait three months to say anything. This is so sad for them, as a couple they have been through so much in a short time.

    • SomeChick says:

      Perhaps we can do better around here going forward. Many of us have posted comments saying this isn’t a good thing to bring up (and why) only to be told by other commenters, “it’s a gossip site!” and to just put up with it. It’s one of those subjects that should be left alone until the pregnant person brings it up.

    • HeyThere says:

      LORENA: YES 100%!! This is why ‘bump watch’ is so hurtful. You have zero idea what people are going through, or if they are trying to conceive or just suffered a loss. When I was younger(teens, early 20’s) I use to ask friends when they are having kids. I’m in my 30’s now, a mom myself who was lucky enough to never experience a loss, and I vowed a few years ago to never, under any circumstances, ask about anyone else’s uterus unless THEY bring it up themselves!

      • Ann says:

        I’m in an older age set and I never told anyone outside of immediate family until after the first trimester. I knew how common miscarriage was, and had friends and relatives who had miscarried early, so I never took anything for granted. No one should ask you about it, in any situation. I mean, if you are clearly heavily pregnant, like eight months along or whatever and it’s obviously pregnancy and not weight, etc., then I think it’s OK because honestly it’s almost more awkward not to acknowledge it. But otherwise? No.

  2. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    I’m so desperately sorry that she – they – have gone through this. I’m glad she shared her story with the world. Normalising women’s pain is a century overdue.
    This is why we must also school ourselves NEVER to go on bump-watch.

    • Elizabeth Regina says:

      She is one brave woman. Choosing to share her story knowing people will still come for her takes guts. This act is making so many women open up and talk. The downside is her abusers are unrelenting in their hate. I am so glad she wrote that beautiful opinion piece.

      • Becks1 says:

        This is something that really got me too – she knew what half the reactions to this would be. She knew how the british press would react, and all the internet trolls. And she still wrote this very moving piece.

      • So agree Elizabeth Regina. As Maya Angelou said, “And still, I rise…..”. Meghan has such courage. Given how awful it was for her when she was pregnant with Archie, she has to know how ugly many opinions and comments will come forth over her miscarriage.

      • anotherlily says:

        This gets to the heart of it Elizabeth R. The Daily Mail is supposedly moderating comments but I reported one comment which said the baby is better of dead than being born to Meghan and Harry. How did that pass the ‘moderators’? The Daily Mail facilitates abuse.

      • Otaku fairy says:

        So true. Hopefully her loved ones aren’t seeing or hearing the awful things being said right now. We don’t always think about that part of all this, but that probably isn’t easy either.

    • Sofia says:

      I agree. I won’t act like I’m above it all and say I’ve NEVER bump-watched. I certainly have, including comments on this site. But this is why I try to avoid any and all pregnancy speculation – no matter who it is and why I should make a larger effort to avoid it.

    • LaraK says:

      It’s not just about normalization. It’s the best form of help other women going through the same thing.
      I lost 2 pregnancies before my daughter and the most helpful thing was to hear from other women who had miscarriages or ectopics and went on to have healthy children. It gave me hope when I felt like my own body was turning on me.
      I talk about my miscarriage and ectopic freely for that reason, and I had a friend thank me because she had just had an ectopic and was freaking out she would never have kids. She was thanking me for giving her a reason to be hopeful. She has a beautiful daughter now.
      We need to heal each other, and give each other hope.

      • Elizabeth Regina says:

        Well said LaraK. My experience 30 years ago and a total of three (2 still births and a live birth) was harrowing. There was absolutely no support with another layer of other difficulties added on top. I survived but I’ve never been the same. Today is the closest I’ve come to talking about it and I have Meghan to thank for that.

      • Becks1 says:

        I’m sorry for both your losses and all the other Celebitchies sharing their stories.

      • BnLurkN4eva says:

        @LaraK and @Elizabeth Regina, I am so sorry that you both went through such losses. I am thrilled for the live birth though I know that the others stay with you. I hope many others will know they are not alone by reading Meghan’s story and yours.

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      Speaking honestly. Never going on bump watch isn’t easy. You want to be happy for others. You hope for their joy. And it’s incredibly instinctive. But maybe we don’t have to be so vocal about it.

  3. OriginalLala says:

    I’m sorry to hear this and I hope she and Harry are able to heal. Sending love to the many celebitches who have dealt with miscarriage and infant loss xoxo.

    This is why we really need to stop with the bump watch, it’s intrusive and we have no idea what people are dealing with personally.

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      Yes, this. I know it’s tempting especially when the body looks different, or the outfit type change a bit, but there’s a reason most women don’t announce right away the find out they are pregnant. Anything can happen and we help women by not speculating until they feel the need to reveal. Please note, this is not a reprimand, just a suggestion.

    • Amelia says:

      Thank you. I always cringe when I see bump watch. I lost a baby at 20 weeks, and one of the first times I ventured back out in public I was asked by an acquaintance (who hadn’t seen me for a while) if I was pregnant. It was like being slapped in the face. I snapped “No” and didn’t explain further, but a mutual friend told her in private later that I’d been pregnant and had lost the baby. She felt terrible, because she’s not an awful person, but she could have saved herself the mortification if she had not asked in the first place.

      I feel so much empathy for Megan and Harry. I know when I was her age, being older only amplified the stress I felt around my difficulties conceiving and carrying to term. And yes, I know people like to rush in with comments that lots of women have healthy babies at 38 or 39 or 40, but it is harder in general and just doesn’t happen for some of us. In fact, it makes me feel worse because I couldn’t do it and it makes me feel more like a failure.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        No woman is a failure for trying to carry a child. My mother had me days from her 40th birthday. I have never been able to carry full term and am now in my mid thirties. I’m healthy. It just wasn’t meant to be with me and that’s not a failure on me as a person.
        Women need to realize for whatever reason the pregnancy is rejected and that isn’t from anything controllable. But I do understand how difficult accepting loss is. My heart goes out to them and you all.

  4. Harper says:

    The NYTimes piece is beautifully written and the comments so supportive. I know the headlines will be on the unreported miscarriage but the message in the article was so compassionate: Check up on each other. I loved it. And since the miscarriage happened in July, I am still hopeful that the reason her trial date was pushed back was that she has successfully conceived again.

    • Carmen says:

      It’s nice the comments on The NY Times are so supportive, because you should read those bitches in the Daily Mail.

      • PrincessK says:

        Not only the Daily Mail, also The Times which also has a right wing readership and though the people tend to be of a better educated class exhibit exactly the same levels of racism.

      • MsDiMeanOur says:

        the daily fail readers need to be drop kicked onto their own planet
        they are so vile and hateful

        they act like Meghan is broadcasting it immediately after she lost the baby.. yet its months after…

        i really have to douse my eyes in bleach after reading all that hate.

      • Carmen says:

        @PrincessK: the Times is known as fairly liberal newspaper. That’s why Trump is always castigating it as “the failing New York Times”. Its right-wing readership is probably 10% of the total, if that much. The DM’s readership sounds like a Nazi rally. Those people bashing Meghan on their web site are several evolutionary levels below pond scum.

      • Interact says:

        I assume PrincessK is referring to a British newspaper called the Times, which is upmarket and conservative, not the NYT.

      • PrincessK says:

        @Carmen @Interact…sorry, yes I am referring to The Times of London.

        I really like, ‘The DM’s readership sounds like a Nazi rally. ‘….excellent description.

    • Ann says:

      I agree, I was so happy and almost surprised to see how universally supportive the comments were. It is a well-written, sensitive and intelligent piece that speaks to so many people, whether or not they have had the same experience. If I might say, a lot more edifying than a lot of stuff I read in the NYT Op Ed page. And that’s not about politics, I just think it had gone downhill for a while there.

  5. Belli says:

    It was a beautiful, moving and important piece and it’ll help more people open up about their experience as long as they don’t think they’ll be immediately shut down like some people are already trying to do to Meghan (I should never be surprised about the depths of inhumanity some people are willing to go to justify maintaining their hatred of her, but I always am).

    The more people that are talking about it and sharing their experience, the better for those hurting. Seeing miscarriage as a “private shame” to never be talked about is so so damaging.

    • Elizabeth Regina says:

      So many women on twitter are sharing their stories and there has largely been an outpouring of support and calls for more openness about the subject. However there are some irredeemable people who are still hating but thankfully they are being dealt with by people you least expect. I wish Meghan and Harry all the love in the world and pray for a hedge of protection around their family.

      • Belli says:

        That’s wonderful to hear, I’m glad they’re being shut down and quickly. It’s such an important thing to talk about and made so much easier to heal from by hearing other people share their experiences.

      • Becks1 says:

        CNN had a nice bit on the op-ed with Max Foster, and it ended with the other anchor (John Berman I think?) basically saying “damn the royal family lost a good one.” I mean he didn’t say that but it was implied. and the anti-Meghan brigade is out in force on twitter but the responses are pretty swift and immediate.

  6. AndaPanda says:

    Kudos to her for sharing. Grief makes some or most people uncomfortable. I am going through that now. I lost my mom yesterday and it’s so hard to tell some people because I know they don’t know what to say.

    my best friend’s sister started a non profit for women who have have suffered loss due to still born or miscarriage after she lost her angel baby at 8.5 months and realized she didn’t have a lot of resources to turn to. She’s started a community that’s healing together and it’s a really amazing thing to see.

    • Sarah says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss and you’re absolutely right about people’s reactions to grief. I hope you can find a path through your grief and find those who can give you the support that will help you.

    • ThatsNotOkay says:

      I’m so sorry you lost your mom–one of the few constants and most reliable things you’ve had in your life. The pain can be immeasurable. We are holding you in our hearts today and will be thinking of you tomorrow, thanking the universe for all the time you did have together and for her having raised a wonderful daughter.

    • Harper says:

      I am so sorry for your loss @AndaPanda.

    • Sofia says:

      I’m really sorry for your loss.

    • Becks1 says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Big internet hugs.

    • BABSORIG says:

      So sorry for your loss @AP, praying for you and all people grieving a loved one.
      My heart broke for the Sussexes, I pray they find healing and peace in the arms of the Lord. Love to everyone.

    • Elizabeth Regina says:

      I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

    • Starfish says:

      I’m so so sorry for the loss of your mom. The holidays can be so hard for people who lost a beloved family member recently. My heart goes out to you. I feel so badly for the Sussexes on the loss of their baby. So many women experience some kind of miscarriage and it’s devastating. I hope by discussing it more we can help comfort one another. It was an incredibly brave thing for Meghan to write this.

    • Myra says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you have all the support of your loved ones and friends to help you through this painful period.

