Last week we covered the TikTok trend called “girl dinner” which is essentially just a new label for the concept of a charcuterie/snack plate for dinner. I loved reading everyone’s comments about what their version of a charcuterie plate looks like. Now that it’s high summer, I’ll do anything to avoid turning on the oven or the range, so this concept seemed like a fun way to eat dinner that doesn’t take too much effort. But the “girl dinner” trend has come under fire for possibly promoting disordered eating because many of the people posting about it are showing small portion sizes (some of those TikToks are satires but others are not). The originator of the trend, TikTok user Olivia Maher, was interviewed by Yahoo about how people are responding to this trend. Yahoo also talked to a registered dietitian about the backlash to the trend.
The “girl dinner” is suddenly everywhere – and its creator is worrying that its original meaning has been misconstrued.
The meal trend — which is essentially a single-serving dinner made up of little bits of different foods like cheese, bread and an assortment of meat, vegetables, fruits or whatever a person might be craving — originated on TikTok in a video by Olivia Maher posted on May 11. Now, the 28-year-old’s original video has 1.3 million views, while inspiring countless recreations under the hashtag #girldinner and even a musical jingle by another creator that’s been used in over 23,000 TikTok videos.
While her original video characterizing her spread of cheeses, bread, grapes and cornichons “girl dinner” was all in good fun, Maher has seen how the trend has gotten carried away by those who are enjoying it and others who are critiquing it as a bridge to dangerous eating habits.
“I totally hear where people are coming from,” she says. But she stands by her creation as one that comes from a love of food, not a way to glamorize restriction.
Instead, she says, “girl dinner” is about “a celebration of food and appreciation and excitement because you’re eating exactly what you want and you’re satisfying all the flavors you’re craving,” she says.
While a “girl dinner” might be convenient for a solo diner, Maher says it’s also something that people can be “excited” about eating — particularly because it rids the person of any expectations to put together something more elaborate and instead just eat what they need and want to.
Brenna O’Malley, a registered dietitian and founder of The Wellful, agrees that that’s part of meal’s appeal. “It’s almost like a pseudo pushing against the idea that you need to have your meal look a certain way,” she tells Yahoo Life. “It can be a way to have different tastes and textures on a plate, which can be really nice. You have something crunchy, something sweet, something savory, whatever it is.”
The main concern when putting a girl dinner together would be considering whether the serving size is enough food, which O’Malley says is a criticism she’s seen on TikTok. “Some people are feeling like this is actually looking like not enough food,” she says, “or that you’re trying to glorify that you’re not having very much food.”
“It can be a bit worrying in that, are we saying this is a girl dinner because all of these messages that we have about women needing to watch what they eat and be super, super particular, and maybe really controlled and portioned around what they’re eating? Is this a way to be more permissive around certain foods? Or is it another way to be super hypervigilant of what you’re eating and have really small amounts of things?” O’Malley points out.
I think short-form video suffers from context collapse similar to what happens on Twitter and that’s why so many TikTok trends end up becoming controversial in some way. But calling something “girl dinner” also makes the trend gendered, and brings up the tangled web around women, food, bodies, and eating. And as I’ve said before, TikTok is full of content that implicitly or explicitly promotes disordered eating. I get why people have concerns about this trend. But what is valuable about the ‘girl dinner’ trend is the promotion of freedom. Your meals don’t have to follow an expected format. Dinner doesn’t have to be the biggest meal of the day. You can create meals and snacks that incorporate both pleasure and nutrition. I think there is this pervasive idea in our culture that women have to be told what and how to eat, like we can’t be trusted to figure out how to nourish our bodies ourselves. And it’s complicated because food is related to socioeconomic circumstances, food deserts/how our cities are designed, patriarchal Eurocentric beauty ideals, time poverty…there are a lot of external factors that affect our diets. (And that’s not even including the pressures and judgments society places on mothers and what they feed their kids.) But I think women can be trusted to follow our instincts and eat in a way that’s nourishing both to our bodies and souls. It’s all the other stuff I just listed that gets in the way.
see I like the “girl dinner” trend because I think it helps people to eat exactly what they want. You want cheese? Put some on your plate. You want a nice crusty bread? Put some slices on your plate. You want meat? etc.
