Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck arrived separately for Samuel’s school graduation

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were at the same place at the same time yesterday, but they were not photographed together, nor did they arrive together. They both attended Samuel Affleck’s elementary school graduation on Wednesday and both of them got dressed up for it too. Is that a thing? Elementary-school graduations are now events to which parents need to wear suits and dresses? Jennifer Garner was obviously there as well, as was Ben’s mother Chris Anne Boldt, who has seemingly been in town this week specifically for Samuel’s graduation. Ben drove himself, and J.Lo was driven to the graduation separately.

In the past month or so, Ben and J.Lo have been showing up pretty consistently for their stepchildren’s events. J.Lo went to Violet’s graduation stuff too, and she reportedly took Violet out for a special lunch. Ben turned out for some of Emme’s end-of-school events too, I think. So, no matter what’s going on with Ben and J.Lo’s marriage, they’re really prioritizing the kids and making sure they still show up for the kids’ big events. I keep thinking about J.Lo’s now canceled tour, and wondering if she would have had the time to do all of these family events if her tour was still on.

Reportedly, the Garner-Afflecks had a big lunch at Baltaire in Brentwood after the graduation. I don’t know if J.Lo was included, but she was seen entering Ben’s rented Brentwood home after the graduation ceremony, and after she did a costume change. Yeah… no one is saying divorce, and I hope Ben and J.Lo just spend the summer with their kids and with each other.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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71 Responses to “Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck arrived separately for Samuel’s school graduation”

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  1. Jan says:

    When, not IF this Circus is over, JLO is going to drop Ben’s children, just like she did Arod’s.

    • Kateee says:

      I don’t see anything but good things about JLo being a supportive former stepmother and how close all four kids are? I’ve never been a stepparent so I can’t imagine what it must be like to maintain a relationship with someone else’s teenagers as an ex-step. Doesn’t sound easy tho.

    • Dk says:

      You only mention JLo.
      Are you assuming Ben will continue to show up for her kids? And if so, on what grounds are you guessing he will be more involved as a former-step parent than she will?
      Otherwise it seems kind of gendered to make judgmental predictions about JLo being a bad stepmom but giving Ben a pass or not even considering his obligations as a step parent

      • equality says:

        A-rod also. Where is the mention of him keeping/not keeping in touch with JLo’s kids?

    • Lindsay says:

      This is correct. I executed adoptions, social studies for the courts and brief therapy for families.
      This behavior of attendance is all show for our ‘multi-hyphenate’
      Her playbook has long been showing up anywhere/everywhere with photogs snapping her every move 📸

      Ben sure has the ‘concerned/serious/good dad’ facial vibe down, perfectly.

      Will it be today that a random civil court receives an agreed order divorce petition ?
      What are they waiting for.

  2. manda says:

    I like her j.lo’s dress in the top pic and her white jeans in the bottom pic.

    I “graduated” elementary school in ’88, I think, and we did not have any sort of ceremony. Nor did we have one at the end of middle school. I guess in the olden days people just didn’t care about those milestones. I can’t say that I feel I missed out, I was more just happy that it was the last day of school. We had a party, for sure!

    • BayTampaBay says:

      Private-fee paying schools in the US tend to have a graduation every time you move to the next level; Kindergarten, Middle School, High School

    • Nicole says:

      I dunno. I went to public school and graduated 8th grad in 88. Mom and Dad wore suits and dresses. It was an affair held at the local Junior College. I’m guessing it’s up to the school and the district’s discretion.

      • DaveW says:

        Same…I went to public school all the way through and we had a formal graduation from middle school (8th grade) with gowns, no caps. In our case the high school was a different district and combined with another town so we were in a sense graduating from our town education system.

        I remember my younger siblings having a pre school graduation but that was it until the same middle school grad ceremony.

    • nutella toast says:

      I like the dress but combined with the other creamy dress from dinner a few nights ago…is Jen in her own sad beige era? I think they’re both beautiful, but it’s just a lot of neutrals happening (pants and tops too).

