It’s genuinely hilarious to watch the Windsors, the British media and the Tory government go back and forth among themselves about “royal tours.” Last year, there seemed to finally be some kind of consensus on the fact that royal tours had outlived their usefulness, especially following Prince William and Kate’s disastrous Caribbean Flop Tour. It was during that tour where we really got to see the whole thing in stark terms: Will and Kate see their jobs as “dressing up in colonialist cosplay and performing skits amongst ‘the natives’ for an entirely domestic/British audience.”

Their Caribbean tour was such a disaster that Kate apparently refuses to travel overseas these days, and William has become solely obsessed with spending time in America. Add to all of that, King Charles doesn’t want to send these two idiots out on the world stage. He knows, better than most, how incapable they are. And yet, the media desperately wants Will and Kate to perform their colonialist skits, and the British government is desperate for some soft-diplomacy from the royals. So, they’re all damned if they do, damned if they don’t. It’s glorious. So, this column appeared in the Daily Express this week: “Prince William and Kate need to schedule a royal tour – and one move guarantees success.”

Princess Kate and Prince William have consistently proven themselves to be two of the most popular members of the Royal Family, both at home and abroad. In the past few years however they have been noticeably absent from the world stage, naturally in part due to COVID-19 travel restrictions and their three children all starting school, meaning they need to be at home more. It is also true that their last big royal tour to the Caribbean did not exactly play out as planned, with many criticising it as a symbol of past colonialist sentiment. But it is now time for the Waleses to shrug off these concerns and see the world again, to nurture important links with the Commonwealth and promote themselves as the future of the Firm for all people to see.

Diplomacy and maintaining international friendships is of course the major reason for these visits, but it cannot be overstated how seeing the Prince and Princess of Wales as normal and accessible future monarchs will help the Firm boost its standing in all countries they visit.

It was this relatability factor which seemed to be the sticking point when it came to the Waleses last tour, a trip to Belize, Jamaica and the Bahamas in March 2022. While they were their usual charming selves, an unfortunate image of them greeting Jamaican locals behind a chained fence was slammed as them showcasing their position as colonisers, as the local people made a stand for independence. One planned trip in Belize was called off due to protest fears, and everywhere they went rumblings of reparations for slavery followed them.

It seemed that the royals in this part of the world had come to be seen as at best outdated, and at worst a symbol of the tragic and painful history of racism and colonisation that the Caribbean nations wish to put behind them. Australia too has seen a growing movement for republicanism, with another referendum on the question all but guaranteed if Anthony Albanese wins another term in office.

Which is why it is so vital for them to start touring the world again and promoting the Wales brand as an international one once more. By embarking on more royal tours they can continue to show how the monarchy is moving forward and listening to the people, rather than being subdued by one misjudged photograph. If the royals want to stay relevant they need to show themselves out among all their people, getting to know them and all the countries they represent. With Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis in tow, the Wales clan would be a royal force to be reckoned with.

[From The Daily Express]

“Rather than being subdued by one misjudged photograph.” The Caribbean Tour didn’t flop because of “one misjudged photograph.” They had already been flopping before they even arrived in Jamaica, they had already been criticized and protested and they had already made colonialist asses out of themselves. The chain-link fence photos were just the icing on the white supremacist cake. Anyway, in case you need the point underlined, the media is now openly advising Will and Kate to travel to “white countries” with their children and perform family skits so that the media can have the content it needs. This is more chain-yanking – the invisible contract needs to be serviced, and “Kate’s bandaged fingers” and “lies about George’s test-taking” are not placating their media masters.

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Photos courtesy of Instar.