Those foods can be really filling, especially if you are eating them slowly over a half hour or hour period. If someone is having one piece of cheese, two nuts, and a cracker for dinner – okay that’s obviously not going to be enough. But most of the plates I’ve seen look like plenty of food.
I think it’s a particularly freeing and appealing concept if you were raised on the rigid idea of a main + two sides “classic American” dinner. (I wasn’t, but my SO was.) Last night we ate green shakshuka and grilled flatbread, and it was great, but my in-laws would be APPALLED by the idea of serving that for the main meal of the day.
They don’t even approve of just eating a bowl of pasta—where’s the side salad and garlic bread??? Their food always tastes lovely, don’t get me wrong, but the amount of dishes, time, and energy it takes is off the charts.
Related: I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how we will handle our rapidly changing climate, and I think the idea of spending an hour or more in the late afternoon or early evening heating up our homes might become a thing of the past. I don’t know if “girl dinners” are the answer, but I wonder if our collective meal times will shift in the direction of lunches becoming the main meal of the day, or super-late dinners…?
I too love this idea! A little bit of whatever I’m craving without having to cook. I don’t like to eat a big dinner typically. This is very similar to what I do when I can’t get my kids to eat lunch. I call it the “Smiley Face Plate” and I put a bunch of little things in the shape of a smiling face. Little cucumber slices, tomatoes, grapes, cheese, goldfish crackers…..and it ALWAYS gets them to eat.
Yeah, I feel like it is a US thing to have dinner like this and its why people are so shocked that you can put bread, cheese and meat as dinner.
In my country is very normal to have just tunna in some crackers, or just sweet bread and hot chocolate, or a “torta” which is bread with cheese, ham and vegetables.
So yeah, pretty baffled about this being a new thing. Is it really severe in the US that you get a “good looking” dinner? Over here we make a heavy lunch at 3pm or 4pm, maybe that’s the difference
It’s regional, I think. What counts as “normal” in one part of the US might not be true in another. I am the child of a European immigrant, and I live in an area with a lot of my fellow immigrants (mostly of Asian and Hispanic backgrounds), so I’m no expert. However, the American half of my family has lived here for generations, and they eat in what I consider to be a classic American style: a light breakfast, a medium lunch, and a large dinner, eaten sometime between 6:00 and 8:00. But in my state, WA, only about half of households have A/C, and the idea of cooking a large meal at like 5:30 sounds increasingly unpleasant as our summers get hotter and hotter.
We often eat snack type meals.
Personally, I think the concept of sitting down to eat dinner promotes disordered eating. It’s unnatural to me, to pile one’s plate & sit & eat all at one time.
We don’t sit at a table, it’s a relaxing time for us. Manners can be taught no matter what circumstances, & yes my kids can properly use a knife & fork. Eating at a table is superfluous to teaching etiquette.
JMO in my own house, so don’t @ me how wrong I am. Do it your way in your house.
I love that you do this. It’s what I prefer but felt weird about it.
I like this trend because it feels empowering – do what feels good for you!
Americans have such weird ideas about portion sizes. Just because restaurants have to serve their entrees on platter-sized plates, doesn’t mean that every meal has to be so huge.
IMO, the most healthy & least disordered thing you can do is to eat in a way that’s natural, enjoyable, and satisfying to you. So yeah, good for you for finding a way to eat that works for you and your family!
Is there nothing people can’t bitch about endlessly? It’s not like this woman invented food and nobody said this is the only thing one should eat. People talk about “old lady pearl-clutching”, but I’ve never seen so much pearl-clutching as I do now.
