Valerie Bertinelli was the recipient of some as*holery when someone commented on one of posts, suggesting that she needed to lose weight. Valerie, who has been open about her struggles with her weight, responded with a tearful and frustrated video. Valerie told the commenter that their comment wasn’t f*cking helpful. Valerie received love and support from her son Wolfgang and other celebrities, like Michelle Branch and Demi Lovato, after posting the video. Below are few more highlights from Entertainment Tonight:
“Someone…decided to point out that I need to lose weight,” she said, tearing up. “…You’re not being helpful.”
“When you see somebody who has put some weight on, my first thought is that person is obviously going through some things, because if I could lose the weight and keep it off, I would,” she continued. “But since I haven’t been successful with that my whole entire life, at 61 I’m still dealing with [it]. You think I’m not tired of it, lady?”
Bertinelli has had a tough year, as her ex-husband, Eddie Van Halen, died last October. “Where’s the compassion?” she asked her Instagram followers. “You think a stupid little comment like ‘you need to lose weight,’ not f**king helpful.”
The actress was also very candid about her emotions in the caption for her video. “Aren’t we tired of body shaming women yet?! smh,” she wrote. “I was going to delete my stories because it’s a little embarrassing and scary to be so vulnerable. But then I realized it was hitting a ‘good’ nerve with so many of you who were so sweet to dm and share your same vulnerability and struggles. We all could use a little more kindness and patience and grace, because we just never know what someone else is going through. So here it is. Not deleting. Owning it. ♥️ #compassion”
Bertinelli’s son, Wolfgang Van Halen, commented on his mother’s vulnerable message, writing, “You’re perfect the way you are, Ma. I love you ❤️ (also for no particular reason, what was that f**ker’s @ so I can harass them with memes?)”
Watching this video of Valerie hurt. It hit home. People are unhappy and cruel. I have never understood the need to make such personal attacks on people, especially women, about their weight or age. It is unnecessary in a public forum. I really believe that tech companies need to create some sort of buffer or filter so that this sort of toxic behavior is no longer acceptable. My heart goes out to Valerie because I grew up watching her on TV and I know that she has struggled with her body image for quite some time. And it is easy for us to say that Valerie shouldn’t read the comments but that is honestly easier said than done. Anyways, I hope Valerie is surrounded by support and love and I am here for her son hunting down the troll and spamming them with memes.
Valerie posted this video thanking people for their kindness.
There’s a special place in Hell for people who are mean to Valerie Bertinelli, who has to be one of the nicest people on earth.
Seriously. Not to mention she looks pretty damn great.
Absolutely!! I have watched her grow up and she is the sweetest girl!!! Yes, she looks fabulous for her age!!
She looks pretty damn filtered.
@R you really missed the message on this post, didn’t you?
@R – and you look pretty damn ugly.
@lightpurple
THANK YOU YES PLEASE
I think she looks great! When she was a Jenny Craig spokesperson it seemed like it was taking a crazy amount of diet and exercise to maintain her Jenny Craig goal weight.
I love her look now and just…love her.
She is so sweet and you NEVER hear anyone that she works with ever say anything bad about her. And she’s gorgeous. Always has been and always will be. She’s had a tough year with Eddie passing away and people just need to stay in their own lanes. I wish Hot In Cleveland would have never ended. Loved that show and love those ladies.
I ♥️ Valerie, she did not deserve that sh*t.
WORD.
Leave my Valerie alone!!!
Trash people.
Good for her!
Damn it, nobody needs that crap.
VB is getting older, people have changes as they age.
How F N weird is it that celebs are “supposed” to never age?
Plus, it is rude! Rude.
The internet is causing a lot of folks to just become online A-Holes.
Btw, Valerie B. and David Lee Roth have the same issues with fans.
The original VH fans can not accept the fact that DLR has aged.
DLR was at the top of his game 30-40 years ago, and he was at the time, the best frontman in arena rock. Eddie was the talent, DLR was the show.
Had to go look up DLR and he looks fine to me! (I am same age as Valerie.) His new song sounds pretty damn good, too. xx
As someone who has “personal stock” in the yo-yo dieting world, I do relate: I’ve been on this particular “string” for my entire life. I remember being put on a “diet” at 8!! 8!! I was about 10 lbs. too heavy then. I’m now 64. As Joan Rivers put it: “I’ve lost and re-lost so much weight in my life I should be hanging from a charm bracelet!”. I would loose, regain, loose, regain that amount PLUS more, rinse repeat ad nauseam. At my heaviest, I was 340 lbs (at 5’2″, so you can get the picture).
