Christina Oxenberg: Duchess Meghan went through ‘a hellish kind of hazing’

One of the bizarre new talking points in recent months is that the Duchess of Sussex’s treatment at the hands of the British press and royal family was nothing more than a “royal hazing.” As in, every girlfriend or wife of a prince faces a hazing process where the British tabloids make fun of you and everyone in Windsor-world trashes you too. While I don’t doubt that “royal hazing” exists and that several women have walked that particular gauntlet, I truly don’t think that was what Meghan went through. I think to refer to Meghan’s treatment as “hazing” minimizes the very real trauma she’s suffered for years, plus it draws some kind of false equivalency between “Kate being called Waity” and “Windsors telling Harry not to marry Meghan because their children’s skin would be too dark.” I bring this up because Christina Oxenberg – society writer and third cousin to King Charles III – has given an exclusive interview to the NY Post about how Meghan is treated versus how the other married-in women are treated. Some highlights:

The royal hazing: The British royals have a long history of hazing newcomers — particularly women who are dating family members — and only those who are “tough as nails” tend to survive, said a cousin of King Charles III. “To Meghan Markle, I say, ‘What you are going through is a hellish kind of hazing,’” said Christina Oxenberg, a descendant of Serbian royalty who counts King Charles III as a third cousin. “If she can just hang in there, someone else will come along who can take the heat. Nobody gets a pass.” Including, she added, Kate Middleton.

They hazed Kate: Oxenberg, who has lived among the British royals most of her life, recalled the snobbery once whispered behind the new Princess of Wales’ back. When Prince William, now the heir to the throne, was dating Middleton before their 2011 marriage, the royal family thought it pretty funny that the British press labeled her “Kate Middle Class,” Oxenberg said. According to the Express, Camilla — now the queen consort — allegedly referred to Middleton’s parents, Carole and Michael, as “Meet the Fockers.” “They thought it was all very funny — Kate Middle Class and Sarah Ferguson and Koo Stark,” Oxenberg said. “They meant no disrespect; after all, she is the future queen of England.”

Wait what?? Oxenberg herself admitted she was a former confidante of British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell, who is appealing a 20-year sentence following her conviction for helping to procure young women and girls for Epstein.

More hazing: Among the other now-royals who received their share of hazing, Oxenberg said, was Princess Michael of Kent, née Marie Christine von Reibnitz, a baroness of Czech-German lineage. When Prince Michael of Kent, a first cousin of Queen Elizabeth II, married von Reibnitz in 1978, British royals delighted in giving her a hard time, Oxenberg told The Post. “She was treated the same way Meghan [has been] treated — with this mocking and lack of respect,” she said. “We always used to mock her because she kept referring to the royals as ‘delicious cousins.’ It [the hazing] was all done out of habit and not full of hatred and violent plotting. I was a witness.”

Oxenberg does think Meghan has had it worse: With Meghan, the hazing has been particularly brutal, according to Oxenberg. “They are tough, they are tough on foreigners,” she said. “It’s not about your skin color, it’s about being a foreigner.”

Treasonous: Still, she called Meghan’s treatment by both the British press — which is analyzing her every move, especially during Monday’s funeral of Queen Elizabeth — and some members of the royal family as nothing short of “treasonous.” “She is Harry’s choice of wife,” Oxenberg said. “By their own metrics they have called it a class system. They came up with that system, [by which] you have to respect Harry’s choice.”

[From Page Six]

Again, I don’t doubt that there is some kind of hazing process, although I doubt it’s being done as a conscious choice of “now we haze her.” It’s more of a knee-jerk ignorance and casual cruelty towards “outsiders.” Please remember, the royals would prefer to marry within their own family, and there’s a good dose of “why’d you have to fall for someone you’re not related to?” about this too. But, as I said, it was different with Meghan. One way in which it was significantly different is that it was the palaces publicly humiliating her and smearing her with lies. This wasn’t snickering behind her back at some garden party – it was a campaign of sustained public abuse with the intent to drive her either to suicide or divorce.

Besides all of that… even if it was *just* hazing, hazing still f–king sucks. This is supposed to be a family not a g–damn cult or fraternity.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Backgrid.

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127 Responses to “Christina Oxenberg: Duchess Meghan went through ‘a hellish kind of hazing’”

  1. C says:

    It is about skin color.
    And I was in England for the 2011 Royal Wedding. Everything about Kate was lauded. The tabs released special issues about her completely retconning her history with William. She’ll never ever get that kind of attention again and I’m sure it’s part of why she resents Meghan. I feel like most of the classist snubs were during the dating years and even then, the papers mostly were guilting William for keeping her waiting.

    • Chloe says:

      I am not going to say that kate had it easy as a royal girlfriend because she didn’t. But after she married in the firm DID protect her. Those articles about her being lazy actually had merit when you consider the low engagement numbers she had.

      Meghan was never protected, not as a girlfriend and not as a married in.

      Plus, meghan said it best: Rude and racist are not the same.

      • Seraphina says:

        Correct. This isn’t hazing. Hazing stops and then you are one of the group and protected. Meghan has never been protected and they never will.

      • Surly Gale says:

        Precisely, Meghan said it best: Rude and racist are not the same.
        The end.

      • SugarHere says:

        There’s much more at stake than just hazing, indeed. The darn WORD is being HIJACKED from its original meaning to dodge naming the reality, which is RACIAL PREJUDICE, RACIAL EXCLUSIVENESS and REJECTION: this is what this bi-racial woman went through.

        That Oxenberg woman is so intellectually dishonest. I do not regard hazing and hating on ethnic grounds, as synonymous. She tried to deflate the seriousness of the royal bullying towards Meghan by dismissing it as a widespread undiplomatic aristocratic passage rite when it boils down to racial hounding. Pure humbug.

      • BlueDot says:

        I remember the sugary press coverage Kate got when she married William. It was nauseating. The hazing didn’t begin until a bit later and only really stopped once Meghan came on the scene because they had a new target.

