Busy Philipps: ‘Everything works out the way that it’s supposed to’

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Despite Busy Philipps uptick in projects, she’s still doing a lot of sponcon on social media. She’s currently partnering with Yoplait in their OuiFresh Self Care Pack giveaway in honor of Self Care Day, July 24th. The packs include Oui Yogurts, a nail file, a key charm, a tote and Essie nail polishes. They also include self-care tips from Busy. So Yahoo interviewed Busy as part of The Unwind series to get some of her “tips and tricks” for their readers.

On being vulnerable on social media: I think it’s great that more conversations are being had about mental health and well-being. I mean, Marlo Thomas told us in the ’70s that it’s OK to cry. It’s helpful to get out your emotions and it’s actually not helpful to hold things in. I think that the more people talk about and normalize mental health struggles or what they’re going through in a real way — and not like a performative, superficial “I’m doing this because I feel like I should be doing this” way — I think the better off we’re all going to be.

On social media replacing real life: But one thing I would say about social media and where I think people sometimes have trouble navigating that is that you have to be self-aware of who you’re speaking to in your social media. I think that sometimes people sort of use it in place of close friends or family or reaching out in those ways. I don’t want that to be a thing that takes precedent over actually connecting with people who are in your life.

Her self-care go-to: I love exercise as a form of self-care for myself. Sweating every day has really made a difference in my mental health and well-being. And I’ve noticed a difference: I’ve been having a little bit of a trickier time recently and I’m like, oh, it’s because I haven’t been working out every day. There’s something for me that happens — you know, I’m not a doctor or a scientist — whether it’s my endorphins or just getting going, it just makes me feel better, so that’s a huge part of my self-care. And sometimes it is the only thing I can do in a day. And sometimes it annoys my kids, I’m not going to lie. Are my children someday going to be like, “My mother was always working out”? [laughs] But I’m not always working out; it’s one workout and it’s 45 minutes, so they can calm down. I find that that’s a thing that I need to do basically daily or very regularly in order to feel sort of in myself.

Her mantra: I do try to live by and remind myself very consistently that everything works out the way that it’s supposed to. And it’s hard — that is so hard to remember sometimes. But if you really listen to yourself and your intuition, and you’re able to drop into that, you’re not going to make a bad decision.

[From Yahoo!]

It’s interesting to see crying framed as self-care but any release of emotion is, isn’t it? I always sleep better after I’ve spent a good amount of time laughing particularly hard. It’s cathartic and I think a good cry is the same release. I really like Busy’s advice about checking yourself on social media. I do know people who lean on social media as if it is their social network.

As for believing that everything works out the way it’s supposed to, I understand what Busy is trying to convey. But it is so incredibly hard to put faith in that while in the thick of life. And I can’t help but think that yes, the end result worked out, but the intended result would have also been good too. I am genuinely happy with where I am in life. But that’s not to say that there isn’t a bunch of stuff I wish I’d done differently. I’m not trying to be cynical, I do think things work out. I just question if they always work out exactly as they were supposed to. Like, maybe alternate plane Hecate is also genuinely happy with her outcome.

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Photo credit: Instagram

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31 Responses to “Busy Philipps: ‘Everything works out the way that it’s supposed to’”

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  1. Tanguerita says:

    This is such a meaningless “feel-good” phrase. Tell it to people who fight addiction, or a debilitating desease, or depression, or can’t come to terms with the loss of their loved ones. – Oh well, i guess it worked out the way it’s supposed to be. Thanks for nothing, Busy.

    • Aphra says:

      I work in genocide prevention, and whenever someone says “everythign happens for a reason” or “everything works out the way its supposed to” I feel outraged.

      • Sigmund says:

        It’s definitely a first-world outlook. However, this interview very much seems like it’s promoting her self-care deal with Yoplait. She does basically have to sell the idea that we should take care of ourselves and trust ourselves. If she isn’t doing that, she isn’t doing her job here.

      • Annabel says:

        Thank you. “Everything happens the way it’s supposed to” disgusts me for the same reason. (I don’t work in genocide prevention, but I’ve read way too much about way too many genocides.)

    • Susan says:

      Agreed. I also struggle with the phrase “it is what it is.” Yes, thank you asshat, I didn’t know that. I listened to a podcast the other day about toxic positivity. I can tell you that in corporate America, this kind of positivity is rampant. It’s okay to feel your feelings and do your best to make the best of a bad situation, but telling people it was supposed to happen that way is just wrong.

      • J says:

        I love that phrase, “toxic positivity”!

      • BothSidesNow says:

        It is wrong and it is deeply disturbing message. You are telling me that a five year old girl that died the other day from the coronavirus that is was supposed to happen, or the lack of high rise tower that collapsed, was supposed to happen and it all works out in the end? Or the civil unrest in Afghanistan or Yemen, was supposed to happen? Or my sister who is dying in hospice right now, was supposed to happen? I call BS on all of it! Instead of sending this message Busy, send a message of self care only, since that is what the yogurts quality represents. Otherwise, STFU!

    • megs283 says:

      Yup, it’s a breathtakingly ignorant phrase, often spoken by people who have never had a tragedy. Tell that to someone with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Or someone who is unemployed and searching desperately for a job and at risk of losing their home. Or someone who has buried a child.

      I think it works when maybe people are trying to buy a house, and they didn’t get the first one, but then they got the second one, are well moved in, and they love their new digs. Or with a job. Or, for example, someone doesn’t get a TV gig but then gets another one several months later.

    • Lucy2 says:

      I agree- maybe she can tell herself that right now, but sooner or later something comes along in life that blows that theory apart.