15 yrs. ago I had gastric bypass; it took about 18 mos. to lose 140 lbs and keep it off, and then I stalled. For YEARS. But I kept that off. It was a huge struggle, I’d go up a few lbs, and down. I weighed myself religiously every day, bowing down to that glass God on the bathroom floor. If I was a few lbs up, I had a miserable day. If it was the same (or PRAISE THE HEAVENS!) down a lb or two, I had a euphoric day. It literally ruled my life.
FF to 7 yrs ago, when I got sick with Leukemia. I lost only 10 lbs in the hospital, but when I got home, as I recovered, I really had no appetite, and it like re-set my stomach, so I tried and lost another 45 lbs over a year, to get me to where I am now. And it is STILL a struggle to keep it off. I will NEVER NOT have to watch what/how much I eat (and yes, while GB *does* reduce your stomach size, it does stretch out again if you are not careful, and you *can* regain it all back (see Carne Wilson, who’s done this dance twice that I know of ). I STILL weigh (and record) my weight daily to keep track. It’s MUCH too easy for me to gain as I age, and it’s a bitch to get the weight off now.
Long story to get to this point, I know! But I do know how Valerie feels. You’d have to be heartless to not feel/empathize with what she says, the pain she shows. I don’t think *anyone* wants to be made to feel ugly, uncomfortable in her skin. We all have our struggles, some more visible than others.
I know I’m guilty of doing it to Keen Kate (will try and be better!)
Wow you have been through a lot. That’s an amazing life story and you’re still going! Awesome.
*the things said about Kate on this board should make many blush with shame.
💜 Darla!
It’s definitely easier to cut down someone you “dislike” (as much as you can dislike someone you don’t know) from behind an anonymous computer screen.
I know I will try to keep my comments about her (and others!) to observable behaviors, and not body issues.
Being too thin is as much a cross to bear for some as being too heavy. Something (as I, an “always” heavy person (in my head) should always remember, as hard as that is to relate to!) 😊
Yes, I was like that in my 20’s and there are a lot of mental and emotional contributors, none of them good as I’m sure you can imagine. 🙂
@ (TheOG) Jan90067, I am terribly sorry for what your body has been through. You have certainly have been out through the ringer! And you are right that there are people who struggle their entire years. No one has the right to look down on anyone and I know that your struggle is real at it’s a struggle everyday. You wince when you get on the scale and as we age, it gets harder to get the weight off.
I will think of you each day as you have had a hard road in your life and deserve peace and a lovely life with happiness and love!!
💜💜 Thank you BothSidesNow. Your reply touched me deeply. I much appreciate your kindness!
Wishing you every happiness in life as well 😊. Hugs!
Huge hugs to you @OG. I watched my mother struggle with her weight all her life, every. Damn. Day. Every. Damn. Meal. She was a beautiful, kind, intelligent, loving human being who always felt ‘less than’ because of it and it truly negatively affected her so much. And I know from her it’s SO hard. As such I read your story with awe. You rock. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Ty The Hench 💜
Sadly, I know just how your mother felt. I have a lifetime of being told (beginning from 7-8 yrs old), “Oh, you have *such* a pretty face, IF ONLY you were thinner!” “Your life would be *so* much better/happier, IF ONLY you were thinner!” And yes, like water wearing on a stone, it does eat away at you after years and years of hearing it, it becomes so internalized, so much a *part* of you, it *becomes* your self-worth. I can’t tell you the number of years, decades!, I was self-loathing, and berating myself for lack of control. As we know now, “self-control” is a very small part of weight. It’s hormones, genetics, emotional, even the enviornment we grow up in/live in… so much more than just “self-control” for those of us with life-long weight issues.
So thank you for your kind words and thoughts. It is *so* much appreciated!!
@ (TheOG) Jan90067, more hugs of support to you! Dieting and calorie counting is a tough way to eat and it can be so demoralizing when the scale doesn’t match the effort (and emotional toll dieting takes). And people are so much more than their weight!
I started listening to a podcast called Maintenance Phase that is a body positive, skeptical discussion about the weight loss industry. The hosts are critical of how the media & society views fatness and they are also funny. If you need a laugh, the episode on Celery Juice is funny.
Ty Pusspants! 💜 It’s taken me over 50 yrs. to realize that I don’t have to *deny* myself when I really want something, but to portion control, and *allow* myself to enjoy that portion. Whaddaconcept!!! Right?? And doing that, I find that I really don’t need that much to satisfy that craving. I’m also (still!) learning not to beat myself up if I *do* have a “bad” day, just to realize the Scale God will not be kind that morning, but it’s a new day to make better choices. It’s a good thing that we’re never too old/it’s never too late to learn new things!
