Rihanna on abuse photo: “humiliating”; “domestic violence a big secret”

ABC will air an exclusive interview with Rihanna on Good Morning America and 20/20 in which she’ll speak publicly for the first time about the brutal beating she suffered at the hands of then-boyfriend Chris Brown in February. Chris has since pled guilty to felony assault and is serving five years probation along with six months of community service.

Chris has spoken several times about the beating, albeit in a passive roundabout way, and has apologized to Rihanna and his fans. Rihanna has yet to say anything, but that will soon change with her interview in Glamour’s December issue and with this televised interview with Diane Sawyer.

rihannasawyerFrom the kind of vague advanced details released by ABC, it’s hard to tell whether she’ll go into detail or if she’ll just speak in general terms about the abuse. ABC quotes her as saying Chris “was definitely my first big love,” and that “This happened to me…it can happen to anyone,” but those are the only quotes they’re providing.

Rihanna also talks about the incident in the December issue of Glamour, and the interview is available online. She primarily focuses on the press fallout and how she was embarassed by the release of the police photo showing the extent of her injuries. She also makes what will become a much-repeated remark comparing the massive press attention after her attack to what Britney deals with, “I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears.” Rihanna also gives a thoughtful comment about how she hopes that her situation will inspire women in abusive situations to break their silence and seek help.

Glamour: Let’s talk about this past year—you’ve obviously been through some difficult things. How did the people around you help you cope?

Rihanna: My friends and family have been extremely supportive, and everyone has been there for me. But at some point you are there alone. It’s a lonely place to be—no one can understand. That’s when you get close to God.

Glamour: Are you referring to the [Chris Brown] incident?

Rihanna: I am talking about starting with the night [before] the Grammys and then on. That was not the only thing that occurred this year. The picture leaking…it was one thing after another.

Glamour: You’re talking about the photo [reportedly of Rihanna’s injured face taken by police after Brown assaulted her] that was allegedly leaked by cops. You handled that so well; you kept silent in the press.

Rihanna: It was humiliating; that is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it’s my life. I was disappointed, especially when I found out the photo was [supposedly leaked by] two women.

Glamour: How has this event changed you as a person, as a woman?

Rihanna: I’m stronger, wiser and more aware. You don’t realize how much your decisions affect people you don’t even know, like fans.

Glamour: Do you think you’ve gotten your strength from your mom?

Rihanna: Definitely. My mom gave us the tools to survive…. My parents separated when I was eight or nine. I helped her raise my [youngest] brother, because my mom was working all the time. He’s my favorite.

Glamour: Do you feel that this experience has laid the groundwork for coping with anything so public again?

Rihanna: It has taught me so much. I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day. It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can’t go back home?

Glamour: If you could offer a message to the millions of young women who look up to you, what would you tell someone who found herself in a similar situation?

Rihanna: Domestic violence is a big secret. No kid goes around and lets people know their parents fight. Teenage girls can’t tell their parents that their boyfriend beat them up. You don’t dare let your neighbor know that you fight. It’s one of the things we [women] will hide, because it’s embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard. Now I can help speak for those women.

[From Glamour.com]

It sounds like Rihanna is acknowledging what happened to her without getting into the details and without directly condemning Brown. This is a smart media strategy, and one that makes her seem like she’s moved on, but is still very sensitive to the plight of women who suffer abuse. Maybe that’s why she waited to speak to the press – she wanted to process everything and reach a point where she could talk about it. I have a lot of respect for the way she did this and I’m looking forward to seeing her interview with Sawyer.

Rihanna is shown on 11/2/09. Credit: WENN.com. Other image courtesy ABC

Related stories

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

67 Responses to “Rihanna on abuse photo: “humiliating”; “domestic violence a big secret””

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Firestarter says:

    I am glad she is speaking about this and doing it in a dignified sort of way.

    Hopefully she will inspire other women her age, older and younger to get help in that type of situation.

    I will be interested in seeing what the interview reveals.

  2. Bodhi says:

    It IS embarrassing. I didn’t want anyone to know that my ex beat the crap out of me. Good for her for speaking out. I might actually watch this interview

  3. Megan says:

    i know she’s great, but… THAT HAIR!

