Olivia Wilde in GQ: bikinis, bony ribcages & “dangerous” fame

Is it any secret that I don’t care for Olivia Wilde? I just don’t get it. I don’t get her appeal, I don’t understand why men find her sexy, I can’t comprehend how people have strong feelings about her in any way. I look at someone like, say, Megan Fox, and I don’t understand why some people (fanboys) don’t get a grip and realize she’s a crass, arrogant, snotty, ignorant bigot, but even I understand why some men/boys find her hot. Megan’s got that cheap, trashy look that goes a long way with men with no attention spans. But Olivia? She’s utterly unremarkable. But she’s being pegged as the next big thing, The New Hot Girl. Earlier this year she was named Maxim’s Hottest, Sexist WhatsIt, and now we have the nearly-naked GQ cover shoot to solidify it. Damn, this girl must have a great publicist.

GQ’s extensive (some would say exhaustive) slideshow is totally sketchy. At one point, Olivia is naked on a sea grass rug, and all I can think about is how uncomfortable her lady parts must have been. I’ve called her “anorexic” before, and while I don’t know if that’s true or if she’s just naturally really, really thin, there are several pictures where it seems like all you can see is bony ribcage.

Her interview is pretty boring too. I guess they thought, “Hey, with all of these pictures of Olivia in a bikini (or less), who’ll be reading the damn thing?” The piece is written by one of Olivia’s fan boys who writes lines like (I kid you not): “Wilde, of course, is not the first young actress to feel awkward in the face of babedom.” Suck. It. Here are some other musings, from the complete GQ interview:

On being named Maxim‘s Sexiest Woman: “The day they announced it, I hid in my bathtub with a big glass of wine…Anytime anyone describes you with a superlative, people are going to disagree. And I didn’t want to have to deal with those people.”

On meeting Robert Pattinson, and fame in general: “I did not envy him. I think it’s the frog-in-boiling-water concept…Robert Pattinson jumped in boiling water and has stayed in it, and hopefully will survive. Whereas I entered the water when it was cold, and it’s been slowly heating up—a slooooow boil. Maybe I won’t realize when it’s getting dangerous.”

On being told to downplay her 6-year marriage to an Italian aristocrat: “There were times when people thought it would really hurt me. People said I shouldn’t be married, or lie about being married, or I should be married to a movie star or rock star.”

On growing up in Washington, D.C. with her journalist parents: “I appreciated the constant excitement, the murmur of all these engaged conversations. Christopher Hitchens used to babysit me when I was young.”

On her character Thirteen on House: “I sort of resent people pigeonholing Thirteen as the sexy gay doctor.”

[From GQ]

I did learn one interesting thing after reading that epic bore-fest. Olivia’s real last name isn’t Wilde… she adopted Wilde as a stage name, taking it from the famous Irish writer Oscar Wilde. Olivia’s real last name is… wait for it… Cockburn. What will the fanboys make of that one? I kind of like it. I think she would still be famous if she was Olivia Cockburn. It’s not like it’s Olivia Dickslayer or something.

The one other noteworthy thing, I suppose, is that Olivia wears her liberalism on her sleeve. She actively campaigned for Obama, going door to door and working in phone banks in Iowa, Louisiana and New Hampshire. She even says that Candidate Obama called her once, to personally thank her for her work. Their conversation was brief, but after Olivia hung up she says, “I was just squealing and squawking, trying to replay the whole thing.” Except she didn’t really hang up – Obama was still on the line, laughing: “It was awful—horrifying. But apparently he was flattered.” Aw… okay, that was sort of a cute story. But I still don’t care for this chick.

Header image via CoverAwards. Other photos from Style.com

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25 Responses to “Olivia Wilde in GQ: bikinis, bony ribcages & “dangerous” fame”

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  1. Firestarter says:

    Sorry, but it doesn’t take much to get named Maxim’s Sexiest Woman. The magazine is not that old and haven’t all the “It” girls in Hollywood been “Maxim’s Hottest” at one time or another?

  2. Ophelia says:

    I don’t get it either. She’s got gorgeous eyes, but that’s not really enough. I think it’s cool that she took Oscar Wilde’s name, I always wondered about that. And Olivia Dickslayer might be the funniest thing I’ve heard all year!
    I think she seems likeable though, and smart. And Hitchens babysat her?!? He’s like this brilliant jackass. He always looks drunk and like he hasn’t bathed in weeks, but his book God is Not Great is amazing.

