Eva Longoria on jealousy in her past marriages: ‘It’s the worst feeling’

Eva Longoria has a podcast called Connections with Eva Longoria, which I’m just hearing about now. She talks to experts on different topics, like Money with Janet Alvarez and Spirituality with Jay Shetty. It’s been out since March and there are 18 episodes of around 30 minutes. (I think this is the best length for chatty podcasts like ours! So many podcasts are over an hour, but unless they’re highly produced I find those too long.)

Getting back to Eva, I listened to her last podcast, on Aging with author Isabel Allende. It was excellent. Isabel, 80, wrote her first book at 40 and said she felt like her life at that time was mediocre and a failure. They quickly got into deep topics and I got so much out of it. It also made me want to read Isabel’s books. Around minute nine they talk about romance at an older age, in the context of Isabel’s latest book, Violeta. Isabel says she got married at 77 and “if I live long enough I will probably marry a fourth time.” Plus she joked that Eva will have a couple more marriages in her lifetime too. It was so cool! Here’s the part of the conversation where Eva and Isabel talked about their relationships.

Isabel Allende: In our culture the idea that old people fall in love, let alone have sex, is just appalling. But that happens at any age. The only difference between falling in love when I was 50 or 20 and now is that now I’m very aware of the passage of time so there is a sense of urgency. I don’t have any time to waste and Roger feels the same way so we are careful not to waste the day in little petty things… no jealousy, no little petty fights. None of that stuff that soils everything in a relationship. If I had known that when I was younger maybe I wouldn’t have two divorces.

Eva Longoria: I also think jealousy takes up such an amount of energy. I remember being so jealous, like your stomach is inside out. It’s the worst feeling. Why would anybody want that feeling? I agree with you. With my second marriage – no wait my third [laughs]

Isabel: And you are way younger than me. Eva you still will have a couple more.

Eva: Don’t tell my husband that. I found Pepe when I was 40 and he was 50. It was just like ‘can we just enjoy this life together.’ I mean I do yell at him for the toothbrush or something like that still.

Isabel: Because we are aware of the passage of time we are also aware of how our bodies deteriorate, slowly but surely. Day by day we don’t notice as much but when we look back we can see it. We can see how things change. It is not true that with aging we get any wiser, we don’t. [Both laugh] With old age we become more of what we already are. I keep telling people start training now for a wonderful old age. Take care of your body, health, relationships, how you see the world and how you are in the world [Ed note: this end sentence is a paraphrase].

[From the Connections podcast via People]

That was so interesting and deep! Isabel Allende is an incredible person. After that they talk about beauty and her thoughts on that are so good too. (She loves makeup and dressing up and wakes up so early, like me.) They also talk about aging and how that relates to the energy you spend. As a side note the editors and producers of that podcast are excellent I have to say.

As for Eva’s thoughts about jealousy, there are a couple of schools of thought. One is that of course there are people disposed toward jealousy who will feel that in any romantic relationship. Sometimes this develops through experience with past infidelity projected on new partners. The other is that you can get a vibe about your partner that all is not right and that comes out as jealousy. In Eva’s case I remember when Tony Parker, her second husband, was unfaithful to her. You can be jealous for good reason is what I’m saying. When you’re in a committed relationship and all is well that suspicion can go away too.


Photos credit: Avalon.red and via Instagram

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19 Responses to “Eva Longoria on jealousy in her past marriages: ‘It’s the worst feeling’”

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  1. Wiglet Watcher says:

    The feelings of jealousy never went away for me until I was in a healthy relationship. Then jealousy just never existed.
    My jealousy just came from being overall unhappy in previous ones.

    • candy says:

      This is so true. I used to be made to feel like I was “crazy” for being jealous. But in the end, it was always gaslighting. Trust your gut! My awesome boyfriend never ever makes me feel those feelings.

  2. Harla says:

    Jealousy went away for me once I realized that they’d cheat whether I worried about it or not. But most importantly, I realized that I would be fine without them, that really cinched it for me.

