Katy Perry: ‘Nobody talks about the first six weeks after you have the baby’

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While Katy Perry’s pregnancy came as a “surprise” when she did announce it, she also telegraphed the fact that she was preparing herself for big changes. Remember that? She went to therapy, she started talking about meditation a lot, and it just felt like she was trying to change her life and make everything have a different energy for the next chapter. She spent most of her pregnancy in lockdown because of the pandemic and she gave birth to her Virgo baby in late August last year. She hadn’t talked about the birth or the first months with the baby until very recently. She chatted with Jimmy Kimmel this week:

During a Monday chat on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the singer told host Jimmy Kimmel that having her daughter, Daisy Dove, now 5 months, was “the best decision I ever made in my entire life.” Perry, 36, also confirmed to the host that having Daisy was, in fact, a conscious decision for her and partner Orlando Bloom, saying that she has “family, support and an incredible fiancé” by her side as she navigates new motherhood.

“He’s done this before, he has a 10-year-old son — so as much as I was like, ‘I don’t need to hear all those stories,’ they actually helped,” she continued of Bloom, 44. “[It's] like, ‘Oh, you’ve had a run of this, you know how to do this.’ So he’s been amazing, incredible, and we’re so in love and so grateful,” Perry raved.

The “Never Worn White” singer went on to praise her fiancé for being “such a great support” in the delivery room, right down to multitasking (i.e., being by Perry’s side while also managing to film some of the experience). “We had a little boombox. He was there and he was so wonderful, and just holding my hand and looking into my eyes,” she told Kimmel, 53.

Later, sharing more details of daughter’s name, the American Idol judge said, “Daisy, to me, means purity, and Dove means peace and Bloom feels like it means joy, so it’s very, ‘Pure, peace and joy.’ ”

The singer also called for more attention on the postpartum period, revealing that she “could not wipe [her] own butt” right after giving birth. “Nobody talks about the first six weeks after you have the baby. Oh my God, that’s wild, what a roller coaster!” Perry said.

[From People]

A lot of people talk about what happens to a woman’s body postpartum, but I get Katy’s larger point, which she’s been making in several different interviews, which is that we really do need a different way to talk and think about motherhood and going back to work. I feel like Katy’s perspective of “nobody talks about this” is coming from the fact that she went back to work at American Idol like five weeks after Daisy was born. Which is way too soon! People expect new moms to act like Wonder Woman two seconds after giving birth and women internalize that sh-t and they’re like “why isn’t anyone talking about how f–king hard this is?”

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Photos courtesy of Katy’s IG.

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62 Responses to “Katy Perry: ‘Nobody talks about the first six weeks after you have the baby’”

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  1. Kate says:

    that does not look like Katy in the top photo with gold outfit.
    I’m really happy for her that she’s loving motherhood so much. And Agree, the first 6 weeks are intense. So many emotions in addition to the physical recovery which is not pleasant for many people.

  2. Becks1 says:

    the first 6-8 weeks are so intense – your body is recovering, you’re figuring out feeding schedules (whether BFing, pumping, or formula), you’re exhausted, and you have this little thing clinging to you and with my oldest, it felt like he was either sleeping, nursing or crying. (my second was a bit of an easier baby, or else I was a more relaxed mother, or a combo of both.) I was SPENT. I had some PPD, and it was just rough.

    I was one of the first in my circle of friends to have a baby and I was always so upfront with them about how hard those first few weeks are – and not for the reasons you may expect. I think it gets talked about somewhat, but not enough to prepare you for the emotions and the physical and mental exhaustion .

    • MadMangoMal says:

      Me too, at being one of the first to have a baby. A friend has an now six month old and another friend is in her last weeks of pregnancy and I told them all the grossest, darkest stuff I can remember. They are notified but also appreciate that I won’t let them go into it blindly, like I feel I did. Even watching all the YouTuber talk about it (one of the only resources I could find) I was not aware of how impossible the first 2 months seem.

      • SM says:

        I agree. I think also the problem is that while you are expecting, you prepare yourself for whatever it means to take care of such tiny humans. How there is extensive info on that but much less is done and talked about how the mother’s body adapts to change and how it deals with the shock of giving birth, not to mention all the mental rollercoster it does through by growing a human inside for 9 months and the next moment – it’s not anymore. How to pay attention to all those things in your body and how taking care of your self not only the baby is crucial part of caring for an infant.

