Embed from Getty Images
Drew Carey is a good dude. He quietly paid for striking writers’ meals at two LA diners for nearly all of the WGA strike last year. The grand total came to a whopping $1 million, much to the chagrin of his accountant. But Carey kept picking up the tab because, A) it was the right thing to do, and B) he was in the position to do so thanks to all the writers he’s worked with throughout his career. As I’ve said before, the man is a mensch. And mensches deserve to treat themselves when they can, which is what Carey did over the weekend for one night of Phish’s four-day residency at the fancy schmancy Sphere in Las Vegas. Did he enjoy the jam? Well my friends, he ended a five-month break from Twitter to tout the show in some very, um, colorful language, shall we say. Fair warning — I recommend getting down most of your morning coffee before reading:
This past weekend, jam-band legends Phish played a special 4/20 residency at the fancy new Las Vegas venue Sphere, becoming the first band since U2 to play in front of all those fancy screens. From all the reports that I saw, Phish fans were blown away by both the sounds and the trippy visuals. One of those fans was Drew Carey, the genial funnyman and Price Is Right host. Carey was at Sphere on Sunday night to take in the final performance of Phish’s residency, and he used some descriptive terms to say how much he enjoyed the experience.
Before yesterday, Drew Carey’s Twitter account had been dormant since November, when he announced that he was leaving the platform over Elon Musk’s leadership. Apparently, though, the Phish experience was enough to get him to break that legendary silence. Yesterday, Carey returned to Twitter to say, “I would give you all my money, stick my d–k in a blender and swear off pussy for the rest of my life in exchange for this… This is what it must feel like to cum with a pussy. Because if it’s even close I’m flaying to wherever tomorrow and getting the best pussy money can buy. I don’t need to be a man no more of it means I can feel like this all the time.”
This definitely looks like the work of Twitter hackers, but Phish fans saw Carey at Sphere on Sunday, and he seemed to be enjoying himself. Here’s the full text of Carey’s review:
#Phish at the #Sphere
I swear I just talked to God
I would give you all my money, stick my d–k in a blender and swear off pussy for the rest of my life in exchange for this.
Bro I met God tonight for real. I feel like I just got saved by Jesus no lie
I’m still melted.
This is what it must feel like to cum with a pussy
Because if it’s even close I’m flaying to wherever tomorrow and getting the best pussy money can buy. I don’t need to be a man no more of it means I can feel like this all the time
F–king keep it bro if I can get this feeling instead
That was God at work or something
Like it felt like I was being saved by Jesus no lie
I think he liked it. Phish fans are a very dedicated bloc who self-identify under sub-factions and enjoy live concerts in a variety of ways. Apparently Carey is a new Phish Head. That or he reeeeeeally likes LED light shows. Or the audio-visual immersive experience truly is something that cannot be captured in short online videos. While personally the music of Phish doesn’t do it for me, I definitely understand how the sheer scope and shape of the venue makes for a spectacular live performance. The kind of overwhelming, awe-inspiring, once-in-a-lifetime night that inspires poetry the likes of, “I would give you all my money, stick my d–k in a blender and swear off pussy for the rest of my life in exchange for this.” Eat your heart out, Shakespeare! Call me quaint, but my favorite line of Carey’s sonnet is “I’m still melted.” Glad you had a good melt, Drew. But could someone please confirm that Carey made it back home safe and sound? In solid form?
#Phish at the #Sphere
I swear I just talked to God
I would give you all my money, stick my dick in a blender and swear off pussy for the rest of my life in exchange for this.
Bro I met God tonight for real. I feel like I just got saved by Jesus no lie pic.twitter.com/Wci1OdUp3F— ʎǝɹɐƆ ʍǝɹᗡ (@DrewFromTV) April 22, 2024
I think this very nice and good human was a rather high this weekend. I’m glad he had a blast!
Drew is a lovely man with an interesting history. If he actually posted this (which seems doubtful), there are media apps other than Twitter. The apartheid muskrat can go broke and kick rocks.
Glad you enjoyed your drugs, Drew!
Oh man I was at the Thursday & Sunday shows and can confirm his sentiments are accurate!
It was an experience sober or on performance enhancers & I highly recommend catching a show there, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before! Fully immersive you could hear the sound moving all around you – different things in each ear at times. The visuals? Holy moly! So much 3D imagery, it felt like they were coming through you. My brain still feels a little mushy.
I highly recommend checking out more social media posts on the shows, they did 4 shows all +3 hours, all completely different set lists & graphics and I probably killed my phone storage with all the video I took
Agree-lucky you got to go! Been into Phish since early 90s (husband too) and we would’ve been there but we moved this weekend. We were SO bummed when they announced and we realized it was smack in the middle of our move. We watched all 4 nights via webcast and WOW-never seen anything like that and can’t wait to go the next time! Friends who went said it was beyond all expectations. Glad Drew had such an experience! Vanessa Hudgins was there super pregnant – she’s a die hard fan too! Lots of other Phish fan celebs went as well. Their music isn’t everyone’s thing but those visuals and graphics would’ve impressed anyone!
That is not where I thought this was going! Thank goodness I did not have my cup of coffee to my lips!
Drew wasn’t hacked. 😂😂😂 I do question if he was on some form of MDMA.
I love his honesty and vigor. Straight from the horses mouth.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwMsoKr/
Wow! Sounds like a great show but I would like to know if the ladies thought it was good as sex 🤣
It was! I think most people there of any gender would agree. It was really something special. We say that about every show but these were mind blowing. I have a friend who’s been to over 450 phish shows (yes I know – I’ve ONLY been to 50) and he said just top 10 all time just based off the experience.
Good to know! There is nothing better than going to a concert experience like that! I’m so impressed to hear that The Sphere concerts may be worth going to – depending on the artist
I saw U2 there and felt roughly the same. It’s since been acknowledged (and I agree) that U2 didn’t use the venue to its full advantage. Phish clearly did. It was still one of the best shows I ever experienced and a tough act to follow. Glad Drew enjoyed. I’m hearing it’s been a wild party so far. 🤣
He was on “After Midnight” last night. I usually don’t watch, but I stayed on when I noticed he was on with Weird Al Yankovic and Thomas Lennon. He went into a monologue about it that was mostly beeped out. The best part was watching the reactions of everyone else, who then worked it into their own bits afterwards so they couldn’t cut it from the show. I wish I could see it uncensored.
I’ve seen Drew’s stand up a few times over the course of his career, and he’s like Bob Saget in that he can bring it onstage. He’s also extremely kind in person.
Phish can do that. They are amazing live and the lights are simply magical. I too have had a life-changing experience seeing Phish.