Comedian John Mulaney really struggled during the pandemic. He tried to keep busy and take writing jobs, but he ended up relapsing and began abusing drugs again. Last December, just before Christmas, he checked himself into a 60-day rehab. For several months, we didn’t hear about him and I was happy about that – it meant that his privacy was being respected, and I hoped he was working the program. As it turns out, following his rehab stay, he went into outpatient care. Around the same time, he filed for divorce from his wife of more than six years.
Comedian John Mulaney and his artist wife of six years, Anna Marie Tendler, are divorcing following his stay in rehab. Sources tell us that Mulaney, who checked himself into rehab for 60 days late last year after struggling with alcohol and drug abuse, asked for a divorce from Tendler three months ago.
A spokesman for Mulaney confirmed the divorce to Page Six and added, “John will not have any further comment as he continues to focus on his recovery and getting back to work.”
Tendler — an artist who works across many mediums and is a master’s candidate in NYU’s Costume Studies program — added through her spokesperson, “I am heartbroken that John has decided to end our marriage. I wish him support and success as he continues his recovery.”
In December, the “Big Mouth” star, 38, entered a rehab facility in Pennsylvania for 60 days for treatment for cocaine and alcohol addiction, Page Six exclusively reported. In February, he exited the program and entered outpatient care.
“John has completed 60 days in rehab, and now he’s in outpatient sober care. He is doing well, although he is still not ready to return to work,” a source told Page Six at the time.
Then earlier this month, Mulaney announced his first set of tour dates after spending time in rehab. The comedian is doing a five-day residency called “John Mulaney: From Scratch” at Manhattan’s City Winery from May 10 to May 14. Every show has already sold out — but fans can still add their names to a “wait list.” The venue warns that a “vaccine or negative COVID test is required” to attend.
Page Six also pointed out that Tendler “went silent” about John on her social media right around the time he entered rehab. Which makes sense if you want to protect your husband’s privacy, or even your estranged husband’s privacy. Still, people are shocked that he was the one to leave her, especially because it seems like she still wants to be married to him, and she wants to work it out. It’s just sad. Addiction ruins marriages, it ruins families. And who gets custody of their dog Petunia?
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, IG.
I don’t really “ship” couples, ever so I’m not that invested in their relationship.
It doesn’t seem surprising to me, just seems like this was the right thing to do for himself and his recovery. I truly hope this goes smoothly and that he has the support he needs.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Anna but I think in the end she’ll probably be relieved.
It’s likely that they had different issues before he even went to rehab which is a concept his young fan base is really struggling with. Just a reminder to take all public presentations by celebs with a pinch of salt.
Will be interesting to hear his #divorcedguy material now lol
After seeing some of her Insta pics posted somewhere else (maybe DListed?), I have to wonder if she was any easier to live with. She seems like such a performance artist (the pics I saw had her in profile, with a single tear running from one eye, and in the other she was in full “mourning” gear: lonnnnng black gown, gloves etc; it was even labeled ” “something” mourning”.
I love his comedy; I don’t remember laughing so hard and consistently with many other comedians. In his act, he came across as a very loving husband who adored his wife. His bits about them were hysterical (as is pretty much all his comedy!). But I am *sure* it wasn’t easy living with a sober/recovering addict, just as it isn’t easy living with a drama queen. We’ll never know what was going on in their marriage.
I hope they both find peace and closure.
Yeah, I creeped on her instagram page and she is (justifiably) very deep in her feels.
The photographs are also super gorgeous
I looked at her Instagram last night for the first time in a few years, and it looked like she deleted her original cute/quirky/funny content and started over in 2019 with this I AM A VERY SERIOUS ARTIST persona. It was kind of exhausting.
It was “Good mourning.”
Her page is gorgeous. What is her house even?? It reminds me of Christine McConnell or something. I have serious house envy.
I think John Mulaney is freakishly talented and I was surprised to hear he was an addict (although he has talked about not drinking in his sets.) Sad to hear he is divorcing and sad for his wife, who seems to be… not on board with that decision. And sad for their ugly-adorable dog.