  4. Gina says:

    This “coming out” doesnt set well with me. I believe they BOTH were physical that night and probably even before that. I truely believe that if a woman is going to hit like a man, she needs to take it like a man. Especially when the other person is driving! I dont even like Chris Brown, dont listen to his music, but this whole interview is crap. They were abusive to each other and his career is ruined and she comes out the saint. This is so many colors of wrong!
    Im sorry, but I do not feel sorry for her, she has used this assault to her advantage and thats wrong to ruin someone for BOTH of their bad behavior in order to climb the ladder.

  5. Firestarter says:

    @Gina- Well you obviously have never been in an abusive relationship, otherwise you would not say what you have.

  6. Kerri says:

    This is always going to be a tricky topic with some people. While they may have been at each other before, there is still no reason to beat someone the way he did (based on the alleged reports).

    She sounds more mature and displays alot of tact. Based on the comments thus far it does not appear that she is bashing Chris or trying to ruin him. it does not seem as though she is playing a blame game. She is highlighting what happened to her and its just unfortunate that she had to deal with it in the spotlight.

  7. Trillion says:

    I’m glad she’s speaking out. She’s right: This is such a taboo subject and it has no socio-economic boundaries. And Gina: This is the kind of junk I’d expect to hear from a stupid frat boy, not a “fellow” female.

  8. birdie says:

    Gina -#1. there is no proof they were “both physical”

    #2. – Chris Brown walked away from that car physically injury free. We all know Rihanna was not so lucky.

    #3. – There is never an excuse to beat someone down like Chris did. It seems to me like you are arguing he hit her in self-defense… No. If that was the case he would have hit her once and got away. HE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HER! And then he didn’t serve jail time or anything! Thank god he lost his career, it shows there is some justice in the world.

  9. andrea says:

    Firestarter – you do not have to have been in an abusive relationship to disagree with Gina’s comments.

  10. andrea says:

    p.s. i dont like that the glamour interviewer directly praises rihanna for handling the photo leak by staying “silent”. i get that the interviewer is referring to not contributing to the media circus, but i think praising silence as a reaction to domestic violence sends exactly the wrong message.

  11. Gina says:

    I have been in an abusive relationship – years ago. That is why I made the comment if youre gonna hit like a man, you deserve to be treated as one. She is not innocent. SHe hit him, sure she did. If you want to believe she didnt, so be it. Stay in the dark.

  12. birdie says:

    Gina, It doesn’t matter to me if she did hit him or provoked him or what have you.

    What matters is that he inflicted major harm to Rihanna. She was seriously beat down, and that is not OK.

    If you look at that photograph of Rihanna and you think she “deserves” it, then I honestly think you need therapy because that is NOT OK.

  13. danielle says:

    Gina – if a man is in a relationship with a woman who hits him, he should dump her, not hit her back. Not that there is any proof that Rihanna hit him. There is proof, including Chris’ admission that he hit her. And Andrea, I agree, the interviewer praising Rihanna for keeping silent was poorly phrased.

  14. Nebraska says:

    There are alot of men getting abused by women and they stay silent because they won’t get sainted for speaking out, they just get looked upon as “sissy” and if they fight back, the onus is on them to prove their innocence. My buddy’s girlfriend hit him and HE went to jail for raising his arm to defend himself; the gf didn’t go to jail for hitting him. @Gina, well said. I believe this was a coke fuelled night gone way wrong.

  15. Lenn says:

    It annoys me how they both whine about the media-attention. THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE! She seems more upset about the media than about the incident. I hate how she stays so vague about what happened. Take a stand, be strong, speak loud an clear that this is not acceptable.

  16. Iggles says:

    Firestarter – Well said, regarding Gina’s defend the abuser post.

    Fighting back when someone is trying to beat the crap out of you is self defense. It doesn’t matter how it began. He was trying to kill her. I don’t think for a second his beating her was self defense. They are not evenly matched and the dude has a black belt in karate, so his fists literally are lethal weapons.

    Anyway, I commend Rihanna for speaking out! I realize people have to come to terms to things on their own time and I’m proud of her for standing up now for what is right. Domestic violence is a major problem. More woman are killed by their partners then by strangers. We need to put an end to this.

    If Chris had attacked a stranger the way he did Rihanna, he would be in jail right now for assault. It’s wrong that this beating is viewed differently because he did it to his girlfriend!

  17. pj says:

    For anyone who is saying that Rihanna hit Chris first and she started it and she is to blame blah blah blah…admit that you just didn’t like her in the first place and you’re reaching…

    You have no proof Rihanna abused Chris and “deserved what she got.” You have no proof.

