Kim Kardashian just wants a guy with perfect teeth, no baggage & good hygiene

This week, Kim Kardashian hosted a Barbie-themed birthday party for her daughter North West at the Beverly Hills Hotel. These are some photos of Kim and others leaving the party, where they were all wearing Barbie-pink. I could tell by Kim’s thousand-yard stare that North probably had a great time but the adults are pretty much done with Barbie. Just think, it will only get worse once the movie comes out.

Anyway, there are so many headlines about Hulu’s The Kardashians and I find most of the stories kind of boring or old news? But for weeks now, Kim has been pushing a narrative that she’s open to dating, that she’s got her eye on someone, that she’d like to move on completely from Pete Davidson and Kanye. So on the most recent episode, Kim made a list of what she’s looking for in a guy:

She knows what she wants. Kim Kardashian is focused on manifesting the perfect man for herself.

“[I need him to] protect me [and] fight for me. Good hygiene and that is a given so I should maybe take that off,” Kim said while reading off her phone. “[He should be] calm. No mom or dad issues. [I want someone who is] patient, supportive, genuinely happy for me [and] successful.”

The reality star noted that “good teeth” is an important part of her list. “Teeth are, like, one of my biggest turn-ons. The straighter, the hornier I will get. I am just kidding — but not kidding,” she joked in a confessional. “Also, no balding. But then I don’t know … if I am in love then I will rub your bald head. But we are just talking about our perfection list.”

Kim went on to say that she wanted to find someone who added to her life. “[He should be] spontaneous, fun [and] my friends and family love him,” she continued. “[I want] someone that can be a role model for my kids — especially someone my boys can look up to.”

While filming her Hulu series, the aspiring lawyer said she didn’t want someone who had “heavy baggage,” adding, “I have enough. [I hope he is] taller than me and someone that loves to work out. [He should be a] motivated and independent person. Someone who is not clingy and someone with good taste.”

In a post-credits scene, Kim kept listing more characteristics that appeal to her. “[I like someone] smart, kind and [who] has great manners. I want to love their scent even after the gym. [He should be able] to read a room. We could get facials together and laser. [The potential man should] have their own s—t going on but also adaptable. Respect to others especially when no one is watching.”

[From Yahoo]

From the outside looking in, LA’s dating scene seems pretty tragic. I mean, there’s a reason why so many attractive young women ended up dating guys like Justin Bieber and Scott Disick: that’s the kind of guy on offer in LA. Now add to that the fact that Kim Kardashian is a major celebrity, she’s rich, she’s a mom of four kids and her ex-husband is a Nazi wingnut who threatens to kill any guy Kim dates. I mean… it’s going to be pretty difficult for Kim to find a guy to date in general, regardless of her list of ideal qualities. Which is probably why she’s been single for months. I think it’s funny that she doesn’t want a guy with mommy or daddy issues or any baggage, because sister, Kim has all of the issues and baggage for everyone.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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34 Responses to “Kim Kardashian just wants a guy with perfect teeth, no baggage & good hygiene”

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  1. HeyKay says:

    No baggage? LOL
    SHE is the Queen of baggage!
    Look at the history of failed marriages, relationships, drama, etc., etc., in her entire family.

    • Ravensdaughter says:

      +1. When I read this, I also thought about Kanye: what a nightmare to have a spouse with a major mental illness who refuses to seek help.
      The virtues she rattled off were on the mark. The “protect me and fight for me” thing was probably a reference to feeling so exposed when she was with Kayne.

    • shanaynay says:

      I laughed when I read that so much so that coffee flew out of my nose.. She’d joking, right? She must be joking. She’s totally seeking attention as usual. She’s so predictable.

    • ally says:

      I mean…to be fair…she does say she has enough for her and the guy she would be dating so. She knows that. And I am not usually a KK defender but its literally in the article.

      • Cheryl says:

        But I don’t get it. If one has baggage up the wazoo, what gives them the right to demand of a potential partner that they have none at all? Why should they, the one with their sh*t together, be expected to put up with the others constant family drama and crap?

        I swear, the sheer nerve of this woman smh

  2. Erika says:

    A good list, made me chuckle. Where is Queen Northie in these photos and why is Kim so orange??

    • Cali says:

      I think North is next to Maxwell but her face is hidden by the little girl in the foreground. Btw Maxwell is going to tower over her mom. Jessica Simpson is pretty short and her daughter looks to be taking after her dad in height.

  3. Josephine says:

    I don’t know if that list was in order, but “protect me and fight for me,” even if not the first thing on the list, suggests she’s still in middle school. i don’t know that she’s capable of a relationship that is not monetized – they seem to think of people as only entities that can do something for them or get something for them.

  4. Lily says:

    Don’t we all Kim. Don’t we all.

  5. No baggage because she has tons of baggage that needs to be attended to at all times. Good luck finding that guy.

  6. Lily says:

    Wait Kim! Don’t forget! He needs to be at least six feet tall with rippling muscles and a chilled jaw. /snark

    • Brassy Rebel says:

      If she ever finds a guy with all these qualities, she should forget about dating him and just have him cloned for the entire female sex.

    • Eurydice says:

      Considering that she’s barely 5’2″ if she really stretches, it shouldn’t be difficult to find a man who’s taller. And you can buy straight teeth.

  7. Chantal says:

    That’s quite the list! And no baggage? Seriously? Anyone she dates in her age range will likely have some baggage. It’s the type and levels that matter.

    But I don’t know if Kim can handle someone “boring” and who doesn’t take at least one selfie a day. She loves being in the limelight too much. And didn’t ex hubby Kris Humphries meet a lot of those items? And was fidelity on that list bc well…

  8. Kitten says:

    “I want to love their scent even after the gym.”

