Kristin Davis: ‘Society expects you to diminish yourself as you age. But why should we?’

To promote the new season of And Just Like That, Kristin Davis gave an absolutely charming interview to the Telegraph. I normally wouldn’t consider an interview “charming,” but I was charmed by Davis’s honesty, realness and positive energy. She’s a single mom by choice, she adopted two Black children, and she’s not the prissy, uptight Charlotte in real life. She manages to navigate tricky conversations with grace, conversations about “woke” whatever, race, ageism, cosmetic work and Kim Cattrall. Some highlights:

The original ‘Sex and the City’: ‘People forget how shocking it was. Four women over the age of 30 starring in a show where men are secondary and we’re talking about relationships and sex openly.’

On the criticism that these characters should be left in the past: ‘Why shouldn’t our lives still be interesting? Society expects you to diminish yourself as you age. But why should we? As Mary Steenburgen [the 70-year-old Oscar-winning actress] said the other day, “I’m still alive.”’

On the criticisms of how ‘woke’ AJLT is: ‘I’m so tired of that word. I feel like it has been weaponised. And it’s unfortunate – because it really just means being educated about what other people are going through. Why is that a bad thing?’

She never married: ‘I think it was a reaction to the South [she grew up in South Carolina, the only child of a data analyst and a psychology professor], where they’re very, very focused on getting married soon. There’s pressure. My parents were not like that. [They] were much more hippie and I was more independent. I remember saying very young: “I am never getting married.” I was like, “Down with the patriarchy!” I did not want to stay [in the South] with all the blonde people. I’m sorry. No offence.’

On Kim Cattrall’s absence from AJLT: ‘You have to respect people’s wishes. I’m not gonna waste energy on it. I can’t change anybody. I do understand fans’ feelings – that they’re upset… I wish I could fix it, but I can’t, it’s not in my power.’

Her children Gemma and Wilson are now 11 and five. ‘I’d always thought about adopting. But it took me forever to actually do it. They give you this form and there are a bunch of races listed there and you’re supposed to check the ones you want. I thought that was nuts so I just checked “any”.’ She has become very attuned to any hints of racism. ‘People make crazy comments. They want to know why my tall daughter doesn’t play basketball. And when you have a boy, it’s really frightening to look at the news.’ Home, she says, is ‘hectic’. ‘They’re very sporty right now. My daughter’s running track and my son is obsessed with basketball and soccer…”

She barely dates: ‘I have a lot of mom friends who want to set me up, I can’t deal with it… I’ve tried because life is short, right? Sometimes you think “That might work.” But it’s a challenge… It’s an energy issue. Twice I tried new relationships: one with someone I had known for many years, someone brilliant in our industry… He got upset with me that I hadn’t paid attention to something work-wise that he’d done and I was like, “Dude”.’

She talks openly about the cosmetic work she’s done: ‘It’s hard to be confronted with your younger self at all times. And it’s a challenge to remember that you don’t have to look like that. The internet wants you to – but they also don’t want you to. They’re very conflicted…’ At first she just tried Botox. ‘I was super-excited I didn’t have to have my lateral lines. But I didn’t do anything else for a long time.’ Then came the fillers: ‘I have done fillers and it’s been good and I’ve done fillers and it’s been bad. I’ve had to get them dissolved and I’ve been ridiculed relentlessly. And I have shed tears about it. It’s very stressful.’

Now, she says, she has a more laissez-faire attitude to the whole thing. ‘It’s whatever. I can’t keep it up. I don’t have time. You’re trusting doctors [but] people personally blame us when it goes wrong – [as if] I jabbed a needle in my face…’ She is referring to some work on her lips. ‘No one told me it didn’t look good for the longest time. But luckily I do have good friends who did say eventually. The thing is you don’t smile at yourself in the mirror. Who smiles at themselves in the mirror? Crazy people.’

[From The Telegraph]

She also tosses off the fact that she “gave up drinking in her early 20s” because she was an alcoholic back then. Which I didn’t know, but she makes it sound like it’s something that everyone knows? She also says that she has it in her AJLT contract that she gets to keep all of Charlotte’s clothes. Which is amazing. Basically, she just sounds like a normal, stressed-out single mom and working mom. She barely has time to date, she’s experimented with cosmetic stuff, she’s just trying to get through the day, basically. Anyway, she seems cool.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

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35 Responses to “Kristin Davis: ‘Society expects you to diminish yourself as you age. But why should we?’”

