Prince William ‘grew from a towheaded schoolboy… to a balding father of three’

The Duchess of Cambridge’s 40th birthday extravaganza went on for weeks. Middleton HQ in Bucklebury went into overdrive to describe Kate as the keen linchpin, the only one who could soothe angry, intemperate William. Kate was described as the most glamorous woman ever AND just a simple countrywoman, beloved by all. Now we’re getting a chance to see how Prince William’s 40th birthday keenery compares. William’s PR comes from Kensington Palace, and KP clearly commissioned several major pieces about how William is finally “coming into his own” and even though he has nothing to show for his 40 years, work-wise, that’s all Harry’s fault. Anyway, I’m including Clarence House and Buckingham Palace’s Instagram carousels for William’s birthday. Here’s part of ABC News’ birthday story:

The world watched as Prince William grew from a towheaded schoolboy to a dashing air-sea rescue pilot to a balding father of three.

But as he turns 40 on Tuesday, William is making the biggest change yet: assuming an increasingly central role in the royal family as he prepares for his eventual accession to the throne.

Royal expert Pauline Maclaran, author of “Royal Fever: The British Monarchy in Consumer Culture.” said William was keen to show “how he will treat things differently. And so we see that more and more, where the future of the line is being emphasized, with Charles being put more in a kind of holding position for William. We’re always reminded that William is after Charles,” she added.

“It’s important that William shows there are going to be changes to the monarchy,” she said. “Otherwise, you know, I suspect it really can’t survive.”

[From ABC News]

Personally, I’m starting to believe that in my lifetime, there won’t be some earth-shattering moment for the British monarchy where they’re dethroned and tossed into obscurity. I think it will be a decline in power and importance, starting with the Queen’s passing. King Charles will lose much of the “British Empire” as former colonies drop the British monarch as their head of state. The Caribbean nations will all likely become republics, and Australia is headed that way in my lifetime. By the time “King William” comes to the throne, the monarchy will be seen as increasingly irrelevant and only kept around for the sake of history. My point is that William doesn’t actually need to pretend to be Normal Bill, Man of the People. Everyone knows how anachronistic this whole endeavor is and how incapable the royals are of changing and becoming more representative, more tolerant, more inclusive. It would be interesting to think that the biggest turning point for Charles and William’s reigns was actually the 2018-2020 period where they fought tooth-and-nail to exile the most popular royal prince and his wife.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instagram, Instar.

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94 Responses to “Prince William ‘grew from a towheaded schoolboy… to a balding father of three’”

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  1. Dss says:

    Penis with teeth

  2. ThatsNotOkay says:

    “The world watched as Prince William grew from a towheaded schoolboy to a dashing air-sea rescue pilot to a balding father of three.”

    That opening line? Phew! Lolololol!!

  3. Moira's Rose's Garden says:

    To quote my favorite internet dog, Bunny, “Ugh.”

    • C says:

      Yay! Another Bunny follower!

      I love Bunny too, especially the “ugh”

      • Moira's Rose's Garden says:

        She’s the best. Too bad she can’t replace PWT–she’s certainly smart enough.

    • Canadi-Anne says:

      If only William had half as much charisma as Bunny!

    • Christine says:

      I laughed so hard I peed, at this entire….glorification of Wills.

      When everyone is wondering if you look like a penis, you have lost the battle before you got to the war.

  4. Jan90067 says:

    “The world watched as Prince William grew from a towheaded schoolboy to a dashing air-sea rescue pilot to a *balding father* of three.”

    Oh, man, that’s gotta sting for someone as egotistical as The Egg 😄 😂. Love it! lol

    I agree with you, Kaiser. I don’t think the monarchy will be abolished in our lifetimes. I do think by the time George is up there, it will be a worthless “job”, only trotted out for tourists and maybe the ceremonial opening of parliament. I hope the SG is scaled down accordingly, and that most of the “Crown Properties” opened up for the public, with the “Royal Family” only having ONE home to call “home”, and perhaps BP as the only palace they have any official meet n’ greets at.

  5. Lady Digby says:

    Richard Fitzwilliams is quoted in today’s I newspaper “informal Prince an asset against republicanism”. He claims that both he and wife have allure and diplomatic clout to ensure that some Common wealth nations stick with the monarchy in anticipation of the eldest son of Diana becoming King!!
    Are these his own conclusions after the Floppy McFlop tour of tours or is he reading off KP hymn sheet?