  3. ash says:

    Sorry people, but I think she’s pretty dang beautiful. But Firestarter’s right – doesn’t take much!

  4. Jeane says:

    COCKBURN!?? lol..!!

  5. Laura says:

    An “ignorant bigot?” Wow….

  6. princess pea says:

    I think she’s hot; I like that she doesn’t look like a cookie-cutter California girl. I also don’t think she’s THAT skinny… she’s not bony like Renee Z or or Kiera Knightley.

  7. danielle says:

    Pretty face, but waaay too skinny. I don’t remember that she used to be that skinny, did she lose a bunch of weight?

  8. Zoe says:

    Seems great in that interview. Smart. Why is she a bigot?

  9. KDRockstar says:

    She has always had a very slight frame on a taller (by Hollywood standards) body. She seems boring because she is not her character on House, but she is a true person. Trust.

  10. Kaiser says:

    Zoe – That was about Megan, not Olivia. Olivia is a genius saint compared to Megan.

  11. Ruby Red Lips says:

    She has the adoration after her and Mischa’s r’ship in the OC…

  12. crash2GO2 says:

    I’ve always cringed watching her on House. She is such an awful actress. Quite beautiful and unique looking though.

    They photoshopped the heck out of her though – otherwise in all the nearly nekked pics, her ribs would have been showing like they do with her in that red get-up.

  13. mollination says:

    This is the first thing I’ve ever read about her in my entire life. She doesn’t seem so bad – lookswise I think she’s a pretty girl, but I’m bummed she was named “sexiest”. That means the whole heroinanorexic-chic = sexy thing is back.

    Maxim, the emperor has no boobies!

  14. ER says:

    She kind of reminds me of a boring version of Jennifer Morrison (Cameron) on House.

  15. Ally says:

    Bummer for George Clooney that she’s married, she’s totally his type.

  16. Fat Elvis says:

    Is it just me, or does her head look ENORMOUS in relation to her body in the cover pic? It’s probably just the angle from which it was shot, but it’s really awkward nonetheless.

  17. Eileen Yover says:

    Ok I admit i skimmed the article-but who is she? Besides being on maxium? Never heard of her until this post. She seems rather unremarkable-but who knows what the boys find goodlooking these days. At least she’s not the cookie-cutter blonde, big boob, caked on makeup type.

  18. emma says:

    I find it funny that she said people wanted her to downplay her marriage to an italian prince, because in almost every interview i read of her always states her husband’s background. in face, the first interview i’ve read of her years ago was how she was a princess and an actress – “every girl’s dream” (her words not mine)

  19. Annie says:

    I gotta say, I think she’s gorgeous as well.

    Much better looking than Megan IMO.

    And yea, I’m loving the Obama love and the squealing. haha. I would’ve been guilty of that shit too.

    And hey, I’ll happily admit that I wouldn’t mind being a princess AND an actress. It isn’t going to happen, but really, most girls dream of that. This is very true.

  20. TwinkleToes says:

    Most Italian aristocracy isn’t really royal. The Catholic church was giving titles out like candy in the 1800’s for a sizeable donation. Fake, Fake Fake. She’s no princess but she sure does have a big man jaw worthy of a Geico caveman.

  21. bittercup says:

    After using superlative correctly, I thought she might have a few brain cells to rub together…then I got to the Obama part.

  22. princess pea says:

    bittercup, I’m not even American and I would squeal if Obama called me. You wouldn’t be even a little excited if the freaking PRESIDENT of the USA called you?

  23. Lauren says:

    Cockburn is pronounced “Col-burn”. I had a friend in grade school with the same name. As for Olivia being naturally thin, ha. My friend whom is a ballet teacher is that thin-she doesn’t eat breakfast or lunch, swigs coffee all day, and then has a toddler sized dinner! She eats about 500 calories a day. Starving women are never interesting-there is no nourishment in their brain!!

  24. ash says:

    I think she’s hotter than megan fox

  25. Wiez says:

    If you don’t like her why you kept posting about her? I see there are haters, but in my opinion she is great. She helps rebuilding Haiti, campaigning for Senator Obama. That means she’s not just an actress who says medical terms. And for telling her husband’s background in every interview, that’s because there’s almost always the question asking about her being a princess. And she’s a healthy vegan who happens to be skinny. I love her 🙂