        In fairness, Meghan had a good run with the press to begin with too, if I remember correctly. It wasn’t until after the marriage that the press turned.

        It doesn’t make it ok but I do remember hearing years ago someone saying the press build you up to knock you down. That is exactly what they seem to do every time.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ SugarHerem well said!!! Though KHate did suffer slightly from the RR’s, it was not 1/1000th of what Meghan was forced to endure.

        Meghan was brutally vilified, multiple times, every single day, without any protection NOR the lack of acknowledging to which the depths they used. By their own vicious attacks, they created death threats against Meghan.

        As much as OC is trying to paint this picture that everyone experiences this ritualistic “hazing” by the RF, it doesn’t excuse any of what they did and have continued to do to Meghan.

      • kirk says:

        @Chloe – Correct, ‘rude’ and ‘racist are not the same. But “Those articles about her being lazy actually had merit when you consider the low engagement numbers she [kate] had” – if I understand this site correctly, her low engagement numbers have always been, and continue to be, a constant.
        @BlueDot – “In fairness, Meghan had a good run with the press to begin with too…” Uh no, recalling her “gang-scarred neighborhood” and straight out of Compton reference alluding to gang violence. As for “the press build you up to knock you down” DF will do that in the very same issue (apparently a specialty of Paul Dacre).

    • Pinkosaurus says:

      Intentionally misattributing the abuse to deny racism is just so desperate, although some of the press is realizing they can’t just pretend the abuse is not happening at all. Did you see Vogue even has an article stating the the insane level of abuse targeting Meghan is racism? Vogue is hardly a woke publication so that really shows the tide is shifting.

    • FeedMeChips says:

      “It’s hazing” sure has a real “it’s history, not hate” vibe to it.

  2. 809Matriarch says:

    Also, hazing is still ABUSE! People have died from hazing gone wrong. This “hazing” almost cost Meghan to die while carrying Archie, and indirectly contributed to the loss of another baby.

    • Brassy Rebel says:

      Absolutely! Most American universities have banned hazing by fraternities and sororities associated with them. There’s a reason for that.

    • MF says:

      Yes, I am dumbfounded by the ignorance and lack of self-awareness in this woman’s comments. It’s like, “But, even if this were just hazing, you do know hazing is still really bad… right?!”

    • DeniseMich says:

      I think it was hazing but when you join a sorority or fraternity you know it will happen.

      Megan Markle did not understand the rules which is extremely unfortunate and naive

      Last night I watched the Queen and was reminded of how poorly the monarchy acted when Diana died and how poorly they treated her in general.

      I am not sure this is racism because they would have treated anyone that was outside of their circle and went against the rules horribly.

      The monarchy are colonizers and think everyone is beneath them

      The press in the UK has been racist and xenophobic toward Megan and they will never stop

      • Lizzie Bathory says:

        There were multiple conversations in the family about “how dark” her child’s skin would be.

      • DeniseMich says:

        @Lizzie

        I come from a biracial, black, family. This was my cousins question when she married her husband who is white … would she be treated like the nanny when she took her possibly white blue eyed child out.

        Succinctly black people have that conversation too

      • Lizzie Bathory says:

        Obviously I can’t speak to your family dynamics, but I’d bet my life savings that conversation never happened in the Windsor family until Meghan arrived. There’s also the lovely Princess Michael of Kent, who wore a blackamoor brooch to welcome Meghan to a family event (the same delightful cousin who named her two black sheep Venus & Serena). The royal households are exempted from diversity hiring requirements. KP won’t even release their diversity figures. These folks put out press statements to defend Kate’s use of wiglets but were silent when Meghan’s child was compared to a chimp. They’re a dysfunctional family at the helm of a white supremacist institution.

        Racism was just the cherry on top of the sh*t sundae Meghan was served when she married in.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Lizzie Bathory, yes. Yet we never hear a peep about how intrinsically racist is wound into the tapestry of the BRF. All while still ruling over millions of POC, as well as the racism that Brit’s who are POC as well face each and every day.

      • Debbie says:

        They would have treated anyone who “went against the rules” horribly?

        What rules did Meghan go against? Did she flash people her @ss during a royal tour? Give me a break.

      • SugarHere says:

        @DeniseMich: Your inconsistent comment is striking a nerve on my end.

        1- “I am not sure this is racism.”
        2- “The monarchy are colonizers”
        3- “The press in the UK has been racist”

        Can’t you see the inner contradiction between your statement 1 and the other 2? There’s no middle ground here: either you acknowledge that the colonizer mindset that is deeply ingrained in the Royal Family’s traditions partakes of a racist ideology that has permeated over time every section of society, including the media, or you firmly believe Meghan endured a mild form of bullying due to her limited understanding of the protocol and specific upper caste codes. But you cannot have it both ways. Which one is it?

        Your analogy with the Diana situation is totally irrelevant: LADY Diana Spencer was born and raised an aristocrat and was therefore familiar, not to say knowledgeable as regard to the Royal Family code of conduct. They started treating her poorly when Charles realized she was dearly loved both in England and overseas, and that the crowd on his side of the street were complaining not being on the opposite sidewalk to shake Diana’s hand rather than his. Diana was hazed and ostracized out of jealousy, for outshining the heir.

        Meghan’s case is different: she didn’t stand a chance from the start. Being divorced, being an actress and being American were minor inconvenients compared to the stigma of being born to a black woman. So if you’re going to conflate two very distinct realities, may I suggest you be unapologetically straightforward and stop pussyfooting around the issue. Minimizing racism by conveniently rebranding it is not an option.

      • Nic919 says:

        White people asking about the potential skin colour of a baby in a mixed race relationship is racist. Maybe it is excusable if non white people are asking that question, but if you are white you never ever ask that. The Windsors were never in a position to ask that and pretend it was coming from a place of curiosity. They were concerned with how dark the baby would be. That’s racist the end.

  3. Becks1 says:

    So the defense is that they were just being mean to her until the next married-in came along? What, until James got married? because they sure didn’t treat Jack or Edo like they treated Meghan.