    • Lorelei says:

      @Lady Digby, I’m LMFAO at “allure” and “diplomatic clout” – neither of them have any. And isn’t this Fitzwilliams guy one of the “experts” who got caught reviewing the Oprah interview before it even aired? Incredible that anyone is still asking his lying ass for quotes to publish about anything.

      • windyriver says:

        Yup, that’s him. Fitzwilliams, Seward, and the two Arbiters, in case anyone’s forgotten how blatantly these folks can lie with a straight face.

  6. Mslove says:

    Just my opinion, but the earth-shattering moment was when they drove Meghan out in such a cruel & public way.

  7. equality says:

    I bet PC loves this line: “Charles being put more in a kind of holding position for William”. So he’s just keeping the throne warm until PW is ready for it? I hope PC makes big changes to the monarchy to limit PW’s power and access to money. Not holding my breath though. Funny how there is a recent balcony picture but PC only used the one with PG and not Charlotte or Louis.

    • Zapp Brannigan says:

      Prince Charles is also centered in every one of those Clarence house birthday photos, subtly letting the birthday boy know who is in charge next. PWT is nearly cropped out of the balcony photo. Hilarious.

      • VIV says:

        Almost cropped out and looking like an idiot. Would fit quite well in Kaisers lineup.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Equality, Right? I totally imagined Charles reading that over breakfast and proceeding to throw a tantrum. Things like that would burn no matter what, but considering that Charles has been waiting for OVER SEVENTY YEARS for this position…imo it is quite unwise of William to sanction any comments like that because all it will do is earn Charles’ ire. I think William is already on very thin ice with Charles; he needs to watch it.

  8. Dorcas says:

    Happy birthday to the aristos hottest baldy

    • goofpuff says:

      He’s not even hot anymore. All that nastiness inside showing up in his looks and demeanor.

    • Maxine Branch says:

      My goodness, the only thing that seems hot about this man is his temper and probably his breath. He is a man who looks 50 more than 40 and behaves like a little child. A pathetic human with zero redeeming qualities. I pity him.

    • notasugarhere says:

      LOL. Even Albert Thurn und Taxis is more attractive than William, and that’s not saying much.

    • Beverley says:

      Bwahaha! 😆😆😆I remember the ridiculous “poll”sometime ago describing PW as the hottest bald man.
      Hilarious! 🤣😂

  9. Fuzzy Crocodile says:

    Congrats? I know of plenty of men that have grown up and become fathers and lost their hair.

    And despite being born into this position of great privilege, his contributions to the world feel lacking. I know men that I feel have contributed more to the world in their way than he has.

    There are definite challenges to growing up in a very visible family. But what a way to do nothing with all the advantages given to you.

    But I’m the heathen America who doesn’t believe god appointed people to anything.

    • Saucy&Sassy says:

      Fuzzy Crocodile, I believe they call us “colonials”. Which is hilarious. The Brits don’t like to lose!

  10. Woke says:

    I agree with you too that they’ll increasingly loose relevance. In hindsight I think it would have been the same no matter how they treated Harry and Meghan. The difference would have been how solidified they would have been in the irrelevance. They could have gone like Denmark loved despite not being that influential with Harry and Meghan in but they’re heading towards Spain always on shaky ground

  11. Izzy says:


    Oh honey, his hair gave up that fight long ago.

    • Jan90067 says:

      😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

    • Lorelei says:

      THE SHADE in that first sentence!! I love it. Unsurprised to see that it was an American publication calling it out so blatantly.
      The RRs are probably getting *beyond* antsy and angry at all of the dirt about William that they have to keep sitting on/keep out of the press while simultaneously pretending they believe he’s god’s gift in order to keep their sad little jobs, when Americans can simply call it as they see it! Lmao

  12. Eurydice says:

    We don’t have to wait for William – the monarchy is already irrelevant and exists only for the perpetuation of itself. William could be the reincarnation of Mother Teresa herself, but any charitable passions he might have would still come second to what’s essentially the caretaking of a museum.