The only happy part of this story is that he is sober again. Wishing all of them happiness.
Rehabs tell people not to get INTO relationships for, say, a year, I would think they’d say don’t get a DIVORCE right away either, w/o being sober and going to couples therapy. Maybe be separated, but a one-sided divorce seems pretty arbitrary.
Both seem to me to be logical, getting into or out of marriage.
This one is such a bummer! He always talked about her so sweetly in his comedy.
I know! He always seemed so stoked to be married. I hope he’s doing well and staying sober, but it’s sad it clearly wasn’t a mutual decision.
Agreed, I loved it when he talked about her, and this makes me sad.
If I’m remembering right, some Mulaney fans were harassing Anna on Instagram when he went into rehab, making her go private for a while. Since he was returning to stand-up last night, she probably released that statement to make sure his fans knew she didn’t drop him after rehab in case it came up in his comedy.
I like them both, I hope nothing bad comes out about either of them in this.
That is awful to hear. I hope nothing comes out about either of them either as I genuinely like them both. Addiction is a beast.
Argh!
At this point, after reading so many different times that “ ‘fans’ harassed so and so on social media” whether the harassment was aimed at a performer, their SO, their former SO, their PA, their coworkers, their neighbors, someone who happened to meet them or pass by them on the street, someone who hired them, someone who didn’t hire them, someone who reviewed a project they worked on, some who got a job they were up for, the person who manages the theater they worked in, other fans … I’m of the opinion that ‘fans’ need to take one giant step back and have a seat for a while. For many whiles, actually.
Entitled ‘fans’ being nasty or even pushy to total strangers is just not a good look on anyone and isn’t doing whatever it is they think it’s doing
I agree – are they really ‘fans’ if they are harassing whoever the person they love is with? Fans are sabotaging the subject of their adoration’s lives!
A really high proportion of that is women attacking other women for just… existing and being involved with some famous guy the harasser will never meet, anyway. It’s odd that it isn’t talked about more in the context of social media harassment which usually focuses on men harassing women and people getting harassed for their politics.
Ehhhhh
Honestly her statement reads as dramatic and kind of manipulative to me. Obviously the basic ‘no comment everything is amicable’ line probably isn’t the truth, but If you don’t want attention then you release a bland statement like Mulaney did.
It does read a bit extra. “I am heartbroken that John has decided to end our marriage.” Was that necessary?
Complete aside — she is giving me major Madonna circa early ’90s vibes in the second picture.
Lol my continued disclaimer is I really like Anna and extend cartoonish levels of benefit of the doubt to the people I like, so I am interpreting that as more “emotional response” and less “manipulative response”.
Maybe she wanted crazy fans to know that it wasn’t her idea. I can see that, wanting to nip that hate train in the bud. Ugh.
I agree with Keats & Merricat. I try to err on the side of hoping they’re not manipulative… Releasing the statement worded that way is probably a good way to go, especially after someone comes out of rehab. If she didn’t let people know that he was the one who wanted to end it, others would assume she did and think she was terrible for doing this in his moment of need blah blah blah.
It’s such a shame—he seemed to adore her. But if he filed after rehab, that tells me that for whatever reason, she is not good for his sobriety. That is really heartbreaking, and nobody’s fault.
Agreed. I feel for them both.
He talked sweetly about her, but he also talked about how she was from a family who knew how to argue and he wasn’t. Sometimes communication styles are enough to make living together impossible for two kind and wonderful people.
His parents are attorneys, so they know how to argue. Maybe not with emotional intelligence.
Attorneys I know argue to win, not necessarily argue to come to a resolution.
And maybe his rehab program put the idea in his head. Unfortunately, some programs push the idea that everyone around you is a toxic enabler, and you have to dump them all and rebuild your social network from the ground up. I lost a boyfriend I adored that way, even though I don’t do drugs, am a very light drinker, and would’ve happily given that up, gone to AlAnon, whatever, to support his sobriety. I was there when he was at his worst, but somebody else got to have him at his best. That was many years ago, but it still feels unfair.
Every person and struggle is different and a lot of rehab programs do not take that into account. Sorry that that happened to you.