  3. A says:

    You are in for such a treat if you do pick up Allende’s books! I find her earliest ones the most charming but really, her stuff is always great, her own history is remarkable, and she seems like a great human being.

    • Celebitchy says:

      Oh thank you! Which one do you recommend I start with? It doesn’t have to be her first.

      • A says:

        Ooooooh. Depends entirely on the kind of mood you’re in because she’s written everything from a Zorro novel to a YA series to a book set during the Haitian Revolution. Some of them no doubt nowadays have trigger warnings for violence and sexual violence, just as a heads up.

        You could honestly start with her first, which I think is her biggest seller, The House of the Spirits. It’s kind of a big, magical realist family saga which looks at Chile’s history through the lens of one family. I personally always really liked Of Love and Shadows which has more romance. It draws a lot from Allende’s time as a journalist and follows a woman as she realizes what exactly it means to live under a dictatorship.

      • Jessy says:

        I would recommend you “ The daughter of fortune” or “The house of the Spirits”. They are amazing.

      • NCWoman says:

        I love all her work, but her heartrending memoir Paula about the illness and death of her daughter is the one that I still think about 25 years later.

      • Merrie says:

        Eva Luna is my favorite Isabel Allende book!

        Two fun facts!

        1. She always begins writing a new novel on January 8 (my birthday!). She wrote her dying grandfather a letter on Jan. 8, 1981, and that ended up being The House of the Spirits. It’s now her lucky day.

        2. She was fired from translating romance novels into Spanish after it was discovered because she altered the dialogue of the female characters to make them sound more intelligent. 🙂

  4. North of Boston says:

    That last part (wish it wasn’t paraphrased) is so important, about taking care of who you are, who you want to be, how you want to see the world is so important. As I’ve seen people around age into being elderly, they are even more themselves… the ones who were often cranky and complaining in their younger years are like that at 80 as a default setting, the ones who were more “make lemonade out the the lemons life sent you” and more accepting of differences, seeking joy … that’s what they are like at 80, often on the really bad days. Those pathways, expressions, ways of seeing get built into your brain and I’m trying to build what I hope to have with me at 80.

  5. LaUnicaAngelina says:

    @CB – I agree that 30 minutes is a nice timeframe for conversational podcast but I would not be mad if your podcast went to 45 minutes to 1 hour either! I sincerely enjoy the time “with” y’all.

    I’m excited to check out her podcast!

  6. DouchesOfCambridge says:

    I completely forgot about tony parker. He had such a shady face… i couldn’t.

  7. Lucy says:

    As soon as I saw jealousy mentioned, I was like yeah, of course she was jealous, she was married to an NBA player. Just about everyone in pro sports is a cheater. I’m glad Eva found someone that marriage works with. Got a soft spot for her being from Corpus too.

    • Lens says:

      Yeah perfectly understandable when jealousy is from an uneasy feeling that all is not right with your partner (as she felt with Tony Parker) . It can be poison to a relationship if it’s not based on anything other than a prior relationship did it to you so you can’t trust anymore.

    • AMA1977 says:

      My husband is from Corpus too and he always roots for her as a “hometown girl!” So cute.

  8. candy says:

    Omg I have to listen to this podcast! I have always loved Longoria, she was great in Desperate Housewives and I appreciate her activism for farm workers. She is unique. I will have to check out Allende too!

  9. Thelma says:

    Wonderful conversation. Have to check out the podcast. I love Isabel Allende and second Eva Luna or House of the Spirits as great books to start with if you’re just discovering her.

    • DiegoInSF says:

      She’s the best! Love love her too!

      This was a reply to Candy, my replies always get pushed down to the comment below.

  10. Julia K says:

    My husband and I flew to California in 2010 to visit family. When we were at LAX a fellow traveler pointed out to his companion, “that’s Eva Longoria”. If true, she was incredibly tiny. She looked so much bigger on screen.