Leonardo DiCaprio’s desperate damage control is actually hilarious

As I’ve said a few times now, Leonardo DiCaprio’s split with Camila Morrone felt different. It was a long relationship for him, more than four years, and they were only able to have that long relationship because they started dating when she was 20 years old. Once she turned 25 years old, the same thing happened to Camila that happened to every other 25-year-old before her – Leo said “adios” and gave her some breakup gifts, I guess. Something happened in those four years though, and I think it surprised Leo: his whole dating-expiration-date thing became public fodder on a massive scale, to the point where people have been clowning on him for a solid week. Which probably explains why Team DiCaprio has been trying to do some damage control.

First off, Camila is perhaps contractually obligated to put out an unbothered vibe. Yes, Leo dumped her on or around her 25th birthday, but she’s fine. Sources told People: “Camila is doing fine. She has a big group of friends that really care about her. She is moving on with her life. She is not in contact with Leo.” See, no harm, no foul, no one is really getting hurt by the Leo D Girlfriend Experience! Next up: Team DiCaprio is trying to make it clear that Leo would absolutely deign to bang an ancient spinster like Gigi Hadid, who is 27 years old. The Gigi rumors have been happening at such a steady clip, I have to believe DiCaprio wants them out there.

Leonardo DiCaprio has got his eye on Gigi Hadid after his split from Camila Morrone.

“Leo does have his sights set on Gigi, but she hasn’t shown an interest,” a source exclusively reveals in the newest issue of Us Weekly. “They’re friends, but she doesn’t want to be romantic with [him] right now.”

The insider says that while the Titanic star, 47, may have “his sights” on the 27-year-old model, she, however, “doesn’t have her sights on him.”

[From Us Weekly]

Yeah, this reeks of “See? The over-25 women don’t want Leo, he HAS to date 20-year-olds!” I see Leo’s efforts and they’re cracking me up. This man is in the TRENCHES! It’s gotten so bad that he’s contacting 1990s ex-girlfriends and asking them to speak in his defense. That’s exactly what happened when Kristen Zang wrote a little essay for People Magazine about how she and Leo were together for four years when they were both 21. They broke up around her 25th birthday (lolz) but she emphasizes that she outgrew him and she was ready to move on from that relationship. She’s trying to clap-back on the “ageist headlines and comments” which is funny because literally no one is making fun of Camila Morrone. It’s not “ageist” to say “wow, Leo dumps women on their 25th birthday.” LEO IS AGEIST, not the headlines. Anyway, it’s completely insane that Zang felt the need to cape for Leo, my God.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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57 Responses to “Leonardo DiCaprio’s desperate damage control is actually hilarious”

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  1. PaperclipExtrordinaire says:

    He soooo wants to be his generation’s Jack Nicholson in that way. Jack never really peeped a word tho, which is kind of impossible to get away with in the social media age.

    • Concern Fae says:

      Jack also knocked up his daughter’s best friend. Probably why Leo says no kids. If you stick with the young ones eventually you overlap with your own offspring.

      At a certain point, Jack just decided to party with the party girls and be generous to them. He seems to know his lane and stay in it.

    • lanne says:

      There’s no chance to be Jack Nicholson in the age of social media. Didn’t Polanski’s pedophile rape happen at his house? The 1970s anything goes days are completely over. (rightfully so) No adult man will ever get away with openly partying with teenagers anymore without anyone blinking an eye. People will see it, talk about it, name and shame. Rightfully so. So I suppose that means people will have to work harder to hide their debauchery–perhaps seeking out even more vulnerable people in poorer countries. Even then, they’ll be a smart phone video away from public opprobrium.

      To be the next Jack Nicholson shouldn’t be anyone’s goal anymore, or at least anyone who wants a public profile. The stuff Jack Nicholson did back in the day wouldn’t look cool today–it would look abusive. As it should.

    • MissMarirose says:

      Jack was with an age appropriate woman – Anjelica Huston – for a long time, so I don’t know how that tracks.