    • Jedi says:

      I also think that until you go through it yourself, no one really understands what it truly means. LIke, I didn’t know what sleep deprivation was actually like until after I had my first child. Or how it feels like you’ve been in a massive car crash but have no opportunity to recover.

      I heard these things from friends but I didn’t actually get it. While I was struggling those first weeks, I had pregnant friends say “I get how tired you are, I am barely sleeping too because of my belly” and its not the same.

      I have no idea how (like, I understand people have no choice – by my god that is difficult) people go back to work before 3 months. Its so unfair the Government will not support moms and dads in a real way with longer paid parental leave. So incredibly unfair.

      • ican'tanymore says:

        I was on morphine in a hospital bed after an emergency c-section planning a staff Christmas party because we didn’t have a maternity leave policy (the whole thing is an incredible blur). Also, the only way I knew I was in labor was because I had watched “Knocked Up” and they mentioned when the mucus plug dislodges and I was like, “Um….I think I’m in real labor” even though the doctors kept insisting I wasn’t (hence, the emergency C-section). They told this first-time Momma that “If you can still talk, you’re not in labor”…I sat with teeth chattering in my bathroom for hours in excruciating pain because I could still manage to talk…so I doubted myself. I almost gave birth (in a very high-risk pregnancy) in the car on the way to the hospital once I finally woke my husband and parents up because I couldn’t function anymore and was scared. They way we handle pregnancy is so stupid – please share your stories because it could mean life and death for someone – I can’t believe how little I knew (I was a required C-section because I had a myomectomy only a year earlier and was a very high risk for bleeding out and my son came earlier than expected) and how wrong the information my doctor gave me was. I called in repeatedly to the nurse station at the hospital and they kept saying, drink a glass of wine, take a bath, take an Asprin – you’re experiencing false labor pains or super early labor…This was in 2010 btw. I know there is online information but when your doctor says otherwise, it’s hard to know what to do, and I couldn’t have a read a blog while fully effaced if I had wanted to.

      • Jedi says:

        @ican’tanymore I am so sorry that you went through that. What a traumatic experience. Sending you virtual hugs.

      • Ann says:

        @ican’tanymore YUP! I am right there with you and had a very similar experience in terms of deciding when to go to the hospital. I was in so much pain but when I called the nurse line, was told that “The pain will get so bad you can’t endure it at home anymore. Then you come in.” So I kept waiting, and waiting, and thinking, “if I can still speak, I guess I’m not in labor yet.” I was also told that unless my water had broken, it wasn’t time to come in. OMG. I should have gone with my gut and went in sooner. By the time I DID finally go in, I was 7 cm dilated and they treated me like I had such a high pain tolerance. Um, NO! I was just told not to come in unless my water broke (it never did, the doctor had to break it in the delivery room). What a mess. I would encourage anyone to go into the hospital whether you’re told to or not. Trust yourself.

      • Teresa says:

        I always think American women are heroes when you are allowed only 3 months maternity leave. In my country we have paid maternity leave for 18 months and we can stay home without losing our job for another 18.

      • cdnKitty says:

        @ican’tanymore – I’m sorry for your traumatic experience. And a yes to sharing stories – for my first in 2010, as i was getting close to my due date, the baby stopped moving. The old wives tale of babies slow down before birth kept me from making a fuss, turns out he died when i was 38w6d, was born 3 days later in a horrific vaginal birth (no one should push more than 2 hours, no matter what. I spent 6 hours trying to push that baby out, and i’m permanently damaged from it and my subsequent births).

        Anyway – yes, we need to share the different versions of what can happen. My experience is statistically unlikely, but it still happens. And we need to stop shaming over the different choices we all make. IDC how you birthed as long as you felt you made informed decisions. All that matters is everyone surviving while feeling like they knew what they were consenting to.

      • Anna says:

        @Teresa I know, it’s horrible here. And three months? That’s for the lucky ones! I know a woman who had four kids she was raising on here own, gave birth and went back to work at Starbucks a week later. :( This country sucks for women and especially for Black women the maternal mortality rates are astronomical due to medical racism. You recall even Serena Williams almost died giving birth because doctors wouldn’t listen to her telling them something was wrong, she knew her own body. And she has all the money and resources.

    • Fabiola says:

      The first 2 months were the hardest of my life. No really tells you how hard it’s going to be. I was in so much pain and exhausted. I felt so lost as a first time mom not really knowing if I was doing things right. The breast feeding was also another obstacle I had. It was so hard. Women should be more outspoken about it..

