Elon Musk might need surgery before his cage match with Mark Zuckerberg

Back in June, Elon Musk threw a tantrum about the launch of Threads, Meta’s new social media platform that was introduced to rival Twitter X. Is anyone here on Threads? I downloaded it but haven’t really used it yet. Anyway, Grimes’ (maybe) ex-boyfriend was throwing a hissy fit while X-ing with his Blue Check Bros when he ended up challenging jiu-jitsu enthusiast Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match. Lizard Boy responded (via Threads) by saying “Send me location.”

After the press cycle for that machismo died down, details were scarce other than the cage match is supposedly taking place in Las Vegas and being streamed via Twitter X, a site that has fallen so far since Mr. Free Speech took over that it could barely handle a couple hundred thousand people watching Meatball Ron’s presidential campaign announcement. Well, now we have a bit of an update. While talking to each other across their competing platforms (ugh), Musk suggested that they donate the fight’s proceeds to charity and Zuckerberg called his bluff by throwing out August 26 as a fight date. Musk, a very serious person who did a live stream on Friday to prove he could lift 45lb weights, responded on Sunday, saying, “Umm idk, I may need surgery!”

Elon Musk says he may need to get surgery before a proposed “cage match” with Mark Zuckerberg.

The two tech billionaires seemingly agreed to an in-person face-off in late June. It’s unclear if a physical fight will actually end up happening, but Musk and Zuckerberg have continued to fuel interest in the potential match through online jabs at one another — most recently on Sunday, when Musk said the fight would be live-streamed on his social media site X, formerly known as Twitter.

Musk added that the fight’s proceeds would go to a charity for veterans. On his Threads social media account, Zuckerberg responded: “Shouldn’t we use a more reliable platform that can actually raise money for charity?” In a follow-up post, the CEO of Facebook’s parent company Meta said he wasn’t “holding his breath” for a fight.

“I’m ready today. I suggested Aug 26 when he first challenged, but he hasn’t confirmed,” wrote Zuckerberg, who is actually trained in mixed martial arts and posted about completing his first jiu-jitsu tournament earlier this year. “I love this sport and will continue competing with people who train no matter what happens here.”

Earlier Sunday, Musk said was training for the fight by lifting weights. He later addressed the timing of the fight — noting the date “is still in flux” due to a scheduled MRI and the potential of surgery.

“I’m getting an MRI of my neck & upper back tomorrow,” Musk wrote Sunday night. “May require surgery before the fight can happen. Will know this week.”

[From HuffPost]

Hahahahahahaha what a tool. I mean, they’re both tools, but just like with that $44 billion he spent on Twitter, Musk is writing checks he can’t cash. Of course once a date gets proposed, he suddenly may need surgery. What’s his next excuse? He overslept? He thinks he hears his mommy calling and has to go home? Alien abduction? He has to wash his hair?

I don’t really care if this happens or not. I guess on one hand, we could see a smarmy billionaire get knocked out and it will be meme’d into oblivion. But on the other hand, this whole thing is pointless and dumb. At this point, does anybody other than the Blue Check Bros really want or expect this cage match to actually happen?

Photos credit: Avalon.red, Backgrid, Cover Images and via Instagram

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37 Responses to “Elon Musk might need surgery before his cage match with Mark Zuckerberg”

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  1. K says:

    My god .I won’t ask if it can get anymore pathetic and stupid cause with Elon that’s a given. What is WRONG with these stunted tech teens massive egos tiny joysticks?

  2. Ceej says:

    Elon Musk basically likes to think he is Batman and is starting to realise he’s actually the barely villainous Clock King. Not even making it into the movie with your mediocrity buddy. Sorry.

    But he’s giving his fans a nice distraction from how terrible X is and how much they are becoming worse off while Elon gets richer.

    Not a fan of either. Hope Zuckerberg knocks his right on his a$$ and embarrasses him.

    • Lizzie Bathory says:

      I didn’t think I could dislike Elon more but then he made me root for Mark Zuckerberg. Ugh.

  3. Anne says:

    Ugh I’m so embarrassed for them. Elon, you’re a pudgy middle aged man who wrecked a major tech company and hasn’t produced a new car model since 2016. Zuck, you’re also a middle aged man who managed to steal one good idea. Just, like, go AWAY.

  4. BlueNailsBetty says:

    This situation, douchebag white male billionaire vs douchebag white male billionaire, perfectly encapsulates the toxic white supremacy masculinity that is killing the planet and humanity.

    I know the fight won’t happen but if it did I hope they would both slip and fall and hurt themselves in the most comical way.

  5. MinorityReport says:

    I said this before, there is NO WAY Zuckerberg is going to allow this to happen and be streamed on twitter and not one of his platforms.

    I’m actually down to watch. Money is on Facebook dude.

    • AlpineWitch says:

      If there was an option for seeing both of them lode, I’d watch the match. Or a match to the end and they beat the crap out of each other and knock themselves off.