    • Becks1 says:

      I graduated 5th grade in 1993 and we had a big graduation ceremony. My mom couldn’t make it because of a work trip (which was funny because at the time, she never traveled for work, I remember she had a meeting in Detroit lol), and I have never let her forget it 🤣🤣🤣

    • BeanieBean says:

      My mom graduated from 8th grade/middle school back in 1943 or so, she’s got a lovely certificate. Things change, stay the same, change again.

    • Nic919 says:

      I had a kindergarten graduation and a grade 8 graduation decades ago. It wasn’t super fancy although I am told the grade 8 dresses have gotten fancier over the years.

    • Jenn says:

      I graduated public elementary school in the early ’90s, and the only reason I have even a vague recollection of it is because I’d previously assumed it was an informal non-event, had neglected to dress up or invite my parents, and then was surprised to see other cheering parents in the cafetorium

  3. Dee(2) says:

    Eh, if they are trying to keep it consistent and peaceful for the kids can’t knock them for that. It’s not like any of the kids are young enough to be confused about what’s going on. And I didn’t realize that people didn’t dress up for graduations. We definitely did when I graduated in the late ’90s from elementary school. In fact, your new outfit for luncheon and for graduation was something you planned with your friends for half the year.

  4. Serenity says:

    I never liked Ben. I didn’t really care about JLo either (I’ve been firmly in Jen’s camp) but since they married I have been rooting for them to make it this time. I still hope they can. I guess I’m a sucker for second chances; wish I had had one of my own, you know? 🥺🥲

    • Jaded says:

      I did and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It took 35 years but when we got back together in 2015 we were far smarter and more understanding than we were back in 1979.

      • Embee says:

        This is so romantic! I would love to hear more about it sometime! You should write a short story about it!

      • Serenity says:

        @Jaded: I’m so happy for you guys! Wow 35 years. I, too, would love to hear more about it anytime. It’s a rare thing, and so beautiful when it works out. Sounds like you two are well-prepared and determined to make it. Kudos, luck and love to you both. 😊❤️❣️❤️

      • Danbury says:

        OMG yes this is the story I want to know about!!

  5. Kokiri says:

    I remember being dressed up for my grade 8 grad, not fancy just more than usual wear.
    Friends who have kids recently graduated rented a limo. Grade 8. Limo, prom dresses, hair done, the works.

    Seemed excessive.

    • JoanCallamezzo says:

      They are multimillionaires in Brentwood I’m not surprised the adults dressed up. JLo is trying to save face popping up every few days. This is not the image she wanted after launching the movie the album and documentary about the greatest love story ever. Bet Ben pays her lawyer fees and does everything he can to extricate himself as fast as possible. It amazes me that talented wealthy successful people would make such a colossal unforced error by rushing into marriage.

    • BayTampaBay says:

      It is just an excuse to wear a dress you really have no other place to wear.

      The limo is for the “after parties” usually held at someone’s house. In the US South, alcohol is involved for the adults.

      • Kitten says:

        Oh good, as long as the adults are getting responsibly drunk at their child’s graduation party…

  6. Megan says:

    I don’t think that this is that weird? My husband and I show up to the kids events separately all the time. Something definitely seems off with them, but this is not one of them for me.

    • Lens says:

      According to TMZ who have spies everywhere, jlo and Ben arrived separately, sat separately, left separately and Jlo and her kids didn’t join the lunch with Sam afterward. So it was different from the more united front they gave just a week or so ago at violets graduation. I dont see how they can be working on things when they are all moving into different houses (Jennifer is also looking for “something smaller”) at a huge financial loss and (especially) the disruption to 5 kids’ lives.

  7. Goldenkatz says:

    I remember how much crap JLo got after the Gigli era. Always amazed me she was willing to forget it and try again with Affleck. She can do a lot better than this sourpuss sad sack. She’s getting far too much crap for this floundering relationship. She deserves an extroverted guy who appreciates her.