This is what I was thinking. This is such a bad idea to do so soon after rehab and he seems to be getting irresponsible advice. You’re typically not supposed to make such major life changes so early on in sobriety. That’s a very basic ground rule in recovery. Just as you don’t jump into relationships right after, you don’t start deconstructing existing ones either. Too much individual work still needs to be done. I was very shocked to hear this happen so soon.
You can separate for some space, as I’ve had friends/family do, and that is often necessary as relationship problems can pile on an addiction issue, and then reevaluate were you stand once you’ve done more work on yourself and are more emotionally prepared. Because it’s almost impossible to objectively analyze such a huge life move like this so early on in recovery.
Rehab tells people not to get INTO relationships for a year so I assume you shouldn’t get a divorce right away either.
You can be separated if it’s headed that way, but divorce is a heavy emotional toll.
Why not have couples therapy now that you’re in recovery?
It doesn’t feel very wise to me to get a fast divorce like this.
If he thinks the problem is drugs and her, he’ll discover it’s really HIM and his EGO. Addiction has an ego component, even if self esteem is low.
They used to say, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
I assumed the same, he might just be putting his sobriety first.
That was my first thought as well, Merricat.
Yea, no one really knows what goes in behind closed doors, but this was my thought as well.
@Merricat Yes that was my thought too, and what I essentially commented. Sometimes in order to stay sober, people need to completely change many dynamics in their lives.
Yes, and it’s not a judgment of the other person; it just is the way it is.
I hope he keeps his distance from Pete Davidson. That relationship always concerned me.
I read rumors about them months ago. It sounds more like this is another pandemic related divorce unfortunately. According to the rumors, their problems contributed to John’s relapse, it wasn’t the relapse that brought on the divorce. I’m sad for them but not surprised although since it’s been so long since he left treatment, I had assumed that maybe they were working it out.
That’s a bummer. But either way is a bummer, I guess.
It makes sense if the pandemic was too much for their marriage to survive and he relapsed. I remember watching him zoom in on a late night show and thinking there was no way he was zooming from his marital home. The room was odd, void of personality or things. I really hope the best for both of them.
His comedy bits about her all have a bit of an edge, though. They’re loving, but there’s also always some…resentment/frustration that comes through. He’s a comedian, and it’s always seemed to me that he was taking what were likely real problems and using them for material. That’s what comedians do. Oh well. Bummer, but I hope it’s the best for them both.
I thought the same thing. There was an edge.
there was a video circulating on Twitter earlier today of Mulaney at the Emmys in 2019; he was clutching his Emmy & explaining to Bill Hader that Anna wasn’t there with him because she didn’t want to fly from NYC to LA for an award show when she didn’t think he would win. Hader looks askance and Mulaney looks a bit sheepish about it too.
obviously it’s only one moment and who knows what goes on in a marriage, but I agree with you both about the ‘edge’ in his comedy about his wife/marriage. add in the pressure of 2020, quarantine, addiction, and this divorce is sad but unsurprising.
Is it possible that he was off the wagon, or not taking his sobriety seriously at that point, and she refused to be in situations where there was easy access to hard core partying with him? I’m not comfortable with the posters on here speculating that he had to divorce her as she was bad for his sobriety. This is a grown man responsible for his own sobriety, and honestly he is best pals with Pete Davidson but sure his wife is the one endangering his recovery.
I agree w you Zapp. I love them both, and the speculations that she was somehow bad for him seems really unfair. I follow her on instagram and she’s v talented in her own right, deeply artistic, thoughtful, humane. And she also has a life and talents of her own. To me there seemed a deep feminism to their relationship, something I admired, that they could both grow and evolve in untraditional ways, not that she would drop everything to be at his side for what may have seemed like yet another awards show. Add to that, she was groped by Ben Affleck at an event, so may have been put off by the whole scene. And yes Zapp too to the Pete Davidson thing — I have a soft spot for him too, but I worried that he might be a bad influence on JM. So sad all around, and just hope JM will be okay…
I also don’t like the implication that Anna was the one pushing him off the wagon or somehow a ‘bad influence’ for his sobriety – I agree with you that he’s a grown, adult man, and it’s his ultimately responsibility.