    As Meghan said in the interview, rude and racist are not the same thing. Kate being “hazed” and being called Waity Katie or her family being made fun of for being middle class was rude, and classist, and snobbish. It was not racist.

    • ML says:

      You said this better @Becks1.

      • Noki says:

        Thats a good point! There was duchess of pork,waity katy but the men never got any negative attention. Edo marries in with a child imagine if any royal woman especially a woc entered with a kid already.

    • Cessily says:

      It is racism pure and simple, they hide behind the fact that she is American. I’m really tired of all these excuses they throw out there.

    • molly says:

      So they were racist AND assholes? Cool.

      This isn’t the solid defense she thinks it is.

    • Lizzie says:

      KKKate really WAS a Waity and IS lazy. Camila IS a w—- who slept with pc his whole marriage. That ‘hazing’ had quite a bit of truth in it. Meghan was smeared with racism, lies coming from the palace (bullying, kkkate crying) and staff bragging how they insulted her. This is not the same. They go after the brightest stars but Meghan outshines them all. They leave the York’s husbands and Sophie alone because they are all a snoozes and no one cares.

      • kirk says:

        “They leave the York’s husbands and Sophie alone because…”
        Because UK misogyny is alive and well.
        Also Sophie has mostly been left alone after she had to give up her PR job when she tried to play footsy with the fake sheik; she’s flown low since.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      Completely agree. Rude and racist are not the same thing. There are some similar elements, because the rudeness stems from the royals (probably insecure in their lack of intelligence, or true accomplishments) have to constantly remind themselves and others “we are better than you because of our birth” — but that gets amplified a thousand times when you add race to the mix. It’s one thing to want to reinforce your superiority over another white person, but that becomes a compulsion/obsession when you need to reinforce your superiority over a person of color. It makes something hurtful into something hateful. The royals joined in the tabloid’s abuse (or facilitated it?) against a woman of color. Hopefully society will never forget nor forgive that.

    • Nic919 says:

      Kate was never hazed. While some tabloids made comments about the class of her family, they were also questioning her work ethic, which has proven to be non existent.

      And the Middletons were tagging on for freebies because of Kate’s association with William while dating. So that part wasn’t wrong either.

      Basically every merching accusation they made about Meghan was projection from what the Middletons actually did.

    • NemesisPuff says:

      lol, exactly; what kind of defense is this? Does “hazing” mean something different in the UK? Has it only ever had a light‐hearted aristo‐prankster vibe to it that is both so ubiquitous culturally that it’s so ridiculous that Meghan and others, globally, just haven’t understood it for what it is nor the impermanence of it, yet somehow it’s ALSO not as well‐known a Briticism as “snogging”, “fanny” and the like that the concept needs whole articles to explain its purpose in detail 2+ years after it would have been relevant to address?

      WTF is wrong with the Royal PR team? What is their average age, really? I truly don’t mean this to be ageist (unless you’re an older monarchist who refuses to engage with the modern world), but no one under 40 grew up in the heyday of the Queen, and the nonsense reasoning they’ve been throwing out for the active abuse of Meghan since 2017 sounds like the nonsense that comes from a group that had been up the queen’s arse and sniffing around since what, the 50s? 60s? when she decided the Windsors would define modern royalty by taking all the perks of celebrity with none of the responsibility of fame—as if it was *her* choice.

      So all of this “no no no, we don’t like her because she’s AMERICAN”, “no no no, she didn’t pass our necessary and ethical HAZING filter” bullshart naturally spurts from their mouths because in their frame of reference, those are completely sane reasons to harass someone.

      Excuse me, Men in Grey, I’m assuming you’ve scuttled out of the Queen’s coffin at some point this week: welcome to 2022. Globalisation is in full swing, news isn’t relegated to your choice of print media or paid‐off journalists, you can’t hide bad photoshop because everyone edits photos all day long, and no one’s interested in what the BRF has to say about fog or wars anymore. Sorry about it—survival of the fittest still applies to monarchies and it looks like you guys don’t even know what Kegels are.

      • Sigmund says:

        Yeah, at least in the US, hazing has a really negative connotation because it’s been in the news as the cause of deaths. So this “defense” is pretty questionable from that angle.

        Also… yeah, this was racism, pure and simple. The idea that this was normal treatment has been debunked. If it was typical, Harry would have known to expect it, which he didn’t.

  4. ML says:

    CO must have had a really effed up life. She does sense some nuance between Meghan’s treatment and that of the others, but she does not get it. In what world is hazing (cruelty) okay and you just need to suck it up because the next newbie’s turn will come and then they’ll stop hazing you?!

    • JaneBee says:

      @ML I’ve followed CO on Insta for a couple of years.

      I will give her points for going for Ghislaine Maxwell by the throat during the trial. No holds barred – published an ebook casting Maxwell in a very bad light.

      But, I cannot help but think that this is CO doing her best to get in Charles’ good books. She moved to Serbia a few years ago – I think because she was broke – so she’s no doubt hoping that Charles will help her out.

      Her own family and upbringing was crazy.

    • Lizzie Bathory says:

      Christina Oxenberg has had an odd life. She’s one of those folks who’s related to royalty but bounces around in relative poverty nonetheless. She survives by selling stories based on her connections, including to Ghislaine Maxwell, who she claims to have disliked but (as far as I can tell) never discussed until Ghislaine’s crimes were exposed.

  5. Midnight@theOasis says:

    So now that the whole world has witnessed Harry and Meghan ‘s mistreatment these past two weeks, the narrative is shifting to this is just part of a hazing process? So people don’t believe what you’ve seen/heard, that’s not really what’s going on. Again it’s cause she’s American and not because she’s biracial. And yet, the Royals still need to be seen as popular in the U.S. Make it make sense.

  6. Colby says:

    Her blackness and Americanness made it especially bad. We know about the racism, but I think Americans really under estimate the anti-American thread that runs through Britain specifically.

