We know now that the reason Leah Remini skipped out on good friend Jennifer Lopez’s August Sauna Ceremony was because Leah was soaking up the last few precious moments with her daughter before she went to college. Sofia Pagan is Leah and husband Anthony Pagan’s only child. The family has not made what school she is attending public, but she’s going out of state for school and Leah had to say goodbye last weekend. She posted the throwback photo above with the caption below. In it, Leah said she’d never cried so much than bringing Sofia to college. I warn you, there is a chance you’ll end up in tears before you’re done reading Leah’s caption.
Bringing our only child to college for the first time has been the most excruciatingly painful and proudest moment of my life. I have never cried so much in my life. I am only comforted by meeting other parents at Target who bonded with me over our mutual pain and pride.
It is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I’m still torturing myself with the idea that I might have pushed my daughter on the college track because I never got to go when I was her age. I am entering my second year at NYU, so now we’re both college students! I know many of you are going through this, not just sending your kids to college for the first time, but many of my friends are sending their children to kindergarten for the first time, and I remember that day like it was yesterday.
Angelo and I sat in the parking lot of our daughter’s school, crying like babies, and discussed pulling her out and homeschooling her. It is not easy to let go; change is so hard. It feels so unbelievably wrong to get on a plane without my daughter and leave her to be an adult when she is still just our baby in my and her dad’s eyes. I don’t look forward to going home where my daughter’s room will be empty without her until she comes home for Thanksgiving.
My heart goes out to all the parents and caretakers who might be going through this bittersweet journey.
The good news is, Thanksgiving is in 83 days…
I hope Leah flew First Class so she could cry in comfort and privacy. It’s such a relatable post. I have to believe it hits differently for those with only children, too. You go from parent to empty nester overnight. Parents with more than one kid spread it out over years. I laughed at Leah reflecting on pulling Sofia out and homeschooling her in Kindergarten. Like, “it’s been an hour, I can’t handle this! Get her out of there.” I kind of remember my mom and other parents sharing those bonding looks when she dropped me off at uni. I was her last to leave, though. My father couldn’t come with us, he couldn’t bear to think of me moving out. He’s still trying to negotiate a time share agreement with my husband.
The part that spoke to me the most was when Leah said, “I’m still torturing myself with the idea that I might have pushed my daughter on the college track because I never got to go when I was her age.” I imposed so many educational standards on my kids, it did some damage. So I backed off and they’ve really found their footing in school. They’ve chosen very different college paths than I’d intended for them, but they’re happy, which is better. I’m glad that Leah is able to let Sofia go so far away, given how attached she is to her. Some parents would try to keep their kids closer to home and Sofia had options closer to home. It’ll probably be important for both of them to make that break and keep that distance so Sofia can fully immerse herself but I’m sure it’s hard for Leah.
Leah had a follow up post in which she thanked all the people who helped her move Sofia in, like her sister. Sofia’s best friend was there too. And Leah’s mom had her favorite meal waiting for her when she got home. Aw. Leah needs to call Heidi Klum so they can commiserate together.
Photo credit: Instagram, Avalon Red and Backgrid
Ugh I did not need get weepy first thing today.
When we dropped off my eldest at school, I got back in the car and was feeling weepy – and then my younger son broke down SOBBING for about 15 minutes. It still makes me cry to think about it. Rob Lowe wrote a piece about taking his eldest to college and it really hit home for me. I’ve got two in college now and I’m still not used to it. I’m so proud AND I still miss them so much that it hurts.
Growing up in a Uni town then raising my kids in one college was assumed. The college was a big part of the community, their lives, all the activities, their friends and neighbors centered around it. Mine attended away colleges except for my first daughter who went one semester then took a job traveling all over the country. She finally settled in one place with the same company but has expressed she wants to go back to school. I don’t care except I’m jealous of her traveling life and wish I’d done it lol. I miss them terribly but what they’re gaining in life helps ease that.