    • Kitten says:

      An “extroverted guy who appreciates her” like ARod? Or like Marc Anthony???
      Because those relationships didn’t work out either.

      Look, I love J Lo but let’s not pretend that being with her is a walk in the park. She is a LOT, even for the extroverts.

      • Marietta2381 says:

        Funny that you mentioned ARod. DM has a article “Wild claim Jennifer Lopez ‘will rebound from Ben Affleck with ex-fiancé Alex Rodriguez’ after split: Friends say she wants to be ‘strategic’ about ‘imminent’ divorce – but ‘cheating isn’t a deal breaker anymore”


    • Marietta2381 says:

      Really? She’s getting too much crap? Oh, okay. Sure. She’s the one who has her friends, family, & entourage run to the tabloids telling them incredible lies– Per the Daily Mail – Benny Medina now “openly dislikes’ Affleck.” JLo’s mom is now all of a sudden against him and this is the same woman who talked about how she always dreamed JLo & Ben would get back together for 20 YEARS.

      Then stating he’s drinking/relapsed. If he’s drinking, why would JLo let him drive her daughter around? Another fun quote from the Daily Fail: ‘I hear that he is drinking. He is full of demons – a really troubled person.’

      I’m not saying Ben is a saint, he’s most definitely not. BUT It’s disgusting what she is doing. NO ONE should be speculating on his sobriety, PERIOD. As having been sober for 18 years now, I would hate being in the spotlight as much as he is & Everyone constantly saying that I’ve relapsed. When I know I have been sober and will continue to be sober.

      All just so she can win…

      • Kitten says:

        People love to speculate about his sobriety and it always feels so ick to me.
        I cannot imagine maintaining my sobriety while millions of folks are all foaming at the mouth, breathlessly waiting for me to relapse.

      • Midnightsun says:

        @MARIETTA2381 I agree with everything you said. And the fact that she’s smearing him in the press knowing his children can read it then goes all smile at his kids events playing the supportive step mother ? Very vile and manipulative. She will never let the world knows he dumped her a 2nd time and face that humiliation so her team is preparing the field with those stories. It’s her 4th marriage but somehow she’s never the problem

    • UpIn Toronto says:

      Anyone who says they are in love with love is foolish. Getting back together wasn’t a mistake, but a marriage was. Marriages are so much more than being in love with love. If you are that idealistic about and expect the grandest experience all the time, you are setting yourself up for an incredible reality check, no matter who you are.

      Married 25 years here.

  8. StillDouchesOfCambridge says:

    We never really a lot of jlo doing the family things. We saw her shopping with her kids. Ben was married to jga, she loves food, seems more of a homemaker. I think that is what jlo is trying to be more. The low sales/cancelled tour was an opportunity for to do just that. She is going to be more there for her family. The entourage big house being sold at loss is another thing she needs to drop because of the entourage. She wants this relationship soooo bad… after 2 years we’re at this point? whether they are able to stretch this relationship or not it’s not going to work in the end. Im sure the entourage is purposely making life hell for ben lol it’s like another royal court intrigue

    • Kitten says:

      I don’t know if it’s as conscious and deliberate as trying to be more like Garner but I def agree that she’s making a huge effort and honestly, good for her. Maybe it’s time for her to take a step back from the limelight and try to be normal for a while.

    • Lens says:

      Well there is somebody leaking to DM that they (the family and entourage) all hate Ben now and he’s probably off the wagon so there’s someone out there trying to hit back for jlo. Whether she wants that or not is a question I don’t know the answer to.

      • Midnightsun says:

        Someone from her entourage certainly Medina wouldn’t be out there doing hit pieces on Ben (it’s the 2nd one on the dailymail) without her approval. To me it looks like If she can’t get him to come back to her she’s going to throw him under the bus.
        There was an article in a low brow tabloïd weeks ago saying she’s going to fight for her marriage but if she can’t win that battle she will come out on top. It’s telling

  9. Louise says:

    Anyone know the brand of jeans that J Lo is wearing these days?