  13. girl_ninja says:

    Happy Birthday Willy! If I met ole yellow teeth it would go something like this…boooooooooo, booooooo, boooooo, throw tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes…boooooooooooooooo

  14. Lady Digby says:

    Just a thought but does William have a mentor to talk things through with if he is not that close to his dad? PW was born on my 18th birthday and even then as a teenager I knew how volatile and mood swingy and insecure I was (worst aspects of being Cancerian.) Yes I mellowed as I matured but I had a wonderful father and sought out mentors, worked on myself and had counseling when I faced certain painful life changes. PW looks unhappy, angry and sulky with his wife and ridiculously spiteful in his continued briefing against his own brother and SIL. Like Wellwisher on another thread my birthday wish for William is to seek help from a therapist and do some work on himself because weighing himself down with bitterness and envy and lashing out at others is just negative and destructive.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Lady Digby, I’m not sure how true this still is or if things have changed with time, but I *think* that Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton was the closest person to what you’re describing. IIRC he was like that with both William and Harry, but I’m not sure if William (or Harry, for that matter) still keeps in touch with him on a regular basis. God knows William could benefit from guidance from a wise adult who knows him well.

    • booboocita says:

      Even if PW had a mentor or therapist or counselor, he’d still have to be willing to listen to and consider that person’s advice. And I think it’s painfully obvious that the raging narcissist doesn’t listen to anyone who’s not willing to be a yes man/doormat.

    • Chrissy says:

      Happy Birthday. Lady Digby.

  15. All that hair gone. When I was in my teens (37 years now) I only noticed William. He was a looker. But look at him now. He is just a shell of his former self.

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      His whole face changed. Those Windsor genes will get you. Thankfully for Harry and his children he leans Spencer.

      • Imara219 says:

        @wigletwatcher Harry is a redheaded version of Prince Philip, his grandfather. Seeing how that man looked like a gremlin the past 25 years before his passing I don’t have high hopes for Harry 😬

      • CourtneyB says:

        Harry also has a great deal of the Danish and Battenberg/Mountbatten. He looks a lot like Philip especially in the eyes and nose. I think philip remained a good looking man way into old age. He knew how to carry off losing your hair.

      • Lady D says:

        LOL Your last sentence shouldn’t be as funny as it is, Imara.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        The Windsor genes are the ones that ruin good looks in the 20s. Everything else isn’t as strong if you survive your 20s without those genes taking over.

        PP was handsome for quite some time. We all tend to look like gremlins in our 90s.

      • Tessa says:

        Imo Will has the hanoverian features

      • Imara219 says:

        @Wiglet Watcher

        I mean y’all know good and well I was being kind by using the term gremlin. 😆 That man hadn’t looked well since the late 70s. The 80s came and his looks took a sharp drop. And there are several celebrities and non-celebrities to prove that you don’t have to look like a shriveled-up raisin after your 50s. Some that come to mind: Danny Glover, Ruby Dee, Billy Dee Williams, Henry Louis Gates, Lena Horne, Pam Greer, Rita Morena, etc. ☺ Royal family looks terrible

      • C says:

        Philip was just one of the few actually handsome royals. But given his ancestry it’s not saying much and there’s no way it would last, lol.

        And Imara LOL I don’t disagree but those celebrities all have significantly more melanin than Philip ever had so yeah. Or maybe that was the point, haha.

  16. Emme says:

    @TLusaka mummy….had the looks but no personality. Now has no looks as well as no personality.

  17. Plums says:

    The British royal family should have transitioned to the style of the more chill constitutional monarchs of Europe years ago.

    • JaneBee says:

      @Plums Could not agree with you more. This would have been the sensible approach for them. X

  18. sam says:

    I wish people would stop using balding as an insult or derogatory term . Plenty of men and women lose their hair and I’m fighting that battle myself. Plenty of other things to criticise without body shaming peoples features.

    • booboocita says:

      It’s entirely possible to be bald and sexy AF. Witness Shemar Moore and Patrick Stewart, to name only two of many gorgeous, hot bald men. Prince Philip was balding and was still a handsome man. PW needs all the help he can get, though, and the loss of his lovely locks hit his looks hard.

  19. notasugarhere says:

    William grew from a rotten little kid to a rotten, lazy, abusive, racist 40 year old manchild.

