Katy Perry: I didn’t experience unconditional love personally until I had my child

Katy Perry covering Variety in a white dress looking up and to the side
Katy Perry is one of Variety’s Power of Women covers, also featuring Lorde, Amanda Gorman, Channing Dungey (CEO of Warner Bros) and Rita Moreno. The Power of Women event was held last night in LA and there are some photos of Katy there at the bottom of this post. She wore a giant lilac Schiaparelli gown and looked loved up with Orlando Bloom. They’re so cute together! Katie was honored at the event for her Firework Foundation, which brings the arts to children in underserved communities. You can see Katie’s speech here, she was introduced by Gayle King and she gushed about Orlando a little. She said “behind every great woman, there is a great man” which I do not agree with and think she should have phrased that better, but I’ll give her a pass! I like Katy because she’s a good Democrat despite her conservative upbringing. I wanted to discuss her Variety interview, where she talked about her charity, her thoughts on social media, and how deep her love is for her baby, Daisy, 14 months. She was careful to say her mom had unconditional love for her, but she hadn’t experienced it for someone until she had her baby.

On unconditional love
I never really truly knew about unconditional love. Obviously my mother has that for me, but I didn’t really experience it in the first-person until I had my child. And that was just a whole ‘nother level. I think I see through the eyes of a child — like my life and my art always feels playful — so it’s amazing to be able to relate to kids even in your deep 30s. And they still want to hang and find you the most fun adult in the room. That is just the biggest gift in the world. So I think, yes, some of my previous work with kids and being an entertainer to kids as well has prepared me for motherhood, but nothing can prepare you for that wave of unconditional love.

On being bold
Being bold is vital because there is a lot of noise out there, and you have to stick out in order to be heard. As my fiancé says, I am the squeaky wheel and therefore I get the grease.

On if the image of moms on social media is accurate
I think all of social media is skewed. It’s a big, ole, fat echo chamber and the real determinator is the algorithm. I really enjoyed my experience. I’m still 10 pounds bigger than when I started, but I’m not in a rush. It’s been a year. I’m more interested in her happiness and my happiness and mental health. Hormones are … pretty interesting.

As a new mom, those first six weeks are like, “What?” It’s just the biggest life change ever. You’re responsible for someone’s well-being that can’t even hold their head up. It’s a real shift, and you become not No. 1 on the call sheet. And it’s the best. Everything that’s supposed to fade away, fades away, and a balance comes in. I like to live more in the real world for now.

[From Variety]

I never really thought about it that way, but I also didn’t feel unconditional love until I had a child. I like how Katy made this personal to her situation and didn’t generalize it to everyone. Motherhood is not the be-all end-all. Also she really nailed it with her comments on social media. I’ve been trying to use TikTok more and I ended up deleting it because it’s so addictive. I’ll probably add it back in a couple of days. It seems like it predicts my thoughts and that was creeping me out. Social media also makes us feel less than and like we need to lose weight or change somehow, like Katy is saying. She’s a big goof and I give her a lot of credit for putting herself and her life out there. I hope she and Orlando are together for a long time.

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21 Responses to “Katy Perry: I didn’t experience unconditional love personally until I had my child”

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  1. Annaloo. says:

    I like her. I feel joy when she’s happy. I need to get a life…:-) but I still really like her

  2. MsIam says:

    Her foundation sounds amazing but whoa that “dress”! Maybe a full length photo would give a better idea of what it looks like but in these it looks like she’s wearing a bedspread.

  3. Jules says:

    Sounds like Katy is gonna be in for a surprise when the terrible two’s hit.

    • SK2 says:

      Why? Unconditional love for ones children doesn’t go away even during challenging phases. Personally I find so much joy in my children aged 2 as well as the challenges to navigate

      • mel says:

        A child’s love is absolutely conditional, especially as they get older. I don’t know why we focus on “unconditional”. There is nothing wrong with having “conditions” for your love.

        The only unconditional love there should be is with your self.

  4. Kkat says:

    I’m someone who is not a huge fan of other peoples kids
    But my own kids? Whew I would literally die for them.

    That type of love is truly on another level.

    And its a good thing too since my kids aren’t easy, both are bipolar and high functioning autistic(I am too). (16 and 25)
    But both are super high IQ, funny, sweet.
    Aside from worry, I really enjoyed the extended lockdown (California) we’re super close as a family.