    • GuestwithCat says:

      I lost my mother-in-law last year, who was always there for me when my own mom couldn’t be. I empathize with the void your loss leaves in your heart and in the places in your life that your mother filled. Please know that, in time, you will be able to move from mourning her to celebrating her, even as you will always miss her.

      Warm virtual hugs to you.

    • Izzy says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s all I can say. I lost my (first) stepmom a few years ago, she and my dad had been married 32 years. Every time someone spouted some platitude about being in a better place, I wanted to throw a shoe at them. So all I can say is I’m so sorry for your loss, and sending you a virtual hug.

    • twoz says:

      My deepest sympathies, AndaPanda.

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      Wow! I can’t even imagine a loss at 8.5 months, that’s so… There are no words, it brought instant tears to my eyes. I am glad she found a way to deal by creating a community that’s there for herself and other women with same/similar experience.

      I am truly sorry for your loss. Losing one’s mother must be a true nightmare, I fear it so much.

    • Aang says:

      Sending love.

    • swirlmamad says:

      I’m so very sorry. Sending you warm wishes for comfort.

    • Case says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss and send you lots of love. When my grandparents died, I remember my mom noting how lonely it felt – people she’d known and worked with for a long time didn’t even offer condolences because I guess they felt too uncomfortable. On top of grief, the last thing people need is to feel alone and unsupported.

    • lucy2 says:

      I am so sorry for your loss.
      You are so very right about grief.

    • Farfromreality says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Sitka says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it must be at the moment.
      The days will be hard but eventually the weight on your chest will start to get lighter. But for now you grieve however you feel is best. The only one who can get you through this is you so be kind to yourself.
      I sat on a kitchen floor and sobbed 5 months after my dad died and I thought I had dealt with it all by then. I started yoga after that and it completely eased whatever was going on in my head.

    • LahdidahBaby says:

      AndaPanda, I’m very sorry for the loss of your mother, and I hope you have someone close to you who will accompany you on the lonely path that follows such a profound loss even in normal times, much less during this global pandemic that can leave us with no one to turn to and nowhere to go but where we are.

    • Charfromdarock says:

      I’m sorry for your loss AndaPanda.

    • Chica says:

      Losing a parent is awful. There are no adequate words to say. I loss my mother, and we had a terrible relationship, and I found it to be difficult, so my heart goes out to you at this most difficult time. I pray you find piece and comfort in Her memories.

  7. Seraphina says:

    My heart goes out to them both for their loss and having to go through it when they have so much to deal with than we can ever really imagine.
    I have a friend who is 7 years older than me and she once said, the biggest disadvantage we do to one another is not talking about what people label as “private”. It’s ok to talk about the hurt, the pain we suffer through during a loss. It’s ok to talk about the depression after a child is born healthy. It’s ok to talk about the emotional downs of life. Someone’s story may just help someone else.

  8. lanne says:

    I’m so glad she’s home now. I can’t imagine her being in the UK going through something like this. Can you imagine how terribly she’d be treated by the media? And though she’ll still be treated terribly over there, at least she and Harry have some peace and a place to themselves.

    • Noki says:

      If she was in the UK i dont think she would even be allowed to share such news she would probably be suffering in silence as part of the royal family. Kate and Sophies pregnancy incidents only came out probably because they had to be in hospital.

      • lanne says:

        That’s really sad. That family is so toxic it’s tragic.

      • Sofia says:

        Zara (but maybe it’s because she’s a private citizen) did reveal she suffered two (I think) miscarriages so I think she might have been allowed to share but it would have been very controlled by the palace as to how and when

      • Elizabeth Regina says:

        If she was in the UK, there will be so many layers of leaks, half truths and outright lies will make up the majority of them. All her doctors and nurses will be stalked and blackmailed into submission. The sperm donor and other daughter would have been wheeled out to make up more lies. Leaving was the best decision for them.

      • Still_Sarah says:

        @ Noki : Zara Tindale went public with the miscarriage she had before her 2nd daughter Lena was born.

    • mytwocents says:

      The response from the UK on Twitter and on the DM is unsurprisingly disgusting. I didn’t read much on the DM because it just makes me angry, and most were willing to acknowledge it was sad and wishing condolences, but with a backhanded ‘ it’s a private issue and she’s trying to get attention again’. So Kate can post about losing her dog and she gets thousands of condolences, love and sympathy and Meghan loses a child and she’s attention seeking?!!

      • swirlmamad says:

        “So Kate can post about losing her dog and she gets thousands of condolences, love and sympathy and Meghan loses a child and she’s attention seeking?!!”

        EXACTLY THIS. These people are so hateful and spiteful it’s disgusting. How horrible it must be to live your life with so much hate in your heart. I’m so sorry for H&M and I hope she gains the comfort she needs by sharing her experience.

      • Myra says:

        I made the mistake of reading the comments under SkyNews twitter account and I am appalled. These people are so vile. I can’t imagine the kind of life they live if they carry such hatred in their hearts.

      • PrincessK says:

        Comments in The Times also exhibit same levels of racism and hatred.

    • Beach Dreams says:

      Agreed. I can’t imagine how she would’ve had to deal with such a loss if she and Harry were still living there. At least here, she is able to deal with the grief and sorrow without constantly facing attacks from the palace and the UK media in close range. I’m glad that at least she’s been able to process this heartbreaking situation in peace.

    • anotherlily says:

      Zara’s first miscarriage was announced through Buckingham Palace press office because the pregnancy had already been made public. Zara may live essentially as a private citizen but she is still a member of the royal family with a place in the line of succession and every child she has will follow her in the line of succession. Her second miscarriage was before any public announcement of the pregnancy so wasn’t reported but Zara spoke about both her miscarriages in an interview with The Times in July 2018.

      If Zara Tindall’s pregnancies are officially announced then Meghan’s are also of royal significance. Any child born to Meghan and Harry will be in the line of succession after Harry and will be a grandchild of the next King. Archie is currently 7th in line and will move to 6th place when his grandfather is King.

      • L4frimaire says:

        I don’t like how some in the press is trying to turn this into a competition,especially for something as sad as this. Both women went through this and had to grieve their pregnancy losses. Zara got to share her loss how she chose to and Meghan chooses to share it her way. I’m not sure if the press have reached out to Zara, but it is insensitive of them to insert her in this without her consent. I really feel for Meghan and Harry, and we really wanted a happy ending with another pregnancy for them. It is helpful to so many with her sharing this news and has impact. They’ve had some positive steps forward, and a few setbacks and a sad loss as well. It’s been a tough year for all of us. Much respect to them.

  9. Lauren says:

    This is heart breaking. Too many topics about women, their bodies, their health, pregnancies, childbirth and childrearing are policied by other people. We should have discussions a society to how we can help other women instead of trying to bring them down. I don’t even want to know what the trashy british “news” websites are writing about Meghan’s miscarriage. Let alone the disgusting comments.

    • Otaku fairy says:

      This, and it’s messed up. Because people love hearing and spreading every type of rumor about women’s bodies when those rumors aren’t verified and coming from the women themselves. No topic is off limits when it comes to female bodies, and people are happy to exploit info on so-called private topics to confirm biases and justify things. But somehow women sharing the painful experience of losing a baby, or discussing other trauma is somehow too far for people?

    • Call_me_al says:

      Good point. Add to the list menstruation, body hair, clothing, breastfeeding…It goes on.
      I can only hope to model good boundaries, self-determination, a autonomy, and agency for my daughter and son…

  10. Mignionette says:

    Really heartbreaking. I hope the BM back off now and allow Meghan, Harry and Archie the time and space to grieve as a family,

    • Seraphina says:

      They are like piranhas and once they smell blood, they go in even harder.

      • Ginger says:

        There will be hundreds of articles from the British media saying that the Queen or Charles were blindsided by the announcement, or she broke protocol by writing the article with New York Times, etc.. All just to make Meghan and Harry look bad. Disgusting.

    • mytwocents says:

      I wonder if the family knew earlier? Or are they hearing now in the news? You can just see the headlines, Royal Family ‘blindsided’ by news of Meghan’s miscarriage. I don’t think they knew, to know and go ahead and reject Harry’s wreath would be too much, even for them.

      • Izzy says:

        Nah, it wouldn’t be too much, even for them. They would jump on an opportunity to put the screws to them like that.

      • Jolie says:

        Two totally unrelated matters.

      • mytwocents says:

        Jolie, yes, unrelated topics but I’m referring that one would think they would’ve tried to be kinder to Harry after knowing about the miscarriage.

      • Digital Unicorn says:

        It’s been reported that Harry spoke to a few members of the family when it happened but given that it hasn’t been leaked I think we all know who wasn’t one of those in the know. And yes I really do think they would have leaked this.

      • Becks1 says:

        @DU that’s something that has stood out to me over the last few weeks – its crystal clear who Harry is and is not speaking to in that family.

      • Carmen says:

        Do you think the Queen and Charles sent condolences, or do they even give a sh*t? I’m sure K and W don’t.

    • Ann says:

      Not likely. They have no souls.

  11. Roserose says:

    There’s so much shame and pain about pregnancy loss which is compounded by silence. She’s so brave to speak out about this awful loss, especially knowing how cruel the press and people would be about this and her doing so.

    For what it’s worth to anyone who needs to hear it, I’ve had a miscarriage. You are not alone. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I still think about that baby, who they might have been, what our family would have looked like. There’s no shame in having a miscarriage and the feelings you have about it. I went on to have two kids.

    • Ripley says:

      My best friend called me and told me she was six weeks pregnant. She also shared she was telling only specific people who that if she ever called up sobbing I would know why. Thankfully it didn’t happen for that pregnancy (a now 8 year old little man), but it did happen and she said she was so happy she had done it because I just let her cry and understood why.

      • Kiera says:

        I did that with a select few friends as well and it really took some emotional stress off of me. One of my best friends just found out she is pregnant and did the same thing because she wanted to have someone to call as well. She also said it’s made her calmer to know that I’ll be there and will know and be able to help her through whatever will happen.

      • Mindy_Dopple says:

        I’m 7 weeks pregnant and everyone including my sister told me to keep to myself in case of a miscarriage and I just felt that was so backwards. It’s not like I was announcing it on Facebook. I had told my very small very close circle because of that specific reason, I wanted a group of people I could turn to in case anything did happen. I’m supposed to do it all alone? That didn’t make sense.

      • Ripley says:

        No, it doesn’t make sense. It’s a time we’re at our most vulnerable and emotions are heightened due to all those hormones along with the excitement and anxiety rolled into one pregnancy. I did the same with her and didn’t have to use it, but it was a relief to know someone other than my husband and I knew.