^^This^^. Precisely this. People will bitch about anything. I’ve dealt with disordered eating over the course of my lifetime (I’m 61). Do things trigger me? Yes. Can the rest of the world be expected to know my triggers and never trip them? No, of course not. Girl dinners are how I have been eating for years – and not the two almonds and a cracker kind. What do I want? Is my plate balanced with nutrients? Are there treats on the plate? Am I satisfied when I finish? For me, it takes the pressure off of the preparing of the meal – the sitting down to eat it, etc. People will find fault with anything and others expect the rest of the world to conform to their narrow needs.
100%. People need to make their PSA’s on challenges that are actually harmful to people’s health/has resulted in death.
Tons of “girl dinners” look healthier than a packet of ramen and an egg, which has found acceptability as a fast meal. Why not this?
I came down here to write something similar and saw your comment. Because why???? The ‘girl dinner’ trend is just not that serious. I’m so tired.
In France the cheese and charcuterie plate is meant as a pre dinner snack to go with your aperitif drinks so the whole labeling of this as a girl’s dinner is just odd to me.
I agree about labeling of this as a girl’s dinner and how how do you creat something that already existed?
Honestly this is what I need right now. I’m seven weeks postpartum and keep forgetting to eat! Truly does not cross my mind (baby is exclusively formula fed). And then the thought of eating a meal my husband makes – tragic. His mother believes salt is the only seasoning, but he’s trying his best.
Maybe if I actually snacked on some tasty things that actually appeal, I would reintroduce eating as a priority in my life. And if it were something I didn’t feel like I had to eat quickly or in full so that it didn’t get cold. I don’t have time to tuck in for meals these days.
Anyone have tips for a first-time mom making sure she gets her calories in? Thanks!
If you are limiting calories but need protein and nutrients, I like Premier protein drinks. They actually taste good. If you are severely lacking calories then Boost make a formula “Very High Calorie Boost” which is 560 calories per carton.
Raw stuff – like a tartare! Soft cheese! Unwashed fruit right off the vine! Lol I enjoyed everything I avoided (for the most part) during pregnancy.
Also entirely formula fed.
Congratulations! And I wish you and baby all the best!
Even if your husband can’t cook, he can still slice cheese and mix up a bowl of nuts, he can wash fresh fruit and then put everything in the fridge in single serving containers (or whatever your preferred healthy snack foods might be). When you do have a moment to sit – as soon as you put the baby down for a nap, grab a few snacks and eat something.
I don’t think I sat down for an actual meal for the first six months of my child’s life. I just snacked my way through (usually while breastfeeding, but sometimes while Hubby was giving the baby a bottle or the child was daring to nap somewhere other than on my shoulder).
Be well.
When I was young and single I would sometimes eat cottage cheese just standing in the kitchen.
Now I’m get older and if I eat what would be considered a “normal sized lunch”, I would be fighting to stay awake all afternoon. As we age our bodies just need less food.
This is a great post. The problem is not with the portion sizes. The problem is with the name “girl dinner”. They should just find another name! How about just plain dinner? Btw, males can have disordered eating too. This doesn’t get talked about enough, or at all.
In my house it’s called snack night. A little of this, a little of that, no real plan, just what sounds good.
Currently, I’m craving crudité and dips, a bit of cold meat (chicken or brisket), with strawberries as the treat. It’s a perfect meal for our hotter than usual temps. It’s what I’m eating at both meals (I eat twice a day because that’s what works for my body).
i’ve always called it toddler lunch when i do it (even if it’s for dinner).
Or it could be called a “grown-ass woman’s dinner,” since it was originally posted by a 28-year-old grown-ass woman. That is, if it has to be gendered at all.
Exactly FYI! I commented below that calling it “girl” bothered me, and you’ve PERFECTLY summed up why.
I like the no-cook, lots of variety, eat what you like aspect of this trend. I wish it was called something else, though. Calling it “girl” dinner rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah I think it’s the name that is rubbing people the wrong way. Otherwise, eat what you want! You don’t have to have a big ass dinner. You can eat small meals throughout the day and be healthy. I don’t like big meals at all.