I will definitely check out the podcast! Thank you! And thank you again for your kind words/thoughts! It means a lot to have the support of my fellow CBers! Hugs!
@(TheOG) Jan90067 – you are an inspiration. My sister died of eating disorders in 1989, and part of the reason was my mother, who had a perfect 36-26-36 figure, couldn’t understand how her daughter could turn out to be a heavy-boned, big shouldered girl (we take after my dad’s side of the family) and was constantly telling her she was too fat from an early age. It’s still traumatic to think about her death to this day.
You be you and if that means you’re carrying some extra weight — more of you to love.
Big hugs!
It doesn’t matter the reason, but I am sure she struggles in large part because she starved herself when young to be on tv. This is the story of so many in that business. Very hard to watch, I cried. There are people in this world who go through their lives making others feel worse. Choose kindness are not just two words. It’s an important concept.
I will NEVER forget an interview with Julianne Moore where she said just that: having to be on a continual diet to fit into the idea of the director and clothes designers’ ideas of what she needs to look like to get work. She said she was ALWAYS hungry. ALWAYS. That has stuck with me for years, and every time I see her on screen, I wonder, did she have *anything* substantial to eat that day? Something besides dry lettuce?
It’s such a sad way to live, but I guess she made her choice that the jobs are worth it. I really hope in her “down time” she splurges a little before getting back on that particular hunger-go-round for the next job.
It’s really awful sounding. And I think it’s why so many of them smoke so much, even today. Which ages their faces, so then they start with the injectables, and we mock them for that. Women can’t win!
It is. Smoking kills the taste buds. I know my mom and her friends started smoking as teens to look cool AND to kill their appetites. She never could completely quit it 😢
But you’re right: the “smoker’s mouth” produces lines (which is why we see the “Trout Pout/Duck Bill” of fillers in the upper lip to smooth the lines), the Botox for the eye squints, cheek fillers to compensate for the thinness of the face/broken down collagen… and the more the face sags, the more that is injected, rinse repeat.
Julia Roberts’s character in Notting Hill said the same thing and I think of that often when people say that it’s easy to be thin. I don’t think being truly hungry is easy, or a natural condition.
I was working on a shoot once with Erin O’Connor (v tall, skinny professional model) and when we all trooped off to the canteen for lunch she sat in a dressing room on her own and ate a bowl of lettuce. Just …lettuce. And I thought then how hard it must be for women whose bodies are on show all the time. I had another friend do a shoot with Cheryl Cole and Cheryl wouldn’t let them shoot below her shoulders after lunch because she was “too fat” – her words. It’s utterly brutal.
Yeah, she was under enormous pressure to be thin, lose weight as a teen/young woman, not just from her own expectations but from industry people around her.
On ODAAT she costarred with Mackenzie Phillips who naturally had a taller thinner body type (and may have been even thinner because of the things/pressures SHE was struggling with) and I remember some pretty brutal comparisons aimed at VB and her curvy figure.
I remember an interview with her in TV Guide (anybody old enough to remember TV Guide?), and she seemed very stressed. She smoked, then begged the reporter “please don’t say that I smoke!” because she needed to keep her image (obviously, the reporter reported that she smoked). Then she said something like “Eddie like thin women” and rubbed her thigh — the gut punch was the reporter described it as “patting her thigh and wishing it wasn’t so well-rounded.” This was a supposedly friendly, low-stakes interview yet I thought it gave just a sliver of what actresses go through.
As a teen, I was often told I resembled Valerie. I loved her already and still do. I wish body shamers would just quit, so toxic. I love Valerie standing against this crap.
Valerie Bertinelli is at the age of not caring any more. As a matter of fact, tell these commenter to “KISS MY FAT ASS” like Tyra Banks two decades ago.
I watched her insta story, it was so sad…I felt so sorry for her. People are so cruel. Haven’t we all gained and lost weight over the years? For me it’s the same dam 10-20 lbs. And I’ve been on so many different diets and tried so many things, but you know, I love to eat and I love to cook and who the f#$k cares. I don’t even have any personal issues that I can blame it on really, I just f#$king like to eat!! I get tired of the judging. She is just such a happy person and then for someone to bring her down like that just broke my heart. I just love her.
The “she shouldn’t read the comments” thing is such a weak victim blaming tactic. Why should she have to skip the comments, one of the whole points of social media? Why should the onus be on her, the offended party?