      • Isa says:

        Telling people to not come in unless you can’t talk is absolutely insane. If that were the case I wouldn’t have left for the hospital until I was in transition.

        CDNKitty- I am so sorry for the loss of your son and the trauma you experienced. Hugs.

    • liz says:

      I was simply very lucky. I was nearly the last of my friends to start having kids, so I’d heard all of the stories. My best friend’s baby was born 11 months before mine; my college roommate had her second child 4 months before mine was born. They both made sure I knew what their first few months were like (and that mine would be just as difficult, but probably in a slightly different way). They were right.

      My Mom lives 40 minutes away from me. For the first 8 or 10 weeks, she came to my apartment every two or three days for a few hours at a time. She’d walk in, put away the groceries she had brought with her and start a load of laundry. Then she’d tell me to go take a nap or go for a walk or eat something while she took care of the baby. She’d stay until the laundry was done, then she’d poke around the kitchen to see what was running low and she’d put together a new grocery list. Three days later, she would reappear, with more groceries and prepared meals. I will be eternally grateful to her for that.

    • Anne Call says:

      I remember thinking a few weeks in, “why the heck did I spend all that time in labor and delivery classes”. I mean that stuff is over pretty quickly and then you have a newborn and you are overwhelmed. We needed a “how to take care of a baby” series of classes. Also breastfeeding was so HARD and painful.

  3. Sarah says:

    It’s a brutal, amazing, exhausting time, but there are literally thousands of blogs, books, and social accounts about it. I get that she means she didn’t realize the extent of it but “nobody talks about it” isn’t true at all. Then again, I was an absolute disaster after giving birth and couldn’t think straight to seek that out and didn’t want to hear it before giving birth… The conversation seriously needs to move to universal paid parental leave legislation. Would be a great cause for Katy to lend her platform to.

    • Gruey says:

      The information is out there but before you actually have the baby it kind of doesn’t make it to you. And living it defies preparation. I had easy births and I still wasn’t prepared for the jelly-like abdomen, the fear of pooping, the constant bleeding, the hormonal dreams so intense you feel like you’re hallucinating. And I’m thinking of having a third…..why?

      • Betsy says:

        Yeah, it’s out there, but I had my first back in 2010 when we only had dial up and there weren’t quite as many online resources as there are now. It’s also not even something that I would have even thought to seek out information about if I hadn’t had a boatload of colleagues who talked about it. Lots of women IRL keep all that stuff totally private so it is a surprise.

        Also yeah unless you’re a nurse, or had a sister or best friend go through it, it is kind of invisible and hard to believe until you yourself go through it.

      • Ellie says:

        Maybe it’s just because I’m of the age where plenty of women around me are giving birth, but I assure you I hear plenty of conversation around this without seeking it out. I would say it’s more common these days to hear realistic tales of what to expect than platitudes about “the wonderful gift of creating life,” and that’s probably a good thing for women who are about to go through it.

      • Betsy says:

        @Ellie – but that’s just it. If you’re the first woman in your peer group to have a kid, or don’t have a lot of friends like that, you don’t hear this stuff. It’s not that it’s not out or findable, but it’s not as organically available to some.

    • Kat says:

      ITA, there is endless information available. Is it a rule among celebrities that everytime they have a baby they have to act as though they are the first person to ever give birth and experience post partum? There is a difference between feeling unprepared and “no one talking about it”. Each mother will have a unique experience but I certainly did not look to celebrities to provide me with advice!

      • Sarah says:

        I wasn’t at all suggesting looking to celebrities for advice, but for Katy to use her platform to lobby for parental leave like we have here in Canada.

      • Kat says:

        My apologies, I did not mean to imply you were suggesting to look to celebrities. I meant that the celebrities themselves seem to pose as experts that mothers should seek for advice. And I agree that she should use the platform for something useful like you said.

    • megs283 says:

      Yeah, people talk about it – but people who are pregnant or not yet mothers don’t want to hear it.

      The newborn phase is my LEAST favorite. My body is a mess, not enough sleep, and I have crippling anxiety about the health of the baby.

    • FHMom says:

      I love it when celeb moms act like nobody else has ever given birth. That info is out there. I think, however, it always comes as a shock. Women are so focused on the baby, they forget about the unpleasant stuff until it slaps them in the face.

