You can pay Donald & Melania Trump to appear at your birthday party or bar mitzvah

President Donald Trump and Melania Trump arrive on Airforce One at Palm Beach International Airport

It’s been about ten weeks since Joe Biden’s inauguration. It feels good, right? Tens of millions of Americans have been vaccinated, a huge, comprehensive stimulus has been passed, and we aren’t waking up at 3 am in a cold sweat to see what treasonous bullsh-t Donald Trump has tweeted in the middle of the night. It took some time, but I no longer feel that constant hum of dread every single minute of every single day. Those four/five years were absolutely traumatic.

Of course, there are millions of Americans who want to relive the trauma because they think Trump is some kind of MAGA Jesus figure. But do those people have any money? Perhaps. Perhaps they’re already pooling together their stimulus money so they can rent Donald Trump for a special appearance or speech. We know that he does wedding speeches now – we saw him waddle into a Mar-a-Lago wedding and rant about China and Iran to dozens of maskless wedding guests. And now anyone can have that same experience at a price. That price? Adderall, cheeseburgers and Nazi antiques.

Visitors to Donald Trump’s new website can book the former president and his wife, Melania Trump, for personal appearances and greetings. One page on the website,, deals with “scheduling”. Users “interest[ed] in inviting Donald J Trump or Melania Trump to participate in your event” are instructed to use a form provided.

Among questions to be answered are “Will Media be Present?” and whether any “Notable Attendees” are expected. Former presidents and major public figures often sign up with professional agencies for public speakers. Trump’s move, however, is typical of a man ever eager to control his own image – and all profits from it.

His new website also offers personalized greetings. Unlike celebrities including the former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, who signed up with Cameo, a website that sells greetings and messages from celebrities, Trump’s website does not say he is charging for the service – or for scheduled personal appearances. Trump’s staff does seem to be attempting to filter out any embarrassing or pranking requests. Last year, for example, a comedian paid Lewandowski to congratulate a fictional small child for “using the big boy toilet” and “doing a great job with your poopies”.

A statement on Trump’s website reads: “Thank you for your interest in receiving a greeting from Donald J Trump and Melania Trump for your special occasion. Please allow up to six weeks for processing of your request.” Reasons for requesting a greeting are listed as: “Birthday (adult), Birthday (child), Birthday (veteran), Military retirement, Wedding, Wedding anniversary, Condolence, New baby welcome, Graduation, Girl Scout gold award and Eagle Scout award.”

[From The Guardian]

Most national political figures sign up with well-respected public-speaking firms and set their prices right out of the gate. This was one of the stupid reasons why people pretended to hate Hillary Clinton: she gave paid speeches to hedge funds and insurance companies and the like. Bill Clinton gives paid speeches, as do Barack Obama and George W. Bush. Post-presidency work can be lucrative and discreet, especially given that there are well-established agencies which can weed out the dumb requests and maximize a politician’s earning potential. What Trump is doing is not that. What he’s doing is just another tacky, ridiculous grift. Trump and his dipsh-t wife Melania expect to get handed a wad of sweaty, cocaine-laced $20 bills for Zooming into some MAGAt’s birthday party and ranting about a “stolen election” and “fake news.”


Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

22 Responses to “You can pay Donald & Melania Trump to appear at your birthday party or bar mitzvah”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. damejudi says:

    Well, we paid them to play in the White House.

    • BABSORIG says:

      LOL😁😁😁😁 and who was it that swore Melania would file for divorce a day after Biden was sworn in? LOL, Melania isn’t going anywhere, and she’s not even stuck with the Donald. Melania is staying with Donald Trump because she wants to.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      Follow our link for your next family milestone!!
      “Yes kids! That’s right!! Ask your parents to rent Drumpf the Clown for your next birthday to treat your friends to hours filled with balloon animal requests, the art of lying and how to continue to use your lies for years to come!! Want to make use of using illegal practices to pay less taxes and make people believe you have more money? You can, for an additional $500.00!! Book your next special birthday and tell your parents you want to hire Drumpf the Clown to entertain you and your friends for your next birthday or your upcoming wedding nuptials!! Call now as this offer is only available for a limited time only as Drumpf the Clown may not be available in 2023 and beyond!!”

  2. Marla Singer says:

    Biggest loser !!. And so are the people that pay to listen to his garbage

  3. Seraphina says:

    My kids have outgrown clown shows and I am not fond of them so I will have to pass.

  4. Izzy says:

    I would pay them to NOT be there…

  5. Natters says:

    I can see Melania’s grumpy cat face showing up. Might as well divorce than have to literally act like a show pony for parties. Have to pay those lawyers for the multitude lawsuits that threaten to take away her life of shopping and day spas.

    • BABSORIG says:

      Melania will not divorce the Donald. He is her identity and she can’t lose her identity. Also, divorce Trump and then what?

  6. LightPurple says:

    My cat may or may not have put in requests for several events. We encourage all pets to do the same.

    My great aunt and her 95 year old brother particularly enjoy the “Comments” section. They both go on daily to voice their opinions on their dealings with Social Security, IRS, Medicare, and the VA over the past 4 years. And all the problems their friends have had too.

  7. Tiffany says:

    So they broke broke, huh?

    Oh well.

    I’m thinking a salad for lunch.

  8. Louise177 says:

    Even though most celebrities and politicians do this Trump makes everything sound so cheap and cheesy.

  9. Esme says:

    Can I get Melania to do my Xmas decorations?

  10. Courtney B says:

    When my son made Eagle Scout and my hubby retired from the military, I sent requests for the letters to all the living presidents through their websites. They’re great mementoes. If it was happening now I would definitely have to skip one. My hubby won’t even hang up his official retirement certificate because it has Trump’s signature.

    • MerlinsMom1018 says:

      Courtney B
      My son in law retired early so he could have President Obama’s signature. So I get it.
      Congratulations to your son making Eagle Scout and on your hubby’s retirement

  11. Gina says:

    Yep, I agree. Another grift.

    I also agree that Mel isn’t going anywhere. I did once think she would divorce him but now I’m convinced she all in. She’s holding out to be his widow.

  12. Digital Unicorn says:

    He’ll do anything for attention and a buck – NYSD is closing in.

  13. Rice says:

    Smells like Eau de Grift by MAGAt.

  14. booboocita says:

    Once we’re all out of quarantine, will they show up for events outside of Mar-a-Lago? And if so, how will the Secret Service ever vet the events? “Sorry, sir, you can’t go because your attendance would be a terrible security risk.” “But I’m the PRESIDENT! I can go where I want!”

  15. Annetommy says:

    Trump condolence speech? Enters to sound of ‘Macho Man’. ‘Hey, everyone’s gotta go sometime right? It’s not like he didn’t know that, right? And he got lotsa hot ass while he was here. Not like Sleepy Joe. Talking about hot ass, there was this time I…’ Twenty minutes later, exits ‘dancing’ to sound of ‘YMCA’.

  16. schmootc says:

    Oh, I’d pay them to come to my event. They just might not like either my event or the rotten tomatoes and eggs I pass out to my guests beforehand.

  17. The Recluse says:

    It’s about the grift. It’s always been about the grift…with a side of “Pay attention to meeeee”.