Rumer Willis is about to give birth to her first child with partner Derek Richard Thomas. This will be the first grandchild for Demi Moore, Bruce Willis and Emma Hemming Willis. And potentially the first boy as Rumer and Derek don’t know the sex yet. She’s been busy during her pregnancy. She gave a long interview to promote her capsule collection with NakedCashmere, something inspired from stealing her dad’s cashmere sweaters throughout her childhood. She’s also studying to be a doula, which is fascinating to me – to study being a birthing guide while about to go through it. But it’s left her pretty open-minded, which is great. Rumer said her plan is to do an unmedicated home birth just like her mother did. However, she’s open to changing that if anything suggests that she should.
She’s training to be a doula: I want to know everything. I have all the things. I’m reading all the books. I’m actually training to be a doula right now too. I’ve always been a bit of a birth junkie and I think it’s amazing. You can literally create a life from scratch. It’s such an incredible privilege and this wild thing that your body knows exactly what to do.
Her birth plan: I think it was always my plan to do it unmedicated. That’s how my mom did it, and I grew up knowing that. That was always just a part of what I wanted to create. But I think it’s so individual. The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far, during this transition to motherhood, is about surrender so ideally, I’m planning for a home birth, but if at any point someone was like, “It’s a little risky, or maybe not,” then I’d be like, cool, let’s adapt and change.
The whole family is excited: They’re so excited. It’s so fun to be bringing in the first grandkid in our family, especially because we’re such a huge group at this point. Because my youngest sister is 8, we haven’t had a little tiny baby in our family in a while. My sisters just keep saying, “I can’t wait to put their foot in my mouth, or just play with them.” I’m so grateful that I’m so close with my family that I get to rely on them for support that way.
She wants more kids: Oh, for sure. The more the merrier. I’m like, let’s go. I’m one of five sisters. Even though we’re from two separate litters, I can’t imagine not having siblings. We are so close. My sisters are my best friends. I can’t imagine not giving my kids that.
She’s aware of mom-shaming: I don’t know if it’s a fear necessarily, but I think there’s a lot of judgment. We live in a world where Instagram is a thing. The mom space is very opinionated. There’s a part of me that’s a little sad because I really want to be able to share my experience. I want there to be more conversation and more acceptability for all experiences to be had. But it feels like you’re coming in hot, and it’s really hard to navigate that sometimes when there’s already so much out there that’s [deemed] bad, that’s not.
I don’t really know about birth plans. I’m not against them, I just don’t know about them. My understanding is they are a way to allow the mother not only some control but prepare her for childbirth on her terms. So I think Rumer has the right idea, to have a plan but allow flexibility as the situation allows. Home births carry a certain amount of risk but if there is a trained birthing specialist present, they’ve accounted for that and call in emergency protocol as soon as it’s necessary. As for being unmedicated, women did it for centuries. Not me. I joked I wanted my epidural to go in at month six because too many of my friends were too far along to get one.
I love that the Moore-Willis-Hemmings are so close. Rumer mentioned her younger sisters “being from different litters” once, but other than that, she never differentiates them as anything other than her sisters. She constantly refers to all of them, including Emma, as a unit and sounds grateful for the love and support. This baby is going to be lavished in attention, lucky lil’ one. And they’re leaning on each other during Bruce’s illness. I’m sure most of you saw this birthday video. Warning, it’ll hit you right in the feels.
Pregnant Rumer Willis Shares Exclusive Bump Photos, Hopes Baby Has Bruce and Demi's 'Goofiness' pic.twitter.com/RNSS275Ilo
— People (@people) April 5, 2023
Photo credit: Cover Images and Instagram
I’m impressed that she’s training to be a doula, good for her!
I would be more impressed if she was training to be a midwife. If I was giving birth at home, I would want a midwife, not a doula.
Don’t get me wrong, I wish I had that strength but as for me, when I was asked if I was against any drugs during the birth I looked them in the nurses in the eyes and said: the stronger the better.
I felt like Trump with long winded sentence.
I’m with you! I’ve never fully understood this move. Yes, I guess there are cons to exposing your baby to such things, but have they really proven long-term detrimental effects? Idk, I don’t have kids, but it seems like punishing yourself just to be able to tell people you did it. And I’ve never been like that. I’m averse to pain
I caught hell for not going natural and always would say: God have us the intellect to discover pain killers and I will use them.