      • Chris says:

        @mindydopple I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I think what people like chrissy teigen and megan are doing is really beneficial for women (and anyone with a uterus who is or trying to get pregnant). We traditionally hide our pregnancy for 12 weeks because of the stigma of miscarriage in society. People just don’t want to hear about it which is unfair and leaves women feeling terribly alone during a vunerable time. The first trimester is rough, it’s hard to deal with symptoms AND be responsible for not bothering anyone with it. Removing the stigma makes pregnancy and miscarriage less lonely. Miscarriage is SO common, but discussed so infrequently that people don’t realize it or what it actually entails.

      • Mindy_Dopple says:

        @Chris, congrats! and I agree, they’re bringing light to a subject people and the general public feel so uncomfortable by they’d rather it be kept away from them but OH FREAKING WELL. It makes people feel less lonely and also less like personal failures when it’s shared with others who have experienced it as well. It’s for the benefit of those grieving and people should respect that.

      • Lionel says:

        @Chris: Yes, exactly. Nobody talks about how COMMON a miscarriage is. I forget the statistic, someone can correct me, but a huge percentage of pregnancies end in miscarriage. When you get to be my age, if you started in your thirties like many of my friend group did, it’s actually unusual to find someone who hasn’t suffered one. It helped me greatly, after my own two miscarriages, to realize 1) how not alone I was and 2) how many pregnancies are rejected by the body simply because something was wrong: the egg or sperm was abnormal, it didn’t attach correctly… all these things that are so common, beyond our control, and would result in more pain and grief were the compromised pregnancy carried to term. Maybe rationalizing it like that doesn’t resonate with everyone, but it helped me enormously.

    • Anon says:

      @Roserose your comment is exactly how I feel. I had a wonderful, healthy child and then a miscarriage two years later. I often think of that baby and wonder about all of the things he/she could have brought to our family. It is heartbreaking on some days and it’s been 16 years since we lost our child. Thank you for putting that into words for me and our small family.

    • Ann says:

      With my first pregnancy I didn’t tell anyone outside of my immediate family until I was past the first trimester. It really is hard to keep it to yourself, especially if you are working and having morning sickness, tiredness, etc. I was lucky with my second one because I was at a very small, all-female, supportive office and I knew I could share it with them. My co-worker who is my age struggled with fertility and had a miscarriage shortly before I got pregnant for the second time, so it was something we were all comfortable discussing. I was very lucky. I didn’t have trouble getting pregnant and I never miscarried, at least not as far as I know. My work colleague now has four kids, so it all worked out, but it was hard on her. I’m so glad Meghan wrote this and it’s clear from the comments that people appreciated it.

  12. Eleonor says:

    This is a sad news wish them well.

  13. Digital Unicorn says:

    Am so sad for them and its great that she is sharing this to encourage open discussion on this heartbreaking topic. I can only imagine that they went through and am sure the stress of everything didn’t help during that time.

    It was a beautifully written article.

    Am staying off UK twitter this morning – the Daily Fail idiots are all over it. So far the rags are being ‘nice’ but am sure at some point they will start whining about how they never told the RF first etc…

    • Seraphina says:

      @DU, they want Harry and Meghan out but continue to want them shackled to the protocol. The family truly is crazy.

    • Thanks says:

      Yeah rags being ‘nice’ won’t last. They were nice to Angelina too after she revealed her mastectomy. Didn’t last did it?

  14. ThatsNotOkay says:

    Oh, Meghan and Harry (and Archie), I’m so sorry for your loss. Most women know someone (or are someone) who has lost a child due to miscarriage and have had to suffer in silence. I’m so proud of the women who have been speaking up and sharing their pain. When you want that child so much, no longer getting a chance to be part of his/her life leaves a hole. Yes, you get passed it, but that’s because we get passed so much in life, not because it is easy or any less devastating than losing someone we’ve had in our lives for years.

  15. Kay says:

    What a beautiful piece. My heart breaks for them, but I’m glad that they have been open about things like yoga and therapy, because I know that routine and mindfulness can help with grief. My husband and I are 6 months into trying for our first, and the world of TTC/early pregnancy (which unfortunately includes miscarriage for so many) is so isolating. Anything people can do to shed light on any aspect of it, especially this, the hardest aspect, is wonderful and brave.

    I used to participate in a blogger/internet snark site, and their unhinged cruelty about Meghan (and sudden love of Kate after years of snarking on her) was what made me delete my account. I popped back in to see what they were saying, and of course they’re as awful as ever, with the bonus surprise of it becoming a hotbed of MAGA/Trumpers (which was frankly shocking). So of course they’re whining about how she is sharing something “too personal” and also shaming Republicans. Like…if you think that someone calling out the murder of black people, reality of Covid, and crisis of fake news, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

    • Chris says:

      I wish you luck! When I started TTC I was surprised at how much society and the education system failed us in understanding conception and miscarriage. By popular culture and social media posts you would assume EVERYONE gets pregnant the minute they have sex without any form of BC. It’s such BS. It also makes women think they’re infertile if they miscarry or cannot get pregnant right away, which isn’t the case at all. One friend of mine took a year to get pregnant, another is 2 years in and just discovered a treatable issue now. My MIL had multiple miscarriages in her early days and went on to have 3 sons. It didn’t take me too long to conceive relatively speaking, but I just got purely lucky and there’s no magic secret.

      It bothers me when I see youtube videos like, “how I conceived on the first try.” You got lucky. You’re not special. Maybe you’re 22 or something, but it’s nothing you did right that other women are doing wrong. There is no one correct direct path to pregnancy. TTC can be so lonely and emotionally taxing.

      I wish you all of the luck in the world and hope you get that double line ASAP!

    • Mindy_Dopple says:

      I wish you all the luck!! My husband and I were having unprotected sex in hopes of getting pregnant WAY before our wedding and it just wasn’t happening (over two years). I was overwhelmed by all the TTC information out there and that also caused a bit of a delay because then we would just stop trying (depression/anxiety on my side). I’m 7 weeks and honestly, we didn’t do anything different this time versus the last few months, it was just time I suppose. Be patient with yourself, be kind and just breathe. I had purchased the TempDrop armband and just stopped using it because it felt like too much. Instead we just used the ovulation tests and had tons of sex when it showed high fertility (in my husbands words – he was military – to have troops awaiting their objective egg) and once it showed I was ovulating (the second wave of attack). Good luck and remember, be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself as you would a friend or a child.

  16. Sofia says:

    I am truly sorry for her and Harry’s loss and I hope they have and continue to heal. Sorry if this isn’t much, I don’t know what else to say.

  17. Amy Bee says:

    I think it’s brave of her to share her pain even knowing that she’s going to be attacked for it. Miscarriage is a taboo subject and if she can help others, then she done something good. I’m happy that she has regained her autonomy and freedom to share with others when she chooses and not because someone has intruded on or invaded her privacy. This is what she and Harry wanted when they decided to leave the Royal Family. I’ve already learned a lot about how to react to someone who’s had a miscarriage so I’m grateful for her essay today. She and Harry have been through a lot since they met each other and I hope this only makes them stronger.

  18. lolalola3 says:

    I was amazed after my miscarriage how many people have difficulty getting pregnant and/or deal with the heartbreak of a miscarriage. We never talk about it! It’s some kind of secret shame. We are somehow ‘less than’ if we don’t get pregnant immediately or are unable to carry to term. The heart break is huge and stays with you. I’m so sorry they had to/have to deal with this but wow, what a way to turn a tragedy into an opportunity to make a difference in the world.

  19. Cee says:

    I just read her opinion piece and I’m here crying because she managed to convey what a shitty year this has been for everyone in the world, literally. I’ve lost 3 people to COVID and COVID related issues, the last one being a very dear cousin, and was unable to say goodbye or even see them again.

    I’m sorry they had to go through a miscarriage and wish them healing. I don’t know how someone heals from such a loss, but it somehow makes me feel relieved they’re no longer in the UK and inside a palace.

    • Sofia says:

      I’m so sorry for your family loss.

    • SusieQ says:

      @Cee, I am so, so, sorry for your loss. Covid is a traumatizing monster, and too many people are being cavalier about it. It can make a person feel like society is gaslighting all of us who have suffered from it in some way.

      I had it three months ago, and every time I think I’m better, something happens. Yesterday, I was making tea in my kitchen, and my left leg just gave out. I had to sit on the kitchen floor for 15 minutes before I could walk again. I’m less than 2 weeks away from my 35th birthday, and I had to sit on the kitchen floor because my leg couldn’t hold me.

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      I am so sorry for your loss, so many COVID deaths it’s just heartbreaking. I truly hope that 2021 is a better year that 2020, it has to be right?

      @SusieQ, I am so sorry that happened to you. There are so many after COVID health issues and they are just not being discussed enough. I hope you return to full health soon and this is not long lasting.

    • Ann says:

      I’m so sorry for what you’ve endured and for those you know who lost their lives to this pandemic. We are lucky enough not to have lost anyone to it, but my niece had it, my daughter, after being incredibly careful for nine months, eventually caught it anyway and is just now recovering, and my son apparently had it….he tested positive for antibodies, so what he thought was a mild flu was probably Covid. No one is immune, to this or other losses.

  20. Nikki says:

    Like OriginalLala said above, sending love to all the Celebitchies who’ve experienced the sorrow of miscarriage or stillbirth. As Chrissie Teigen’s story showed us, there are MANY of us, and I vividly remember some of your heart rending posts, and hope y’all are ok. Hoping the best for the Sussexes too.

  21. Watson says:

    Her overall message of kindness and to check up on each other was so well written. She is smart and articulate and i sincerely hope that they are able to heal from this. Also: now i hope archewell becomes a charity that supports mental health initiatives. It’s a good fit.

    • lanne says:

      I agree. I think the royal foundation needs to drop mental health as an initiative. Charity begins at home, and if you can’t show attention to the mental health of your own family, what business do you have talking to other people about it?

    • Becks1 says:

      Yes and it really brings home to me how awful the royal family is. I don’t think this was intended as a dig at them exactly, but I think it makes it clear that Meghan has realized over the past 10 months what she was missing when she was in the UK – empathy and sympathy.

      • Ann says:

        They are quite awful. We just finished S4 of The Crown and just….wow. They made me feel badly for Margaret Thatcher. As Prince Edward (Edmund? Sorry if I can’t remember)…..Charles is “Impressively cunty.”

    • Harper says:

      Considering that she was pilloried by the British press and people for commenting in South Africa that no one had asked if she were okay, I commend her for returning to the topic so publicly. She had already been roasted for this in the past yet she steams full speed ahead, not cowed by the British tabs and the likes of Piers Morgan and the Rotten Rota. She is really, really, remarkable.

  22. Angel says:

    Really heartbreaking but I am surprised considered the amount of stress they put her through. The fact that her first pregnancy went so well is even a miracle for me. I sincerely hope her haters are going to have some humanity and start leaving her alone.