People on social media seem to just jump to extremes and think in black and white without fail. In this example – did anyone say this was every dinner, every day? Could it be possible that sometimes a person isnt too hungry some nights so they want something easy/light? Disordered eating is so varied and so tricky – you could post a photo of a full meal and then proceed to not eat it! or not all of it! or maybe you purge it! (I dont condone this, I’m just saying you cant tell from a single photo)
When my niece and nephews were young and still picky eaters my sister would occasionally make “European Dinner” which all 3 LOVED.
It was slices of crusty bread, fresh fruit, cheeses, and assorted deli meats. The kids got to make their own plates and usually went back for seconds. It was the one meal all 3 would eat.
They are all grown up now but still talk about “European Dinner” whenever my sister makes a charcuterie board for a family gathering.
Sitting down for a meal of the more traditional template is our ritual as a couple, but we don’t eat other meals together much even when we’re both home. It’s fairly common for my lunches to be snacky and like this “girl dinner” trend.
My dad swears he has always managed to stay fit unlike many of his male friends who developed the huge dad bod by “having breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.” So in our household dinner wasn’t a big deal or meal unless they were entertaining so I find Girl Dinner a good concept.
I eat very much the same way. Dinner is almost always my smallest meal of the day. Usually because I eat breakfast and then a pretty decent-sized lunch. So dinner for me is usually a grazing/snack type of meal. A charcuterie board is a great way to make sure the snack aren’t just junk food but are a varied bit of nutritional value.
This is why I am not a fan of Tiktok or short form content overall. All context and nuance is left out because there is no space for it. I have eaten like this for years. I LOVE a good Shark Cootchie board (iykyk). It’s one of my favorite things to eat/make/shop for. And it can be a LOT of food for me. I know the issue of disordered eating needs to be discussed but also – why do we as Americans think we need huge portions of food to be satisfied?
I was raised like this. my mom didnt really cook and neither do i. also my childhood home didnt have AC. but we always called it Snickety Snacks. I suspect girl dinner might be catchier.
@Lisa – I LOVE that your family calls it Snickerty Snacks! If you don’t mind I’m going to borrow your term 😊
that would be awesome!
I prefer Snickety Snacks to Girl Dinner, too!
I was raised in a household with a type 1 diabetic so I feel that helped instill pretty good eating habits from a young age. I’m 49, I’ve been doing IF (16-8) for about 6 years and it’s worked great for me. People should just do whatever is right for them. This name “girl dinner” bugs…
When my kids were little I did something similar when I didn’t have it in me to cook a meal. I put all the different components in a muffin tin so each food had it’s own little spot. We called it a monkey platter because I just put it out on the table and they would swoop in like little monkeys, grab an apple slice or whatever and go play. It was plenty of food for them and I would re-fill if needed. I always made a small plate for myself that would definitely be considered “girl dinner.” I’m 45 and am seriously so tired of anything and everything that is geared towards women and femmes getting scrutinized to death. Just let us eat our little plates! Maybe we make 2 of them! Go pick on Joe Rogan for once.
I love the Pinterest trend: the “snackle box,” which uses a fishing tackle box for charcuterie on the beach. I keep meaning to do it during our annual beach vacation and then I forget to buy the new tackle box.
My husband’s English mum used to insist on very formal dinners. One summer evening we insisted on doing an American-style picnic in her garden and we dragged her dining table outside, but she still heated the dinner plates.
I preferred her lunches: bread, cheese, pickles, fruit. We turned her lunches into our dinners, and my kids loved them.
How is that not enough food? Multiple plates and heaping bowls.
I’m Eastern European and my husband is British, so we had very different upbringings around food. I was a light cold breakfast, big lunch and a late light dinner whereas he was hot breakfast, light cold lunch and a big dinner. We have thrown everything out the window and now have our big meal at 5.30 with whatever we fancy. Charcuterie, pasta, rotisserie chicken platter, whatever and we have everything in our living room. Both our families are appalled, but frankly, I hated sit-down meals when I was young and now I can eat my dinner any way I want!