    • C says:

      Really? I think people overestimate it. I was an American there for school and worked alongside some toffs in heritage work and nobody had an issue with me. Granted, maybe it was because I wasn’t trying to marry one of their sons, but I never heard any cracks, nothing.

      • goofpuff says:

        You “knew your place” so they left you alone. If you had done anything they deemed not acceptable then the claws would come out.

      • Concern Fae says:

        Because the Brits don’t say that shit to your face. They just trash talk you behind your back. You weren’t famous so it never made the papers and you never found out.

        I think that’s what really freaked Meghan out. That she’d do an event, everyone was nice to her, she thought it went well. Next day in the paper there would be headlines quoting “sources” who were there saying that she effed up, was horrible and rude, disrespectful, wore ugly clothes, and so on. Enough to make anyone squirrelly.

        One thing Oxenberg does get right is that discussions of racism usually ignore how terrible white people can be to each other. White kids bully each other to suicide! As someone who has lived and worked in both all white and white minority environments. The people who are racist tend to suck when they are only around white people as well. It’s just that there is a huge social pressure to be someone who “works well with others” which in practice means keeping your mouth shut. If we actually want to do anything about racism, it will mean not putting up with bullies and assholes in all white spaces.

      • C says:

        Not sure what “knowing my place” meant. We traded banter a lot. But I never felt it was disrespectful.
        There were some times they tried to shut me down for not knowing things about British culture (they were wrong about that and learned quickly). But it was never anti-American specifically.
        They absolutely will say things to your face. This isn’t like Japan or another country where nothing is ever said up front. It depends on the scenario (if you cut in line in a queue they probably won’t, but if they know you they will).
        One of those scenarios is that the Royal family is not like the rest of the population. I am not sure why people don’t say this louder. They feed on themselves in a way normal people don’t and feed their own to the press.
        White children bullying other white children or other instances of discord between white people is really just not even the same for many reasons. I get your overall point but it’s not the same as the elements in the discussion of what happened and is happening to Meghan.

      • C says:

        Anyway, my overall point is this: the idea of her being unacceptable because she was American is just not true, or if it was, I would imagine made up a very small minority. It was the racism that was the biggest part. A lot of Brits don’t want to accept this.

      • ElleV says:

        @concern fae is right, there’s a dynamic here that can be difficult for outsiders to grasp

        people appearing not to have an issue can be a sign you’re disliked or will never be accepted, while hazing to your face can be part of a process of “claiming you,” depending on how you respond (not saying this is right, just that it’s a thing)

        i’d argue the criticism of meghan started this way, but it turned nasty really quickly when it was clear that harry didn’t want to play that game, with brits acting like spurned lovers and shifting to hating on meghan as a way of reinforce their “in group” bonds

        add to that layers of racism, classism, anti-American sentiment, and the British urge to cut down tall poppies and the whole thing metastasized

        no one is saying racism isn’t a massive factor here, just that there are a lot of toxic dynamics at play here that have made this particularly bad

    • Sarah says:

      Not just anti-Americanism but xenophobia in general. It was about race AND it was about her being “foreign”.

      • C says:

        In my experience the Brits are famous for xenophobia and have been for centuries, but the xenophobia is much less marked with Americans. There is a lot of *condescension* but not outright opposition that you find with their attitudes towards other nations. But that’s me.

      • fishface says:

        This is so true. I have a British passport, and am English speaking but I grew up in the ‘colonies’ and when I worked in the UK I got a lot of sh1t from my colleagues and friends. And I didn’t have to deal with racism. But I saw how others were affected and treated. Xenophobia among the Brits is a national past time.

    • Nivz says:

      Agreed. I lived in the UK for a few years as a grad student from a Commonwealth country, and then working as an analyst. Whether or not I was aware of anti foreignness towards me, I was 100% aware of the sneering derision shown towards Americans. The standard trope was of the loud, gauche, culture-deprived tourist (basically, what you would recognise today as a Maga.) There was no nuance, Americans were considered a monolithic group.

      Funnily, 10 years on, I’m now an American citizen, and obviously I think the US and the people are pretty great (just not the Magas).

    • Susan says:

      I recognize this comment is the experience of literally one person, but my niece spent a semester abroad in Britain and her experiences with anti-American-ness surprised me. She said London was great, people were friendly and nice no hatred whatsoever but when she did her time in Oxford she *hated it with a passion.* Allegedly people would say really mean things to her like, “why aren’t you fat, you are an American,” and really hurtful things to a naive college girl. Again experience of one and I recognize the limitations, but I wonder if the anti-American sentiment is geographic, kinda like politics in America right now (red state/blue state) etc.

    • Sms says:

      I lived I. The UK for two years- back when the Wales and York marriages were coming apart- and I can still remember the anti-Americanism that was rampant. I’m a dual national so I passed as quasi European sometimes but there’s a lot of contempt for the US there. I also remember the papers being absolutely vicious to the royals, especially to Fergie.

  7. fineskylark says:

    I guess I don’t understand what funny is at all; none of this is funny, even the Waity stuff. It’s all just cruel.

    • C says:

      It is. I mean, these are the same people that hacked William’s and Kate’s phones (that specific paper is defunct but not the overall News Corp UK which has the same tactics as the Daily Mail). So it boggles my mind why William went to bat for them in the Mail Case.

      • Jais says:

        Well they hacked Harry and Chelsy too. The response of each brother has been significant. Harry is suing, the sun I believe for the phone tapping or is it the old news of the world?, while William chose to make deals and side with the tabloids, despite the phone hacking. It’s a choice.

      • CherHorowitz says:

        In response to your comment about it boggling your mind that William does deals with those same tabloids when harry doesnt – i think not only is it a display of the differences in their characters, but more importantly clearly just goes to show that Harry has no skeletons left and William does. Harry isn’t scared of something being exposed because there’s nothing to expose, whereas William has his balls in the Mail’s vice and they can tighten it whenever they want.