I do think the Emmys clip is quite telling, though – that Mulaney openly says Anna didn’t come because she didn’t think he would win. if it was my husband and we had discussed one of us not flying a long way for an event (especially with the context of her prior experience, @Sue Denim), I’d hope that, if asked, he would diplomatically say I couldn’t make it but was very proud of him. the comment that ‘Anna didn’t think I would win’ is really odd to me. and if this was in April 2019 then that oddness would be easily compounded during quarantine.
I think there’s a difference between saying “she’s bad for him and his sobriety” and saying “they had longstanding problems and these problems may have been a contributing factor in his relapse.” I don’t know enough about them to have any idea of either of these statement are true, but I do think he could have left her to protect his sobriety without that actually blaming her for his relapse.
I’d hate to be married to a comedian, living with the possibility that all the relationship highs and lows end up as fodder for their act.
My jokes about my husband, who I love and am committed to, have an edge. lol Marriage is work.
yeah, he can be a real sass-pants about things. maybe they just realized they were good for each other at one point in their lives, but times change and sometimes relationships don’t change with it.
Weird bc I thought you were encouraged not to make any big life decisions while in recovery….
His jokes about her/them are hilarious and I thought she would be the stable part of his life he could return to….I did not see him divorcing her as an option, honestly.
He’s a comedic genius. I sincerely hope he can recovery and stay clean he has a lot to offer. Sad.
Yes! That was my first thought. You’re usually discouraged from making major life decisions in early recovery.
That would make sense, and I am surprised to hear that some recovery programs encourage you to re-assess everyone in your life who might be an “enabler”. Is she an enabler because she tolerated his drinking and doing cocaine? He’s an adult and they were not kids when they met, unless she promised to “reform” him I fail to see how she is making it worse. I don’t know what was going on in their marriage and I don’t fault either of them, but I do feel badly for her. Her husband has asked to end their marriage, that has to suck.
You definitely are. Unless the person is actively sabotaging your sobriety or contributing to facilitating you getting drugs. Those types of people are cut out.
But everyone else you’re supposed to reevaluate any major life decisions later on in sobriety when you have a clearer mind and more tools in your toolbox to work through problems and cope with things.
(Ugh, a family member of mine had to do this when their spouse ran into problems. But they did it to be a decent person. They were on the road to divorce before despite the addiction issues, so when the addiction people were like no major decisions for the first year, it was rough. Not on them as much, but they had kids waiting in limbo and they ultimately divorced anyways. But the counselors and psychiatrists were firm about this rule.)
That was my first thought too. But I’m only familiar with AA/al-anon and not other programs.
Team Petunia
This is sad, but I can’t say I am surprised. As others have noted, his jokes about her had an edge. Do you remember when he won an Emmy how he said she didn’t want to go with him because he wouldn’t win anyway? And that she hated comedy? It seemed clear then that there were some issues.
In some interview ages ago he mentioned that she once said she would have liked to meet him back when he drank. So that was always a weird comment to me. Oh I think it was on marc marons podcast
This is sad, but a reminder that addictions are not a singular issue with just the addict. They don’t simply go away for 60/90 days to a rehab facility, and come back to life, and viola, life is perfect again. There are reasons they are addicts, and unfortunately, many of those reasons are dysfunctional family/romantic relationships. As others have pointed out, perhaps he made the decision, she was not productive for his sobriety, and that is why he had to end their marriage. Always sad when a marriage ends, but if it ends up helping him stay sober, that is a positive thing. At least no children are involved here!!