    If you do, I would like to see it.

  18. CC says:

    @Gina…I agree with you…mainstream America just now finding about these 2 because of this incident but I’ve followed both and purchased their music in the past and let me tell you before this incident…TMZ the same ppl that published her photo ran a post where they were at this club and she went off and began hitting him and he walked off…ppl are saying Chris walked away with no bruises…we never saw his mug shot you know why because its sealed..that photo will never see the light of day…there are other reports on how she use to hit on him… her ppl and his ppl in the beginning of this whole mess stated this…but what I’m more pissed and anger about is she waited until her damn album is about to drop in 3 weeks to talk about speaking up for young girls…DV is serious (I saw this growing up ) and all these months she was partying and giving the public a fashion show half naked…where was she 7 months ago…and Glamour gave her woman of the year (please stop)…and ppl wonder why these young girls have low self-esteem problems and use their body for love…I’m very disappointed…what Chris did that night was dead ass wrong…point blank period but she’s using this to sell her cd and its shameful…

  19. CC says:

    oh, and another thing…why did the first judge throw out this same affidavit as hearsay…and if some of you believe he almost killed her why wasn’t he charged with attempted murder…I’m not trying to defend Chris actions but I’m trying to understand…

  20. Gina says:

    Of course she hit him….I think he put up with alot of crap from her. She was jealous and she got stupid that night in the car. All you poor battered women – I call BS. Dont cuss me about how you have all been hurt – BOO freakin HOO. Get out of the relationship. I think Chris really loved her, thats why he stuck it out,UNTIL he got sick of it and beat her ass back. Now hes the bad guy, whatever.

  21. Firestarter says:

    “I have been in an abusive relationship – years ago. That is why I made the comment if youre gonna hit like a man, you deserve to be treated as one. She is not innocent. SHe hit him, sure she did. If you want to believe she didnt, so be it. Stay in the dark”
    I don’t even understand the logic behind a comment like that!


    A real man, if hit, will walk away from that moment, and that relationship. There is never an excuse for a man to hit a woman, unless he is fending off a murderer, or protecting his family, otherwise, there is no cause for a man to hit a woman. That is bar brawling, hillbilly kind of behavior. Decent men, and people period, do not settle difficult times with their fists!

    For the record Gina- I DID GET OUT OF MY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! And yeah, boo hoo when a man thinks it is okay to hit a 5ft, 95 lb woman!

    I am also interested to know how you know that he loved her? A man does NOT love a woman if he resorts to hitting her. If you think that, you are a very misguided individual. If he loved her, then he would have WALKED away and told HER to get help and stayed away until she got it. A saner, thinking, normal individual does not equate love with “sticking it out” Once a man begins to hit a woman, it never stops.

    I love these Chris Brown apologists. They always attack the women but never find fault with a man who thinks that his fists are okay with which to solve problems.

  22. birdie says:

    I’m disturbed by how many people are coming out in support of Chris Brown and against Rihanna. Our whole society needs rehabilitation against the mentality that its alright to use violence against anyone for any reason. It is never okay to physically assault someone.

  23. Gina says:

    Birdie: I TOTALLY agree, beating on someone is wwrong…I admit that. But lets be honest here. Why is it ALWAYS poor her and hes the jerk? Thats not always the case, and I dont believe that is the case with RiRi and Chris. I dont believe this was the first time they got into it and I definately dont believe see never hit him. I think he put up with alot of crap from her because he loved her…but when someone is kickin your a** in a car, you have to fight back, woman or man. And if she throws a punch like a man, then she needs to take it like a man. I have raised my son to NEVER EVER hit a woman, unless that woman wants to act like a man. Then “game on”.

  24. CC says:

    @birdie…I totally agree no one should hit anyone…I have a friend that work in the school system and she told me one time how these girls are fighting these boys like its ok…she said that its a growing problem with violence in the youth…its really sad where our country is heading…

  25. SolitaryAngel says:

    My comment is concerning the body language in that photo of Diane Sawyer and Rhianna; Diane seems to be “looming” over Rhianna, and she’s leaning back and looking down. Very odd.

    It’s a shame that I think she’s only speaking out now to promote her album; I don’t think she’s sincere at all about what she’s saying. I hope I’m wrong.

  26. HashBrowns says:

    I think it is truly awful that some people can say that Chris Brown shouldn’t look like the bad guy when he did what he did to Rihanna.