    • A says:

      The classism directed towards Waity in particular is horrifying bc of where it’s coming from. This is the British Royal Family. No one was under any illusions about the continued existence of the class system in Britain, but for it to be known that members of the royal family openly and gleefully engage in perpetuating that classism, that they took DELIGHT in this, that they laughed about the classism directed towards Kate in the press, that they saw that as “harmless good fun”. That’s on a whole other level, at least for me.

  8. LovelyRose says:

    Omg, hazing isn’t cool either, it’s a trashy, shitty way to make people feel “less than” you, but what happened and is happening to Meghan is way worse and way more than that!

  9. girl_ninja says:

    “This is supposed to be a family not a g–damn cult or fraternity.” THIS. But to be honest, I don’t think of those people as an family. They are indeed a cult/fraternity and they a useless one ta boot. It wasn’t hazing, this was straight up racism and I am glad that Meghan is away from them.

  10. lurkerelephan says:

    Does she think it sounds better to say “It’s because she’s a foreigner, not because of her skin color.” It IS about her skin color and now she’s saying they are xenophobic as well as racist. Jeez Louise, they need to shut up.

    • Emily says:

      Yeah, as a foreigner living in the UK they can feck off with that.

      Also, if the royals are supposed to be bringing in tourism maybe they should stop bragging about their xenophobia.

    • Flowerlake says:

      Maybe the rest of the world should stop being so kind to accomedate British people when they travel or even live abroad without speaking the local language.

      No more English for those spoiled people. They will have to learn a second language now, just like lots of people in other countries are forced to learn theirs.
      British people with a Meghan shirt on get exempted and a “hello, can I help you?”

  11. Noki says:

    This is the most disgusting smear and bullying campaign we have seen in recent history. Its just shocking! The most recent madness i can think of is probably Britney and for the UK maybe Jade Goody(arguably deserved) but that was childs play compared to this.

  12. Quinn says:

    Try as they might, the ship sailed long ago on when the British royal family should have shut down the media attacks on Meghan. I don’t claim to know Meghan or Harry personally but nothing I’ve seen of Meghan’s public life shows she would be someone who would watch another person be treated abominably without speaking up in their defence.

    The time the British royal family should have stopped this abuse is when the crying story came out. Meghan was villified during her entire time there.
    No one can point to any instance where the British royal family defended Meghan. Instead, they happily aided and sanctioned the abuse. This has led to a ricochet effect where the muted critics voices are much louder against this institution and the deference is gone.

    Now it looks like they are trying to minimize and gaslight her and the public on what she went through.

    These past 10 days, the nastiness of the British royal family towards Meghan and Harry was on display for all the world to see.

    • Debbie says:

      Your comment is especially good because it’s not often mentioned how the critics’ voices are amplified to the point where some people are getting rich on YouTube or writing books maligning Meghan, and those who would want to defend her on social media are hounded or have their comments deleted all to serve the hostile narrative. The BRF could have done a lot to balance that daily vitriol if they had defended Meghan one half as much as they defended the lazy one, the one who slept with Diana’s husband or, you know, Andrew.

    • Nic919 says:

      The crying story was not shut down because it was kate who provided it. The tabloids knew this which is why they spread it far and wide.

  13. Sass says:

    Where could I find a chronological run down of all the crap that happened to Megan; the smearing, the throwing under the bus to deflect from Bill and Waity et al?
    I really want to pass some reading onto some of my family who have unfortunately been victim to the one-sided and racist media stories we have in Australia. (Eg news.com.au and the smh)

  14. Amy Bee says:

    Is this supposed to make the Royal Family look better? They’re just awful people and I suspect that Harry as the spare was a victim of that hazing all his life.

  15. Jane says:

    It is about skin color. It’s also about her having the NERVE to have her own opinions and want her own life. They can’t STAND that.

  16. lemontwist says:

    This “Oh we’re a-holes to *everyone* who…” defense is always so laughable to me, it’s been used in regards to the British media too.
    Like I get what they’re going for, that they’re essentially equal opportunity abusers and OF COURSE it’s has NOTHING to do with race. But honestly when you outright admit you knowingly act in a way that harms others, how does that lend you any credibility that you *wouldn’t* be racist on top of that?

  17. Veda says:

    Typical Brit response- this is all good fun! The lack of empathy of these people is staggering. Kate’s hazing only involved giving her nicknames- Waity Katie, Duchess Do Little etc,. which is a rude take on a factual position. Meghan’s hazing was outright character assassination, based on lies aimed at making her unlikable and an untouchable. This is cruelty and racism.

  18. ThatsNotOkay says:

    And that’s why one should respect Meghan more. Because she wouldn’t stand for this so-called “hazing” (English snobbery translation for “racism”), and would never allow it to happen to any other woman who followed her into the fold. Hate to break it to you: that makes her more aware, kinder, modern, and better than all of you non-Feminist, benefitting from your adjacency to the patriarchy white women.

    • Ciotog says:

      Yeah, the way hazing is supposed to work is that the hazers finally let you into the group and you’re so grateful that you go along. But they never let her in and she never accepted her treatment as the price of admission into the “fraternity.”

  19. Flowerlake says:

    Even just the regular “hazing” is childish af.

    What Meghan goes through is beyond that.

    It’s not like she hazed them for not being American or employable enough, so whotf do they think they are?

  20. Catherine says:

    I agree more of it is about her being American than many people realize.

    • goofpuff says:

      I think you are underestimating the racial undercurrent that is stronger than the American with the headlines they put out with the dog whistles. which they do not do for the other royal women. I wonder why that is.

    • ThatsNotOkay says:

      Then why the racism? One loses all credibility when one resorts to racism. Had they not resorted to racism and dog whistles and kept their criticisms to things related to Americanism or other stupid excuses, then perhaps their arguments, though stupid, might have been met with some level of consideration. But by resorting to racism, they nullify their entire argument and prove themselves to be worthless and no one anyone should ever validate or pay attention to. Bottom line, if one wants to level a justified criticism, one may never show one’s bigotry. Since they did, they will never be credible in the eyes of the world, ever again.