I have always been a huge fan of his comedy, and was very disheartened to learn of his relapse. I am glad to see he is taking the steps back to recovery. He is truly a great talent. Hope to see him back soon!
no children? what about Petunia? 🙁 seriously, this made me really sad. I love them all (J, A and P) and hope this is a step toward healing and happiness for them all, but it seems like a not great time to make such a big decision? Sigh too…this was a relationship I really looked up to…
@Sue Denim awww yes, you are right – of course Petunia xoxo
I pray for healing and happiness for them too. I just think he may be putting his sobriety first, which is 100% necessary for true recovery. I know all too well about addiction, b/c my ex husband was a drug addict (cocaine and heroin) and alcoholic, and it completely upended our lives and destroyed our marriage. It’s a horrible disease that no one should have to face. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy!
so sorry to hear that, Amy B, thanks for sharing, hope life is easier for you now…and yes, seems like such a hard hard road to travel…
AmyB- Agreed! Sorry about your ex & having to deal with that. As you said, I wouldn’t wish that Odyssey on anyone. I had a drinking issue & my ex (we all have our own demons) was not supportive of me quitting and ashamed that I was in recovery. I didn’t think I could stay sober & stay in that relationship, so we picked the healthiest option and ended it. I’m sober, he’s happier & life goes on…..
You seem very wise & compassionate, so I would say, based on a couple celebitchy quotes, that you are doing quite well as well.
@MM2 @Sue Denim Thank you xoxo I am in a much better place, thank you. We divorced over a decade ago, and he finally got sober. Therefore, we are much better able to co-parent our daughter. Addiction is a horrible thing to deal with, and I wish I had found Al-anon at that time. But, I certainly learned a lot about taking care of myself, co-dependency, and establishing boundaries. You cannot save anyone, even those you love and that is a hard lesson to learn. @MM2, I am happy to hear you found sobriety as well! It is terribly difficult to leave a relationship in order to maintain that, so kudos to you. That is what I think John Mulaney may be doing here, but no one really knows the whole story except them.
That’s sad to hear. I wish him the best in his recovery, and hopefully this ends up being the right decision for them both.
They were so cute! I didn’t see this coming, at least from his side. He seemed to adore her.
That’s really sad, and unfortunate that she seems upset by his choice. I wish them the best. (BTW, I follow her on Insta and she seems to have custody of Petunia.)
This news made me sad. They’ve always seemed liked a strong couple to me-but addiction can be a beast. Addiction + a pandemic I can’t even fan thing. I just hope they are in a good mental place and are both happy and getting therapy.
Personally I think it had something to do with touring. I had heard she and his family had staged a intervention and he was pissed about that. 5 days after he announces surprise pop up shows AT A WINERY-he announces he’s leaving her? It feels like she pushed about going back out there to soon and he snapped and ended it.
But he filed for divorce months ago?
« Tendler — an artist who works across many mediums.. »
I want this job description, I seriously do, I’m an Information Systems engineer =/
I’’m sure there are others here who, like me, have friends who split during the pandemic. Maybe even friends we never would have suspected would split.
So there’s rehab which forced John to face issues he might not have been facing, therapy which is part of rehab in which one has to do that (is couples therapy a part of rehab?), and the stoppage of everything about “normal life” during the pandemic that might force some couples to deal with issues they otherwise found ways to be too busy to deal with.
Or
He met someone else in rehab.
entirely possible. this is a thing that happens.
also people can have differing views on what commitment means. when I got married, I meant it. the ex said he “meant it then.”
Or she had an affair.
Oh no, this is so sad to hear. I am not very familiar with Anna and what she does but she always came across like a tough yet loveable character in John’s stand up. I enjoy John’s comedy but weirdly, I am not the hugest fan of his comedy specials on Netflix. Maybe there’s something missing that I can only experience during a live show? I’ve always enjoyed him in interviews and have always giggled during those, I seem to enjoy his unrehearsed stuff versus his polished stand up on a big stage.
Who knows what was going on behind the scenes, but I’m sure John’s relapse probably affected their marriage. I don’t think it’s fair to make assumptions about Anna and how she affected his sobriety. I kind of hold out hope that they may reconcile but if they don’t, I wish them both well. At least they didn’t have kids together, John was always open about how neither of them wanted kids (but maybe that was something that changed down the line, who knows). They just need to figure out custody for their dog.
I agree, I don’t think it’s fair to Anna to blame her for the divorce. He’s an addict who relapsed. That’s a huge deal and would cause many marriages to fall apart, especially since she met him while he was sober and previously never knew him firsthand while he was actively using and drinking.