    • Thaisajs says:

      Exactly. Plenty of women have talked about this FOR YEARS. Katy just wasn’t paying attention. Which is fine? I just get a little annoyed sometimes when celebrities act like they’ve had some revolutionary, singular experience when they’ve just done the same things millions of others have before them.

      Anyway, glad she’s enjoying motherhood.

  4. Eleonor says:

    I have never wanted children, but I find the press around celebrities “back in shape 4 weeks after the baby” or “back to work” totally crazy, and dangerous for women who maybe feel like a mess in the first months but that kind of press promotes impossible standards.
    So kudos to Katy Perry.

    • Gruey says:

      You’re not even cleared to exercise until 6 weeks at minimum. So the only way you’re going to be back at a small size is if you didn’t gain any weight during your pregnancy. I guess a lot of starlets continue to diet through pregnancy. If they show up with the slightest puffiness in their face it’s the story of the century (a la Meghan).

      • MissCandyKiss says:

        That’s not entirely true. For my first son, I wasn’t cleared for exercise for several weeks. For my second son, I maintained a pretty vigorous workout schedule throughout the pregnancy. After the 10 minutes of labor, I asked my OB (while she was stitching my hoo-ha back up) when I could exercise again. Her response? Tomorrow. Each pregnancy is different.

  5. Faithmobile says:

    After my second which I stupidly thought would be easier: 24 hours of labor instead of 36 like the first, my hips were so far out of alignment, I could only shuffle backwards to the bathroom. Eventually I went to the chiropractor and got sorted. These are always good conversations to have as we push back against the hollywood birthing narrative.

  6. ce says:

    As an American woman, 5 weeks off before going back to work is… generous? No one I know got the 3 months or whatever which is probably healthy, it’s not usually provided by your employer and unless you’re someone like Katy (rich, with a partner who can financially provide for all 3+ people involved) there is a lot of pressure to just jump back in. Personally I couldn’t do it, you change so much as a person and you need that adjustment period. I had this sort of experience when I became a homeowner and I literally felt like I died and was reborn through the process. I imagine becoming a mom is a more heightened version of that

    • megs283 says:

      In Massachusetts, we have 6 weeks paid. I had 12 weeks paid by my employer. I did 12 weeks for my older daughter, and it was not enough time. With my youngest, I was open with my boss and said that I wanted 16. I then got a note from my OB saying that I needed extra time for maternal bonding and baby health. I had saved all my vacation, so I ended up having 14 weeks paid.

      IMO, 16 weeks should be the bare minimum (if a mom wants to go back before then, she can)! I am very lucky that I was able to take 16 and it makes me almost sick to my stomach to think of moms going back at 5 or 6 weeks.

    • February-Pisces says:

      I feel bad for American mothers as that is no way enough time. I’m not too sure what it is in the uk but I’ve seen a lot of women take off around 6 months to a year off. I don’t think they get paid for that, only the first few weeks. I don’t have kids yet, but I think I would like a good 9 months just at home, if I’m lucky. I think after a year I’d probably start to go crazy tho.

      • Teresa says:

        As I said before we have 18 months paid maternity leave in my country (plus 40 days paid leave pre due date). Before my first child I was sure I was not going to use all that but to be honest – it was so good to be at home, especially with my first. I did go back to work after 12 months with my second, but that was because I wanted to not because I had to. Makes a huge difference.

  7. Case says:

    Just came here to say she looks GREAT with the long black hair! I’ve always thought that was her best look — dark hair really suits her skin tone, and longer hair frames her face much nicer than the short hair did. She really looks glowing and wonderful.

  8. Midge says:

    Some countries have 6 months or a year of leave. In the US, we have an overwhelming “motherhood industrial complex”. But the dichotomy is that we don’t actually give new mom’s time to recover. It’s like we want to sell moms products and give them mediums to bond or gripe, but not give them rest and time, which is what they really need. It’s all about the bottom line – sell to new moms, but don’t pay them while they rest.

    • Betsy says:

      Sadly, this. Also, make sure to shame them, no matter what they choose. If they’re staying at home, make sure they know they’re terrible anti-feminists whose children will grow up to be little misogynist hillbillies and if they’re going back to work, make sure they know they’re terrible, job-obsessed feminazis who only had kids to check a box.

    • Mom2mom says:

      In Canada, we have a year, and you can split that up with the other partner so both parents can spend ti e at home with baby. What you have (what you don’t have, really) in the US is ludicrous.

