Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically’


If there’s one thing Gwyneth Paltrow loves more than anything else, it’s humble-bragging. Did you know that Gwyneth’s worst, most devastating moment was when she was awarded the highest honor for an actress? Did you know that Gwyneth is terribly in-demand as an actress even if she grew tired of all of the money, acclaim and attention? Did you know that she’s such a family-values saint that she couldn’t even fathom getting a divorce, but in the end everything was perfect because she ended up with an even better husband (who was actually married to someone else but no one talks about that)? Such is the life of Gwyneth Paltrow. She spoke to the podcast Anna Faris Is Unqualified about all of this and more:

After Gwyneth won the Oscar in 1999: “In L.A. everybody was so supportive. I remember winning and feeling like the tide sort of turned and there was this feeling of when you have that much attention on you and that much energy, it was really, really overwhelming. I remember I was staying with my parents at their house in Santa Monica and I just kind of hid for three weeks afterward. It was so intense. Lonely is the right word, it was really strange. It was the weirdest most surreal time. You’re also kind of embarrassed that you’re nominated for an Oscar and you have imposter syndrome and you think, ‘I can’t even believe this is happening. I’m not even that good. Does everybody hate me?’ I was kind of like, ‘Well, of course, I’m not going to win but it’s kind of cool, too.”

On her divorce: “I’ve learned so much from something I wanted least in the world. I never wanted to get divorced. I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically. But I have learned more about myself through that process than I could have imagined. I had learned more about myself through that process than I could have imagined. And because I focused on accountability, I was then able to find the most amazing man and build something that I’ve never had before.”

On Brad Falchuk: “I was scared, because he is a person who demands presence and intimacy and communication in a way I just didn’t know how to. I like to fight by shutting down—goodbye! I leave the room. And he was like, ‘No, absolutely not. We’re sitting down, and we’re figuring this out.’ And he demands that I am honest with myself in a way that is hard for me, but which really helps me grow.”

[From Page Six, People & Harper’s Bazaar]

I laughed a little at “I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically.” Sure, theoretically a lot of things are good and true! She was really like “in theory, marriage is fine. In practice though…” And for the love of God, the way she talks about her Oscar, like winning all of those awards was the most devastating thing that ever happened to her… before she was forced to get a divorce, which only happened after she started banging Brad Falchuk, who was married to someone else at the time. Don’t you know how Gwyneth suffers?? All of these awards and money and men forcing her to grow as a person! Also: Cate Blanchett should have won that Oscar in 1999.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Falchuk at arrival...

Brad Falchuk, Gwyneth Paltrow at the ind...

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

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41 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘I never wanted to not be married to the father of my kids, theoretically’”

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  1. whateveryousay says:

    She’s exhausting. Always. Is there any convo about why Beyonce doesn’t seem to hang with her anymore?

  2. Eyeroll says:

    “before she was forced to get a divorce, which only happened after she started banging Brad Falchuk, who was married to someone else at the time.”

    Wait I thought her conscious uncoupling happened before meeting Falchuk on glee? Weren’t she and Chris divorced first or was that a spin? I do remember him being very much married shortly prior though.

    • Kaiser says:

      No, she met Falchuk before she divorced Chris. Both Brad and Gwyneth were married to other people when they started up.

  3. Holland S says:

    She’s says this same thing every few years. I don’t understand why the media has picked this up again.

    • Mac says:

      I think it’s fair to say she hasn’t learned or grown. She is the same annoying snob she always was.

      • AnnaKist says:

        I agree. Someone please pass me those sharp scissors. I’m going to give her blonde mane the cut it’s needed for years.

      • Holland S says:

        She is a snob. That’s why people follow her. It’s the promise of optimizing your life by using insider celebrity snob knowledge. She’s supposed to have access to the best and you can have it too if just buy vagina eggs, beauty treatments and whatnot.

  4. escondista says:

    after this marriage fails it will be … but I’ve come out learning how to meet somebody even better: me. Brad demanded too much of me and i’ve finally found myself. I am a zen master who demands so much of nothing and everything and crystal lightbeam moonshine betterment garble everything is so great!

  5. Nicole says:

    Looking at her in her Oscar dress, I am convinced that she was bulimic. As someone with an ED, I’m just curious as to how much was good old fashioned “imposter syndrome”. She’s still pretty arrogant, but it’s interesting to wonder how much was she just didn’t feel good enough.

  6. Sandra says:

    I’ve always maintained that Gwyneth was fine in Shakespeare in Love but it makes absolutely no sense that she won over Cate in Elizabeth. Or that SIL won over Elizabeth. Thanks to he who shall not be named.

    • Scotchy says:

      I one million percent agree. When she won over Cate, that was the moment I knew the awards were rigged beyond belief. Oh how I loathed SIL, I simply couldn’t understand how it won. I mean I know how it did but ugh.

    • Bibi says:

      Cate was absolutely wonderful in Elizabeth. I think Gwen knows she didn’t deserve to win. Nepotism and who we shall not name.