    • lanne says:

      Haters lack humanity. Their hate is what drives them, and gives them meaning. They will show their asses to the world because that’s all they can do.

      • Bren says:

        It drives the haters crazy when Meghan shows her humanity. Then they go even lower to objectify her to further justify their irrational hate. It’s sickening.

      • Otaku fairy says:

        Exactly, they really do allow themselves to lose some of their humanity over time, all in their desperation to shout about how they aren’t giving her or other celebrities a pass because of race or gender. Haters (not to be confused with people who just don’t care for her, but aren’t dicks about it) are in a way, ringleaders in stan culture. No matter how much they tell everyone they’re too rational, balanced, wise, mature, etc. to be involved in it. Miscarriage, assault, different forms of abuse, and things like that should not be seen as chances to shame someone for ‘putting herself out there’, or to otherwise mock or inflict pain.

    • Angel says:

      Really sickening ! what have she done to deserve so much hate, whatever she does they find any reason to dehumanize her. This is crazy. I would love to see her sue one of them( those haters on social media) to send a message to the others.

    • Kalana says:

      They won’t. If anything it irritates them that they have to treat Meghan like a person even for a second.

      Anything that they can’t spin to criticize her annoys them. I’ve already seen her labeled as attention-seeking for writing this.

      Meanwhile endless hand-wringing from the same people over The Crown and poor Camilla and Charles. Why are they so eager to support abuse to defend the monarchy? The Windsors would cross the street to get away from them.

    • PrincessK says:

      But we don’t know if her first pregnancy went well. We really just don’t know. I think sh had a tough experience with the pregnancy and childbirth both psychologically and physically but was forced by protocol to adopt a stiff upper lip.

  23. M says:

    The reality is a miscarriage makes you feel like a failure. There is so much shame around something that you have no control over. I am so sorry for Meghan and Harry. The strength it takes to discuss this publicly when they know that people will be cruel to them is unreal. I respect them tremendously. This little family has been through so much in such a short time. I wish for peace and healing to anyone who has suffered likewise.

    • Katie says:

      @m this is so true! As a mom, all you want to do is protect your child and when your body can’t, you feel like a failure. Like so many, I had a miscarriage and I as I said in the Twitter fight I got into with an anti-Meganite, the fact that we don’t talk about it has major negative mental health impact to woman. I spent the entirety of my next pregnancy stealing myself every time I went to the bathroom because I was expecting to see blood. That was agony for 9 months (which thankfully ended in a baby). Only years later did I realize how many of my friends had experiences similar and I wish I had talked to more people about it.

      • Jay says:

        @Katie same! It was a major revelation to me how many of my female friends and relatives had also experienced a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. I was stunned, then weirdly angry — not at them, but at a world that tells us to hide this pain and carry it alone. I hope this article opens more conversations!

    • Betsy says:

      Which is just such a sad thing, the idea that a woman failed. She didn’t fail. They just happen sometimes; maybe with more research we’ll be able to figure out why and prevent some more of them or develop tests to say that “this pregnancy has a 70% chance of failure;” it’s the shocking suddenness of it that is part of the horror.

      • Chris says:

        Many miscarriages happen because of genetic abnormalities that would make it impossible for a fetus to develop into a healthy pregnancy and survive birth. The abnormalities aren’t caused by anything in particular as far as we know, just seems to be the world’s shittiest lottery. Like randomly being hit by an asteroid, just horribly unlucky and nothing a woman does or did caused it.

  24. Lucylee says:

    Praying for them. Had 3 miscarriages 40+ years ago and had to live thru questions about why u only had one child. I want them to spend these times together and love on their little man and continue to bond as a family. I’m not going to read the unhinged comments because it’s damaging to my sense of wellbeing. Had to stop watching Trump for the same reason.

  25. Ginger says:

    My heart breaks for both of them. No one should EVER tell a women what to share regarding a pregnancy. No one.

  26. Myra says:

    It was a heartbreaking read. The fact that she had to centre her pain around what others were also going/has gone through this year, makes this even sadder for me. She understands that when it comes to her, she is not able to talk only about her own grief, or else all kinds of accusation would be levied her way.

    • GuestwithCat says:

      Such a good point. But I think it’s not only necessity, but part of her and Harry’s “mission” to use their life experiences to help try lift others up even as they share their own burdens and pain. So much of what they’ve done for the public has rung true (to us non deranged haters anyway) because it comes from a place of empathy and compassion. If they’ve been through something they share it. If they haven’t, then they have enough empathy to listen and give someone else a chance to be heard. And they never are about taking center stage to themselves, each time they step up, it’s to open an avenue for others to be heard. That’s what I like about them.

      • Myra says:

        No, you’re right. It’s a testament to her character as well. She is empathetic and compassionate. It’s sad that a person like her was/is treated this way. She doesn’t deserve it. I’m glad she and Harry have each other’s support.

      • Ann says:

        Yes, exactly. They take what they have experienced, the good and the bad, and pay it forward. They’re not solipsistic people. As an American I feel lucky to have them! It’s funny, I was never that interested in the Royals. I know many people who are, some of whom really, really surprised me. But I always liked Harry. He just seemed so genuine. Then he got engaged to Meghan, and I knew nothing about her. I had never watched “Suits.” I don’t watch much TV at all, mostly news and a few binge-y cable shows. But I watched their wedding and I followed them, and when they left the Royal fold I supported them and felt for them. I’m so sad for them but so glad she chose to share her story this way, in a way that is personal but also utterly empathetic and about everyone else.

  27. sarah says:

    I’m so glad she is talking about it. I’ve always thought that “not talking about miscarriage” is ludicrous because it isolates people from the support structures that they need when they have suffered a loss (even in the first trimester). I also think the culture of not talking about it is also a form of privilege for those for whom miscarriage is a temporary (but no less devastating at the time) blip in their successful path to making a family. Miscarriage is common, and terribly sad, but the culture of not talking about it is especially painful for those families where the miscarriages are frequent and leading inexorably to the heartbreaking realisation that they may not be able to carry a child. Having to carry that heartbreak in secret – and that secrecy somehow de-legitimising the loss – must be awful.

  28. Pink says:

    I’m not very maternal myself but no woman (or couple for that matter) should feel like they can’t speak about miscarriage or baby loss. Everyone is different and will share what they want to share and they shouldn’t be shamed regardless of their decision.

  29. S808 says:

    I hate this happened, but I’m glad she’s in a place where she can discuss it. There’s so much stigma around discussing miscarriage I commend her for sharing her experience. I’m even more glad she home now, I can’t imagine her going through this in the UK. Assumptions can be harmless but assumptions are also dangerous. You never ever know what someone is going through so it’s best to keep those assumptions to ourselves going forward. I hope her and Harry are in a good place, they’ve been through more stuff in 3 years than some people do in lifetimes.

  30. TheOriginalMia says:

    Very touching and heartbreaking piece. I wish them nothing but love and healing. After everything they’ve been through, they lose a child. I’m glad they are here in the States, surrounded by people who love them and in a place where they feel safe. I’m glad that in this tragedy they had the emotional care they needed.

  31. Beach Dreams says:

    This is so brave of her to share, especially knowing that she’d be attacked by the usual hateful types. This is also why many were worried for her during her pregnancy with Archie. Being under a constant, coordinated attack by the royals and the press could’ve endangered both of their lives.

    • lanne says:

      The hate was intended to endanger their lives. I’m sure of that. Look at all the people talking about wanting Harry to come home without her and Archie. If they continue to bleat for Harry to come home without his family, then they are disgusting beyond words.

    • S808 says:

      Yes, I also remember being really worried for her and Archie while she was pregnant with him. I know in my heart a lot of that abuse was to ensure he didn’t make it but thank goodness he’s 10 toes down on this earth. Wishing that Meghan, Harry and Archie find peace and happiness during this difficult time.

  32. MapleAngel says:

    Oh no! I had so hoped her silence meant a huge project that was going to bowl everyone over. The truth is so painful and sad.
    If I were braver, I would tell people, I have two children, only one living. A baby who miscarries stays in your heart and mind forever.
    Love to Harry Meghan and Archie. I hope they adopt.

    • osito says:

      You are so incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing with us. You’ll share with others if/when you feel ready.

    • PrincessK says:

      Many years ago in my youth l corrected a woman who counted a child she lost in pregnancy as one of her children. I have been haunted by that comment made by myself and others at the time. Only people who have experienced miscarriage can truly understand.

  33. equality says:

    If someone lost a child that was already born, even if very young, nobody would make these type of “it’s a private thing” or “you are only attention-seeking to mention it” comments. Why would anyone think it is inappropriate to mourn a baby even if it wasn’t born yet? And a lot of the comments on social media are probably from those who are anti-abortion. If you consider a baby already a human why is it wrong to grieve publicly for it any more than for any other human?

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      These are really good statements and deserve further expansion. We all support the parents who have lost their living child no matter how long that child was alive, we should be there for those parents who have lost wanted child that was never born. If the person(s) needs to talk about it, we should listen to them and give them room to grieve however they need to.

    • Jenny says:

      As someone who has lost a living child, an infant, people were uncomfortble with it as well. Sometimes people cannot even acknowledge our loss, even family. It might be a larger issue with how we deal with grief in our society; grieving people are a little marginalized and are expected to put on a brave face. It’s definitely something our country will need to grapple with as so many have lost loved ones in the past year.

      • Moxylady says:

        I lost my nephew when he was 26 weeks. He was with us for 10 hours. I never met him. So many refuse to acknowledge or talk about him. But my two little children know about their cousin. I send gifts on his birthday. Playful solar lights for his memorial stone. And I say his name often. It makes everyone uncomfortable- he wasn’t even my baby! But it helps my sister in law. That’s all that matters. She’s his mama ans he’s not here.
        My grandma died at 90. She had a bust of a laughing baby in her room she had bought in the 70’s that looked like her “missing babies”. That’s all she ever said. It wasn’t until they both died that we found out their first child lived for ten days in horrific conditions that he could never survive. Things are getting better but we have failed generations of woman. No more.

  34. Mich says:

    People share losing a pet and the world gathers around them with sympathy and community. But women who lose a child are expected to grieve in silence.

    • Betsy says:

      Good people don’t expect women to grieve in silence. I think there’s just such a wide variability in how women react and people don’t want to cause further pain, even though the awkward silence that usually results is itself painful for many grieving mothers.

      • Moxylady says:

        @betsy that’s not true. People are incredibly uncomfortable with miscarriage and infant loss. Their discomfort makes them defensive. They don’t know what to say and that makes them feel awkward. They hate it. People can be truly awful. They would rather a woman suffer in silence than they learn how to support someone suffering through an unimaginable loss. Fact.

      • Betsy says:

        You and I are saying variations on the same theme, Moxylady.