    Whether she hit him or not is NOT the point or even a part of the issue. He knows his own strength. If you read the transcript of what actually happened to her, you’d never EVER say she deserved it for probably smacking him over the head.

    Rihanna hitting Chris Brown is NOT the same as Chris Brown hitting Rihanna. You cannot equate the two. You also cannot say that because she’s hit him in the past, that gives him a free pass to slam her head against the passenger side window (that is not hyperbolic, that is from the transcript). He could have killed her. Please stop making excuses for him.

    This was not some evenly matched brawl that these two happened to have like on Cops where both people are skinny and both are bleeding and have bruises. Rihanna was in hiding for WEEKS afterward until her injuries healed.

    I’m disgusted with you Gina.

  27. Shannon says:

    How is a woman who hits someone “acting like a man”? That implies that women are supposed to be docile little creatures who do not stand up for themselves. It just perpetuates the “stay silent and take it” crap. Gina, I do not believe you were in an abusive relationship. You clearly don’t understand that most women have a very hard time leaving a man even when he is abusive. It’s not just physical abuse they have to contend with – before that comes months or years of MENTAL abuse that convinces these women that the abuse is their fault.

    It is never ok to hit, including “fighting back”, ESPECIALLY if you are a man who is much bigger and stronger than the woman who may or may not be hitting you.

    There is no proof that Rihanna was physically abusive at all anyway, so I’m not sure where that is being pulled from.

  28. Firestarter says:

    “I have raised my son to NEVER EVER hit a woman, unless that woman wants to act like a man. Then “game on”.”


    I find that statement really sad. Instead of raising him to maybe hit a woman if the circumstances, according to him are right, shouldn’t you be steering him in the direction of never hitting anyone and maybe walking away from a potentially toxic relationship? What gives any man the right to hit a woman? Walk the f*** away. Violence is never a means to an end.

  29. HashBrowns says:

    “And if she throws a punch like a man, then she needs to take it like a man.”

    What you don’t seem to understand, Gina, is that they were not evenly matched.

    Let me put this in perspective: I’m 5’5″ about 130. I’ve got zero upper body strength. Pretty much any adult could beat me up. If I were the “Chris Brown” in a fight situation (aka, the equivalent of an adult male with a black belt), the person fighting me would have to be maybe a 12 or 13 year old. Old enough to hit hard enough to be a nuisance but not necessarily a threat to my life.

    How would a 12 or 13 year old hitting me justify me beating the living hell out of them?

  30. Gina says:

    Hold on, I have to stop laughing………………………OK…as I have said 900 times, I dont believe in violence, but if someone, man or woman, hits me first, IM GONNA HIT BACK. And i have raised my children that way. I dont want them to start it, I dont want them to beat women, but AGAIN, AS I HAVE SAID NOW 901 times, if SHE is gonna hit a man, she deserves what she gets…NO ONE has the right to hit anyone but if you do – dont cry about it when you get your A** kicked.

  31. Gina says:

    And Shannon, you dont know me to say I wasnt in an abusive relationship. Years ago, I stayed in an abusive relationship for drugs. He was a drug dealer and I needed the drugs so I stayed. After almost 2 years, my dad came and dragged me out of his house.
    THANK GOD. I have been clean and sober since.
    So DO NOT tell me I dont know about abuse. You have no clue what you are talking about.

  32. Firestarter says:

    @Gina- What is wrong with walking away and PRESSING charges? Violence begets more violence.

    You are entitled to handle things your way, but you only perpetuate the cycle of violence in society today.

    You know, when I was hit, I didn’t hit back, I called the cops and let them hand out the punishment. Problem solved!~

    I ask again, what gives any man or woman the right to strike another human being, unless it is a matter of life and death? So if someone hits you, the best thing to do it battle it out until the stronger one comes out on top? Shoot, if that’s the case, then we should all be cage fighters, making money!

  33. Alex says:

    Gina, I think that what people are trying to point out is that a majority of women do not have upper body strength to do much damage. Example, if I ever hit my guy it might sting a bit. If he ever hit me, I’d be knocked flat. And considering Chris is a black belt it’s NOT a fair fight at all! I don’t give a damn if she hit him first. Walk away!

    And… CC… ‘her damn album’ – what about HIS!?!?!? He’s releasing one too – which might explain his trip to Larry King with his Mama wearing a frickin’ bow tie! Pathetic punk.