      • lanne says:

        Lots of rumors about debauchery at his house. And he wasn’t exactly Mr. faithful

      • BeanieBean says:

        He was 36 & she was 21 when they got together. ‘Age appropriate’? Sure, I guess, but hardly at the same point in their lives.

    • Mel says:

      Yeah, but Jack also didn’t go out of his way to be with the 25 and under crowd. He may have messed around with them but his “official” partners were grown -ups.

      • tuille says:

        Some of the “in” girls at Beverly Hills High were regulars at Jack’s weekend house parties. The girls were 16-18 yers old and the most of the male guests were Jack’s contemporaries.

        There were some younger guys, too – “family friends.” Lots of food, drink & high-quality smoking material. It was very well known locally & surprisingly (to me) some moms bragged about their daughters’ access to H’wood elites.

  2. thaisajs says:

    Do any Gen Zers really care about Leo? He’s so old to them. His biggest problem isn’t which young girl he’s gonna glom onto next, but the fact that he’s gonna have a hard time getting parts for any movies that are targeting younger audiences.

  3. Love says:

    I can see why people reach 25 and decide they’re out though, we keep framing this as him leaving them

    At 25, they probably start to look at settling down, and that’s not his thing because he wants to remain a man child

    • michyk says:

      i always kind of wondered this, too. i personally think it’s a bit of both. at 25, some women who want to actually settle down and have kids start thinking a little seriously about it. and if it is all him, at least he’s breaking up with them early and not stringing them along while they’re younger. none of this particularly makes him a good person. and none of that thinking means he can’t actually date someone in their late 30s/early 40s or whatever. i just don’t think any of it makes him a particular bad person. it’s all just a little eyerolley.

    • Mia4s says:

      “At 25, they probably start to look at settling down”

      Really? I don’t think so, not these days. 30 sure, I think that happens but most women in the 25 range are building careers, doing graduate school, and hopefully out there getting the most out of life. These days it feels like 25 is considered young to “settle down”. But I’m sure you’re right in the sense that is what he and/or his people would say. 😒

      • BeanieBean says:

        My mom was a Depression Era baby & she always told me don’t get married until you’re at least 30. And that was some time ago, as I’m a boomer. I think today, more than ever, women at 25 are in the early stages of their careers more often than not. Looking to settle down? No. I think it’s more that as time goes on, Leo’s just the old man & not really a lot of interest to them. It’s only going to get harder for him, not easier.

  4. Julia K says:

    His eyes may be the only part of his anatomy interested in Gigi.

  5. Chaine says:

    Lol why would Gigi be interested in him? It’s been a long time since I was a 27 year old, but at that age I would have considered a 47 year old not at all as a romantic partner, but rather as ancient, crusty, and gross.

    • lanne says:

      And she has her own money too. She doesn’t need him for money or fame. There’s a story from Psychology today that’s getting a lot of talk on reddit, basically saying that lots of men today are having trouble finding relationships. One reason is that the things that men would typically provide–a house, money, security–woman can achieve themselves. Men have to realize that they have to bring more to the table than a steady job and a house. A woman who works an equally high-paying job, or an even higher paying job than a man, is less likely to want to come home and be a mommy bangmaid to a man on top of her own full time job. If a man can’t step up and be a partner, then who needs him?

      Lots of men were boo-hooing over the fact that they have to actually work on their personalities and bring something more to the table. It’s true in famous-land, too. A high-powered young woman isn’t going to be impressed with a big star just because he’s a big star. For one, she might be a bigger star herself. Two, what does she need with the baggage of an aging manchild who will likely whine about her not wanting to give up her whole life for him. What’s in it for her? She can buy her own Prius, thank you very much.

      • SarahCS says:

        That’s fascinating and makes complete sense, the dynamics of relationships are shifting. Part of me is thrilled that women are doing their thing and another worries at the violence and hatred that comes from the men who don’t accept the shift.