  35. Thirtynine says:

    I’m glad that she and Harry had private time in the first throes of their grief, and were allowed to choose how and when they wanted to share it. I am glad no tabloid forced itself on on them at that moment to expose their pain when they weren’t ready. So sorry for them, and I hope they are getting on ok.

  36. Midnight@theOasis says:

    It’s so brave of Meghan and Harry to share this information. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and there should be more openness and support for women who experience it. I miscarried 27 years ago and still grieve my child…wondering about what type of person she/he would have been. Happy that H&M are here at home and sending them all the love and support.

  37. AGreatDane says:

    It always struck me as odd that a woman’s miscarriage should be kept private because if a famous woman wears a loose blouse or gains 5 lbs or doesn’t drink alcohol, the speculation about pregnancy is very public. Speaking of which, people need to stop doing that, it turns women into zoo spectacles.

  38. Mel says:

    It’s very sad.

    Everyone copes differently cause everyone’s situation is different. I had two miscarriages after ivf’s in my early 40’s. It was a very isolating experience mostly because people don’t know how to respond with support so it can be easier to keep feelings to a small circle… to avoid the insensitive comments – like ‘you can always adopt’. In the end I conceived naturally and had a beautiful girl who is now an amazing teen. I am sad for my experiences and any one else who experiences loss but I honestly think I appreciate my child more because I know how lucky I am to have her. Here’s to healing for all suffering with infertility or miscarriage. ❤️

  39. Pam says:

    The more women comfortable sharing their loss experiences the better. I’ve had two miscarriages with my daughter in between. I know I shouldn’t but blame myself as I was carrying my then two year old, dancing to Pitch Perfect just before the second loss.

    • CommentingBunny says:

      Please don’t blame yourself. Those are perfectly normal activities, pregnant or not. It wasn’t your fault. I’m so sorry for your loss.

      • Betsy says:

        That’s not your fault, Pam. It is a terrible truth that we just don’t know all that’s happening in the uterus, in the placenta, in the embryo/fetus. We just don’t have the testing. You didn’t do anything wrong.

    • PrincessK says:

      And some people on social media are saying that Meghan at least already has a child and so it’s not that bad, l think it can be even more shocking if you have a successful pregnancy and then miscarry the next one.

  40. TIFFANY says:

    I remember when Brooke Shields came forward with her postpartum depression and how she spoke of it. I think that was the beginning of high profile women speaking of this.

    I for one am glad she and others did and more women are comfortable coming forward. Why? This country has people in power who are trying to take away woman’s decisions and antinomy and other women need to step up and support there fellow women because, it might now have happened to you, but it does not make you exclusive.

    • Lady D says:

      I think it was about two nights later when Tom Cruise went on a night time talk show and called her a drug addict for her confession. I think he also called her weak and implied she was a lousy mother. There was a lot of backlash for him.

    • Nyro says:

      Brooke Shields talking about her postpartum depression was definitely a game changer.

  41. February-Pisces says:

    This is so devastating and I’m so sorry to them for their loss. I’m very proud of her for sharing this it’s so important for women to talk openly about miscarriages. I think a lot of women suffer in silence. I know it’s difficult for women to even confide in their own girlfriends because it always feels as though everyone around you is either pregnant or has had a baby. It’s just make women feel even worse.

    The trolls are out today on twitter but they are being pounced on by supporters which is great to see. I think the ratchet rota are probably mad they can’t really trash her for the next 24hrs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they are plotting ways to twist this against them. I reckon by Friday they will all be back to trashing Meghan and harry again.

  42. Jessica says:

    A beautiful, poignant, heartbreaking and deeply empathetic piece. My heart goes out to Meghan and to Harry. Thank you for helping to erase the stigma around miscarriage, which is actually something that a huge number of women experience, though we often don’t know that because it simply is not talked about. God bless you both.

    As for anyone being critical of her choice to go public, if you haven’t experienced this yourself, you should really humble yourself and be quiet. This tweet thread said it perfectly:

    Wanting privacy has nothing to do with the choice to go public about a matter such as this. This was Meghan’s choice to share. It wasn’t shared by some tabloid reporter via a leak. She’s allowed, as anyone is allowed, to control which information about herself that she wants to be public and which does not. The piece itself has a larger purpose about how we should care about each other and take care of each other, and it’s beautiful.

  43. Candid, moving, and beautifully written piece by Meghan. Sorry for your loss. Wishing you and PHarry only the best.

  44. Kathryn says:

    I suffered 2 miscarriages over 20 years ago (like Meghan I had one son already, thank god). It was weird and isolating – I hadn’t told many people I was pregnant so I mostly suffered in silence. There were some resources about dealing with miscarriage, but not nearly as many as now. I’m glad she’s speaking up and giving voice to something that so many experience

  45. Nev says:

    I’m so sorry Duchess.

  46. tee says:

    For the longest time, I was the type that couldn’t fathom why people shared their stories of loss so publicly because when I was grieving, I didn’t want anyone to know. Over time I realized we all process grief in different ways, and now I truly appreciate being able to hear/read others’ stories bc they give me the consolation of shared experiences, without me having to make myself vulnerable by sharing my story. I admire Meghan so so much, for this and so many other things. Wishing their little family peace and healing.

  47. Edna says:

    So sorry for their loss. My heart aches for them and I pray for their continued healing. I’m not surprised that the haters are out in force, but thankfully others are shutting them down. And so glad this news wasn’t “leaked” by the BRF to the RRs or tabloids so they could monetize and attack H&M.

  48. Loretta says:

    I’m so sorry for her and Harry.

  49. CC. says:

    Meghan is so gentle and soft even in her writing. I feel terrible for thinking she’s pregnant even in my own head! I hope she has very peaceful future pregnancies, if she has them. She deserves a break.

  50. Poisonella says:

    I’m sorry to hear about the miscarriage. The stress was a major contributing factor. I think with Chrissy Tiegen coming forward and sharing her miscarriage experience was a brave thing to do, it is not a little thing you’ll get over.

  51. My3cents says:

    This was such an emotional and sad read.
    It was beautifully written and I hope she knows that her actions and words help and lift people, such a beautiful person inside and out.
    I’m glad they’re away from the UK media circus, and hope they get all the privacy and time they need.

  52. Dalloway says:

    I laid in bed this morning reading her piece and crying for Meghan and Harry, every other couple that has suffered a miscarriage/infant loss, and just the collective loss that 2020 has been.

    It makes me so mad that people are calling her attention-seeking or that this should be private, yet the same people will turn around and badger a woman into when she is going to have a child, how many, at what age, etc. I used to keep my infertility issues and my miscarriage a secret and when people would ask why my husband and I had no kids despite being together for “so long” (we’re just surpassed 10 years) I’d make a joke about it, but in the last couple of years I’ve stopped doing that.

    I’m so grateful Meghan felt she could be open with the world, likely knowing she would still get vile comments. We need to bring women’s health out of the darkness so we can all understand that we’re not alone in our struggles.

    • JanetDR says:

      All of my pregnancies were 30-35 years ago and it was so different. You just didn’t talk about a miscarriage if it was early. I do bring up my ectopic pregnancy now though, in case it is helpful to others. I was ignoring the pain because I thought it was my IBS acting up due to be stressed out over what I thought was an early miscarriage. If it had been on the right side, I would have assumed it was appendicitis and gone to a doctor. The reason, I’m still alive is that it was interstitial (adjacent to the uterus) so that when it ruptured, everything was able to drain out. A piece of placenta implanted afterwards so that my hormone levels indicated that I was still pregnant (when I finally went to a doctor). Not knowing what was happening until the ultrasound was the worst, I didn’t know if I should be hoping or mourning.

  53. Cmd11 says:

    I have to be honest, as a woman who has had two miscarriages, one last year, and has also had the adoption process not work out because of COVID, it is super painful to read these stories about women who do have children and miscarry. Of course their grief and loss is painful and real and tragic. But when you go through it and the outcome is that you will not have children at all it is beyond description. Most of the miscarriage stories I read are about women who have at least one other child.

    • JDub says:

      Not all women. I had 2 miscarriages and a full term stillborn without having children at home.

      • BnLurkN4eva says:

        @Cmd11 and @JDub, I am sorry for both your losses and I am truly sorry you were never able to realize your hope of having children. I imagine it’s another kind of painful to go through losses such as these and in the end not having your dreams come through. Truly sorry to know that’s both your experience, you are not alone, believe me. Consider not being able to get pregnant at all and believing yourself defective no matter how much you try to not do that. This whole area is just painful and needs to be discussed so women feel heard.

      • cmd11 says:

        Thanks for sharing your experience JDub. I can’t even imagine the devastation of a stillbirth. You are amazing for surviving such an unthinkable loss.

  54. nettie says:

    So sad and so very sorry for their loss. I will go read it now.

  55. Jen says:

    I’m so sorry for Meghan, Harry and Archie. It’s a truly horrific thing to go through. I’ve had two miscarriages, with my most recent one in August. I was 12 weeks and it was the day before my first scan (in the UK they don’t scan you until then). So many people have had to go through this alone as partners aren’t allowed at the hospital. On top of this I was asked to still attend the appointment. I can remember sitting in the waiting room with all these very pregnant women and just bawling my eyes out. It makes the grief and pain even worse. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

    • Babz says:

      That is just heartbreaking! I’m so sorry. I lost twins in a bizarre set of circumstances years ago. One made it through, and I miscarried. The other one caused an ectopic pregnancy. In our small rural hospital, the only room available for my privacy was in the “maternity ward” area. A friend of mine was next door having given birth to her son the day before, and was horrified about what was happening to me at the same time. My babies would have been 39 this year. Your words about having to sustain such a loss, and then having to wait among other pregnant ladies resonated with me so much, and my heart just hurts for you. Sending lots of prayers and love as you move through this sad time. It’s a pain and grief so personal and profound, and I wish you well.

    • alibeebee says:

      I am so sorry@ Jen hugs to you …

  56. Rayonlight says:

    Anything she does or says is taken a certain way by different people, the constant attacks, online bullying, and public scrutiny would take a toll on anyone.

    Nothing about her life do I care to have or envy, it’s just too much.

    Sorry for your loss.

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      I agree. The constant attacks on her every move must have an impact and just because she managed to carry safely to term with Archie doesn’t mean that the impact of all she’s had to endure didn’t leave a lasting effect. She’s still being hounded from a continent away, not to mention the online verse that continue to attack her without a end in sight. What this woman has had to go through I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy if I had one.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        You have to wonder if the stress takes a toll medically. It is relentless (though better in the US). Yet those using her for profit or family machinations will feel nothing. We have a lot of numb evil people in the world. Bless her and as I said below I think she is relentlessly brave.