  9. Lwt00 says:

    the physical stuff is the *only* thing people talk about. Everyone told me about pooping while pushing, about tearing, about fearing the first bowel movement at home. And you hear about post partum depression but no one told me what the baby blues really was.
    the term makes it seem almost cute. A mild inconvenience. They should call it the Baby Crash. As in oh all those hormones you’ve kept running at high for 9 months to sustain pregnancy? They’re gonna drop like a ride at six flags just in time for you to get home. Get ready to cry your eyes out at everything. Get ready for the intrusive thoughts and the awful sense of having ruined your life by having this baby, while simultaneously loving it and being so fiercely protective of it that you barely allow it to leave your arms.
    Oh and this shit lasts 2-3 weeks so it’s at least that long before anyone will consider medicating you. Good luck mama!

    • Betsy says:

      Or being the mother who has been unable to bond with her child and feels like a shit human.

      • megs283 says:

        To be frank, I was unable to fully love my older daughter until I got on anti-anxiety medication when she was 6 months. Prior to that time, I was too anxious about what could go wrong to relax enough to love her.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Yes, the crash. I was so confused at about 3-4 days past birth when I burst into tears and cried like my life had ended, for hours. My hubs was surprised too lol. And then it happened with each of my subsequent 2 births. I’m a generation older than most of CB readers. I had to go back to work at 4 weeks trying to pump, sleepless with a very cranky baby who never slept. The dichotomy of my joy in my baby with the torture of my body and mind trying to recover and having to wrench myself away each day was a dark time in my life. When I had my second 20 months later, we regrouped so I could stay home for two years. Best choice I ever made.

    • StrawberryBlonde says:

      Yes the crash. Feeling hugely resentful towards my newborn and wishing I hadn’t had him because it had ruined my life. And then of course feeling like an absolute trash heap of a person for even feeling like that for a millisecond. Ugh. I do not miss the newborn stage.

      • Teresa says:

        This. 100%. The crash was absolutely horrible and I had not been warned about it. I felt like the worst person on earth and couldn’t stop crying. It started to change very slowly around 2-3 months and I felt back to normal when my baby was 6 months old. Understanding now that all this was normal and others have felt the same gives me kind of backwards consolation.

  10. DS9 says:

    People talk about how hard it is the most vague of terms and address the emotional aspect that quite frankly, a number of us just don’t feel.

    What they don’t discuss and what it seems Katy is referring to are the actual mechanics of what your body is doing postpartum and what your baby is doing postpartum. The fishnet undies, the 6 weeks of bleeding, the state of your boobs regardless of how you choose to feed, the constant doctors appointments, etc.

    I mean I used Desitin on my lady parts for a few weeks after having each of my babies because using pads for weeks on end chapped my business. Who discusses that?

    • Tiffany says:

      That should be discussed more because expectations for women who carried and then birthed another human being, is not cool. This ‘Superwoman who can do it all’ troupe does more harm than good.

  11. Tiffany says:

    There was a nurse I use to work with that gave me the most honest answer when it came to her pregnancy, contractions (she said the smartest thing her husband did was read the room, keep his mouth shut and watch television. HA !!), birth and post partum. It was strange to me at the time because every other nurse that I worked with talked about child birth and then the raising of this tiny humans as the closest to heaven you are going to get and were trying to convince me that I should have children.

    Except that one nurse, when I told her that I do not plan on children she said, ‘Good. You ain’t missing nothing’. I still think about her and I am pretty sure she is raising awesome children.

  12. paranormalgirl says:

    Thank the goddess for my sister by choice, Holly. She swooped in like an angel to rescue me during the first 8 weeks of the spawnbirth. I had twins and my late husband (I’m remarried now) and I were like “WTF do we do now?” Holly saved us from tragedy and stayed with us for 2 months. Without her, I could not have done it. I thought “Hey, I’m a doctor, my husband runs a big corporation, we got this.” We so didn’t.

  13. Mina_Esq says:

    I don’t know, you guys. I certainly want people to know, appreciate and respect that the postpartum period is hard for many reasons, but I don’t want it to become socially acceptable for randoms to ask me about my mental state or my lady parts. I was only comfortable discussing it with my mom and doctor.

