Rob Lowe is complicated. While I have no desire to delve into his politics, of all the things I never thought he would excel at, Rob relishes being a husband and father. And he seems to have done the work in those relationships as well. His sons, Matthew and John Owen, both adore their dad and seek out opportunities to work with him. And Rob and wife Sheryl Berkoff just celebrated their 31-year wedding anniversary. While speaking to Bruce Bozzi on his podcast, Rob said the best plan is to marry your best friend. Other than that, he said to remember that everything has ebb and flow within a relationship.

Rob Lowe is revealing the secret to making his 31-year marriage to wife Sheryl Berkoff work.

On the latest episode of iHeartRadio’s Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi podcast, the 59-year-old actor opened up about how finding the right partner leads to lasting love.

“[Marriage] is hard anywhere, it is not just Hollywood – it’s everywhere,” he told host Bruce Bozzi. “Sheryl was and is my best friend. So if you marry for anything other than the fact that is your best friend, you’re at a disadvantage from the jump, because that will sustain when the other stuff ebbs and flows.”

The Unstable star adds that he believes that forgiveness allows a relationship to move forward, sharing, “People say marriage takes work. I’m not sure if it takes work, but what it does take is forgiveness, and being really cognizant of what hill you’re willing to die on.”

Lowe admitted that keeping the physical spark alive is another important factor in a successful long-term relationship.

“I do believe you need the heat for sure,” he shared. “If you don’t have the heat – and that’s a chemical thing – I mean I still have it with Sheryl, you gotta keep the heat.”

He continued: “That comes and goes too, there are times when you are like, ‘Nah.’ And then there are times when you are wild for somebody.”

[From Yahoo!]

I don’t disagree with Rob about the best friend thing. I can’t speak to relationships in which people meet and marry right away. I’m a slow simmer kind of person, I don’t open up easily. So becoming best friends with someone quickly seems impossible to me. But my parents did it and they are still best friends 62 years later. I agree with Rob’s points about ebb and flow, though. And trusting your partner will wait it out helps immensely with that. I know there’s a split #onhere whether marriage is hard or takes work so I’ll offer this instead: life is hard. And when the sh*t hits the fan and it seems like everything is stacked against you, having your best friend around really helps. Even if you lose sight of that for a little bit. Rob’s point about keeping the heat and accepting that the older you get, there will be peaks and valleys is some of the most real comments I’ve heard on that.

I just watched Rob’s Unstable series on Netflix. He and John Owen created the series. Plus, they wrote an episode, which I have to say impresses me, I didn’t know they had it in them. I liked it, the cast really makes it. Although it is yet another show in which the wife/mother died/was killed suddenly, leaving the husband devastated and having to stumble through parenting the traumatized offspring. Since the rest of the show is about John Owen’s character trying to come out from under his dad Rob’s character’s shadow, I wonder how Sheryl felt about being killed off to showcase her men’s growth? At least she’s painted as a saint, which I’m sure she is, putting up with Rob’s other bs.

Photo credit: Cover Images and Anthony Dixon/Avalon