Getting pregnant, being pregnant, child birth and after wards are so life changing and can create risks for both mom and child. To each their own. The mom has to do what she is comfortable with.
Three kids, three different deliveries – first with an epidural, second without, and third an emergency c-section. The birth without the epidural was the most easy to recover from afterward – I went home within hours and felt awesome, so I would say that the big advantage is a shorter recovery time. But I don’t regret having an epidural the first time. It was just where I was at and it was all good.
So I’ve been trying to learn more about this, first time mom 31 weeks pregnant and EVERYONE has an opinion. The anti-epidural crowd is mostly focused on the perceived concern that epidurals lead to a greater number of interventions, including c-sections, that it can be harder on your body to push when you have less feeling (ie tears are more likely because you aren’t getting feedback from your body through pain) and that with some epidurals you are only able to lay and labor on your back, which can feel like ceding control/is not the most natural position to give birth.
I say “perceived” because I think there are so many factors you can’t really definitely say that epidurals yield more interventions.
@ seraphina — it really stinks that people were so critical for what you decided to do with your body and pertaining to your baby.
@ hootenannie — thank you for your input! Like I said, I am super not up to date on it. I know that epidurals can damage your spine long-term if something goes wrong, and that’s all I know. It must be so hard to decide with all the info! Best of luck and all the love to you and your baby!!!
@hootienannie, with the epidural, it depends on the dose! I got an epidural for my first birth, and I can tell you the doctor didn’t want to give me a high dose(neither did I), so I can retain feeling and was able to push during the contractions. It took the pain away as mt Labour was long (12+ hours of active labour), but I was still able to walk, push, and I had no tears. I was out of the hospital a few hours after the birth! So I think it’s circumstantial too.
Most start with no meds in mind, natural birth but then when it gets real most change their mind and it’s give me an epidural now, drugs now.
I hope she has time to change her mind when she’ll be in the heat of the moment. There’s no way i’m delivering my babies in that much pain and suffering. But it’s a personal choice. Ask me if I want to have all my wisdom teeth pulled out naturally or if i’d prefer to get a shot first.
I think the benefit of natural is that you can labor and give birth in a more natural position (squatting, in a tub, etc.) Once you have an epidural you lose feeling in your legs and have to lie down on your back.
*I say this as someone who got the epidural. No drug shaming here.
I love that this baby is going to have such a nurturing family, that Rumer is so close to her sisters, and that she’s training to be a doula. Wanting an unmedicated home birth is a great aspiration, and it could very well work out. But it’s good that she seems open to the possibility of needing to pivot if necessary. McSweeney’s really nailed the absurdity of birth plans in this vintage piece, which still makes me laugh.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan
This may sound harsh, but I really wish celebrities wouldn’t popularize and act so flippant about these curated birthing experiences. Pregnancy is still a potentially dangerous medical condition — not everybody’s body just “knows what to do,” and that really insuates women who seek medical care and medication are just being lazy. Let’s be clear: She has the funds to ensure a safe delivery regardless of location. That is not true of the majority of women in this country.
When attitudes like this enter public discourse, it’s a hell of a lot easier for the right-wing fascists to claim ownership over women’s reproductive choices because “it’s the normal/nature way.” It becomes easy for them to say those who accidentally become pregnant should just bear the consequences because it’s not big deal. Like Amy Comey Barret, who insinuates that because she had a bunch of kids, it should be just easy easy for everyone. It. Is. Fecking. Not.
As much as I love celebrating these moments, I cringe at how they can be exploited
Come on, let people (celebs or not) talk about their pregnancies and birthing plans openly. I’m tired of always having to cede to the notion that if you say you plan on giving birth one way, that you’re somehow dissing other ways of giving birth or that you’re some privileged out of touch leftie who needs to shut up because some person, somewhere doesn’t have access to xyz yada yada. You are living in fear if you’re constantly concerned about right-wingers “exploiting” stuff people say in public for their own machinations. They exploit themselves, they don’t need to use an interview with a leftist hippie Hollywood nepo celeb like Rumor.
Her comments seem so mild and she did not insinuate that home births are better or safer (there is no data to suggest that they are because there is no data collected on home births and death rates of mother or child). I agree that some celebs seem are super judgy about their own birth plans but she doesn’t seem one of them to me.