        In the meantime yes, Gigi can absolutely buy her own Prius!

      • Zapp Brannigan says:

        Mommy Bangmaid! 💀💀💀

      • Emily says:

        I read the same article. So many men are upset that women expect emotional maturity, partnership, respect etc. It’s not surprising that women also initiate something like 70% of divorces. Sadly, it will only encourage the incels and the pro forced birthers.

  6. Erin says:

    When I saw both of these I just shook my head and laughed. I wonder what this ex from decades ago, from before he hit it really big got for her words?

    Also, the day I see Leo date anyone older than 24 with a small child in tow I’ll eat my shorts.

  7. Nicki says:

    Holly Hunter has a great line in the movie The Firm that makes me think of Leo. Her character is explaining her split with the man she married at age 18 and says “One day over breakfast I just got too old for him.”

  8. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I still don’t get it though. How can you keep starting over? Like from an introductory stage…it’s unfathomable to me. The work involved.

    • MissMarirose says:

      It’s work if you’re trying to relate to the other person on something other than a non-superficial level. It’s probably not that much work, though, if you’re going after girls in their early 20s who aren’t part of the intelligentsia and get starstruck at attention from a big movie star.

      • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

        The idea of starting relationships over and over and over gives me hives, it really does. I’ve told my husband, if anything happens to us, I’m done like dinner.

  9. Seraphina says:

    I got sucked into reading the article from the ‘90s ex. And I was like, oh boy. It must be bad if some ex from that long ago is coming forward.
    It was strange to read because obviously she has moved on and created a life for herself yet Leo is still dating and breaking up with 20 year olds.

    • Mia4s says:

      I imagine she received a nice gift around the time the article was written. Oh having nothing to do with the article of course! Total coincidence! 😏

    • Emily says:

      The article does exonerate him as the one always doing the dumping when women reach an expiration date. BUT it also paints him negatively. Women over 25 simply outgrow him. He’s mentally stuck at 21 even though he is looking older and older.

  10. lunchcoma says:

    I wonder if he’s considered just…not responding to this stuff. He’s not going to change his behavior, and the attempts to explain it just make things worse for him.

    The fact that he’s interested in dating a woman who’s two years older than his maximum does not make him look any better, and the fact that a woman who has her own career and fame isn’t interested in dating him says A LOT.

    • Jennifer says:

      It is kind of hilarious that they’re trying to float this and yet even they have to admit Gigi isn’t into the idea.

  11. MsIam says:

    Sorry to be shallow but looks wise he’s really gone down hill. He reminds me of Edward G. Robinson in the picture wearing the suit. He just needs a cigar. Yeeks!

  12. Normades says:

    I don’t know how that article works to defend him. It just pretty much confirms the same story since Giselle and beyond regardes of who broke up with who: Girl grows up, stunted dude stays the same.

  13. Lizzie Bathory says:

    Leo has always struck me as an old school studio era type actor, complete with the media strategy to present his relationships as normal or even aspirational. Decades ago, he’d probably have been “encouraged” to marry a starlet selected by his bosses. Now, his people just point at women he’ll never be involved with but who have the right profile for his brand.

  14. Becks1 says:

    I just think this breakup is hilarious bc how many times over the past few years on this site has there been reference made to the cut off age of 25? And then bam, she hits 25 and they’re broken up. Like we all saw this coming from a mile away lol.

  15. arhus says:

    If this is his damage control, I don’t feel like it’s very good. His excuse is that the women are all to mature for him? He’s just an immature silly boy child still?

  16. Case says:

    I honestly think there’s a very small subsect that cares about who Leonardo DiCaprio dates so much that it impacts their image of him as an actor. He’s one of the last “movie stars” we have left, he’s generally well-liked by multiple generations of moviegoers, and, other than occasionally being seen with 20somethings, he keeps his private life to himself.

  17. Hotsauceinmybag says:

    This entire article had me laughing from start to finish. Thank you Kaiser!