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  1. Hereforthegossip says:

    I’ve always loved her and I enjoyed this interview but my biggest takeaway was that SHE GETS TO KEEP ALL THE DESIGNER DUDS CHARLOTTE WEARS ON THE SHOW?!??!!!! What an amazing perk, I’m so envious/happy for her

    • LightPurple says:

      Especially as Charlotte has the BEST clothes!

    • Blithe says:

      Yep! Awesome that keeping all of the clothes is actually written into the contract!
      I’m seriously liking that chrysanthemum print duster.

    • SquiddusMaximus says:

      Hmm. My reaction to Charlotte’s AJLT wardrobe is that they’re dressing her like a caricature of herself. Just absurd.

      And yet Kristen herself seems real, thoughtful, delightful, and entirely herself. I really applaud her humility with the fillers, too — we need more conversation like this to de-mythologize the whole practice.

    • Chicken says:

      Just that coat in the last photo would make me put it in my contract.

    • Little Red says:

      If there’s anyone’s wardrobe, on that show, that I have always coveted, it was Charlotte’s. There were a few things in Season 1 of AJLT that were over the top but if that coat in the last photo and the red shirtdress are any indication of what she wears in Season 2, I will be drooling.

  2. Salty Pom says:

    What a breath of fresh air. Brava Kristin!

  3. death by bacon says:

    While I wouldn’t want that polka dot number. I usually liked the way Charlotte dressed. Girly and preppy. Miranda is my clothes if I could afford it twin though.

    Keeping the clothes fab.

  4. Twin Falls says:

    LOL at the guy needing extra attention and her response.

    I love her comments on the stuff she’s done cosmetically because things can go sideways through no fault of your own and the pressure to do it (but not admit it) is enormous.

  5. Sass says:

    I have always loved her and I forgot she’s from where I grew up too! “I didn’t want to be around all the blonde people” made me cackle. She’s completely right about that entire culture. Everyone gets married young. It’s a disaster. I thought I was a failure bc I didn’t get married by 19 like my mother had. I got married “old” at 23. 🫠 I wouldn’t change my marriage for anything, I ended up with a wonderful person. But the pressure to marry young is real in the south. People even advise their daughters STILL to go to college just to get their “Mrs. degree.” I’m glad we chose to raise our kids away from that.

    • Haus of Cats says:

      I grew up in the South and never felt the pressure to marry. It never occurred to me that it mattered. My parents taught me to do whatever made me happy. Maybe I was hanging around the wrong people, lol

      • Sass says:

        Count yourself as lucky then, Hausofcats, because your experience is the exception and not the norm. It was happening where I grew up in the 90-00s and it’s still happening there today. And I grew up in a more progressive city, not the boondocks. Although I did live in the boonies for about two years in my early 20s, and it’s worse there.

      • Mrs. S says:

        Born, raised, and still live in south Alabama. I did get married young (18), and everyone was appalled. None of my friends got married young, and absolutely none of us were expected let alone pressured to marry. My grown daughters are 32, 31, 27, and 24. Only one of them is married with kids, and we sure aren’t pushing for the others to marry or have babies. This idea that it’s expected in the south is absurd to me.

    • Chicken says:

      Dude, I went to one of the best universities in the nation, which is in the south, and a girl on my hall announced the first week freshman year that she was just there for her Mrs degree, on the advice of her mom (her mom used to come visit monthly to check her measurements to make sure she didn’t gain weight). Like, you got into this great school, with so many cool opportunities to learn and expand your world, and instead you see it as a husband pool.

    • Haus of Cats says:

      You’re right about being lucky! My parents were liberal and so were my friends. I think I tuned out the opinions of people who preached about traditional marriage and children since I never wanted that life.

  6. Ms single malt says:

    Her dating history fascinates me. Rick Fox, Damian Lewis, Liev Schreiber and Aaron Sorkin. Thankful Aaron Sorkin did not last long – he seems exhausting to me.

    • Deering24 says:

      I get the strong feeling he’s like James Cameron—they love writing about strong women, but can not deal with them in real life.

  7. HeyKay says:

    Like this interview. I had no idea she had children.
    And I completely agree that people should all continue to live as they choose, no rules because of age.
    Women especially are often invisible as we age. Truly makes me angry.