  20. NeedCoffee says:

    Calling Pauline Maclaren a royal expert is underselling her by a mile. She’s a marketing professor and a renowned scholar of branding and consumers.

    She taught a bit of my Masters course, and she’s brilliant.

    • Amy Bee says:

      She’s probably also an Anglophile and royalist.

    • Alexandria says:

      Brilliant? Can she name just one thing Harry and Meghan did so wrong and illegal to deserve the kind of racist vitriol they had? Something that is worse than Andrew since he seems acceptable? I’ll wait. If she’s going to say that one Oprah interview then what the f were Chuck’s and Andrew’s interviews about?

  21. jferber says:

    Name ONE person William rescued as a “dashing air-sea rescue pilot.” Just one. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Good that he’s “assuming an increasingly central role.” Same wishful thinking as with Kate, that he’s starting to, beginning to, keenly waiting to _______. They are cut from the same cloth. As the British say, he will do f–k-all. He’ll deplete the resources, make many unforced errors, send out communiques that ____________ wasn’t his fault because Harry/Meghan/the Queen/Charles/Andrew,etc. So much to look forward to with this one!

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      As mjane linked William was part of a group that rescued people. He also had to be called back to the base while he left when on duty. Many times he nearly lost his pilot license as well for lack of flying hours, but strings were pulled. He was never the pilot because he could never be trusted. This all gets glossed over in articles.
      William was there. That’s about it.

      • C says:

        Also he couldn’t pass the vision test requirements but those were put aside for him.
        And that rescuing people was always a bit uncertain because he had to have an RPO with him and safety protocols would require him being put first in case of an emergency.

  22. Imara219 says:

    39 here👋🏾. I “grew up” with the Princes, William in particular and it’s wild seeing the changes. I know the past 18 months took me from curvy to plus size fluffy but man seeing William is really bad. I just don’t get it. He’s wealthy. Being bald or balding isn’t the problem (see: Jason Stratham). Nah, its like his whole head morphed into a bloated version of his uncle Edward. So bizarre. When I was a teen he was the “It” hot prince. Harry was that funny looking ginger kid. By college William was handsome and even by his wedding he still looked aight. Now….good lord!

    Unpopular opinion: looking back at old pictures I now believe that Charles was dashing. Not typical attractive but elegant statesman energy attractive.

    • Tessa says:

      I think harry was cuter than will from the get go

      • Imara219 says:

        From recollection, no one was checking for Harry like that. I remember William on the cover of teen idol magazines and talked about on the entertainment news shows as cute and handsome. I just dont recall Harry getting the same type of press. Of course maybe that just was my corner of the world. Harry came into his looks when William started to lose his. I believe Harry started getting the handsome tag around his late college years. A definite shift from the 90s and early 00s.

      • Tessa says:

        Harry got the “spare treatment.” william was protected and touted as the “golden prince” and Harry was slammed as the “bad prince”. People Magazine even had a cover with that spin.

    • Nyro says:

      Imara, I agree about Charles. While he was a frightful looking thing in his teens and 20s, I think he was nice looking, in an unconventional way, in his 30s, 40s, and early 50s. He was better looking at 40 then William is now, absolutely.

      And Harry has very little Windsor traits, imo. He’s all Philip and Diana in looks. William was all Diana as a child and gets more and more Windsor with age. He looks more and more like a combination of
      the Edwards to me, both his uncle and the Duke of Kent.

      • Imara219 says:

        Nyro, exactly. Harry benefits from having little Windsor traits and being a riff on Philip and Diana. Whereas William had Diana’s looks younger but grew into Windsor’s looks now he is older. Charles had to grow into his look as well. He hit his stride in his 30s and 40s and he isn’t bad looking now. “Poor William” looks older than 40.

    • windyriver says:

      Charles was also extremely stylish as a younger man, which helped add a little extra to whatever he did have in the looks department. He’s still somewhat of a clothes horse, though as it’s been pretty consistently suits for quite a while now, it’s stuffy and not that interesting at this point.

      Curious that neither Will nor Harry picked up any of Charles’ interest in clothes.

      • gabs319 says:

        Diana may have influenced Charles to get rid of his older generation suits and look. He was dressing too much like his father’s generation, even during the Sixties. I really think Diana spurred his interest in all things sartorial, and helped to get him a stylist. Now he looks like a dandy in some photos, but his face is so flushed that I think that Charles is a closet alcoholic. That pink is not from vacationing in the Caribbean or Spain.