People will get mad at you but I agree. I’m not even criticizing Rumer per se–I know she’s just sharing her experience–but it would be great if celebs who are preparing to do a natural birth added a statement about how this is a privilege reserved mostly for relatively well-off white women.
I did like that she said it was a personal choice and that she reserves the right to change her mind. But yeah, this is just the moment we live in: one where men are hellbent on robbing us of our bodily autonomy–so extra care should be taken when discussing this subject publicly.
I did three home births (1999, 2002 and 2004) with a licensed nurse practitioner midwife and each cost $700-800 and that included all prenatal visits and 6 weeks of postnatal care. I feel like that’s cheaper that what one pays out of pocket in the hospital at least according to my friends who chose that route.
I disagree with this. Home births are not exclusive to privilege. What needs to be explored is why women of color have worse outcomes at hospitals.
Also your body does know what to do, it is crucial that women giving birth, especially those forced into it, are encouraged to trust themselves and their body. This doesn’t mean that emergencies or dangers can’t crop up. Rather it allows those giving birth the trust they need in their body to know that something is wrong and the power to demand to be listened to.
The powers that be have taken enough from us. Do not allow them to take the trust we must have in our own bodies throughout the birth experience.
Ohhh, hard “no” on this one. This comes too close to mythologizing pregnancy and forgetting that science/medicine has only recently gotten our maternal/fetal/infant mortality rates to a low level. If our bodies just “knew what to do,” a quarter of us would still be dying in childbirth, and we wouldn’t have learned successful medical interventions for pre- and post-partem eclampsia, infection and sepsis, and C-sections.
If my body knew what to do, it wouldn’t have wrapped its umbilical cord around my daughter’s neck twice, then retained enough of my placenta to almost cause me to bleed out. (Note: Avoid manual placenta extractions in the future, body!)
Suggesting our bodies just know how to do this safely plays into the narrative that carrying a child is no big deal. Careful there.
I agree that the disparity on how black women and white women receive care during the birthing process should absolutely be discussed–just not sure Rumer is the best person to talk about that. And it’s true that women of color are progressively seeking alternatives to hospital births due to their very valid mistrust but I wonder is that disparity regarding treatment will still exist on some level if it’s a white midwife assisting a WOC ? IDK…maybe we also need more black doulas.
The cost differential between home births and hospital births IS pretty substantial but I feel like wealth, resources, and accessibility will still factor into the level of safety of an at-home birth. Maybe I’m wrong…..
Hmm, maybe I wasn’t careful enough with my words. My point is that female bodily autonomy is a hot issue, and there are people who will jump at the opportunity to weaponize whatever aspects of it they can. Suggesting that home births can be easy is one such vulnerable topic, and I am extremely sensitive to treating pregnancy as anything other than a serious medical condition — that way you limit conversation around legislation to women and their doctors, the way it should be. Less room for uneducated opinions about religious dogma.
I swear, some MAGA hatted dude in Alabama just read her comments and thought, “I knew it! Women just want abortions so they don’t get fat, and we shouldn’t have to pay for healthcare either. They can give birth at home!”
Also, feck them.
So I take no issue with how Rumor or anyone else chooses to give birth. I just bristle at how some comments can be exploited.
One more thing: We as a society need to focus on giving ALL women access to quality medical care, regardless of race or financial status. Now more than ever, as the fascists legislate forced pregnancy. My concern is that glamorizing/normalizing all-natural births deflates the argument for better/accessible care.
Again, I celebrate every women’s right to choose the option they feel is best for them. But let’s make sure they have real CHOICE: choice to be pregnant, choice between goof, safe options for care, etc.
You’re right. I hadn’t given this a lot of thought before, but you’re right: We’re at the point that a safer home birth (that prioritizes Rumer’s body and autonomy) is being treated as “aspirational.” This is how extreme wealth inequality has become in the U.S. — basic health options that should be accessible to all are now a “luxury good.” Thanks for your comment, good lookin’-out.
I agree. The USA has an unacceptably high rate of maternal death and its mostly due to lack of access to medical care. I don’t like to seeing women voluntarily giving up access to medical care so they can feel like an earth mother or whatever their motivation is to take that risk. Rumer is rich enough to have a full medical team in her house if she wants it, but most women who read/are encouraged by her story will not.
