I’m not sure why Hello! magazine thought anyone would care, but they have an exclusive new interview and photo shoot with the young waitress who had been dating Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood – that is, until he tried to choke her in the street, got arrested for assault and then dumped her. Ekaterina Ivanova, who Hello! says is 21 but other outlets say is 20, gave some amusing details on her weird relationship with Wood, and why it’s over. Ivanova states the obvious: Wood is a drunken old man who needs more of a babysitter than a girlfriend. But she also has some unintentionally hilarious stories about him, including his attempt to surprise her with a birthday cake in a restaurant, where he was too wasted to sing the words to “Happy Birthday.”

“The whole thing started off as a fairytale. But then it felt like an evil fairytale. When Ronnie and I moved into a tower, my friends were laughing and saying I was like the princess trapped in the tower. He went all Jekyll and Hyde. I’d be trapped there with an evil goblin king.”

…she is far from the “devastated” young woman some reports have suggested. “I feel like I’ve got myself back,” said the Russian-born artist with a perfect English accent. “I feel reborn. I didn’t realize how drowned I was in the whole situation until I got out of it.”

What attracted you to him?
I’ve always liked guys in bands, skinny and rugged, and he was the ultimate one to me. I was attracted by the fact that he was a musician and painted. I thought he looked like he had lived, but he had lovely hair and was quite trim, quite manly…He was very friendly and charming and could make you feel really special.

You must have realized there was a big age gap…
I didn’t think about it. He acts so young. When we met, it was like we were the same age. And he stayed there, while I’ve grown into a woman.

What was life like with Ronnie? Was he romantic?
We had amazing times, it wasn’t all bad. At first, I liked going on nice holidays and stuff. He surprised me with a holiday to Rome when I woke up one day. Then, one the day of my birthday, he woke me up with champagne and caviar, but the thing is I had a couple of glasses and Ronnie carried on drinking. We went to a restaurant that he booked, and they brought out a really beautiful cake and all the waiters were singing “Happy Birthday.” But he was so drunk, it was really awkward.

It has been suggested that you are a “gold-digger…”
I’m not materialistic at all. I’m now living in a small flat with friends and loving it. I like getting on the tube and all those things.

I wanted to go backpacking around South America and Ronnie said, “No girl of mine goes backpacking. I started thinking about the future and I thought, I really want to meet someone and experience things together, like saving up for a mortgage.

Did Ronnie’s drinking get worse towards the end of your relationship?
Not worse, I just think he couldn’t handle it so well. Even if he wasn’t nasty, he would start repeating the same jokes and I found them really irritating.

So you drank a lot together?
When we first met, I drank a lot, but then I just couldn’t keep up. He would sit there and drink and I wouldn’t feel the need to. I would say, “You can carry on drinking, but all you are doing is pushing me away.”

Why did things go wrong? Was it the drink?
Yes, and another main cause is that I grew up. I grew out of him. I just thought, “What is the point of being with an older man if he acts about 12? He was like a child with tantrums when he was drunk, throwing water bottles and doing impressions of my voice. It was like trying to keep a child under control.

…Did you start to understand how Jo might have felt?
I have a lot of respect for Jo now, because he’s a handful. I don’t know how she did it. I couldn’t. She seems to be better off without him, way happier. But who can he live with if she can’t do it and I can’t do it?

[From Hello! Magazine, print edition, December 21, 2009]

I already thought Ron Wood was a pathetic mess before. But when a 21-year-old girls outgrows you and thinks you’re childish- you’ve got some serious issues. I hope that both women are done with this old fool, and his next stop is a real, inpatient rehab facility. And let’s hope this is the last we hear from this little girl – at least, on this topic. I have a feeling she is going to wind up on one of those British reality shows, though. Based on the photo spread that goes along with the interview, she certainly likes to have her picture taken.