Folks who listen to Leah’s podcast will know that she’s not kidding about the tears! Every time the topic of Sofia going to college was mentioned she would literally choke up and start talking about how emotional it’s making her…. and that was starting like a year ago! I believe she also took the summer off her podcast to spend more time with Sofia, although that’s conjecture on my part.
Anyway, it’s nice to see a mum so connected with her daughter. You can really tell she loves her with her whole heart and probably tells her that every day (and I’m sure Sofia is like “ya, mom… I know. Everyone knows” 🤣).
I figured the same, they haven’t had a new episode in a while. It’s probably good, the stuff they talk about it pretty heavy, so a break once in a while to focus on personal stuff is healthy.
I really, really applaud Leah for deciding to go to college now, at this point in her life. It feels like reclaiming a lot of what she lost due to CO$.
I live in RI and work PT at a home goods (but not Homegoods, lol) retailer. A bunch of celeb kids have gone/go to Brown so we periodically get them in shopping for dorms or off campus housing and they are the same as every other parent, and kids rolling their eyes too.
I have twins so next year instead of “losing” one, I’ll have instant empty nest and I’m already getting weepy. I just enjoy my kids so much. I have to stop because one of them is very emotional and I don’t want to influence her decision as to where to go. My husband keeps trying to get them to go local or close where they can come home on weekends. I yelled at him the other day that he HAS to stop that.
ACK! I’m not ready!
I cried buckets when mine when to college. I’m proud of her, and the separation is necessary, but wow, so hard.
Aw, I can relate. We dropped our daughter off at uni in another province last weekend and I bawled for two hours when we left. But we still have one kid at home for two more years so I’m not empty nesting just yet! And my daughter has already made a bunch of new friends and is enjoying herself so much that I can’t be sad anymore — even though the house feels emptier without her.
My dad reports that when they dropped me off at college in California, my mom started crying hard as soon as they pulled away (we’d driven from the Midwest) and kept crying for three full states… My kids are little, but I bawl my eyes out at the ending to Toy Story 3 knowing that the end of childhood comes way too soon…
This is so relatable. My only went to uni in the Boston area which was great because it was only a 75 minute direct flight. I legit cried when we dropped him off and he was rolling his eyes. Mr. Moira had the sunglasses on to hide the tears. This continued for 4 years and then covid came. After living with us for another year, he decided to go to the west coast for law school. Literally want to hold the boy hostage or at least get him to stay in the DMV area, but no dice.
Wish there was a time machine so I could go back and do it over again.
My oldest is a HS freshman and it hit me HARD this year that he’s going to be gone in the blink of an eye. I think I’m going to lose it when we drop him off. Fortunately, my little one is only in 4th grade, so I’ll have some time to adjust before she goes, too. Unfortunately, she thinks it’s HILARIOUS to say, “mom, he’s going to be in college BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!!” because she knows it freaks me out.
Love to all the CB parents and parents in general doing this very necessary, but very hard, work of letting your little fledglings leave the nest!! I hope they all soar.
Doesn’t matter whether it’s your first or last child, the pain of separation is excruciating. But you don’t cry in front of them as you don’t want to upset them. So you smile till your teeth crack and keep the tears till you drive around the corner, park and break your heart. And when you get home and go into an empty bedroom and bury your head in their pillow, smelling their smell and aching with loneliness. From their very first little steps you are training them to leave you, and it doesn’t get easier no matter how many children you have.
Every word of this, Emme.
I enjoy my kids so much — I used to cry when they went back to school after summer vacation in grades K-12. Dropping off my youngest at college, I thought I’d never stop weeping. They’re just so fun to have around.
Leah Remini is a national treasure. She is a brave, outspoken & fierce enemy of Scientology. She can hold her head high knowing she did something in trying to take them down.
I love how her relationship with her daughter seems so special. You can tell she really agonized over Sofia leaving.