How about we let her talk about her body, her baby, and her birth in whatever way she wants? Isn’t that what we all want – to be able to make and discuss our choices openly and without discourse? I think she sounds perfectly level-headed and realistic with her choices, and I applaud her for feeling comfortable enough speaking about them despite knowing there would be people telling her to just be quiet.
Great article about Rumor! Doulas are a great addition and support during pregnancy and childbirth and it’s wonderful that she wants to work in healthcare. Holland has a higher amount of children born at home than most other developed countries. I tried this, and was really glad that I did though I wound up having to go to the hospital with complications. Rumor is aware of what’s best for her baby and knows that’s a possibility in her case.
those insta photos are so cute! I almost didn’t recognize her
She looks so happy and loose/free – I’m wishing her and her little one all the best.
She looks lovely in all the photos. I have a family like hers (minus the fame) with half siblings and step parents never using the qualifiers. I had a birth plan and unmedicated birth with my first. It was painful and the midwife ended up doing an episiotomy, which was no fun; by the time I couldn’t take it anymore and wanted pain relief, I couldn’t have it. For the next baby, I was determined to get an epidural and got it just in time to push twice and deliver a baby. Couldn’t feel my legs for hours. They say you forget pain and while it’s true that I can’t recreate the feeling, I remember that it was eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-my-head/breath snatching/someone cut my vagina with scissors and that was the least painful part/singular focus painful. Do not recommend.
I do admire how close their blended family is, they all seem very supportive of each other, which is a fortunate thing in this world.
Personally I know too many scary stories of dangerous births, and a family member lost a baby at birth last year. I’ve never wanted to have children myself, but if I did I’d be in the hospital with all the drugs and all the nurses and doctors there to help.
People are so shitty about birth plans, and it’s beyond frustrating. The most pro-choice people in the world will scoff at women for daring to have totally mundane preferences. Nobody except for the most extreme of psychopaths on TikTok are going to risk their baby’s life for their own experience, but birth trauma is extremely common and it’s not helped by the constant “all that matters is that mom and baby are alive and healthy.” Informed consent, caring providers, and evidence-based care are also extremely important.
FWIW, my doula and doctor/midwife team had me come up with my ideal birth preferences, as well as preferences for what should happen for other outcomes (like unplanned induction or c-section). I had a detailed list of preferences for each outcome, and it was comforting to know that I had a plan for each possibility. My planned waterbirth turned c-section, and it was a truly outstanding experience thanks to my doctor and midwives following the plan/preferences, even with some complications.
No one at the hospital gave a crap about my birth plan. They followed their own. This nothing to do with race either since the doctor was my same race and ethnicity.
I’m sorry to hear that, and really, that’s why de-stimatizing birth preferences needs to happen. There’s a nasty culture of paternalism in obstetrics, and modern-day (usually female) OBGYNS are loudly fighting back against it, thank god. So much of what is forced onto women under the guise of “safe” has no legitimate evidence to back it up. I spend a decent amount of time on Tiktok, and it’s really disheartening how predatory the crunchy community is on there…they’re able to swoop in and prey on women suffering from birth trauma because their doctors didn’t listen to them.
My daughter is a Doula already and is in nursing school to become a Midwife. She’s attended almost 20 births and knows that birthing plans are great to have but do not always go, well, according to plan. If pain medication, a C-Section, or going to the hospital at all (some women want to birth from home if possible), become desired or necessary to keep Mom and Baby safe and comfortable, then so be it. It’s a process and these decisions are made in tandem with others (including Doctors) as things unfold. Like Rumer said, flexibility is important.
I think with most Doulas it’s like Kay said, above. You have a Plan A, but also a Plan B and C, and you sign off on all of them in advance. Be Prepared, and all that.
It sounds like Rumer just wants to be prepared and be part of the process (and decision making) as much as possible, which is great. Her comments didn’t strike me as judge-y. Yes, she’s privileged but I imagine she knows that. And it sounds like she’s someone who has always been intrigued by the birth process, so this just jibes with her interests.
It’s nice that all of the sisters are so close.