  5. CE says:

    I think it is just so STRANGE when human beings suddenly experience compassion when they become parents. That’s the whole vibe I’ve gotten from Katy’s discoveries becoming a mom, but she’s not the first and won’t be the last. Like when men suddenly aren’t sexist “because [I] have a daughter”. What???

    • Merricat says:

      The emotion is not compassion. It’s an overwhelming rock solid conviction that you would die to keep this baby alive, and it’s biologically based. I had the same experience.

      • Twin falls says:

        @merricat +1

      • psl says:

        “Biologically based”? So women who adopt cannot feel that way about their kid? I have been a Nanny for over 25 years, and although I did not give birth to any of my charges, I loved them with everything I have. I am caring for a 4 month old now, and I would throw myself in traffic to protect him.

        I just don’t think that is the “right” term to use.

      • Merricat says:

        We are talking about different things. The biological impulse to protect the offspring is inherent in every living being, from bears to humans. It’s primal, and I wouldn’t exactly describe it as “love.”

    • bella says:

      I kinda get it. Of course it all depends on the person, the environment they grew up in, and the age they first become a parent, but I think that many people are “self-centered” – not to a pathological degree – but tend to live their lives putting their own needs first. I found this especially true of myself in my 20s when building my career.

      Once I was more established, I had more time to think of others more than I had in the past. That’s not to say I didn’t do volunteer work, do kind things for others, or care about other people because I did, but true empathy? I could be sympathetic to people’s troubles, but how can you be empathetic when you have little life experience?

      Falling in love with my husband really opened me up, but having children was an immediate different level of love, empathy, fierceness that never existed before.

  6. Southern Fried says:

    Surprised me how much I love her dress. I think it’s just right for her. Maybe I’ve mentioned it before but her song Firework we used to introduce the 6th grade Poetry section and it was wildly successful. All the kids had lyrics they loved to share.

  7. canichangemyname? says:

    Wow, it is true. Motherhood is *not* the be-all and end-all – several of my good friends and relatives do not have children and live fulfilled and amazing lives. But it is true of that next level of love. I had my first child young, at 19, so I’d just been living life as a pretty selfish teenager and suddenly there’s this little being that I would literally die for without question. It changed my life perspective in that I started remembering that everyone is someone else’s child. It makes me nicer as a person, but also more vulnerable. There’s a quote, I believe from Elizabeth Stone (??) that having a child is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. Lovely, but not always fun. I’m sure it’s not only children that lead to that next-love level, but it was what tipped the scales for me personally.

  8. Really? says:

    I’m sick to death of hearing this about motherhood. Most people in this world have children. It would look a whole lot different if doing so have you more empathy or made you a more loving person. Not to mention how many parents are neglectful and abusive. If anything, it makes people more narrow-minded and selfish You’re not special because you made this egotistical lifestyle choice – which is all it is.

  9. Winnie Cooper’s Mom says:

    I wonder if this is publicist-driven bc it seems like every single female celebrity says this exact same thing as a first-time mom.. “oh I didn’t know what love really was until I held my child in my arms..” or some variation of that. Maybe this truly is her sentiment, but it’s way overdone and sounds disingenuous at this point IMO. It would be more refreshing if they were like, “It’s hard. I cry a lot and struggle to lose weight and feel like myself.” I guess they would receive backlash for that as well, but atleast it would be real and relatable.

  10. Rose says:

    Well, I was abused by my mother and I don’t have kids, so I guess I’ll never know what unconditional love really means🤷‍♀️Let me know what it’s like, okay?

    • Ashley says:

      Yeah, I was going to say, if this is the first time you’ve experienced unconditional love, Katy, that’s not love. That’s narcissism. You’re looking your own genes in the face.

  11. Layla says:

    Ok, so having a child makes you more empathetic towards that child. Why would anyone else care?

  12. BrickyardUte says:

    I want to put out the gentle reminder that just because something was not your experience does not take away from others experiences. It’s nice to share positive moments in our lives and sometimes we can connect on those moments. Sometimes not. Also, being a mom and having a biological child is not the only way to feel that connection. I read the comments twice and I don’t have think that was the intention and being lucky enough to know a few families that have gone through adoption and surrogacy, the amount of dedication, heartbreak, financial investment and time they put into that process shows the unconditional love they have for the child they haven’t met yet.
    And you can feel that for a person, spouse, sibling, friend, a niece, nephew a godchild, etc. a dog/cat! All valid! I look forward to reading about all of your experiences.

  13. BrickyardUte says:

    Also wanted to add it’s okay to share not great experiences too. Love and healing to all my celebitches. ❤️