  14. chimes@midnight says:

    I don’t know…. it’s all hard? Like, I feel that there is a lot of discussion about mothers to newborns needing more support, needing more rest, dealing with job insecurity, dealing with pressure to get their “pre-baby body” “back”, to snap a ton of photos and curate an Instagram account to make life look perfect, etc, etc,etc…… But there isn’t as much talk about how hard it is being home alone with a fourteen month old after you’ve lost your job and your partner is at work, or being a single parent to a toddler and feeling like there is literally no help coming, ever. It’s ALL hard. There needs to be more support for ALL of it, not just the first six weeks like there’s a magical line and all of the sudden it’s a piece of cake after that.

  15. Leskat says:

    Honestly, I’m really, really tired of people saying “no one talks about PPD/post-partum hair loss/how hard breast feeding is/how I didn’t feel connected to my baby…” and on and on about all the tough things that come with having a baby. YES PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! Just because no one around you was talking about it or you didn’t pay attention to the convo because you didn’t have a baby doesn’t mean “no one is talking about it”. It’s a huge trend for celebs to have a baby and then be in the news cycle because they didn’t realize they were going to “leave the hospital in diapers, just like my baby LOLZ”. We all know this now. And don’t come at me saying some people don’t know these things. If you’re having a baby, this honest info is everywhere now, you have no excuse for being so oblivious. Rant over.

  16. Lunasf17 says:

    Post partum is no joke! Luckily I had an “easy” delivery (still needed stitches!) and recovery. I had a midwife who trusted be to do what I wanted. I started up a gentle yoga practice as couple days after birth and was able to build up to my regular practice three weeks pp ( I hiked a lot and did yoga up until labor which I highly recommend). I had really strong abs going into pregnancy and they pretty much came right back, luckily no separation. Luckily Katy has help but even then it’s hard. My husband and I run our own business so I was doing emails and such a few days pp which probably wasn’t the best idea since my brain felt so fried.

  17. Keekey says:

    This is why the U.S. needs mandatory PAID maternity leave for 12-weeks post-partum. Sure, some women bounce back very quickly and some babies are easy, but for most new mothers those first three months are a rollercoaster of body changes and adjusting to the new baby. Women need time!!

  18. Sensible says:

    I’m sorry but does pregnancy come with a face transplant? What happened???

  19. T I R E D says:

    Okay I’m sorry but I for one and sick and bloody tired of the claim that “nobody” talks about how hard it is to have baby. For pity’s sake pretty much every new celeb mom does an interview like this one where they say they had “no idea” how hard this was going to be because “nobody talks about this stuff”. And in the comment sections of every article there are lots of people making the same claim along side a ton birth horror stories. Meanwhile I’m someone who is basically TERRIFIED of every having a baby because I’ve heard and read so many utter HORROR stories but sure “nobody talks about this stuff”.

  20. Catherine says:

    I’m a lawyer, I’ve published many legal articles. I know how to write and how to be articulate. Doesn’t matter, I can’t describe the “why” and the “how” those first few months are so hard. They are incredibly HARD. You are terrified all the time, you are exhausted, and, for example, you put all your trust in a pediatrician who gives your baby the wrong vaccines and you have no recourse for this (other than having the nurse fired during a pandemic). You have to learn in real time: child development, child psychology, nutrition, you need a ph. D in engineering, MD in emergency medicine. Babies are FLOPPY, and kind of awkward to hold. The BABY BOOKS ARE BORING AF and so poorly written, and they are all FEAR BASED. So, your natural terror is only inflated by the books.

    NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT 4 MONTH REGRESSION. Like. No one. It’s a nuclear bomb. It’s a war zone. Civil war. In your house. The end, 🤣🤣🤣 sorry, still in the thick of it

  21. 2lazy4username says:

    Here we go again with the first woman ever to have had a baby. *eyeroll*
    Yes, people talk about it PLENTY; the difference is nobody really understands what’s being talked about it until it’s experienced, so it probably falls on deaf ears.

    • Purple prankster says:

      yes!!! I agree, people discuss all this but it falls on deaf ears. it seems like the kind of thing you just have to experience for yourself. also we have to remember everyone’s experience and perspective will end up being unique. For me the biggest shock and toughest part was the “social” aspect (how I was being treated as a new mother). strangers were kind but my family- most of my relatives didn’t visit or acknowledge my baby which hurt, my mother was harshly and constantly critical, and my in laws kept trying to take advantage of me at a vulnerable time. when I had my next baby I had learnt from the first time and it was so satisfying to protect myself and put my family first the second time around.

  22. mew says:

    Yes, people do talk about it. Maybe it should be talked more about but she shouldn’t claim *nobody* talks about it because that’s just not true.