I don’t have kids, don’t want them. One reason is the insanity of pregnancy and birth and the fact that I would want to be in a hospital, knowing full well it can be a not-so-cozy experience.But can someone explain to me why anyone would choose to go the most painful route? I’m honestly always completely at a loss when women say they want to go unmedicated. So … you want all the pain. My bff planned on it, ended up with a c-section. But I asked her why before she had the baby and the answers were … not really based on logic. If someone said to me “Look, studies have shown that it is bad for the baby and the mother. XYZ can happen to the child. The mother can suffer XYZ.” I would completely understand. But mostly it’s “I want to go natural.” or “I want the experience.” I mean you do you but … none of us go into medical procedures saying “I want all the pain please, thank you.”
Why does it matter? Why do women have to justify or explain why they want the birth experience they do? Whether it’s epidural or otherwise.
Well, why do they talk about it all the time? I have not had one friend or colleague who didn’t mention whether she had drugs or not or planned on it. And I have never been the one to bring it up or ask why, it’s always them who explain it without really explaining it.
Celebrities talk about it. It’s being talked about all over social media. If it didn’t matter, we wouldn’t talk about it.
Giving birth is a very profound and primal experience for many and for some women, the powerful connection that they find through the pain to both their body and their baby is worth it.
Pregnancy and birth is not just a medical experience like a surgery, but also a deeply transformative one. Without medication some recover more quickly, I know that the medication I was given was quite a bit and while I couldn’t feel anything but pressure during my c-section (I already had my epidural) I was woozy and shaky after and didn’t hold my baby for about an hour as I was scared to drop him.
It’s just weighing potential benefit to potential cost and that differs from mom to mom. My mom was in labor with me for 30 minutes, pushed twice and went home the next morning. Labor and birth is not always a lengthy, pain filled experience.
My SiL and some of my friends are happily childless as well. Good for you for knowing that you personally are happier without kids and being able to choose that for yourself.
As to going without meds: My mom was an immigrant and when I was born, she chose meds. I apparently got too much and didn’t move or respond much in my first two days—for my siblings she went natural and was much happier about both the movement/ alertness level of the babies and her recovery.
Many friends of mijn chose meds-free births as well: most were happy with that decision. You get breath and meditation training which helps, the births are quicker and there’s less chance of complications. Sort of the idea of short-term hell for a bigger reward. And, not everything is logical, especially during pregnancy: for instance, I cleaned my entire house including the walls and doors before my kids were born.
Thank you strangers on the internet for explaining it to me. Maybe my friends just felt like doing it this way or maybe they didn’t feel like trying to explain all of this to someone who doesn’t want to participate in this experience. It’s okay, I honestly can’t feel anything but horror at the notion of birth. That’s not someone you want to share those deep feelings with I guess. We share other things. The babies are all adorable of course and I‘m happy being an aunt.
Everyone needs a cool aunt 🖤
I had two unmedicated birth’s because the idea of being unable to feel my legs terrified me more than anything. Also, I have red hair which has meant that every time I’ve received pain meds, the dose wasn’t strong enough.
I also have three friends who gave birth within six weeks of each other in three different states, and all three of them were cut with scissors the instant the epidural kicked in. Episiotomies (the scissor cut) rarely heal well, or correctly, and have been shown to have no positive effect on outcomes. So they all got scar tissue that forever altered their sex like life, etc, because of paternalistic doctors who felt entitled to cut them without informed consent. I think it’s f*cking assault.
Anyway, I think everyone should make informed decisions on what they want and do it, as long as it’s not over dangerous. I wanted med free, because that made me feel autonomous and safe, so that’s what I did. My first birth was long and sucked, I had a third degree tear (my birth plan was literally, no med students allowed and no episiotomies), but because it was a tear, it healed completely. My second was much faster and because I gave birth in a different position, I needed no stitches (for a 9+ pound baby!).
There’s so much birth trauma and straight up horror that happens, I just want everyone to feel safe and do what they want.
Well good for her. 100% with the it’s her body and she can take pain meds or not take pain meds.
I do hope whoever is assisting gives her a proper run down of how far her cervix can be dilated before she can’t change her mind and they check her cervix frequently and carefully.
There were a lot of women on OBGYN rotation that didn’t want the spinal and then they’d be begging to get it in and we’d check ‘em and nope, too far dilated.
I felt bad for those women.