  18. HeyKay says:

    Maybe Leo should try therapy and grow up himself. Instead of being Peter Pan all his life.

  19. Plums says:

    My dude is a child star who became a heartthrob in his own early 20s and straight into respectable A lister from there. He’s never not been famous on some level and is probably a total arrested development headcase in his private life as a result, but I respect him being self aware enough to know he doesn’t want to settle down and have kids.

    Imo, he’s making the same PR mistakes Affleck makes by thinking all the meme clowning requires publicist intervention. It does not. The memes are not malicious. He’s been around forever; the jokes are because we’re familiar with his patterns and love him enough to joke about it.

    • Lorina says:

      Quite agree with you!

    • Anners says:

      I think this has a lot to do with it (arrested development). But I was listening to Behind the Blinds, a podcast that another commenter suggested, and they did a deep dive into Leo DiCaprio and the Bermuda triangle of child actors and it blew my mind. Basically, Leo (and Toby McGuire) lived for a while with a known pedophile (like had been arrested multiple times for it) and were surrounded by other known pedophiles. It’s a very safe bet that he was assaulted and abused from a young age, which most definitely has messed him up. It doesn’t excuse his behavior with women, but for me it explains a lot. I still find him repellent, but I have a smidgen of compassion for him, too.

  20. impy says:

    def sounds like his ex was making it like leo was so traumatized he is stuck in a cycle and cant get past twenty five. ridiculous. and i love this. so dumb.

  21. Isabella says:

    Besides Angelica Huston, I can’t think of anybody in that category. Two things. can be true. Leo can be a dirtbag but very talented. Same with Jack.

  22. Lorina says:

    While I find the whole strict cut-off age quite funny, I do agree with other posters about his self-awareness. I like people who have the self-awareness to know that they wouldnt be great parents and act accordingly, a whole lot better than those who get married and have children because they bow to the pressure, because ‘It’s what you do.’
    I mean, it’s all funny on the outside, but who knows if he was ever able to grow up, and if he carries childhood trauma. I read horrendous stories about the paedophiles around child-actors.
    I do like his honesty.

  23. detritus says:

    If it was so mutual and friendly then why is Marrone not talking to DiCaprio, hmm?

    See, she’s fine, she just never wants to speak to the man who was a major part of her life for 5 of her 25 years again.

    • Jennifer says:

      Usual breakup etiquette is to not talk to/”be friends with” an ex, so that’s not unusual.

  24. Christine says:

    I think he’ll lay low for awhile and then debut a new 22 year old in a few months.

    Also, I think Yolanda is behind the Gigi rumors.

  25. Aiglentine says:

    What I want to know is, when is he starting in a Lenin biopic? He absolutely looks the part.

  26. Jay says:

    Does that make him look better, though, that he’s nearly 50 and keeps getting dumped by 20 year olds who expect more maturity from you?

    Two things: The women in his target age range have not experienced the “hot Leo” period of the late 90s. They only know him as a self-serious movie star who dumps his model girlfriends once their frontal cortex finishes developing. Is Leo cool? Is he fun? I guess he’ll get you to all the parties, but he’s not the only rich, sceevy old dude who has access to a yacht.

    Also, Leo is not ready to date a gen-z woman, lol. Camilla was an exception of sorts because of her background, but even she posted their life, their trips, and their dogs all over social media. Just imagine if he tries to tell the next model/influencer he dates what she can and can’t post about! Good luck, dude.

  27. Jennifer says:

    Very good point that no matter how long you’re with Leo, it doesn’t matter once you hit your expiration date. I could never date someone knowing he’s going to give me the boot like everyone else once I age. Ugh. Unless you’re in it just for the money, I suppose.

  28. Bread and Circuses says:

    I recall when he was on an Oscar campaign and said he was looking for “inner beauty” in a woman, and I just thought, “Phew. Inner beauty that happens to come packaged in a 22-year-old Victoria Secret model’s body? Or is ‘inner beauty’ your euphemism for ‘vagina’, Leo?”