Fat shamers are some of THE worst people. “Oh, I’m concerned about fat people’s health.” BULLSHONEY. Studies show that a little padding is actually protective for people’s health, and even if you were telling someone who is obese that they need to lose weight wouldn’t do jack for their health. It’s way more dangerous to be skinny fat, but those people fly under the insult radar. “It’s simple to lose weight, CICO! Get moving!” I can assure you, that is not the case. No matter what, for fat shamers, it’s always the fat person’s fault, always. You’re lying, you didn’t count right, your calories are too low, your calories are too high, you ate the wrong things (which, if it’s truly just a matter of calories, that shouldn’t matter), you didn’t exercise enough, you exercised too much, you ate too often, you didn’t eat often enough, you should have tried IF, you should never IF… Guess what, puppies? It ain’t easy. The doctors who treat obesity know of one cure for obesity and it’s bariatric surgery.
It’s very difficult 50 and up anyway. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I noticed a lot of my long time gf’s gaining weight. And I also noticed those who didn’t don’t really eat. One of my closest friends, has a very small breakfast, no lunch, and “grazes” for dinner, which seems to mean she eats a little chicken and maybe later a cracker. I know that for myself, I really don’t eat much anymore. I can’t. Most of my life I watched what I ate during the week and ate whatever I wanted on the weekends and was fine, but that’s not the case anymore. Gone are the days of Sunday bagels. And I exercise a lot. A lot. The more my 50’s march on, the more pain that exercise causes me, and I know the day is coming I’ll say f it all.
As we age and go through menopause EVERYTHING changes for most of us. I know I weigh less than I ever did as an adult before, but my waistline is 3″ thicker than ever before! Where I had a nice “curve” at my waist, even just a few yrs ago, I’m now more rectangular, despite the weight loss. Loss of estrogen also contributes to being unable to lose weight.
I also find that I *must* have way fewer carbs (and like Oprah, I LOVE bread!!! Restricting it is a particular hardship for me! lol), so if I have some multi-grain bread with breakfast, that’s it for the day.
I also found during Covid that I can’t have as much wine every day anymore. I used to do a glass or two (one before dinner, *maybe* one with dinner), and it wasn’t a big deal. Coupled with moving a LOT less during lockdown, I found I put on the dreaded Covid 20 (which I am now 2 lbs. shy of having taken off…yay me. lol). But I only “indulge” in some wine maybe 2-3 days per week max now.
But yes.. eating changes a BIG deal as we age. We also *need* less food as we age. Sigh… oh well…Life is a series of trade-offs. And having weight issues just makes it a little harder.
This is legit terrifying to me. I am almost totally unable to lose weight unless I’m pregnant (and then my body torches it off), and I’m nowhere near 50 yet. I don’t even make attempts anymore because all that happens is that my hunger gets turned even further up and I’m even more inclined to gain weight.
It feels like a rigged game, and listening to thin people (or worse, formerly fat people for whom it really was just bad habits that they needed to stop) lecture about how it’s so easy is rage inducing.
🗣🗣🗣 VALERIE IS AN ICON!! HOW DARE THEY!!!
People need to stop judging and criticizing people for their looks, even when they are famous.
Usually women are the target for abuse in this way, so go patriarchy? /s
Yet a lot of folks that come to this site make rude comments about women’s hair/make-up/what they have on, who they are dating, etc. I guess it depends on WHO the woman is…
Body shaming isn’t as prevalent on Celebitchy as it is on other sites. Most commenters here know that criticizing someone for being overweight is off limits, but apparently it’s still ok to criticize those who are underweight. Weight is such a loaded, triggering topic for so many people. Even if a mean weight comment is not directed at you, if it strikes a nerve it can still hurt.
People suck and Valerie Bertinelli is stunning at any size.
I don’t understand why someone feels the need to tell her that. It is just unnecessary and cruel.
Whoever said that to her obviously is a miserable, angry person.
It was mean for that guy to say that. But people are mean and rude in general. The hate thrown at celebrities and people in general is offensive. So why Valerie may be hurt just like Julia Robert’s was is because they never
Have experienced hatred towards them some celebrities do. Get used to it and move on. They shame women for everything 🤷🏽♀️
name checks out.
🙂
They are, but it usually happens on a smaller scale for the average person. When you’re famous, it’s almost like public shaming because you’re that much more visible, so I think it hits a little harder. We all know that that kind of visibility comes with the territory, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear, especially not when an attack is unprovoked like that.