Also @HOOTENANNIE- congrats and omg so exciting. I did have that thing you talked about where it was harder for me to push but the fix was super easy- I just asked anesthesia to turn it down and bam, problem solved. Also the OB wanted to cut and I bargained with her for 5 more pushes, after making sure baby was still safe, of course, and I got the little sucker out in #5.
She looks so beautiful, happy and excited! I’m thrilled that Bruce will get to see his first grandchild before his illness progresses further. I am hoping so much for a boy for them. My opinion of her changed when I saw her on DWTS. She is an impressive young woman and I have always respected Bruce and Demi for the way they handled their divorce yet remained a tight unit, always there for their girls. It’s clearly worked out for all of them and I love their closeness. 🥰 Very excited to see the baby too!! Would that all babies be as anticipated and loved as this little one.🥲
And beware!!! The video *will* get you right in the feels. Did Bruce lose a front tooth? He looks so fragile…😨
I had two unmedicated at home births. I recovered quickly and really enjoyed both experiences. I was in control, my family was able to be there, and I think being in my own environment relaxed me. But it’s not for everyone and I definitely would have chosen a hospital had my midwife recommended it.
Personally I’d like to see more research and progress in reducing pain and improving maternal heath outcomes together. It’s a terrible choice women still have to make. Those that are privileged enough to have a choice.
I had an epidural and would do it again in a heartbeat. Anyone who acts as though no anesthesia is the superior moral choice is behaving repulsively, and unfortunately I came across a couple of those people. Makes me appreciate others who are supportive and informed about safe choices 💛
My pet peeve is when people label a birth not assisted by an epidural as “natural” implying that using an epidural is somehow not natural. Do we ask people who get a root canal whether they had a “natural” root canal by saying no to pain relief? The worst part is that it’s mainly women judging other women in this case and I so hate that for all of us.
Well “natural,” 500 years ago meant a lot of dead young women and dead babies.
Truly natural for OBGYN is the last thing I want to experience.
But a middle of the road balance, or natural right up until you have the ability to route over to a great ICU and NICU, those are ok….
I have such an aversion to home births. And I think unmedicated is trying to win a medal for nothing. I have real reasons for not liking home births. I had friends who lost a baby over something very minor in a home birth. Another would have died or lost abilities to have more children if not in the hospital because she hemorrhaged so severely. A third had a baby that would have died had they not been in the spot to lifeflight the baby to a specialty hospital. I’m just a normal person who is not around a ton of births and this is what I’ve seen.
And that’s fine. But you should also recognize that your experience or your friend’s is not the standard or even the norm and everyone’s birth experience is different. And their choices should be respected.
What. You think I’m going to go to her house and tell her she can’t do it? I had THREE people with very negative experiences. I was in Sun Valley when her mom had her there. Podunk hospital. She was lucky and I’m thrilled that nothing went wrong. But I have the right to judge this choice.
I’m sorry, but I don’t have to respect her choice. To me, it feels dangerous. But it’s not like I’m going to her house to stop her. She can do what she wants.
Elsa I’m with you 100%. Why anyone would want to introduce ANY amount of risk into the situation seems selfish. And let’s take it a step farther….if you were able to ask the baby for it’s preferences, do you really think it would say, “sure Mom! I’m willing to suffer in a LifeFlight so you can be at home with your candles and music”.
with all due respect, you have no idea what the “norm” is when it comes to home births because statistics are not kept. that’s one thing that drives me crazy, when people argue that home births are just as safe or safer than hospital births. maybe, maybe not, but with no stats kept, you simply cannot know what the norm is and how risky or not risky home births are.
Years ago I had a colleague whose choice was respected and she lost her baby during a home birth in a birthing pool, overseen by a doula. If she’d been in hospital the baby would have survived. The safety of the baby is PRIMARY and my colleague ignored it in favour of having a *natural* birth. That is selfish.
Knowledge decreases anxiety so good for her for studying to be a doula. I had a C-Section and I will say this: I totally understand if a woman doesn’t want the epidural because not being able to feel my legs was the scariest part of my daughter’s birth story. I don’t regret having a C-Section at all but that part was scary.
i could feel my legs (and pain!) with an epidural and vaginal birth. an epidural with a c-section is different.
Thank you for educating me on this! I didn’t know.