    • L4frimaire says:

      I think she’s been under so much stress and pressure these past few years, both of them have, and you just can’t shed that immediately. While they are moving forward, they have gone through so much, continue to go through so much with the UK contingent constantly dogging them, and whatever other stresses they may have. I hope they have another child because that’s what they want. I’m glad they postponed the trial and just hope they take care of each other in the meantime. Meghan knew she’d get a lot of criticism for her Op-Ed but it has resonated with so many people globally. It addressed not just the miscarriage but what we all have been going through this difficult year.

  57. yinyang says:

    That’s so sad. It must have been hard for them having no one to turn to.

    • Chica says:

      Doria is alive, local, willing, and competent. I’m sure she’s showered them with the love and support only a well adjusted mother could

      • Lorelei says:

        Truly, thank goodness this happened when they were in California and not still subject to that awful family. Having Doria there probably saved her sanity. And they never would have allowed her to write a piece like this, which will end up helping so many other women.

  58. Miranda says:

    “So many women AND MEN go through this and they have the right to grieve however they want.”

    Thank you for including men in that statement. This is one of those rare situations when “what about the menzzzzzz” is actually a good point. They are just as devastated as their partners, and I think in some ways it can be even worse for them, because while women are “allowed” to cry and openly grieve, there’s pressure on men to remain stoic (one of the better examples of this are athletes who are criticized by fans and journalists for sitting out a game after a partner’s miscarriage). Now that women are increasingly comfortable with publicly discussing their loss, we need men to step up, too (thank you, John Legend!)

    I would add that children suffer, too. The tragedy can alter their parents’ personalities and moods, which can be confusing and hurtful for the kids. Also, many of them are excited to be a big brother or sister, and to see that prospect snatched away is crushing for them. Last year, my fiance’s ex lost her baby at 7 months, and she told me that explaining it to their 7-year-old daughter was the hardest thing she ever had to do. The poor little girl was so upset that she actually missed a week of school.

    As a side note, Meghan is such an intelligent, articulate, compassionate woman, and the royal family are even bigger idiots than I already thought for throwing her away. They’re wasting her gifts, just as they wasted Diana’s.

  59. Case says:

    I’m so sorry for their loss. As Chrissy Teigen very rightly stated, it doesn’t matter how most people react to women sharing about their miscarriages and infant loss – it only matters how the people who have experienced it and take comfort in sharing stories feel. That is all that matters. I wish Meghan and Harry healing.

  60. lowercaselila says:

    Beautiful words from Meghan on pregnancy loss, a fractured society, and how to start to heal.

  61. Valiantly Varnished says:

    It is really brave of her to talk about this publicly knowing that there will be racist trolls and racists who will attack her for it. And this is also why I am so loathe to publicly speculate about women being pregnant.

  62. one of the Marys says:

    I’m happy for her to share this since that’s what she wanted to do. I think she’s at the point where she’s going to do what she wants in spite of the fall out. I think she got there a lot sooner than Harry. my take on the situation is Its harder for him because it’s his home country and family that are treating them so poorly. Yes in a year of losses this really hurts. Imagine them celebrating for his cousin Eugenie and allowing her to move into their more spacious, modern home while mourning their own loss. The royal reporters are really just digging their own grave when it comes to Harry

  63. Liz version 700 says:

    I am so very sorry for her and Harry’s pain. The web already has some snarky people making awful comments. She is relentlessly brave and beautifully human. My mom had 2 miscarriages. One before me and one after me. She said the pain of it almost stopped her from trying for the final pregnancy that gave our family my twin brothers. I am so glad/amazed that she is using even this intense personal pain to fight for a better future.

  64. Mel says:

    To add to my comment earlier, I was in the process of adopting when I found out I conceived naturally. It was just insensitive when ppl dismissed my miscarriages, like they didn’t matter, by suggesting I could adopt. Like wow. I didn’t want to sound dismissive of adoption which is in my opinion a very beautiful thing. And not that easy or accessible for regular ppl either…

  65. BnLurkN4eva says:

    This is so, so sad. I just felt like hugging her and them when I saw the Africa documentary and now I feel like hugging them both because after escaping from gilded hell, they should have had only joy in their lives. Unfortunately, this is one of the awful tragedies in life made especially worse by this the most unfortunate year of our existence. Thanks for sharing Meghan and for your continued compassion towards others and for remaining so hopeful still.

  66. Amelie says:

    How heartbreaking for Harry and Meghan and how brave of Meghan to share it with the world. This is exactly why I refused to debate over whether she was pregnant or not and I was very uncomfortable with the bump watch here and on other websites. I’m so glad Meghan was able to be home and near her mom during this time. She would have been so isolated during COVID in the UK, I’m so glad she and Harry ignored all the criticism and did what was best for them back in January. I’m really surprised this didn’t leak and I wonder just how much Harry and Meghan shared with the BRF. I know Zara has had miscarriages and Sophie I think admitted she had an ectopic pregnancy, so she isn’t the first member of the BRF to admit to a loss. But she did it in the most powerful way.

    I don’t know if they’ll ever plan to have more children but I’m just so glad the both of them are away from the pit of vipers and have some peace if another pregnancy were to occur.

  67. cc says:

    I remember someone asking Harry, if he wants more kids, and he said something like, “not right now, if it happens it happens”. It makes so much sense now. So sad for them.

  68. Betsy says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of their loss, and I’m sorry for all the women experiencing the same right now.

  69. Harla says:

    I wonder if when the family was informed of this, they were also told if it leaked their precious institution would be burned to the ground? I can easily see Harry issuing threats around this tragedy.

  70. Naomi says:

    given that the windsors knew about meghan & harry’s loss, this makes all the crap thrown at them by BP & KP in the past few months all the worse — especially the whole wreath debacle from a couple weeks ago!!! so cruel, so heartless.

  71. Boobra says:

    what is infuriating and disgusting is you still come across DailyFail trolls who are determined to cast aspersions on her miscarriage, some calling it a public stunt, others callously telling her to “get over it”.

    i was soooooo FRIKKEN UPSET when i read those types of comments. how dare they still dissect her pain and continue to make a mockery of her.

    i can only imagine the damage control coming from all the Palace courtiers …will they spin a pity remorseful story, waving a white flag and telling Harry and Meghan all is forgiven, come home?

    or will life continue as normal for those determined to ignore her existence and will they keep their focus on wills and kate?

    either way, this new revelation absolutely should shake the very foundation of the way social media has hounded Meghan at every single angle. the same way they did to diana till her last days. How big a part did negative social media, trolls and convenient Palace leaks have in placing immense pressure and stress on Meghan which could have caused the miscarriage?

    • one of the Marys says:

      @Boobra unfortunately I don’t think it will change how the reporters and haters operate but what is changing is the pushback by the public against the trolling comments. There may come a tipping point where the reports lose support but what the hell is it going to take??

      • lanne says:

        I wonder that sometimes too. The death of Diana wasn’t enough. Hounding Harry and Meghan out of the country wasn’t enough. How many more people will suffer just because they have the bad luck to fall in love with someone in that family, or the bad luck of being born into that family. Being born a Windsor is NOT a blessing, and to think what awaits George Charlotte and Louis in the future is horrifying to imagine.

    • Islandgirl says:

      My thoughts and prayers are with Meghan and Harry.
      I am grateful that they had the time and space to process this and to reveal it when they were ready.
      It would be unforgivable If the family knew and still behaved as they did between July and now with the petty leaks to the media.

  72. Digital Unicorn says:

    #areyouok is currently trending on UK twitter in support of Meghan and Harry’s heartbreak.

    • February-Pisces says:

      That is what you call making a positive change in the world. X

    • Nyro says:

      She answered that simple and kind question and the BM mocked and dragged her for it. The royals dropped them like a bad habit because of it. And now she’s taken that hatred that was thrown her way and turned it into something positive, benefiting everyone who’s having a tough time right now. She’s brilliant and I admire her so much.

    • Ann says:

      That’s so good to hear!

  73. osito says:

    This is heartbreaking news. I wish the three of them love, and gentleness, and peace throughout their healing.

    To anyone else out there struggling with infertility/loss or unplanned pregnancy (different situation, but still grief-inducing), I wish the same.

  74. February-Pisces says:

    I’m getting really mad thinking how the British media, royal family and trolls did nothing but bully Meghan when she was pregnant with archie. If they had known she was pregnant with baby no 2, they would have done the same again, and the press coverage would have been worse. She has had to deal with this constantly for the last 3 years. I feel so angry that they collectively achieved what they wanted to do to archie. They all have blood on their hands.

    • S808 says:

      Seeing them all discuss her miscarriage makes me absolutely sick. I hate all of them and hope they get back all the bad energy they put out into the world 1000x worse.

    • Emmitt says:

      Who’s to say they didn’t? After all July was when the drones were after Archie and when they were cutting holes in Tyler Perry’s fence/bushes to get pictures of them.

  75. lili says:

    To be honest I think the world finally united and everywhere I read the words of support.
    That must be so brutal but miscarriages happens a lot that why I’m scared when people say “I’m expecting, it’s third month”. I don’t want to be insensitive but I wonder if she will try again and at what cost (being horrified). She isn’t getting any younger and it’s traumatic and they already have Archie. Like.. it’s a very difficult decision. My friends risked it because it was supposed to be their firstborn. Meghan and Harry really had a difficult time and wanted a bigger fun family.
    I’ll throw shade at Jessica. Blabbing about Meghan in the press IF she knew about this ordeal is even more narcissistic.

    • lanne says:

      My guess is she didn’t know—she’s likely out of the circle of trust. Her narcissism is a burden Meghan and Harry don’t need right now.

      • lili says:

        Yeah, her “Meghan is checking up on ME” supports your theory. Otherwise it’s very in poor taste. I’m not a native English speaker but I think you don’t need to be to read this as I did. Another burden to get rid of. I wish H&M have and will have new better friends. Although those bad friends are louder than quiet discreet supportive one so we’ll never know.

      • Nic919 says:

        I don’t think she’s been close with her for a while. Sure her kids were in the wedding party but Jessica ramped up the “friend of Meghan” even more after the wedding and I think they started to distance. To me it was very interesting that Jessica did not take a lead role in the baby shower. That’s usually the kind of thing a best friend sets up and she was invited but not important.

  76. alibeebee says:

    what a moving piece.. i teared up a little reading. coming from someone who has struggled to remain pregnant. suffering 4 back to back miscarriages ( that i suffered through silently and alone ) and then years of medical intervention with no luck nothing working … and now at 45 to finally be pregnant naturally as a complete surprise .. I am terrified beyond words, but if the worst happens again I hope I can feel more at ease to talk about it. and hopefully someone can ask if I am okay . Meghan’s piece was a comfort . she’s such a beautiful soul and I wonder why can’t everyone see it?! I hope she is healing and the pain is getting easier to bear any loss is hard none is greater than the other .. I’ve been in her shoes and my heart is with her.