      • Concern Fae says:

        You have to realize that racists are racist because they think it is a positive and good thing to be racist. If you aren’t racist you are unclean and contaminated by weak thinking. Just take the way you look at the world and flip it.

    • MsIam says:

      Didn’t one of William and Harry’s best friends marry an American woman? Wasn’t the wedding in Kentucky? And if Harry had married let’s say Bill Gates daughter would she have been treated this way? Somehow I don’t think so. We are not talking about snubs and missed invites we are talking about character assassination and abuse.

      • Melissa says:

        A Kentucky wedding means the bride was from Horse Country. That’s an acceptable level of commoner. Remember, the Queen had friends in Kentucky Derby Country that she visited.

    • Pumpkin (Was Sofia) says:

      So xenophobia is better than racism? alright then

      Edit: maybe slightly better sure but I wouldn’t be so quick to say “actually it was more xenophobia towards americans!”. It’s not the strong defence people think it is.

  21. Amy Bee says:

    I guess one positive of this piece is that Oxenberg basically confirms that Meghan was the one being bullied in that family.

  22. Jp says:

    It is 2022, hazing is not acceptable.

  23. Jay says:

    Yeah, this sounds terrible? And advising Meghan that she just has to take the heat until, what, George gets married? WTF?

    However, this is partly what I’ve always suspected makes Kate so angry towards Meghan – she was looking forward to having someone else to heap criticism and racism upon, and instead Meg just up and escaped that hateful hellhole.

    Kate is probably worried the spotlight is going to swing back around to her, and she won’t have Meghan to kick around anymore, but also she’s probably sort of envious that Meghan had the self-respect and support to leave.

    Also, “why’d you have to fall for someone you’re not related to” 😂😂😂

  24. Over it says:

    I don’t doubt these people are classless rude , inbred asses , but what they did to Meghan was downright criminal. They abused , smeared and most importantly racially abuse the hell out of her. They tried all kinds of ways to remind her and people that because she is black, she will never ever be good enough to even breathe their air.
    As for cowmilla, go see a vet .

  25. aquarius64 says:

    Harry and Meghan received permission from the late queen to marry under the 2013 Succession to the Crown Act. Harry was fifth in line then as he is now. Don’t try to say Meghan wasn’t vetted before the queen signed off.

  26. Fredegunda says:

    “Everyone else suffered, so that means you need to suffer too!”

    “It’s so middle class to be kind/considerate/empathetic.”

    I can’t even with these people.

  27. Eurydice says:

    Hazing is a closed ritual, done by members of an organization in order to accept new members. It’s not done by the outside world, which has no interest in the organization. What CO is saying is that the BRF and the BM belong to the same fraternity. And the problem there is that the BM have interests other than just who gets accepted into the royal family, like turning a profit. And when we extend that to social media and the international press, then are we even talking about hazing anymore?

    Whatever they call it and whatever the original motivations, at this point it’s public torture of a human being for profit.

    • Lorelei says:

      Nailed it, Eurydice. There’s no end in sight for Meghan, and there isn’t an entire economy running on typical greek “hazing” like there is with M. Calling it hazing seriously diminishes what has been done to Meghan.

      It feels like this is a discussion about the behavior of middle-schoolers, FGS.

  28. Jaded says:

    It’s not hazing — it makes it sound like she’s pledging for an elite sorority and going through the usual meangirl sh*t to get her sorority pin. She went through suicide-provoking, racist, vitriolic treatment by both the BM and BRF. Big difference between being called Waity Katie and the “N” word.

  29. Nancy says:

    Hazing is simply another name for bullying. It is unacceptable behavior that should have legal consequences everywhere in the world. In Meghan’s case it is bullying with racist overtones which makes it doubly reprehensible.

  30. Brassy Rebel says:

    Calling verbal and emotional abuse “hazing” is itself abuse because it denies the real damage such abuse does to people (usually women). To be clear, no one who marries into the rf or any family should be subjected to such abuse (which is then shrugged off as hazing).

    But Meghan herself commented on the fact that there is a difference between rude and racist. Unfortunately, the royals are so self-obsessed and noxious that they manage to be both.

  31. Amie says:

    I thought this was the woman who was the Dynasty actress whose daughter got caught up in the NXIVM cult but that’s Catherine Oxenberg. Christina is her sister! I just read her Wiki, she used to be married to Cary Elwes’s brother which seems totally random. Celebrity/royalty is so inter-connected!

    As for this so-called hazing, it only seems to apply to women who marry into the BRF and not men so 1) that’s incredibly unfair and 2) super sexist. Did Mike Tindall, Edo (I can never remember his last name), and Jack Brooksbank have the same kind of hazing? I’m guessing not! Also Autumn Phillips always flew below the radar so I’m guessing she didn’t suffer too much? Or it was all behind the scenes. Her divorce with Peter Phillips barely made any waves. What Meghan faced wasn’t just hazing, it was a systematic teardown of her mental health and self, hoping to push her to abandon Harry or abandon her own life. Not at all the same thing (and hazing can also end in death as we’ve seen in colleges across the USA).

    • Well Wisher says:

      Autumn was not spared, and that started the initial attack on Peter, they sold the rights to photographs of their wedding to Hello, to offset their expenses.
      That was the first time I realised that the batshit crazy tabloid think that they owned the Queen and that they are the Queen.
      It continued by RIchard Kay during the divorce, to include the province and country.
      All he had to do is check with the British expats that live in her home province, but then it would have been real news.
      There is no way we can have that.

    • Brassy Rebel says:

      Tim Laurence was a naval officer when he married Anne. For some reason they all forgot to”haze” him. 🫤

      • N. says:

        Brassy Rebel: Yes! It definitely feels like misogyny is a huge part of this too – we should not leave it out. It’s intersectional. The royalists aren’t going to miss a nail head they can hammer and with Meghan, it’s a field day.

