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Kristen Bell was on Ellen’s show, with Chelsea Handler hosting, to promote her “Happy Dance” CBD line. Kristen’s segment airs today and I’m not going to pretend like I’ve watched all of it. I’m just going by the four minute preview clip on E!’s site, which was plenty for me. There’s only so much Kristen I can take. Of course Kristen talked about how much she and her husband, Dax Shepard, annoy each other as that’s a talking point for both of them. Dax just told a story on Kimmel about how Kristen always gets more attention than he does. On Ellen, Kristen said that their therapist told them to do separate sessions from their usual couples therapy so they could “talk sh-t about each other.” Supposedly that worked for them. Here’s some of what she said:
On how she makes it work with Dax
At the beginning of the pandemic we were at each other’s throats, like we had to stay inside, and we were like, ‘Woof, we need to get a handle on the annoyances.’ And our therapist, Harry… suggested since we were both so annoyed with each other… because the reality is, if you are living with one human being, I don’t care if it’s your partner or your husband or your wife or your roommate, you need to brush up on your toolbox because you will find that person annoying. Relationships take work. He suggested we go to therapy separately so that we could talk sh-t about each other. And we did and it’s been great.
Every two weeks or so, I’ll see Harry via Zoom and complain about Dax. Then he’ll give me all the reasons why I’m wrong, and then Dax will do the same. Then, by the time we meet up in the evening, we love each other again because our toolboxes are bigger. When you have a third party moderating any disagreement it’s always a safer place. Because when two people are talking, defense mechanisms and cortisol and all that stuff it just messes up the situation.
Read that last sentence. She’s saying they still have trouble discussing things after about 14 years together. They’ve admitted they have spent multiple days not talking to each other despite living together and having kids. It doesn’t sound healthy, but at least their therapist helps. I think the therapist realized that these two weren’t able to be in the same room together and discuss their issues so that’s why he split them up. Plus now he can charge for two sessions.
As for the quote in the title, about people getting annoyed with each other when they’re living together, it’s somewhat true. I think it’s just a matter of degrees. I’ve never gone a full day without talking to someone I live with.