Oya, I enjoy reading the things you author here and I appreciate your positivity and mentioning body shaming, bullying, etc. That’s disgusting behavior even if someone doesn’t like the person they’re complaining about. I’ll never forget wondering why Chadwick Boseman was getting so thin and am ashamed to say I worried that he was into something bad. No….he was dying. People only know a silver of someone’s life. Choose kindness!
I love her cooking show and she is someone I would love to hang out with to cook
Her crispy chicken thigh and leek bake is my go to comfort meal
Love that she got so much support
No one deserves to be trolled like that
When will people learn that minding their own business is free and easy.
I saw this last week when Valerie posted it. I could so relate to her weight struggle. I am so tired of people telling other people to lose or gain weight. It is no one’s business!!
I love Valerie and she is gorgeous!
I don’t know what goes through people’s heads when they make comments like this. Even if you’re thinking it, do you really have to let them know? It’s not helpful, and it isn’t as if you’re waving a magic wand with your words and melting the pounds off of them in an instant. It’s just mean and pointless.
From reading sites like CB, GFY, Jez, etc and following the MeToo movement, it’s been astounding and disheartening to realize just how much women’s bodies are considered public property. Even websites and social media that are completely unrelated to fashion or celebrity have commenters who appoint themselves judges and rate the appearance (particularly weight and figure) of the women they see. Men are the worst, blatantly declaring who’s “hot” vs. “not,” but women do it, too, and I’m ashamed to admit I get sucked into it every now and then (and my figure definitely puts me in the “not” category for most people).
I don’t know how we break such an entrenched mindset, other than we have to just keep chipping away at it and hope we get it to crumble.
The fact is, anyone who posts anything online will always have the supporters and the haters. Do I feel for her? Absolutely. Am I surprised at some of the responses? No. We live in a world where you’re going to deal with some great people, and some nasty a$$holes. It doesn’t matter what the topic is and who it deals with. If you can’t accept that, don’t do it.
I remember during Hot In Cleveland when she broke her foot and gained some weight because of it and it wasn’t really that much, but it shows up on camera as a lot more. And people were giving her a hard time for gaining weight. It could not have helped working next to Wendy Malick and Jane Leeves who are both tall and model thin.
Oh yes, this is a big part of it, the camera. I worked with politicians at one point, not directly, but they would come to our organization often, and I would never stop being surprised at Senators or Congressmen I thought were “husky” who were like 6’3 and very slim. And the women were always so much smaller all around than they appeared on tv. Those cameras are BRUTAL.
I’ve always liked her, since I was a small girl and watched “One Day at a Time.” I think she’s still gorgeous and seems like a really nice person.
I am NOT defending the attacks on her, and I think those people are sadistic misogynistic a-holes because they obviously want to pick on a woman and shame her publicly for aging? Living? For being more attractive than they are?
But, I do hope Valerie thinks twice about shilling for a diet company again. She made money off of selling a diet plan to women by playing into the same stereotype and insecurities. I’m not calling out only her, but (obviously) Kirstie Alley, Marie Osmond, etc. (And similarly, models like Cindy Crawford who obviously had work done, but insists it’s “natural” so they can shill a product and get even richer). It is all part of the same culture that leads to nasty people like the ones who attacked Valerie herself, for falling short of the perfection that these shills pretend is within reach of every woman.
I feel like other people are more concerned about my weight loss or gain than I am. Of course I would love to be within my BMI but there are more important things in life than being thin. My weight fluctuates and others will make “helpful” comments. It’s decreased as I’ve gotten older but I feel I can’t win with my body. When I’m on the thinner side people stare and make comments too. Men: About how sexy I am, I look so good. Women: how did you lose it? I get so tired of seeing/hearing about weight. Whether it’s good or bad. New subject please!
I agree that I’m tired of people talking about weight in general. I don’t want to hear things about looking slim or keeping my figure into my forties. It just makes me think that my weight is my worth.
Agreed! I’m tired of people talking about weight.
I’ve grown up watching Valerie and always thought she was adorable. Still to this day she’s Authentic, and from what I read about her she’s very kind and generous not to mention very talented. I feel bad that she’s hurting like this, but, what these trolls should realize is that there only keeping themselves in a continued state of karmic misery. Also, from what I read is that Valerie is worth around $25 million!! She is an extremely successful woman and only has herself to thank for all her accomplishments…chew on that trolls.
Did she not advertise some kind of diet program? She was a spokesperson or something? If you make money talking about losing weight and “selling” the promise of a better life at a lower weight it’s fair game for people to comment on her higher weight.
SHE made it the conversation… it didn’t happen to her. It’s not right to be picked on for anything but she can’t take money by showing off her weight then expect people to ignore it. Diet culture is toxic and she took the money.