    • B says:

      Well the misogyny meter gets more finely tuned as you age. Of course there’s a societal pressure to sit down and shut up.

    • Tigerlily says:

      I just turned 64. When I was a younger woman I was used to being looked at by men. It was a rude awakening when I was 40ish and gained a bit of weight. Truthfully it bothered me though I’d always been more nerdy/bookish than glam. Now i find it incredibly freeing to have no Fs to give. I’m overweight and have a few greys but being overweight smooths wrinkles LOL. I’m more content than I’ve ever been. The pressure on women (and increasingly on men too) to be slim and blemish free is disheartening. I’d never cut it in Hollywood.

      • Concern Fae says:

        It’s amazing how much younger a few pounds will make you look. LOL

        From boob jobs to fillers, so much of plastic surgery is about letting women be super thin while also looking like you’ve got a bit of body fat in the “right” places.

      • Nina says:

        @tigerlily, I cosign all of this. I put on weight taking care of my dying mom because there just weren’t enough hours in the day to take care of me. But then I was lucky enough to find a man who loved my extra curves and married me at 65! I truly think my extra smooths out my face and I get “what’s your secret” all the time. Ha, it’s ice cream! I’d like to be a little smaller because I know it puts stress on my joints , but seriously no other reason.

    • Just me says:

      Brava to her comment about it being a good thing to educate people about what our fellow human beings are going through! Though there have been some set-backs in the rights of women and the concerns associated with race, gender and orientation, people are aware. I hope the next great push for recognition of the humanity of a group is related to aging. As a matter of fact, Maybe Kristin Davis can do some sort of podcast on this. She has something important to say!

  8. Laalaa says:

    Her IG is one of the rare ones I check! She does lovely things for elephants 🙂
    I always found it funny how all the SATC women are in real life the complete opposite.
    Charlotte seeks marriage, Kristin does not.
    Miranda was single, judgmental and ambivalent about motherhood when Cynthia was already married and with a child.
    Kim said of herself she is not Samantha, and admitted she wanted children.
    And… SJP is in a long marriage while Carrie was not, but to me they are equally problematic, lol

  9. Mcmmom says:

    I knew she was a recovering alcoholic, but I’m not sure she was ever an active drinker when she was famous? I remember her from Melrose Place (Brooke? I think she went nuts? I don’t remember – it’s been a long time). She’s talked about raising her kids – from what I recall, she sounded thoughtful and tuned in.

    Good for her for negotiating to keep the clothes – that’s a great perk.

    • AmyB says:

      I knew Davis was a recovering alcoholic as well – she spoke of it back in the day during the original run of SATC probably during interviews.

  10. girl_ninja says:

    I love this! I’m 50, single and never been married. I never thought I wouldn’t be a mom and a wife but here I am and I’m fine. More than fine I’m happy, grateful and loved. I have a great friend group and and family. I haven’t given up on love by any means and I’m still looking to find my man, but the way I see it is different. Anyway. Shout out to ALL women who have chosen how they want to live and love.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      Agree @ girl_ninja!! It’s about time that women are n longer held to different standards than men. They never question why men aren’t married and having children, only women carry that burden.

      KD sounds grounded and clearly has her own priorities and she should be celebrated!! I am glad that she chose to adopt another child too! I do love what she does with the elephants as well. If we could all have those that are in that socioeconomic position to take heed for tackling well deserving programs, it would make the world a better place for everyone!

  11. BeanieBean says:

    She sounds like a lovely, head on straight, normal person. How refreshing! ‘Keep the wardrobe’ is a wonderful perk to have written into your contract! Wonder if that extends to all the accessories as well, ’cause the shoes & handbags would really add up!
    Also, Burberry makes a bag just for dog waste bags????

  12. QuiteContrary says:

    She seems like a genuinely cool person.

  13. Erin says:

    She sounds like one of the few down to earth actors which is refreshing and I like how she talks about the work she’s had done. I will say that info smile at myself in the mirror to make sure I don’t have lipstick on my teeth and make sure it doesn’t look weird because when I line my lips they could look fine resting but off when I smile for some reason. Maybe I’m crazy though lol.

  14. Shells_Bells says:

    I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I regularly watch Celebrity IOU on HGTV and while many of the eipsodes are eye-roll inducing & cringey (looking at you Heidi Klum), I found her’s genuine and endearing.