Nicole Byer: ‘A lot of life isn’t personal, it has nothing to do with you’

Nicole Byer seems like she’s in so many things lately. I know her from her comedy on Netflix, from Nailed It the bingeable baking fail show and from the sitcom Grand Crew. She also has four different podcasts, and they’re all current! She has new episodes out now in every one of them, which makes me wonder how she does it all.

Nicole is covering Variety’s Reality edition, and they mention that in 2020 she became the first Black woman to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy for outstanding host for a reality or competition program. She was nominated again in 2021, and it’s just a matter of time before she gets an Emmy for that show or for another role. Plus she wants to move to movies, and I have no doubt that will happen for her. I came away from this interview with a lot of respect for her and for her approach to her career. She has a great attitude and understands that, as a comedian, bombing in front of an audience is part of that. She also gets that it’s not personal – not just an audience’s reception but a lot of the things that happen in life.

Sometimes she bombs and she’s OK with that
“Standup is my vision, my voice, my ideas. And I go, ‘Hi, I hope you like this. I truly hope this is an enjoyable hour for all of us.’ But I bomb. I’ve bombed so many times and you kind of have to learn how to enjoy the bombs and the bombs teach you and influence your later work,” she says. “It teaches you to be humble and that everything you have to say isn’t f-king important and you do have to listen to the audience sometimes. Maybe you took something a little too far. There’s no shame in adjusting a joke because it was offensive and not as edgy as you thought it was.”

On working with her friend Phil Jackson, the creator of Grand Crew
“I don’t think if you told us 10 years ago this is what we would be doing that we would be like, ‘Oh yeah of course!’ We were like in a basement with water from Gristedes dripping on us as we’re like, ‘Can we get a suggestion?’…

“I’m so excited about that and to be able to work with friends is just a dream.”

Her life advice
Byer lives by something her mom used to tell her: “It takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.”

“If you just smile, have a nice time and let things roll off your back and realize that a lot of life isn’t personal, it has nothing to do with you, you just feel a little lighter and happier,” she says. “Carving time for yourself is important. Self care is important. If you sigh before doing something, maybe rethink about the thing you’re doing. Maybe you’re not meant to do that. Also therapy! She’s been in so much therapy!”

[From Variety]

I like what she said about having fun and that you may as well smile. It’s also great advice that you should try to enjoy the fails because the “bombs teach you and influence your later work.” I heard something on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast that I try to tell myself when things go wrong – “this could be a good thing for us.” Something that seems like a massive disappointment could be the universe’s way of leading you to something better. I don’t know if everything happens for a reason but I know that I’ve survived and moved on with every setback so far. Plus Nicole sees her career as getting to work with her friends. She seems realistic but positive about things and she’s kicking butt in her career. I’m going to try to take her advice and perspective as it sounds really healthy.

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15 Responses to “Nicole Byer: ‘A lot of life isn’t personal, it has nothing to do with you’”

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  1. Steph says:

    I do agree with her about that- not everything is about you. Sometimes people are in bad moods and they take it out on other people. I try to let it roll off my back-like she says- but easier said than done at times. Sometimes rude people get to you. She has a good outlook to emulate.

  2. Jenny says:

    Her podcast “Newcomers” is hilarious. She and a co-host watch movies that are big in pop culture, but they have never seen before (and did not really want to watch) and talk about them. They are doing the Marvel movies now, and they did Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, but I have never laughed harder than hearing her talk about the Fast and the Furious movies (and doing her Vin Diesel impression). So happy to see her success. She really seems to be about bringing joy to the world.

  3. RL McGruder says:

    She’s so incredibly charming! I just finished listening to one of her podcasts on my morning walk, and it was such a treat!

  4. Case says:

    I think it’s so true that so much of life isn’t personal. It’s so easy to read into people’s emails and texts when there’s actually nothing there, or to believe someone is being deliberately rude when they’re not. It’s so easy to feel like people are judging you, etc. And really, I don’t think most people think much about other people, lol. We’re all wrapped up in our own issues and no one cares about our insecurities and problems as much as we do.

  5. SarSt.E says:

    Nicole is a star and one of my favourite people in Hollywood. She’s hilarious, genuine, so beautiful and I love her perspective. I listen to all of her podcasts and will watch everything she’s in. I genuinely want the best for her. I don’t believe in stanning anyone but…maybe I stan Nicole?

  6. Dillesca says:

    Nicole Byer is such a DELIGHT.

  7. shoochai says:

    Love her and love that green dress she is wearing in the last pic, if anyone can ID it 😀

  8. blairski says:

    Her Why Won’t You Date Me podcast is one of my favorites! She’s terrific and deserves all the success.

  9. Milkweed says:

    I love Nicole too! She is so funny.

  10. Chloeee says:

    She was a standout to me on Girl Code back in the day, glad to see her flourish

  11. Rebecca says:

    I absolutely love her. She does so many things and is such a joy to hear on her podcasts and watch on TV! I listen to 2 of her podcasts, and Newcomers has been my favorite. Her stand up special is also great.

  12. Fig says:

    Everyone needs to watch Grand Crew. It’s the perfect chill hangout show, so glad it’s getting a second season

  13. Trillion says:

    I first learned who she was on RuPaul’s Drag Race and then loved her guest turns on Drag Her (podcast). Nailed It got me through the depths of the pandemic when I couldn’t handle anything serious after work (COVID nurse here). She’s so smart and funny and knows how to balance seriousness and silliness. And I love her style. She’s a breath of fresh air in this ugly mean world.

  14. Celina says:

    She’s an absolute delight. A treasure. I love her.