      • AmelieOriginal says:

        Mark Phillips also fathered a child with some woman in New Zealand (a daughter he has never met or had any involvement and denied was his for a long time) while he was still married to Anne (though I think by that point they were both openly having affairs). While I’m sure it was a big thing for awhile, it doesn’t seem to have had any lasting repercussions on him for being a deadbeat dad. The men in the BRF do get some criticism by the media (Charles was excoriated for his affair with Camilla but Camilla was treated way worse) but they are not treated the same way the women are.

    • Nic919 says:

      It’s amazing how Edo was not criticized despite having a very young baby when he started dating Beatrice. Meanwhile Meghan was attacked for a divorce that was years before.

  32. Well Wisher says:

    After four years of marriage, three pregnancies and two children, the need to haze continues?

  33. Kim says:

    As we have seen in fraternities in the US, hazing kills. That’s all I am going to say about this topic.

  34. Laura D says:

    Slightly O/T but it’s becoming more noticeable that AMERICA(N) is being eplaced with either foreign, foreigner or overseas. It really grated with me when KCIII talked about H&M living “overseas” and now this woman is saying foreigner. I “think” they’ve realised they scored an own goal by stating their dislike wasn’t because of Meghan’s colour but because she’s an American and are desperately trying to claw it back. Putting on my tin-foil tiara I’m guessing with the upcoming visit to Boston they’re trying to to bury that xenophobic slur. I know if I were American I’d be raising more than eyebrow at that insulting rationalisation for disliking someone.

    • Rnot says:

      It’s astonishing that so many people try to minimize by saying “oh no, we don’t hate her because of the color of her skin, we hate her because of her nationality” as if that’s somehow better. Xenophobia is not a lesser sin than racism. Hazing = bullying.

  35. Kimsan says:

    Even if if it was a hazing, the fact that it happens to every woman who enters that family is still incredibly misogynistic. It shouldn’t be happening to anyone for any reason. There’s a place for criticism but the idea that you’re just going to tear women down because it’s just what is done is terrible.

  36. Geegee says:

    FFS!!!!!!! Racism is not hazing!!!! It’s racism!!!!!

    • NemesisPuff says:

      THIS^^^^^

      Why is there so much Gumby cosplay here, bending every which way to bring up every other kind of slight to ride the coattails of the main effin point that this is RACISM.

      The writer doesn’t believe it’s hazing. She doesn’t care how many people believe her when she says it’s hazing. She’s just saying any other word that’s more “allowed” to say than the obvious Nono: RACISM. They’re RACIST. And the BRF doesn’t care to learn how to be LESS racist, they just know that’s not a good adjective to be right now, but they are not sweating it, really, because they know the general public, UK or beyond, isn’t going to storm their castles because of racism. They might lose the (now) non-white majority commonwealth countries over time, but they don’t value those countries’ opinions or global standings anyways! They’ll put up a “how dare you?!” stink over stolen jewels over full on countries noping out of this mess. That’s how little they think maintaining racist views matters, and the RR and BM certainly don’t care to hold them to account on ethics.

      All this detracting about white experiences in a white-majority, white-ruled country in a post about RACISM is white fragility peeking it’s head around the corner, asking if it can come out now. NO.

      White American xenophobia IS NOT THE SAME as ANY OTHER racialised American’s experience with xenophobia! Because when you are racialised, you do not need to open your mouth and share your accent to experience racist biases, especially in countries built on slavery, colonialism and all other forms of dehumanization.

      Sorry, but the need unracialised Americans have to feel looked down upon by the British in order to have something to feel personally outraged by is exhausting. Please keep it to likeminded circles or posts not discussing the effects of racism on people who, because of white supremacy, live it daily regardless of the country they’re currently in.

      I’ve also lived in and travelled the UK extensively pre- and post- BLM/MeToo/Meghan vs Kate’s monarchical introductions…if you’re white and blonde, you’re fine. Unless “fine” isn’t good enough for you and you expect every country to be immediately enamoured with you just because you came from America. Honestly, yeah, if you go on and on about the town outside Michigan you’re from as if everyone from Canada to Denmark should know where that is, and generally show that you come from a country that isn’t used to not being the centre of attention or being given the benefit of the doubt, it might be a bit of a culture shock for you. Asking you if you eat fries with every meal =/= assuming you’re the help when walking around Hyde Park around when school lets out. Can—can we see that?

  37. Merricat says:

    To describe what Meghan went through as “hazing” is an attempt to give the sadistic smear campaign a lightness that it does not deserve. Was it “hazing” to drive a pregnant woman to thoughts of suicide and then refuse her the help she asked for?
    There is no justification for what they did, which they know because they’ve tried everything they can think of and none of it makes them look good.

  38. Janice Hill says:

    Oxenburg has lived in America long enough to know that hazing is now illegal.

  39. Snuffles says:

    The more these people try to explain and justify themselves to the rest of the world, the worse they sound. And they are completely oblivious to that fact.

  40. Lizzie says:

    I think of Maria Shriver’s recent tween that she has never seen shaming work. I think shaming is a great deal of the bm goal however attacking Meghan is a cash cow for them. It will never end.

  41. lunchcoma says:

    I’m not sure what she thinks this accomplishes. First, no one is going to accept a white woman who’s the descendent of nobility’s opinion on what is or isn’t racist. She’s about the furthest thing from an expert I can imagine.

    Second, this hazing makes everyone involved sound terrible. She just reminded us that the British press has been unkind to many other women, and she confirmed that the family is interpersonally mean as well.

    Third, she reminded us that horrible racist Princess Michael of Kent exists and is a member of the family, one who’s now gone through her hazing and probably feels like she’s earned the right to haze others.

    Fourth, the think that the family hazed horrible racist Princess Michael of Kent about was her using an odd phrase that I can only assume is related to English not being her first language rather than the fact that she’s a horrible racist doesn’t speak all that well of their priorities.

    • nesi says:

      Princess Michael being a racist does not surprise me. Her dad was an officer in Hitler’s SS and she acknowledged that her dad served in the SS.