@Sue – I only know because I’ve done both! My c-section was an emergency so not feeling anything wasn’t the scary part – I don’t think I even registered that I couldn’t feel anything because I was so panicked! My sister had a c-section and then a more straight-forward vaginal birth so that may be option if you decide to go again. In the end, it’s all good and they are all “natural” ways of having a baby.
I sure am glad to know she’s staying open because as someone who had a very detailed birth plan for my first…exactly none of what I planned for happened except my child and I didn’t die because of it, which is a daily reality in this fckin country. And I received so much judgment from people who did get to experience that natural birth, all acting as though I was lazy or not as strong for having literally an emergency cesarean. Women are such utter cnts to each other.
No matter what happens, I wish Rumer and her upcoming bundle only health and happiness!
Non-hostile q since I genuinely don’t know: What about preemies? What happens when a woman goes into labour early–sometimes months before she should? That is a situation where medical intervention is required. Not all preemies come into this world healthy. I’m one of them. I grew into a healthy kid and adult, but I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if my mom had just stayed home and hopped into an inflatable pool. I needed immediate care.
My great-uncle was born early (by a matter of weeks, not months) and kept warm by the stove, but they were lucky: neither he nor his mother had any complications. While I get that this is something that happened (or still happens) all the time, there’s also a reason why infant mortality used to be so damned high.
Rumer addresses this by saying she’s open to changing her plans; it’s just something I wonder about.. It seems that some of the most vocal advocates for home births are against hospitals entirely, and while I can understand something of where they’re coming from, I think it’s a naive and somewhat privileged position to take. I’m assuming they’d seek outside help if something went wrong? But in a situation like that, time is of the essence… Idk.
Sure, everyone should be allowed to do their own birth plan.
Also, no one expects people to do UNMEDICATED DENTISTRY! Is she announcing that her next root canal is unmedicated? NO!
This whole performance art shit about “unmedicated” birth is tiresome. She can go bite on a piece of leather and SHUT THE FUCK UP. She gets NO points for this statement.
Didn’t Rumer call out her own mom for addiction at one time? Maybe if Demi had felt less social pressure to poop out a baby the size of a watermelon through a hole sized for a lemon without complaint, Demi would have been less likely to “self-treat” with substances and more likely to be present enough to teach her daughter that you don’t need to be performative with your birth in order to feel like you’re being a good mom?
My daughter died due to medical negligence during labor and delivery in a hospital. I’ve encountered a lot of fellow loss moms whose babies died due to complications during a home birth. Having a trained professional present does not account for anything.
In all likelihood, she and her baby will be fine. And because of survival bias, she’ll propagate this method of birthing babies as perfectly fine. In spite of what happened to my daughter, I’m convinced that home births are crazy dangerous and unnecessarily increase the risk of a dramatic outcome. Granted, those risks are small, and say doubling or tripling still results in very small risks. However, when the worst happens that is no comfort. Then your life is shattered and you forever carry the pain and trauma.
This news is super triggering for me.
I can’t think of anything more painful. I am so so sorry.
A friend of mine tried to do this with an experienced midwife and almost died. They got her to the hospital but it was very very close.
Rumer talks about Mom shaming in this interview. Some of the women posting proved her point.
She is an excited soon to be Mom who is promoting her line when an interviewer asks her about the baby. She does what most pregnant Mom’s do and that is talk excitedly about the baby and her labor plans. She didn’t criticize a drug birth.
She is studying to be a doula. Doula’s do have medical training even though it is a non medical position. They have to be calm and supportive for Mothers during medical emergencies too. I know of nurses who are doulas. It is not uncommon for a retired ob-gyn to become a doula.
I had a natural birth too. I would do it again if I wasn’t perimenopause. I also had my baby in thirty minutes so even if I chose drugs there would have been no time to give them to me.
All my friends had drug births. I was the only one who went natural. None of us ever criticized each other. We all had healthy babies.
Our bodies our choice.
Rumer looks so beautiful. I love her glow. Demi looks so proud and excited.
I am so happy for the whole family.
Jes, I just saw your post above mine. I am so sorry about your daughter. Hugs.
I believe that if you go into childbirth with as much info as possible, it is never a bad thing. I personally believe that is it very important to (try to) be open-minded. Circumstances can change and what a mom had planned may not always happen. Other than that – to each her own.