Bella Ramsey, of The Last of Us and Game of Thrones fame, came out as nonbinary in GQ UK a few months ago. At that point, there were changes with their pronouns, with the article first having they/them pronouns for Bella, but then later changing the pronouns to she/her with the explanation that Bella didn’t care which pronouns are used and “elected to use she/her for this interview.” In their latest interview with British Vogue, Bella talked more about their nonbinary identity and how they used to feel anxious about asking for the pronouns that feel most truthful to them.

On screen, Ramsey is filled with a compelling self-possession. But in real life, things haven’t been quite so easy. “Although I was confident on set, I was very shy everywhere else,” they say. That shyness made it hard for them to come out as nonbinary earlier this year, while doing publicity for The Last of Us. “I’ve fought that word for so long,” they say. “I didn’t want people to think I was just trying to be trendy. But it’s a very succinct way to describe to people who I am.”

A few months into publicly claiming a nonbinary identity, they’re still finding their feet. “I had a lot of anxiety around pronouns. When The Last of Us first came out, I was like, ‘Everyone just call me “she” because I look like a “she” to you, so it’s fine.’ But now I’m able to vocalise it more, being called ‘they’ is the most truthful thing for me. That’s who I am the most.”

I wonder aloud if going through adolescence in the public eye has put Ramsey under pressure to define their gender and sexuality before they felt ready. They agree, fervently. “You never fully know who you are, it’s ever evolving. But I certainly think that people have gathered that I’m not 100 per cent straight. I’m a little bit wavy, you know? That’s what I like to say.”

If Ramsey has been wavy, then the crew on The Last of Us have been staunch and sturdy in their support. “The costume supervisor would put several different undergarments in my room: a regular bra, a binder, a sports bra,” they explain. “She’d say, ‘You just pick whatever is most comfortable for you today,’ and in the end it was just a binder. There was never anyone pressuring me.” Ramsey also name-checks their co-star Pascal as a source of support, especially since his own sister is trans: “I always felt like he had my back; we take care of each other.”

[From British Vogue]

It makes me sad that Bella initially felt so anxious about asking for their pronouns that they were like “everyone just call me ‘she’, it’s fine.” They’re young and it’s hard to ask for your needs when you’re young, and I imagine that’s especially the case for something as vulnerable as this. As they said, it was also hard for them to ask because they “look like a she to [other people]” and probably also because they still go by a feminine name, complete with an “A” at the end and all. As for people thinking they’re being trendy — I’m sure some jerks might think that, but it’s really just that they’re being true to themselves and no longer conforming to others’ perception of them. And it’s lovely that Bella had so much support from the crew and Pedro (Zaddy) Pascal. I’m glad they had Bella’s back and showed that at least in that setting there was nothing to be anxious about.

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