  42. sparrow says:

    You’d think that Kate, having been hazed herself supposedly, would have reached out to Meghan and helped her through it or tried to deflect it as much as she could. This article makes Kate seem without empathy and implicit.

    • Debbie says:

      First, I hardly think this CO woman is an authority on what is or is not racist conduct. So, I would personally hesitate to just accept her defining what Meghan went through for over 3 years as “hazing.” This just seems like someone piddling on my leg and then try to tell me it’s rain. T’isn’t. Oh, and it may make her feel better to claim that it was about bias against Americans because that’s a more acceptable form of prejudice, but I’m not about to be gaslighted today.

  43. PrincessK says:

    As it is still mourning period for the royals, I hope that we don’t see Kate larking about with Roger Federer during the Laver Cup.
    Kate will really have wanted the planned photo opportunities.

  44. QuiteContrary says:

    But “They meant no disrespect.” That sentence slayed me.

    The RF’s racist abuse toward Meghan wasn’t just disrespectful — it was entirely dismissive of her humanity. She was supposed to suck it up and just take the abuse from the media and the royals. Because why? Because they didn’t see Meghan as a person. They saw her as a commodity.
    And once she and Harry left for the United States, they’ve viewed everything she does — but especially her truth-telling about life in the royal family — as diminishing her value to the family, which was to be its mascot to the Commonwealth. So they continue to disrespect her and her children. They don’t understand why anyone objects to their mistreatment of her because, to them, she’s not important. They are monsters.
    And I’m so glad Harry and especially Meghan are back home, where they have friends and colleagues who deeply value their humanity and their work.

  45. A says:

    Where to even start with this sh-t. For starters, my jaw genuinely dropped when I read that the Royal Family thought it was FUNNY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) that the press called Kate, Kate “Middle Class”. Wow, haha, so f-cking funny isn’t it, just a spot of that old funny classism before breakfast to give the day a bit of pep, right?

    Like, it was bad enough when the Tatler article compared Carole Middleton to freaking Hyacinth Bucket. Bad enough that these people openly said the she was Not Quite Our Class, Darling. We’re finding out now that Camilla straight up compared her parents to Meet the Fockers?!?!?!?! And they thought that sort of casual cruelty directed towards Kate was FUNNY??? What an absolute bunch of f-cking assholes.

    And like, I want to make it 100% clear here that I am not saying any of this out of sympathy for Kate, or because I like Kate, or bc I am defending her or her family here. She threw her lot in with these clowns willingly years ago, she’s reaping what she’s sown as far as I’m concerned. It’s pretty clear that she essentially shares all the same values as them, including a deeply ingrained disrespect for others who she thinks rank beneath her in society. The classism she faces is her entry fee into the fold, and she’ s decided she’s okay with paying it. So I do not feel bad for her at all.

    I’m more just shocked by how freaking awful these people really are. And I’m angry because this is really what these people think of the middle class as a whole. These people really think everyone else who is not in their little crowd is beneath them, and fundamentally not worthy of respect or compassion. All this from a bunch of people who recycle bath water bc they don’t have the money to keep the taps running in their drafty, unheated country piles. Who think not vacuuming the dog hair off their couches is the epitome of aristocratic living. Who save the cut off crusts from sandwiches to fry up for breakfast the next morning.

    And for this broad to say that Princess Michael of Kent was treated the same as Meghan was by the royal family? Like, setting the laughable comparison aside for a moment, let’s just evaluate the situation here. What Christian Oxenberg is saying, then, is that the royal family “delighted” in mocking and disrespecting Meghan. They called her names, made fun of her family and where she was from. They thought the racism she faced from the British press was FUNNY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

    But it’s all okay!!!! Because it’s all just a joke, really!!!! They don’t mean any harm by it!!!!! Isn’t racism and classism and xenophobia and just flat out, miserable cruelty towards others just so HILARIOUS???? It’s not like laughing and dismissing any of those things reinforces systemic inequality in society or anything, right?? It’s just a JOKE, get over it!!!!!! /sarcasm

    Just…wow. I got nothing. This last week and a half has just been eyeopening and exhausting. But thank you to Christina Oxenberg for showing us proof as to why Meghan and Harry should never go back to be a part of this miserable family again. That’s at least one silver lining in all of this.

  46. Annalise says:

    @BLUEDOT- WHAT are you TALKING about???? Meghan did NOT have a “good run” with thd press when she and Harry were just dating!! I guess you forgot “Harry’s Girl Is (Almost) Straight Outta Compton”????? I remember hearing about that headline before I actually saw it, and I clearly remember NOT believing it was true. I truly thought that NO paper, or even a tabloid, could print something like that in the 21st century and not have its offices burned to the ground. But I live in America, so……

    • Annalise says:

      @BLUEDOT continued…..

      And to call the on and off, mildly bad press Kate would get after marrying Will “hazing”, is a JOKE. Kate faced NOTHING even remotely similar to what Meghan faced. To describe the two as experiencing something comparable to the other is beyond insulting.

  47. B says:

    Don’t you think the “we had to wait for her hair” was sort of a racist dig?

  48. Izzy says:

    And when frat or sorority chapters get busted for hazing, those chapters are almost always suspended or disbanded.

    Abolish the monarchy.

  49. Therese says:

    can’t talk your way out of what you acted your way into.

  50. LooseSeal says:

    So my takeaway here is that these people think they’re so cool and popular that it’s perfectly acceptable, and apparently necessary, to put people through months or years of abuse in order to gain access into their super awesome club, which appears to be made up of shallow (and super racist) fools who think it’s perfectly acceptable, and apparently necessary, to put people through months or years of abuse. Hard pass.

  51. JustBitchy says:

    CO’s daughter was in an awful cult. I would have expected a lot more compassion from her. Not glib bites. It was the NXIVM cult. https://people.com/crime/india-oxenberg-branded-nxivm-keith-raniere-allison-mack/

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