    These people absolutely do not live in reality. At all. Not a dude on the planet who isn’t rank AF after a workout.

    “We could get facials together and laser.”

    No thanks, Tom Hanks. I have my activities that I share with my partner: we kayak together, we run together, we go to breweries and drink beer together lol. I do NOT need a dude going along with me for my Botox appointments and my manis.

    “He should be taller than me and someone that loves to work out. [He should be a] motivated and independent person”.

    I mean, is SHE any of those things? How often does SHE work out?
    TBH, the imaginary dude she’s describing is way out of her league,

    • FeedMeChips says:

      I can confidently say my husband doesn’t stink, even after a workout. I unfortunately cannot say the same for myself, even on a very sedentary day, though.

      • Isa says:

        My husband doesn’t stink either. Even after working in the sun all day. I mentioned that to someone once and they said I was just attracted to his pheromones, which yea, but also he just doesn’t produce much odor.

  9. phaedra7 says:

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣=> This is a JOKE! Even people who are/have employed matchmakers don’t always get the ones they want for a potential partner! The guy who fits her criteria has to be either a PURE YES MAN or something that A.I. (ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE) conjures up! 🤦‍♀️

  10. Mar says:

    She’s worth billions but her makeup artist hates her- that’s for sure.

    Kim’s list made me laugh with those prerequisites – perhaps she can date a 20 year old that really loves his parents.

  11. ME says:

    That tan. Please stop. You are not a WOC, stop pretending to be.

  12. HeyKay says:

    What color is the sky in her world?
    She sounds like a Disney Princess and completely in denial.
    First get yourself straightened out Kimmy.

    She has 4 young kids. Several divorces, past relationships, lives for attention and SM, she is practically surgically attached to her Mom/Sisters, they live their lives for next seasons plot lines and are hard at work getting all their kids in on the grift.

    What sane man with his own life and career (and you know he is gonna need to be wealthy for her to interested) who has ever seen or heard of her + her family would be interested in her?
    I can not see a businessman, lawyer, doctor, or any other professional man stepping into her life.

    The “protect me and fight for me” grow the hell UP!
    You are over 35+, a multi-millionaire. Protect yourself.
    I understand the difficulties with Kayne. But #1. Stop having more children with an unstable partner. She knew what was what, could have easily stopped at 2 kids and left him flat out.

    A comment above made me LOL re: Matchmakers, can you imagine having Kim as a client? Need to charge her 3x the going rate. 😄
    Btw, that pic with everyone in matching outfits, is she leading a cult of pj wearing followers? Ugh.

    • ME says:

      Yeah I mean I guess Kim thinks she’s perfect. I don’t see any guy putting up with her thirst for fame and money. She’ll end up with someone famous in the end. She loves attention way too much to be with a “normal non-famous professional”. She’s full of lies, as always. Look at her track record. The only guy who even came close to perfect was Reggie Bush lol…but he’s a cheater so that’s his big horrible flaw.

      • Christine says:

        The part about having to deal with Kanye for the rest of your life makes Kim a hard pass for any sane person. I don’t care how much money she has, nothing is worth that headache.

  13. Eggbert says:

    She needs an older billionaire like Selma Hayek married

    • Eggbert says:

      Adding on to my comment haha: someone who doesn’t live in America so it’s long distance and they don’t actually see each other much. He’ll just send her expensive gifts but won’t have to deal with her regularly. Not saying this is how Selma’s marriage is just that she married an older billionaire

    • ennie says:

      Salma’s husband is only 4years older than her. he was 43 for her 39 when they got together, thing is he’s looked the same for ages, but he never was “older” for Salma.

  14. iisaidwhatiisaid says:

    Why is kourtney wearing sunglasses at night. I hate that -_-. Kim lives in Kimberland if she thinks a stable guy will want to go anywhere near her. Her list isn’t unattainable per se, it’s just….she seems to want a good guy with a history of mistreating most of the guys she gets with. She has 4 children. I wouldn’t have anything on the “list” except a good role model for my children since everything else would acceptably follow along. She’s thinking of dating a ken doll because she considers herself a Barbie doll.

  15. pk says:

    I bet this whole birthday party was sponsored and cost Kim nothing. That’s probably why she had to call the paps to get them to come and take pics. Is nothing sacred with this family? These are kids who are just trying to enjoy a bday party.

  16. theotherviv says:

    Somebody with Good Taste. Hmmmh.

    • ama1977 says:

      MTE, I snorted when I read that. But at least then one person in the relationship would have good taste. OTOH, would someone with “good taste” date KK?? It’s a quandary.

  17. j.ferber says:

    The new boyfriend would need a very strong ego and very good security (for Kanye). He’d have to have a lot of money and prestige, or Kim wouldn’t be interested. The question is, why would such a man want HER?

  18. Isa says:

    Her tan looks awful. She’s orange.

  19. Claire says:

    Unpopular opinion but I really feel for her. She has been in multiple toxic relationships . She has 4 kids with Kanye and is forced to have a co-parenting relationship with him until their kids are adults and he has shown himself to be jealous, abusive and threatening to other relationships that she engages in. The choice of Pete Davidson of all people after leaving Kanye had me scratching my head, but for whatever reason she seems primed for relationships with somewhat toxic men. Anything we have heard of her seems to indicate that she is kind to people and truly cares about her children. Personally, I can never understand the focus that whole family has on their appearances but she was born into that life, and God bless her, she’s worked hard to become a billionaire. I actually respect her and just hope that she can break the cycle, protect her kids, and find a partner that isn’t toxic or abusive.