  34. birdie says:

    @ Gina & CC

    You both claim to agree with me, that taking violent actions is never the right path. But then you both contradict yourselves right away saying take it like a man.

    I have a few problems with what you are saying.

    First of all, who dictates that it’s manly to punch? Why do you both keep making this about a woman overstepping her boundaries by acting like a man. This is not the attitude of our era, we have moved past these ridiculous gender stereotypes. Implicit in your argument is the idea that its okay for men to physically assault other men. Wrong! Women can hit, men can hit, anyone can hit – But that does not make it acceptable!

    Man or Woman, Violence is never okay! In NO WAY was Chris Brown’s life threatened by Rihanna. As another poster pointed this is a situation of a muscled up black-belt beating the crap out of a much smaller, much thinner person.

    Personally, I think violence is an epidemic in our society. These posters who keep defending Chris Brown, saying in this situation what he did was okay. You people make me sick. I believe that anyone who resorts to violence is showing proof positive of their own unintelligence. Violent outbursts are a sign that the person behind that fist is too dense to use their words to express their anger.

  35. Zarah says:

    I’m sorry Gina but I don’t believe a word you’re saying. YOU SUFFERED ABUSE? You sure as hell don’t sound like it. Instead of the empathy and understanding about how a situation like this could have occured, you’re coming across as a demented Chris Bron fanatic. In fact, I’m fairly sure I’ve seen your posts elsewhere, all adamant that Rihanna got what she deserved because she allegedly and according to you ( who was in the car with them of course!) hit him first. As if even if that were the case that was enough reason to pummel her, bite her, punch her repeatedly, strangle her and leave her to her fate with no mercy as he walked off.

    What on earth is the matter with you?

    As for the interview himself, it’s pretty clear she isn’t going to condemn him. More’s the pity. Instead she’s going to focus on what she’s learned and how she’s come through it. Of course there’s some self service here, this is Hollywood afterall and nothing is done for nothing, but I prefer this approach rather than the relentless and quite frankly pathetic tweeting by that other person involved.

  36. Lisa says:

    Truth is a lot of you on here are taking sides with this woman because you want to believe what the media is telling you. All these months of partying and leaking of naked pictures and all of a sudden you want to talk because your album is coming out soon?! GTFOH with that BS. If she really wants to be a role model, go on a tour and talk to women who suffered and are still suffering DV. Otherwise, don’t feed me or the rest of us BS that you are strong and you are happy to be a role model to women who suffered DV. Trust me if I were one, I wouldn’t be looking up to you. BTW everyone is entitled to their opinion stop going off on Gina because she’s stating her opinion. Most of you need to step out the box and look at things from both sides. Chris is terrible, Chris is that. He’s human! We all make mistakes! Are you perfect? I thought so…NEXT!

  37. Firestarter says:

    Any man that beats a woman IS terrible! End of story.

  38. Juice In LA says:

    Give it up Gina, you are very deluded and very wrong, People like firestarter, birdie and (of course megan’s hair comment) have got it right.

    If you feel that way about your personal experience- keep it to yourself, your opinion should not be validated by our society.

    Does anyone besides me think that Rhianna isn’t exactly clear thinking on the matter yet either? She talks about Domestic Violence being a horrible secret( which is true) but speaks out about the humiliation of her photo being leaked.

    The way I see it, if even one battered woman saw Rhianna’s photo and realized she was not alone, maybe it even gave her the strength to realize she should try to get out- then that photo being leaked was a very very good thing.

  39. Gina says:

    Zahara – I have only left a response one other time, so apparently you have mistaken me for someone else.
    And the next time I go to open a jar and cant, I will remind myself it is all in my head that I cant use 3 fingers on my left hand caused from abuse.

  40. Gina says:

    it is no use, most of you women havent a clue and I think most are lying they were in abusive relationships – I think they talk just to hear themselves talk.
    If they choose to be hit and not hit back, then you all deserve what you get. Go ahead, call the cops, 9 times out of 10 you will get it worse the next time, cause the woman goes back cause she wants to make it work. You people have no clue. Find a subject you know something about before you start giving advise.

  41. Firestarter says:

    Gina- Well if you think that I would have a chance against a man who is 6ft and 205lbs hitting him back and not be killed, you are sadly mistaken.

    Who in the hell are you to say any of us deserved it? That is the typical response of someone who has no idea of what they are talking about. Have you even read your posts and seen how ridiculous and hate filled you sound? I called the cops like a normal civilized person and I never f***** went back. I do have a clue, whereas I am afraid you do not.