When I heard the news this morning, I told my husband that I don’t know if I could stay with him if he became addicted to cocaine and an alcoholic. And we’re a pretty healthy couple, in my opinion! Your spouse would be an entirely different person.
Poor Petunia though! I hope they can share custody.
I’m honestly not surprised. Addiction is a huge strain on a marriage. I’m a little surprised he’s the one who filed, but we really don’t know (or are entitled to know) the reasons behind that. He may have chosen to do that so fans wouldn’t harass her about leaving him.
I wish them both the best and hope that John can continue to be successful in his recovery.
I don’t know their situation at all but it is exhausting to be the person who has to be high functioning at all times to keep things from being a disaster and manage every situation, you just end up on high alert at all times and it affects your dynamic as a couple.
I’m gonna guess that some shit went down during couples counseling during his rehab and process groups. I agree that he shouldn’t be making any big life decisions in his first year of sobriety, but I’m also curious if she was willing to go to Al-Anon. I know that rehabs encourage spouses to find their own programs. New sobriety is no joke and it’s all hands on deck. As someone who has been affected by alcoholism and addiction, it won’t work if he is the only one willing to change. It’s none of my business, but I’m really curious about that.
Sometimes the partner who had the addiction issues is like “all my bad behavior is linked to my addiction and I am addressing that. You don’t really have an excuse for your bad behavior and oh, btw, I made a list of all of that, here you go.” I don’t think people get away with that as much as they used to, I think the culture around addiction has changed a bunch but I know two people who had an experience like that.
I love his witty comedy and the whole situation has made me sad. Wishing both of them and Petunia all the best!
Do we know whether she also suffers from addiction?
No, I really doubt it. She seems to lead a v quiet, creative life, he’s joked about that. But I sense — esp from her instagram — that this really is heartbreaking for her.
so painful
So at his first performance post rehab The TV critic called Mulaney’s performance “remarkably raw, vulnerable, personal,” sharing a satirical joke from the comic’s set, in which he said, “When I’m alone, I realize I’m with the person who tried to kill me.”
Oh wow-i want to give him a hug.
I grew up with a recovered alcoholic parent, so I am very sympathetic to those working on their sobriety. John and Anna don’t have kids and she’s an adult. In this instance, he’s only gotta do what’s best for him.
Silver lining- he can finally get that Best Buy rewards card.
Ha! Best thing I’ve read today on the internets…
Sixty days in rehab is a lot of time left to reflect. It’s a fragile time coming out back into the world. If he left her, that means the marriage wasn’t on solid ground to begin with and he faced up to it. I would think that usually you would be leaning heavily on your spouse when you get out. I don’t know, though, as I don’t have any experience with this.
I actually don’t know who he is, but he sounds like a performer I want to check out. I hope life brings him everything he wants and needs, including happiness and sobriety.
Below is an article on his first appearance doing stand-up comedy. It says he mentioned that he tried a rehab stint last fall that didn’t stick. His intervention group for his most recent rehab included Seth Myers. He and his wife might have been separated at the time of his last intervention in December before he entered rehab. When Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode got out of rehab and the halfway house and was back home and started performing live again he had a sober coach with him. The chance of relapse was too great. He had one for quite a while. He’s been clean of drugs and alcohol for 22 years or so now. But he said it was extremely hard at first and you are very fragile.
https://www.showbiz411.com/2021/05/10/exclusive-john-mulaney-returns-to-the-stage-141-days-sober-i-was-the-best-looking-person-at-my-intervention
I’m surprised at how many here seem to be blaming her. She should see it as a blessing that he walked away. A recovering addict changes drastically after getting sober and are all over the place. I feel bad for her because it’s such a confusing time. One would think getting sober would FIX problems, but it doesn’t.
That’s a shame, but unfortunately having a sister who is married to a former addict and a brother who is one, he may be doing her a favor in the long run even if it’s not what she wants. That’s a tough road for a couple, no matter how much they love other, and relapses always take their toll on both partners.
Maybe he feels that he has to completely change his environment to stay sober.