  23. Blithe says:

    Shift: I actually looked at the accompanying video for one of the ads. Am I the only one captivated by the idea of finger sporks?

    • Lady D says:

      Forever and always, yes:) Just kidding Blithe, but your sentence had me picturing a wedding dinner with everyone at the table sticking their fingers in their mouths. I probably wouldn’t eat much.

      • Blithe says:

        Lol: I was picturing a cafeteria full of third graders having fun with their cups of jello!

  24. Amy Bee says:

    Let’s hope he gets to be “Normal Bill” in our lifetime.

    • Surly Gale says:

      I got a chill reading your comment, Amy Bee because on the Closer (Kyra Sedgewick) there’s a normal Bill/just plain Brenda interaction. Normal Bill is a guy who likes to burn women from the inside out, and just plain Brenda is….well, you know.
      So thinking Willy as ‘Normal Bill’ was a brain fart for me!!

  25. shockedandappalled says:

    Why are we even talking about the monarchy becoming more inclusive? The entire point of the monarchy is exclusion. It’s the class system – privileges based on birth dressed up as duty. Totally absurd waste of space. I’m glad they didn’t accept Meghan Markle and prolong this charade. Anything that speeds up its demise is a blessing.

  26. Tessa says:

    Charles did not include diana in photos he released of will just Camilla par for the course

    • Nyro says:

      Isn’t that effed up? I mean, I knew they’d totally exclude Harry, of course. But excluding this own mother on a big birthday like this one?! There’s no reason for them not to have released a photo of her with Charles holding baby William. Like, are they serious? So hateful and nasty.

      • Duch says:

        Yeah also kind of weird they’d include Camilla and not Kate. Found her absence interesting. There’s no pic of C&C and Cambridge fam of 5?

  27. NessaB says:

    Damn. Other monarchies fell because people didn’t want to be subjects to a monarch and fought for freedom, but the BRF is going to fall because Charles and William are charisma vacuums that would put a galactic black hole to shame. What a mess. HA!

  28. Anna says:

    The gloves are coming off. I am guilty of looking at DM online and saw another excerpt of this beauty how Will “struggled to commit to Kate”. It’s very Tell me he’s horrible without telling he’s horrible.

  29. Sue E Generis says:

    What really irks me, is that this is a multibillionaire family that is taken care of by the state with handouts.

  30. candy says:

    Toehead? I guess they just threw in an aryan reference for good measure? There is so much shade in this, in a way only the British can achieve. Also, no photos of Kate in the carousels?

  31. tamsin says:

    I have never thought the British would ever rise up and get rid of their king. i don’t see the British ever getting rid of the monarchy. It is so tied to their history and past importance in the world. It will gradually decline in importance, influence, and grandeur which has already begun. George will probably be king of England and Wales. No more “imperial family” cited by his great granny. There should be a job for the sovereign and everyone else should get a job doing something useful for society as expected of all its citizens. The elevation of cutting ribbons and planting trees to “work” will have run its course.

  32. Janice Hill says:

    Don’t forget Scotland’s break-up with the UK. It gonna happen.

  33. Isabella says:

    Wasn’t the pilot thing just a little part-time gig? I don’t remember his ever being considered dashing. The press was already calling him lazy along with his wife.

    • Tessa says:

      He skipped shifts, and I read that he could only be co-pilot because of vision issues. Plus his security person had to fly with him. He did not do the actual rescues from what I read. The Queen was expecting that he would move to full time duties after she had KP refurbished but he up and said he wanted to do the air ambulance. I’m not impressed.

  34. Lusaka mummy says:


    You are right. On the other hand, if he had a great personality, we could have overlooked his poor looks.

  35. jferber says:

    So William never had a real job and screwed up the one he did have. “He was there,” but a lot of times he wasn’t there for playing hooky. Not impressed in the least. But then, I didn’t expect to be.

  36. Christine says:

    “It’s important that William shows there are going to be changes to the monarchy,” she said. “Otherwise, you know, I suspect it really can’t survive.”


    Please wake me when Willnot does something. Anything. The monarchy is already a footnote.