    Also, since you seem to know everything, it’s spelled ADVICE!

  42. sg says:

    Rihanna is talking about it now because she does have an album coming out that she has to promote according to her record contract. She has no choice but to give interviews now so of course she is going to talk about it, knowing she’s going to be bombarded with questions about it. It’s part of her job. These comments of “she’s only talking about it now because she has an album to promote” are really ignorant. I would expect this site’s readers to be more media-aware.

  43. Bodhi says:

    There is such twisted logic going on in this thread! OMG!

    “I think Chris really loved her, thats why he stuck it out,UNTIL he got sick of it and beat her ass back.”

    There is NO WAY that Rhi could POSSIBLY EVER beat Chris’s ass. Its physically impossible. Reading this “defending Chris” crap is actually making me ill. Why would anyone lie about being abused? My ex gave me several black eyes & ended up breaking my nose, not to mention all the various bruises & hand prints left on my arms & legs. This is seriously disgusting & I am not coming back to read more of this crap. I’ve said my 2 cents & thats that

  44. CC says:

    @Birdie…where in any of my comments I said take it like a man…please highlight that for me…

    @Alex…how long ago was the Larry interview (3 months ago) and his album drop Dec. 15 so what’s your point…

  45. Jeri says:

    MY GOD. People are nuts!

  46. Gina says:


    I guess we all need to learn to agree with Firestarter and Zarah or your opinion doesnt count.

    I wont post again. Be happy.

  47. Jeane says:

    “If a woman wants to hit like a man..”

    Gina, it is physically impossible for a woman to hit like a man. Unless she is some kind of bodybuilder, a woman hits like a woman and can only take a beating like a woman.

    If a 10 year old boy would come up to me and smack me, is it ok for me to repeatedly punch him, kick him and strangle him until he is unconscious?
    Hey, if you wanna hit like an adult, take it like an adult!

  48. Jeane says:

    By the way, Gina, I am not saying that your opinion doesn’t count. I’m just pointing out that your argument is not valid, re- see above post.

    It is entirely possible that Rihanna hit him first. She’s no saint I’m sure. Even so, unless she had some kind of weapon she would never be able to cause Chris Brown any kind of serious damage.

  49. Zarah says:

    Gina, I hope you keep to your word and refrain from posting on this topic again. Simply because we a society have spent YEARS trying to overcome this mentality that abused women deserved what they got. Abuse is never okay, no matter the provocation, no matter the situation. In an ideal world, women would walk away but that doesn’t happen and all too often it takes repeated advice and reassurance before an abused woman has the courage to get out of a violent relationship. And here you are spewing out this nonsense about women acting like men deserve to get hit and what not.

    It’s not helpful, it’s not useful and quite frankly it’s entirely disturbing. I will never understand how some women can think like you do. Never.

  50. Firestarter says:

    @Gina- Aww well boo hoo Gina. Just because you have failed to convert us into Chris Brown loving fans and also failed at your insults (all of us, who were lying about being abused deserving what we got) don’t go away mad!

    Funny how when someone is proven wrong, they run off.

    I could care less who argrees with me or not. I do know that on this issue, I am 100% correct in saying that a man should never hit a woman, and that if it comes to that then the man should leave the situation.

    Yeah, I know, it is wrong to encourage people to use their heads instead of their fists to solve problems! I am such an ignorant bully! I do not think I was the one accusing people on this thread of lying about their experiences with domestic violence, nor was I rude or hateful enough to tell people that they deserved it. That was you my dear, and if your feelings are hurt because I didn’t back down, well thank your own logic for that. According to you, no one should back down from a fight!

  51. Gina says:

    ZARAH – STFU..you just want to keep it going and p*ss me off. I said I wasnt going to post and I wont, but you need to STFU cause you are ignorant and if I was dating you, I would have done punched you out!!!

  52. gg says:

    Gina, you are way more damaged from your abuse than you realize. I do hope you seek help. Your comments are frightening. You need to learn to respect yourself, and your fellow women, girl.

    and edit: While I was typing this — here she comes again. Gina you just flipping proved my point. You’re still coming back here and attacking. Speak to a therapist and learn to meditate or something. You have anger issues!

  53. Firestarter says:

    Oops I had a typo- agrees! Maybe Gina can point out my bad now! : )

  54. magpie says:

    Wow is this what normal women do is gang up on someone. Nice.