    • Boy says:

      Hey,virtual hugs. I look forward to hearing about the birth of your baby. I’m invested and rooting for you and the baby. Sending you both lots of good vibes

    • Miranda says:

      A few years ago, my former stepmom, with whom I’m still close, got pregnant naturally at 49. It was a shock, and she was incredibly anxious and scared, but a lot of terrible people didn’t care about her feelings and thought it was appropriate to lecture her about how “selfish” it was to have kids at her age. She’s a tough broad and was able to brush it off, but the way she was treated just infuriated me,

      (Happy ending, though; she gave birth to a big ol’ 10lb baby boy who is now a healthy, bright, inquisitive, and almost exhaustingly active 5-year-old. Take care of yourself (to state the obvious) and you can have a similar outcome. Best wishes!)

    • sunny says:

      I’m so happy for you! What a difficult and heartbreaking journey you’ve been on. I hope you have lots of support in your life. Wishing you all the best!

    • Babz says:

      I’m so happy for you! You’ve been through hell, no wonder you’re terrified and nervous! I am sending you all the love and light and prayers and positive thoughts that I can!!

    • Harper says:

      @alibeebee Wishing you joy and peace as your baby/miracle grows. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

    • PrincessK says:

      Wishing you all the very best.

    • Donna B. says:

      Congratulations to you & your family! Get plenty of rest & enjoy yourself. Best wishes & take care.

    • Pam says:

      What wonderful news! Wishing you all the best! I had my only at 39. Be warned – I think they suck your energy at night lol.

      • alibeebee says:

        I think so .. I am so exhausted duringthe day .. I’m working from home and instead of eating lunch on my lunch break, I’m napping. I want this so bad I can taste it literally 13 years in the making ,.. I am so very very frightened and elated.

        This piece meghan wrote make me feel that whatever happens I’ll be ok. I’,m not alone …

  77. Abena Asantewaa says:

    My heart is heavy with sadness for Harry&Meghan. The piece is eloquently written, what a brilliant gifted writer. So sorry for their loss. Wishing them all God’s grace and favour.

  78. MsIam says:

    I wish Meghan, Harry, Archie, Doria and all those who love them the best. Be well and hold each other close! As for the trolls, be bitter and choke on it!

  79. KatharinaV says:

    She truly is one amazing woman. I will never understand why people are giving her such a hard time. Obviously, I don’t know her personally but I have not once seen her do anything that could justify those vile comments. On the contrary, she seems to be doing a lot of good, meaningful work.
    All the best to their family.

    • lanne says:

      Racisms a helluva drug. You see people’s true colors when black people enter traditionally white spaces. White people can’t admit that racism is the reason for their anger, so they invent a reason to justify their hatred. Hence the nonexistent protocols Meghan broke, making good Kate cry, sassing the courtiers, attention seeking accusations, etc. they have to impugn her character because they can’t face the truths about themselves. Ask any Meghan hater to come up with an itemized list of her supposed sins and they can’t do it without resorting to completely fake slanders. A lie repeated often enough, in this case, becomes true. Racism is a cancer that infects too many people, and we’re only now taking baby steps to treat that cancer.

      • VS says:

        First of all, I am so sorry for the CB readers sharing their personal loss; I am sending you all virtual hugs and lot of courage. I am so glad this opinion piece has sparked this conversation. I am also very sorry for Meghan and Harry; this is heartbreaking

        Onto her piece, it is really beautifully written……it is so great of her to find the courage to write such a loss and share it with the world

        @Lanne — as far as the haters are concerned, it is racism + a lot of isms but also envy. Meghan’s excellence is such a stark contrast to them and especially Kate, the poor soul they see themselves into. They wish Kate receive the attention Meghan got by writing this piece not from trolls but from professional and high performing men and women. They want the world to acknowledge Kate the way it does Meghan.
        What they do not understand is Meghan’s excellence, eloquence, talent, drive, empathy, compassion, charisma are what attract people. Those things cannot be bought even with a title!

      • KatharinaV says:

        @lanne and @vs
        I have learned so much from this site – being white in a primarily white country (where a lot of people insist that racism is not a thing – they are so wrong!)
        And you are so right! Thank you for putting this so clearly. Apparently being kind and human is not the most important thing to some people.
        It still stays a mystery to me, however, why people become racists? Why the hate? Because they feel threatened by a beautiful, accomplished woman?? Apparently so.

  80. paddingtonjr says:

    My heart goes out to all those who have lost someone, whether at two weeks or a hundred years. This year has been difficult for all of us, to varying degrees, and has not been helped by the deep divisions in our society, at a time when we should be coming together and helping each other.

    I am truly sorry for Harry, Meghan and Archie’s loss. H&M have been through so much together in the last four years and the fact that they are not only still together, but remaining true to who they are and helping others, is a testimony to the strength of their characters. I hope they are able to grieve and continue to live their lives in the best way for them.

  81. Bella says:

    Poor Megan (and Harry of course.) I’m glad she feels able to talk about it. Very brave.

  82. StrawberryBlonde says:

    Unfortunately many of us know that physical and emotional pain of a miscarriage. I had one in summer 2018. I always couch it by saying it was very early (5-6 weeks) but it was still very painful physically and emotionally. It was my first pregnancy and I was 36. I *knew* it “wasn’t my fault” but I was so worried that it was my one chance and I would never get pregnant again. I did eventually and had a son. But the miscarriage made me so so so anxious that entire pregnancy. I did not announce it publicly until after the 20 week ultrasound and was nervous until he was born. (Then PPD after). I didn’t tell many people about my miscarriage bc I am pretty private. I told my parents, BIL, and a few close friends. But I found a lot of support online in the TTC/early pregnancy community. Once I had my son and found some mom friends it came up again and I was astounded how many people had miscarriages/infertility and PP mood disorders. Also, my husband was very sad too about the miscarriage. It was a loss for him as well. He says mostly he was worried about me and my mental health. I commend Meghan for talking about it, if it helps her. I am so sorry for both Meghan and Harry.

  83. TheOriginalMia says:

    I’m so happy we have this site to speak with candor and empathy about our own sorrows. To all of you who have had miscarriages or infertility, hugs and prayers.

    I made the mistake of going to another site and even though, I knew going in there would be no sympathy for Meghan, I was shocked by the replies. People can’t put aside their own issues/racism to find a bit of sympathy for a couple who lost a child. Instead, they couch their fake concern for her with bashing her for sharing her pain and asking others to care and have empathy for their fellow man. I’m just disgusted with the human race.

    • PrincessK says:

      Even as an older woman with children l have learned a lot through the stories shared here. Thanks to Meghan and everyone here.

  84. RoyalBlue says:

    Terribly sorry to hear about her loss. My heart goes out to her and all the celebitchy posters who have experienced a miscarriage. hugs.

  85. Beatriz says:

    The Duchess of Sussex recognizes first that we are all human, and that it’s important that we all see each other as such before we see titles, money, accomplishments, education, etc.

    My best to her and Harry, and my sincerest thoughts towards their healing.

  86. L4frimaire says:

    I’m so sorry they had to go through that and it was a beautifully written piece, brought me to tears (not that it’s hard to these days). This has been such a tough year for so many of us. I can’t imagine them having this personal tragedy, on top of the piling on they usually get. Was really nice to see all the support they are getting, drowning out the bitter trolls. I think that while the whole baby bump watch is intrusive, especially in light of this sad news, I think most of it is from a good place of just wanting them to grow their family and be happy. I’m glad she was able to announce this news on her own time, with the support of her husband, mother and friends, in a place where she felt much safer and supported than she would have if they were still in England. It’s sad news but wishing them all the best and sending love and good vibes their way.

  87. Julia K says:

    At almost 40 years old Meghan knows she is running out of second chances. This makes it even more heartbreaking. It is a sign of strong mental health to openly express one’s feelings, and shrug off the certain backlash from the haters. More power to her. Sending hugs.

    • Lanie says:

      She’s 39. Not menopausal. Miscarriage is more common among women of all ages than people think it is. So much so, that many women technically miscarry before they even realize they are pregnant.

      It does no good to fearmonger about women in their late 30s/early 40s running out of chances. This is along the lines of those 90s/early aughts Sylvia Hewitt think pieces about getting pregnant by any crummy man before it’s “too late!!!”

      • Liz version 700 says:

        Yes and women who have carried full term are significantly more likely to conceive in their 40’s including my sister-in-law

      • Julia K says:

        True; however the 22 year old has more time/ chances to conceive than a 39 year old. I was pointing that out. Fertility declines as we get older.

  88. Nyro says:

    My heart breaks for her and Harry. What a beautifully written essay and it’s amazing to see how she’s already inspired so !any other women to share their stories. Duchess of Impact! I wish nothing but happiness for them both, they truly deserve it. And I’m so glad she was able to control the narrative here in America. He news here has been nothing but positive and supportive. Such a change from Brexit Island.

  89. Dl says:

    I love this little family. My heart breaks for them.

  90. cc says:

    As I keep thinking about this, I remember it was about that time she did the “save with stories”. I remember the disgusting comments on Instagram. People telling her she was a horrible mother and that they should remove the child from her and many more disgusting things.

    She is a strong woman. I really feel for both of them

  91. Monica says:

    I’ve recently started making a point of commenting at this site because it’s a refuge from all the bewildering Meghan hate. She and Harry are among my favorite celebs and I am just heartbroken for them now. People will question this, as if such privileged people don’t deserve compassion and I just don’t get it.

    • Lady D says:

      There are times when this site is a genuine sanity saver.

    • Ann says:

      I just found this site a couple of weeks ago and it’s awesome! Thank you all for starting it and keeping it a safe space. I have always liked Harry and Meghan, they were the only Royals who interested me, so seeing them attacked was really upsetting. On their behalf, of course. It’s bewildering, frankly. Meghan was really GOOD at doing the things Royals do. She always looked amazing, stylish but not trendy. She smiled and connected and was poised and smart. Who wouldn’t want her? I have a law school classmate who moved to the UK and has now lived there for twenty years with her English husband and their two kids. She chalks it all up to racism, pretty much. So glad they got the Hell out of there.

  92. Truthiness says:

    My heart goes out to them. And also all the celebitches with losses. I hope the people here in the US and Canada can provide the solace and support that H & M deserve.

  93. velvet72 says:

    I saw the OpEd early this morning and admit I got teary eyed. I wasn’t expecting that to be part of it. I hope that they have found some peace and that if they choose to try again that she has a successful full term pregnancy. I made the mistake of going to dlisted. Michael K wrote a nice post but man, those comments. So many “I feel bad for her BUT…” and one incredibly crass “joke” that really should be taken off. The vitriol on that site is horrifying and the mods don’t do a thing about it.