    • NTheMiddle says:

      This is an ignorant phrase and first world mantra… which I am guilty of using in the past. When you contemplate the abused, hungry, innocent children of this world it’s disturbing to say ‘it’s meant to be.’ ‘It is what it is ‘ is not the same though, as I take that statement as an acceptance of things you can’t change and an acknowledgement it’s best to move on.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Yes. It’s a dangerous platitude. At best, it helps people who have little to lose (stress, life changes, whatever)- at worst, it victimizes those who cannot change their circumstances easily. It’s very sad, actually- she’s not a bad person for it, but she does not realize how good/easy her life is now (yes, I know she was raped and has that trauma to deal with). It’s all very much needing a nuanced response.

  2. Jessica says:

    That’s similar to one of the mantras a department at my undergrad pushed- everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end. Granted we were using it to get through midterms and finals, not some major life issues, but it did help.

    My boyfriend does not understand crying. I cry very easily and it makes him so uncomfortable, no matter how many times I tell him it’s ok. I started telling him that crying is a valid emotional response just so he’d stop trying to keep me from crying! Like, let me cry and I’ll feel better!!!

  3. Eurydice says:

    Every time I see her I have to remind myself who she is.

  4. Jocelyn Cox says:

    I don’t know about Busy’s last line. I have made a TON of bad decisions that have clearly affected my life and the lives of those around me.

    I read once somehwere that “just because things could have been different, doesn’t mean they would have been better” Has anybody read Midnight Library by Matt Haig? Very good read that makes you think about heavier stuff like that while being “light” at the same time.

    The other expression I hate along the same line is “I am so blessed” Really? God blessed you but not others? More like you were born into a particular set of circumstances and made certain decisions , or had them made for you, that led you to the life you have now.

    • DeeSea says:

      I’m reading The Midnight Library right now. It’s so good and I don’t want it to end! It’s made me feel pretty much every emotion under the sun; I love it when a book does that.

      You nailed it with the “blessed” nonsense. It enrages me when people mistake good luck and privilege for being personally selected to receive extra “blessings.”

    • Susan says:

      OMG same. I get really mad when people tell me I am “blessed” to have my job. Nope, I worked my butt off (and still do!) to keep this job and there’s no secret sauce to getting hired and keeping it. I feel like “blessed” is like “lucky”—implies you didn’t work at it and it was handed to you. Nope nope nope. Sore spot for me.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Thank you for the topical read recommendation. i have recently revived my kindle after prolonged covid dysphoria, and I am enjoying reading again.❤️

  5. Jules says:

    this is typical New Age barf, completely ignorant and oblivious to how life actually works because she’s so special in her little bubble of light.

  6. Nicole says:

    Of course, in her world everything works out as its supposed to. In mine, I’m fighting off bills on a daily basis, I have yet to receive my tax return to help with those, I have no gas money, but at least I’ve made sure there is food in my house for my kids. If this is the way everything is supposed to work out, life sucks. Move along, Busy, I don’t want to hear it.

  7. Truthiness says:

    We are in a pandemic. Millions are either dead or dying globally plus all the long haulers suffering without a cure. Cancer continues to take another huge number of people of all ages. It’s a pretty cruel idea if that “is working out how it is supposed to be.”

  8. LillyfromLillooet says:

    Um, one thing that never worked out for me is how lopsided the fates of the Freaks and Geeks cast was, seemingly split by gender. All the guys ended up with movies, development deals, and the women of the cast never got any big work–Busy has by far been the most successful. This has always bothered me and seemed like a text book example how women just don’t get the same breaks and offers as guys do in hit series.

  9. Valerie says:

    Mmm, no, not everything. I get what she’s saying and realize that she’s probably not applying it to major life events, but pithy little statements like this aren’t useful to even the most optimistic of people. It’s dismissive and naïve.

  10. serena says:

    It’s incredibly naive / privileged to say “everything works out the way it’s supposed to”.

  11. Lunasf17 says:

    I find these cheesey spon con deals so cringey. How bad do these celebs need money to be hawking yogurt and nail polish?! You can save and invest your money and not have to do these dumb posts from huge corporations.

    • AnnaC says:

      No kidding! Busy Phillips sponcon doesn’t actually bother me that much because it seems part of her brand and while I think she’s wealthy she’s not same league as Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Aniston. She wrote in her book a few years ago, prior to her IG taking off she had let go of her agent and publicist because she wasn’t working and couldn’t afford their fees.

      Sponcon by RW, JA, and Kaley Cuoco (those are the only ones I periodically look at) just seems greedy and I don’t get why they need to shill, though I guess they do tv commercials so sponcon is sort of the same thing.

  12. ME says:

    She’s great on the show Girls 5eva. It’s a really funny show.

  13. Imara219 says:

    This phrase hits different people in different ways. It works for her personal mantra and it works for the company that sponsors her. If you are a person who believes in predetermination I would think this mantra fits your perspective.

  14. The Recluse says:

    There is this quote from a book (Erotic Faith by R.M. Polhemus) that applies:
    …Some lucky people do not know the deadly unfairness and sorrow of life, and…telling them would do no good.
    And on a scientific note, years ago I read that crying does relieve stress. When they studied human tears they found stress chemicals in them. So if you need to, cry…or laugh.

  15. MangoAngelesque says:

    I *hate* when people trot out that line. It’s just as bad as the “it’s all part of god’s/the universe’s plan.”

    It’s so dismissive, and sometimes flat-out cruel, of a person’s emotions, situations, and struggles. Not to mention the fact that for some people in very vulnerable states, they might believe that a dark time is “the way it was supposed to turn out,” and just give up.

    Sorry. It’s just so wrong. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way they ought to, and that really, really sucks. And people have to be able to work through that, and what won’t help is telling them they deserved it because it’s how it’s supposed to be.