  55. gg says:

    Wow, can you actually be that dense? How about the issues? You think it’s correct to wale on somebody who hits you, too? Do they deserve a beatdown?

    Take off the minnie mouse ears, magpie.

  56. birdie says:

    @ CC … “how these girls are fighting these boys like its ok”

    What does that mean? It is an unclear statement. But sorry to put you in the same category as Gina.

    @ Gina. Grow up! Its insane to be threatening strangers over the internet! Post # 51 explains why you are a Chris Brown apologist to all of us. You are clearly a violent person.

    That is all.

  57. magpie says:

    WOW I dont belong here, you people are just plain mean.

  58. Firestarter says:

    @Magpie- Ganging up? So no one here is supposed to question anothers comments or defend themselves against personal attacks?

    I think it is reprehensible when someone says something to the effect “Well for not fighting back, you deserved to be beat” and also calls those of us that have revealed something very personal about ourselves, liars.

    I have been attacked by groups many times on here for my outspoken viewpoints on issues and I do not cry about it, nor do I expect anyone to defend me.

    I question anyone who thinks that violence in any form is okay. Where is the outrage at the fact that beating a woman is acceptable? Where is the outrage at the comments made to other posters and her insistance that we deserved what we got?

    No one ganged up on anyone. It so happens that many people disagreed with her comments, and called her out on her posts. It wasn’t an insider conspiracy. Jeez!

  59. gg says:

    methinks “magpie” is “gina”.

  60. bertie says:

    @firestarter – violence begets violence, um yeah. so maybe she is being kinda quiet because she had a hand. in many reports she is slapping him first and such. i am not saying she deserved it but women can not put their hands on other adults and them hide behind being a woman.

  61. gg says:

    I think everybody is on the same page here on that issue. Beating on people is wrong.

  62. Firestarter says:

    @Bertie- Take up for Chris Brown and the old “Well, if she hit him, he has a right to hit her” theory.

    I do not care who started it, there is NEVER an excuse for men to beat up women. NEVER! I will say it again, and with caps: A REAL MAN DOES NOT HIT WOMEN, A REAL MAN WALKS AWAY FROM HER AND A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ARGUMENTS ESCALATE INTO VIOLENCE. Period, end of story.

    If you want to live in a world where people think with their fists and not their head, that is your choice. I choose to live by the rule that civilized human beings do not beat teh crap out of each other. Tell me I am wrong all you want, but nothing will make me change my mind that men should never hit women. If someone drives you to that much anger, you shouldn’t be with them. If you cannot control yourself and your temper, you have no business being in a relationship.

    Domestic violence isn’t about defending oneself, it is about control through force and intimidation. It is about humiliation and destroying someone’s self esteem and self worth. It is about making a person feel weak, defenseless and helpless. It is about instilling fear in someone weaker than yourself. If you don’t get that, then I feel sorry for anyone who fails to see that, and the things wrong with that.

    I am now done with this topic because it shocks me how people think that beating the crap out of each other is perfectly acceptable.

    I certainly hope none of you have to go through what several people on this thread have had to go through. No woman “ASKS” FOR IT, and it sickens me that people even think that way. Attack me all you want to, but honestly, I have been attacked by someone a lot more skilled than those who have mocked me on here today.


  63. Moore says:

    “I have raised my son to NEVER EVER hit a woman, unless that woman wants to act like a man. Then “game on”. ”

    Right. So if the girl looks at your son in a way he thinks is ‘like a man’ then he can beat her down? Game on? He can just decide that cause from the above it sounds like she doesn’t even have to put a finger on him for him to justify his beating her down.
    Having been in an abusive relationship, I would think the above statement would be a complete contradiction for you. Violence breeds violence but you have the ability to turn that around with your children.

  64. gg says:

    I see people on some reality tv shows and it is really surprising how low they can get, very quickly. Women threatening to beat each other after a few words? New alltime low. Moronic behavior.

    Is “acting ghetto” now the acceptable norm? I hope not. I’m movin out to the country if that’s the damn case because I was raised better than that.


  65. Z says:

    Wow this is such a mess on this internet, there are 2 sides to each story and I like rihanna and all but girlfriend have been wildling out over couple of months, I think in my opinion she is going to self desturct.