    • Midnight@theOasis says:

      I made the same mistake. Michael K’s post was well written but oh those comments. There’s snark and then there’s just hate. Sadly, the MAGA brigade has taken over and the comments on that site are on par with the Daily Mail.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        Yeah I used to love Michael K but I can’t read that site anymore because the comments are horrid

  94. GuestWho says:

    There are relatively few people in the world who can tap into the emotions of people who are in pain, who are marginalized, and who are suffering with true empathy. I think Meghan is one of them. Her op-ed has been received as you would expect. As brave and honest by people of general good will (the woke), and as self-serving and syrupy by those of sh*t will (largely Brexiteers and MAGAts). She rattles those that hate her because they really lack the ability to feel empathy and they simply cannot understand it – so they bash at it like petulant toddlers.

    Her speaking out about her miscarriage is exactly in line with what she has always done. She will say her truth in language that includes those she cares about – those in pain, marginalized and who are suffering. She does it when she knows she’ll get crapped on for saying it and for the way she’s saying it.

    Some of the comments on twitter left me just breathless at the vileness. The people who hate her have been well trained by the tabloids. Ship and Palmer (and others) all telling people that this isn’t the time or place for evil comments without an ounce of irony for the fact that this is what they primed their followers for – they have been so thorough in their job that she can’t get a modicum of sympathy from some very specific quarters for a heartbreaking loss.

    On the other hand, I have seen a lot of push back from people not generally into royal twitter calling out the hate. It’s not much, but it’s something. CNN’s brief coverage this morning was pretty good. Jon Berman called her a leader who had been marginalized in the UK (paraphrasing).

    I hope her words brought some comfort to those who have experienced the same. So may woman go through this – I have (with great support thankfully – but I still didn’t widely share it), and I didn’t realize the number of miscarriages is so high! Why don’t we all know this!! It would certainly lift the weight of guilt/feeling like a failure knowing the percentage of lost pregnancies. I’m grateful a discussion is happening and hopeful that woman will find solace and comfort in being able to talk about it openly and honestly.

    I also hope 2021 brings M&H great joy and healing. In fact, I hope it’s a year of joy, relief, reevaluating, and healing for all of us. We really f’ing deserve it.

    • Monica says:

      Psychoanalysts say that we hate in others what we can’t stand in ourselves. Openness, vulnerability and standing up for oneself are anathema to emotionally stunted people.

      GuestWho, I’m sorry for your loss.

  95. ABritGuest says:

    I’ve seen so many women AND men share their stories of a miscarriage & it’s been heartbreaking. Much light and love for all the posters here who have shared their experience too.

    Guess bump watchers weren’t wrong during that Homeboy visit with the apron 😢

    It’s claimed the royal family knew and were supportive. Nothing says support like not pushing back on stories that only Harry is welcome back, harry& Meghan have thrown the Cambridges kids under the bus, how betrayed they are by the Netflix deal or saying negative Meghan stories couldn’t be denied because they were ‘true’ or leaking to press the refusal to lay the wreath.

    • Watson says:

      Totally. Nothing says support like not allowing Harry to place a wreath for Remembrance Day. This family is a pack of wolves who would gladly eat their own for shits and giggles.

    • BnLurkN4eva says:

      I believe only a trusted few knew about this and am willing to bet that the leaking faucets were not told, which the only reason it was kept a secret. There’s no way that this wouldn’t have ended up being delivered to the tabloids if certain people in that family knew about it.

  96. Carmen says:

    Grandparents suffer too. My daughter in law had a miscarriage six years ago. I still remember the pain I felt for her, my son and myself when my son gave me this very sad news.

    • Harla says:

      @Carmen, yes I can only imagine how Doria must be feeling watching her daughter and son-in-law suffer through this. Plus, I bet Doria was so thrilled at the thought of having another grandchild. When this happens there is so much suffering.

  97. Eleonora says:

    This means such a big deal to people.

    Thank you, Meghan, for all the people you help with this.

  98. Sass says:

    This is heartbreaking.

  99. Sunnyvale says:

    I have no words. I honestly cant imagine reading yet another tragic news in 2020. I feel for them and thankfully they are in the US with real friends and family. I’ll keep them in my prayers. This will make their bonds stronger. I hope they stay strong and prioritise their health and happiness over the backstabbing losers back home. I now understand why they were kind enough to host Eugenie and Jack in FC😭

  100. Zaya says:

    My heart goes out to everyone who ever had a miscarriage. I vividly remember my mother having one when I was little. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a little brother. I also remember my grandma and aunt blaming my mother about it. They said that my mother shouldn’t have been wearing. It was utter rubbish. They didn’t say it to her face of course, but since I was young, I guess they thought it was ok to speak like that in front of me and that I wouldn’t understand what they were saying. They were wrong. I understood. Even as a child, I knew what they were saying was wrong.

  101. StrawberryBlonde says:

    Zaya – my gramma had a miscarriage in the 1950s. She had one child, my dad, in 1952 when she was 35, almost 36. Then she got pregnant again and it ended in miscarriage. Her FIL, my awful great grandfather blamed her to her face. Such a jerk.

  102. Jezebel's Lacefront says:

    My heart goes out to her and Harry. I can’t imagine going through that pain. However, people on social media are showing their cruelty with their awful words towards her. She deserves a break.

  103. Abby says:

    I saw the Instagram post about this talking about asking “are you ok” and gasped when I saw her sharing about her loss. How heartbreaking. How awful to experience that loss while your husbands family continues to be so hateful and petty.

    I cannot stand the royal family now. Awful people.

  104. BeGoneOrangeCheeto says:

    My mom had at least eight miscarriages. She always wanted a big family but it wasn’t in the cards. I can’t imagine how painful it was for her – she didn’t talk about it much. I’m so sorry for Meghan and Harry but I think their sharing will help others to see that there should be no stigma around this. There’s nothing women do “wrong.”

    I hate that they’re getting hate for sharing.

  105. Liz version 700 says:

    We have two stories about the Royals today. Meghan share her heartbreaking miscarriage to encourage this topic to be shared. She asks us to check if our friends are OK in a powerful message. And Kate changes her makeup. This really tells us everything g we need to k is about this family. I am so glad they left. I would never go back. They are a nest of vipers.

  106. blunt talker says:

    When I heard this story on the news early this morning-my heart sanked and ached for the Sussex family-Anyone who is critical or mean-spirited towards someone going through this type of pain-hell will have a place for you-you can count on that-I wish this family nothing but the best and to continue to heal and thrive .

  107. Gingerbee says:

    I am glad that Meghan is with her mother and people she can depend on. So sad, and I am seeing a lot of people opening up about their own painful losses.

    Those three words “Are you ok” are powerful. I had a accident at the December 31st, 2019, which was the fifth anniversary of my mother passing. Even though my job knew about it, there was no follow up from my superiors as to my well being, and I felt let down. Even though out 2019, when I was going to PT, I was not ask “are you ok”.

  108. blunt talker says:

    one more thing to say-this is not anything critical-no doubt the royal family knew-Kate’s visit with mother’s who have miscarried back in October-I think Meghan is brave to open up because other high profile women have opened up-this should not be taboo-a lot women I know who went through this=never really forget it-its something that stays in their mental consciousness and they tend to speak about it sometimes-you can sometimes hear the grief in their voices-a very sad experience for anyone no matter what family they come from.

  109. Luna Love says:

    That must’ve been heartbreaking. At least they were there fir each other. Soulmates.

  110. Juju says:

    Miscarriages are extremely common. We need to normalize them.

  111. Jess says:

    This breaks my heart for them, what a year they’ve had. I hope they’re able to conceive again with no issues, the press will have a field day otherwise.

  112. Gail says:

    Their pain of losing their child has broken me . I feel so incredibly sad for them . May they find peace . I pray that anyone who goes through the loss of a child can find some peace. My heart is with all of you .

    I further want to add that I don’t appreciate people like piss Morgan and Victoria Arbiter and Lorraine and all the other racist gutter press trying to act sincere like they actually care. Let’s be honest. You didn’t care when she was pregnant with her first born .
    So please no need for your false sympathy now . Allow her, her husband ,her son and her mom to grieve sincerely with thoughts and prayers from those of us who truly care and support them . They have been through more than enough thanks to the likes of you racist .

    • L4frimaire says:

      I find this so offensive that these professional trolls and stalkers would dare to comment. They should just say no comment and tell people to read the article. They really are disgusting with their backhanded, smirking comments, especially that hag Angela Levin. As for all those haters celebrating her pregnancy loss, they can rot. What do they expect will happen next? The Sussexes will move on, try to have another child or not, and keep on with their lives.

    • Nev says:

      WORD UP.

  113. Nins says:

    I see Kate writing a “piece” in the near future… because she is so innovative like that.

    • swirlmamad says:

      She could’ve written a piece or spoken out about suffering with HG years ago… that would’ve been innovative and relatable. Alas, no.

  114. Lizzie says:

    Any words of comfort or support from the rf? They are probably too busy crying over The Crown.

  115. zinjazin says:

    I am just a casual observer and went over to DM to read the comments. That was really upsetting!!! The things they said about her it is unbelievable!! One comment was ” let her express her feelings in her own words” that was all, and got like 1600 doenvotes??
    Wtf for real??
    Some lunatic said she was “hideous”. Like wooow say what you will, dont have to fawn over her, but she is obviously beautiful!!
    What is wrong those troll?? Why so much hate.
    I think she is incredibly strong and it truly speaks to her character that she came out with this essay regardless. Made me cry.
    Big kudos.

  116. Ennie says:

    They want to bully her into silence. Nope, not this woman!
    I am confident that her and Harry are carving a nice life for themselves, bullies be damned. I am truly sorry for that other site. Never been a fan of the comments, but whomever lets those comments fly is truly disgusting. One thing is to be supposedly critical, other to be plainly offensive.
    Thankful for the CB, such an oasis.

  117. Jen says:

    Remember all those stories about how Harry looks sad and lonely in the States?
    1. This is a reason to be sad
    2. Even without this tragedy …what The Windsors and the Markles have done to both of them would make me sad

  118. There’s this mean comment in the DF “that she would so publicly describe this sad event and relay nothing about the birth of her son, which was a joyous event.” Maybe she didn’t want to share the joyous event of Archie’s birth because most of the British rota, in their heart of hearts, wanted her to miscarry and rejected the idea of a biracial Royal baby. She didn’t want them to rain on her parade and concoct hostile, spiteful and false stories surrounding the birth of her son. This time she shared a sad event which she wanted to share in her own words, in her own narrative. No more, no less. Nobody can spin it otherwise.