      I cannot stand both of these dudes, no offence to dudes…

  6. Surgery? Is he getting a brain transplant or actually having a brain put in? He could use it either way.

    • Valerie says:

      That was my thought too. Fix your brain before your neck!! But I would much rather see Elon fight Putin, but that little jackass wouldn’t fight any fight that wasn’t fixed.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      @ Susan Collins, has anyone mentioned to Melon Musk that the Six Million Dollar Man was a fictional character??? That he can’t actually have surgery to become the Six Million Dollar Man???? Though given inflation, I am pretty certain that it would cost much more than 6 million nowadays…..

      Maybe Melon could sell some Tesla stock perhaps????

      (couldn’t sell X stock as that is more worthless than the paper it’s printed on.)

  7. Chaine says:

    Next, Elon will be saying that August 26 doesn’t work for him because he already has plans that day for a date with his boyfriend, George Glass.

  8. Mireille says:

    You know the end of the world is coming when 2 billionaire douchebags are amping up for a laughable cage match. I can’t root for either here. Ok, well, that’s a lie, I hate Elon Musk and X. I’m hoping McDonald’s eating geek boy takes out the wannabe Iron Man.

  9. Eurydice says:

    Oh, I want this to happen. Zuckerberg made billions encouraging people to sit on their asses and live in the cellar and Musk is an entitled tool of the highest order. I want to see them both dragged out like moles blinking in the sunlight, to experience a real fight with real pain – none of this virtual nonsense. I’m not grumpy today, who’s grumpy today?

    • maisie says:

      I loathe Zuckerberg because he STOLE the concept which made him billions AND because he then turned around and SOLD all his users’ information to anyone who would pay him, thus making him even richer. And he’s a Trump-lover and as such obviously a racist and misogynist (the latter was obvious in The Social Network). I loathe Musk because he grew up in South Africa during apartheid, is a life-long racist, and his family made millions on the backs of poor Africans and other people of color. Both of these men think they’re far, far more intelligent and witty than they are. I hope they knock heads really hard during this “cage match” and suffer irreparable brain injuries. They richly deserve them.

  10. Giddy says:

    I’m sure that Musk is serious about this cage match except…”Ow ow ow I stubbed my toe!” Or, “Ow ow ow I got a paper cut.” Or, “Can I wear my Ironman costume to the fight?” Or “I’d love to do this but my board, doctor, insurance are against it. I’m very disappointed as I wanted to wipe the floor with MZ’s ass, but I’m just too valuable to risk damage” How about “ I’m a bone deep coward. My mouth is writing checks my body can’t cash.”

  11. CC says:

    “Like everyone else I assumed Miles Bron was a complicated genius. But why?” – Benoit Blanc

  12. Hyacinth Bucket says:

    I despise them both, but Musk could save himself a surgery and do both in one go. He will need one after the fight anyway.

  13. Nicole says:

    Not to disparage his weakness but 45 lb kettlebell isn’t very much if you are in good shape. What this tells me is that he used bad form and messed himself up. Given his money, I am surprised that he’s not putting in 2 hours daily. A barbell bar is 45lbs on its own. IJS. I’m saying this as a 49 y/o woman who gets the gym MAYBE twice a week.

  14. Jaded says:

    I hope it’s surgery to sew his mouth shut. Wankers…both of them.

  15. BothSidesNow says:

    To answer your question Rosie, I refuse to download Threads as it’s conditional. IF you happen to delete Threads, it also deletes your IG account as well which is truly a dick move on Zuckerbergs part. MZ can’t simply stand by and allow other successful platforms to exist unless he buys all of them to create him massive monopoly of control and power. No, he can’t accept anyone to have success that would tarnish his propensity of control. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

    All that money between these 2 douche bags and not one bit of common decency between them.

    • Rosie says:

      @BothSidesNow Woah, I had NO idea they were tied together like that. Thank you for letting me know.

    • AlpineWitch says:

      Thank you for this piece of very useful information 💗

      Now I’m sure I won’t ever download it, s**k it up Zuckerberg boy…

  16. Rnot says:

    What are the odds that he’s demanding that his neuralink staff implant kung fu skills into his brain?

  17. Beverley says:

    Bwahahaha! Wanna bet Musk will have the surgery and back out of the fight, citing warnings from his surgeon and doctors? This fight will never happen.

  18. Molly says:

    I’m not proud of it, but I have a Friends reference for any occasion and this definitely has “The One With the Ultimate Fighting Champion” vibes. And yes, I’d probably watch this stupidity.

  19. Gaaah says:

    I prefer to see a pistol duel at dawn between these two idiots.
    I knew it wouldn’t be long for Mush to find a whiny excuse to not fight. While I don’t like Zuck, I hate Mush more.

  20. NeoCleo says:

    What a bunch of dillholes.