    I hope I am wrong about that (I agree with Gina with she said), because listen I agree with you men should not hit a woman, but look at here, she said nothing all this months about being abuse but you can see her partying and dress a little wild at fashion show.

    In my opinion she might be happy that everyone on her side and living it up like a multiplatium Music star. But you guys are going to think what ever the media tell you because your brain wash.

    I am 25 years old female, and like mj said all those years before you can’t BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ.

    So I believe one day THE TRUE IS GOING TO COME OUT, BECAUSE RIHANNA (Who happen to be my favorite artist right now)IS GETTING TOO BIG HEADED AND THNIK that she going to play this woo is me drama, I am not feeling this right now.

    She mess up someone else career who I feel bad for because they are both young and starting out there career on a good note and (GINA) I and my nana had the same discuss ealier today about this situation. I see it all crashing and burn for riri because she think that because she is who she is, is everyone is going to be by all her side all the time (I still want her to succeed no matter what) because you have to take a look and really think about how you do, say things in life and she is just 21 years old because things come back to hunt people in the end.

  66. gg says:

    You’re missing the whole point. IT DOES NOT MATTER. You’re obviously just a Chris Brown fan trolling for Rhihanna supporting stories so you can pledge again your undying love to a guy who almost killed his girlfriend because of a stupid argument over jealousy, and your obvious jealousy of this woman is ridiculous.

    Again, IT DOES NOT MATTER who hit first. It does not matter that she is speaking out now. Maybe she’s now ready TO speak out, so what? She wants to go out and party, so what? He wants to go out and be photographed wearing a douchey necklace that he had made for himself that says “OOPS!” to make light of the situation, yeah that makes him look pretty damn guilty and betrays his feelings of not giving a flip that he almost killed the woman he supposedly loved, very violently, I might add.

  67. ajakana89 says:

    Seeing and reading other peoples comments I just had to make a post here some of you are just plain blind I been abused for 3 years who ever says just get out it is not as easy as it sounds I am only 19 years old I got abused when I was 15 by a guy who was not even my boyfriend just using me for sex but I didn’t know it at that time I was young and was not raised or taught anything about men so I had to learn the hard way on my own all my life I have bene abused I been stabbed shot raped just about anything any kind of abused from a man here’s the problem I have with rihanna it is not because I do not like her but if a woman like myself has been abused and been through so much BS from men don’t you people think for a second that it would really have a bad impact on her she would be so afriad of men like me and now when I look back on my life I honestly will say I hate men and think they are all the same this doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian because I’m not but it means I’ve never been treated with respect or loved by a man ever in my life and still getting heart broken

    You people can’t just get mad at gina for what she is saying and misunderstood her she is simply saying she does not care how big or small the man is if he puts his hands on her she is going to hit him back and that lets him know you are not the one to be abused I don’t care if he bigger than you grab a knife from the kitchen and cut his dick off that will teach him a lesson yes I said it you chop off his dick and make sure he never be able to use it again you should have enough faith in yourselfs to at least give yourself the time to get away and know there is a way to get out I am not blaming everything on women but it seems like we look for love and the guy we meet we fall head over heels for them so fast until we get a reality check but some of us women don’t care and think the man will change just because that’s what he said

    Look at MJ they accused him of doing lots of things and everyone called him a child molestor then when he died everybody starts crying and shit if people are going to support rihanna then I honestly can say your being fooled she is not the only woman that gets abused women are getting hit right now and some women have died already just because she is a celebrity does not mean she is some kind of innocent sweet girl who should get all the attention and people sworm around her like bees and shit she is a regular human being like the rest of us the only thing is she has money that’s it I don’t wanna hear another word from her because I think she is a liar if you ask me I think she was very controlling jealous and stuck up now she wants to party I’m sorry but like I said just because she got hit everyone should not have ran to her side when domestic violence was going on back in the bible days it is not the end of the world because she got hit and she is no more special than woman who are already in abusive relationships cause like I said this has bene going on for a long ass time and nobody has done nothing about it or to change it

    And to the person who said call the cops listen sweet heart no offense but the cops are full of shit too I’ve seen many cases where women get abused by their partner and go to the cops seeking order of protection, restraining orders,telling the cops what happened and cops have done barely anything to help them but I realize once a woman shoots a guy or kills him because her partner kept on abused her and she couldent take it no more so she got him back in some kind of way I realize that cops arrest women but they don’t arrest the man if they would do something about it instead of sitting around thinking the woman is lying some of us would not be going through this I rest my case