    • Arpeggi says:

      I didn’t get the hype for SIL or for Silver Lining Playbook: they’re movie versions of pop music, entertaining while you watch them but forgettable as soon as they end. I’m still wondering if there’s something wrong with me or if it’s a Emperor’s New Clothes-situation

    • clomo says:

      It’s proof how shallow it all really is. I will never forget Ryan Gosling’s reaction to the mess involving Warren Beatty, he could hardly contain himself laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. The egos in the room with all the famous people and women dressed to the nines in southern Cali, smack dap in the middle of polluted ugly buildings and homeless people everywhere that these people have seen through the windows of their limos and Bentley’s, the epitome of the casual flip-flop t-shirt lifestyle could not be more different nor contrived. And you don’t know if you are going to win or not and if you do will you forget to thank someone because if you do it will be in the news the next day, oh and a LOT of the people are on a variety of different really high quality drugs and booze.. Ryan I suspect was under the influence of a marijuana and a couple drinks max which was a good choice for the night. Cate was robbed and that horrid pink dress is infamous now, staying on topic here. Total insanity all of it.

  7. Case says:

    Why does she think that being divorced is a personality trait?

    • lucy2 says:

      Good take.
      My guess is because her whole “unconsciously uncoupled” thing got her a lot of attention, and she seems to thrive on that.

      Also LOL at her attempt at the timeline shift, as if she got divorced and spent a long time working on herself BEFORE meeting Brad. Girl, everyone knows it was an affair.

  8. minx says:

    Goopy never disappoints. I, I, me, me.

  9. Blerg says:

    Cate Blanchett should win ALL the Oscars. I love Cate Blanchett. Can we talk more about Cate Blanchett?

    • Grant says:

      I like Cate, but her caping for Woody Allen knocked her down a few pegs in my book.

      • lucy2 says:

        Same – I think she’s a brilliant actor and enjoy her work, but she’s not quite the person off screen that I’d hoped.

    • HoofRat says:

      I have to say, I was happy when she won the Oscar because I adored Shakespeare in Love. Thanks to Goop, I can’t re-watch it, ever. Having subsequently seen Cate Blanchett’ performance from that year, I think someone should pry that Oscar out of the oh-so-reluctant winner’s hands and dispatch it to Cate, post-haste.

    • Snappyfish says:

      I’m here for the that was Cate Blanchett’s oscar. Paltrow got it simply because Harvey Weinstein wanted it & Goopy knows it

  10. Chrissy (The Original) says:

    One of the worst Oscar dresses ever-fit wise. I actually like SIL but Cate Blanchett’s performance was more worthy of the Oscar. She’s by far the superior actress and she dresses much better too IMO!

  11. candy says:

    When she says “And because I focused on accountability, I was then able to find the most amazing man and build something that I’ve never had before.” Yikes, if that isn’t the biggest burn to Chris Martin.

  12. Valiantly Varnished says:

    Honestly a lot of other actresses and actors have talked about what’s it like to win an Oscar and have said very similar things. Anne Hathaway said something similar and was mocked for it. It seems like a very intense and not always positive experience – especially for actresses who almost always immediately face “popularity backlash” afterwards. So I won’t discount her experience with it. It’s valid.

  13. Elizabeth says:

    How is it that she spends all that time and money on her diet and skin and beauty and promotes her tricks and tips and insider access, and she STILL can’t do a basic conditioner on her hair? Am I missing something? Literally how does a rich, vain woman have such sad hair?

  14. Sue Denim says:

    shallow but ew w his buttons are open so low, I don’t know much about him but he skeeves me a bit…

  15. Cas says:

    Yes she’s terrible and exhausting, but it’s not entirely fair to blame her for the divorce. Chris Martin was a terrible husband who cheated and was embarrassed to be seen with her to the point he literally sprinted down the street away from her rather than be seen together. As awful as she is, he was no prize either and honestly she’s probably better off in her current marriage.
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Gwyneth fan, but I do think that marriage only lasted as long as it did because of her perseverance.

  16. Robin says:

    Didn’t she say she would never ever love anyone as much as she loved her dad, including husbands and fathers of her children and her mum. Which is just a strange thing to make public even if you believe it/feel it.

    • Ellyn says:

      Brad basically is her dad all over again. If only Gwyneth could learn more from her mom’s example—work more (put in real effort), talk (about yourself) less!

  17. Amanduh says:

    Brad has the most punchable face. Its just so…smug!? Idk, thats all I came here to say. Happy Thursday everyone!

  18. Sequinedheart says:

    Brad Falchuck has a punchable face

  19. Tulip says:

    She was fine in that movie but even the nomination had me scratching my head bsck then. It was a joke that she won, but even at the time wasn’t it an open secret that HW bought and bullied his way to that win for her, or am I dreaming that????
    The secret has definitely come out in the intervening years …. especially with the downfall of HW and comments about her undeserved win like those from the magical Glenn Close, which are accompanied by an explanation that those oscars were bought ….. So yes Gwynnie it is common knowledge that you weren’t that good and you didn’t deserve it – that is not imposter syndrome at all, it is established fact. And every time you bring this up, all you do is remind people of it.