  10. Flamingo says:

    I like to think the arriving separately had more to do with not giving the paparazzi anything to frenzy over. Taking away the spotlight on the children. And making a scene.

    Which is all that matters that day. The kids. Not them.

    I still don’t think they will divorce and are just trying to figure things out.

    • Jayna says:

      True, they are trying to figure things out: untangling their finances. IMO Ben isn’t going back. When we hear about the divorce will be when all of the legalities have been dealt with between lawyers behind the scenes. It’s a slow roll right now because of the children and being delicate regarding this split for their sake and also not to humiliate J-Lo or to make him look like the bad guy that just left her abruptly as far as optics; but I think once it’s all worked out financially and hopefully the megamansion sold, it will be announced it’s over and that the divorce settlement has been signed by all parties.

      • Flamingo says:

        Honestly, I think Ben and Jen are addicted to each other and fighting – getting back together is their love language.

        I am not holding my breath a divorce announcement is imminent.

        And that mega mansion is ridiculous and probably a money pit for them. Selling it does not necessarily mean divorce. Just a bad investment.

      • LBB says:

        This is my take on the situation, Ben is not getting back together with Jen and they will slow roll the divorce for a bit before the announcement.

  11. Proud Mary says:

    I, for one, am glad they have continue to parent the kids. I just find all this love ’em and leave ’em when kids are involved to be a travesty.

  12. Pix says:

    I’d be disappointed if they split, but I’m willing to guess this breakdown has a lot to with money. JLo insisted on that huge mansion thinking she’d be raking it in with a tour. I bet things soured when ticket sales tanked and they, as a couple, were left paying a huge mortgage without the promise of the tour money. Now they put the house on the market and they have to rebuild their fractured relationship. Fingers crossed they can get through this rough patch.

    • Joey says:

      I agree with this take. Makes total sense.

    • Titrate says:

      The initial reports (when they purchased) had them paying for it by cash though.
      Edit: there’s a $20 m mortgage on it, which was done months after they paid for it by cash. Not really huge for them. Also apparently has tax benefits.

  13. L says:

    My guess: quiet divorce announcement in August during the dog days of summer. It will be a done deal, with no dirty laundry aired.

    • MaryContrary says:

      Agreed. She very well may be trying to work on it. But he seems completely over it.

  14. Graceygirl says:

    Wedding rings still on to keep to keep press at bay. 100% getting divorced. Lawyers working behind the scenes and announcing will be made was finalized.
    JLo revealing Ben’s love letters was a betrayal. Ben is done.

  15. NikkiK says:

    At the end of the day, they are just not compatible. I give them props for trying but the writings on the wall. People Magazine is doing stories and we all know they are in bed with these celebrities people…….

    They are living in separate homes and trying to unload the “family” home so they are clearly separated and rare is the couple that gets back together after being separated.

    Also, J-Lo’s people released a story last night about Ben relapsing and not being himself, which is not cool. It’s a smear tactic to have Ben be the villain of the piece, when in fact, there is no villain – just two people who weren’t compatible 20 years ago and who aren’t compatible today.

    • ElleE says:

      The dailyfail story with the “exclusive” about Ben’s drinking?

      If so, does it make sense that Lo cares how she’s polling in the UK press? No way that “exclusive” story I could have written in 2002 was real.

      The fail it’s only covering the story because they love to bring down strong American women and make their husbands look like weak patsies.

    • Titrate says:

      NikkiK, 100% correct breakdown, esp your last paragraph about JLo trying to shift negative attention by leaking stories about him allegedly relapsing (commenter below says he has been driving the kids and Jen G would never let him if he were drunk). The leak included how her mother, Benny, and even allegedly BFF-again Leah Remini backing her against drunk-again Ben. It’s pretty clear he’s done and they’re just ironing out the details, and they’ve agreed to let JLo do her cancelled-tour-for-family pap events.

  16. ElleE says:

    I thought this was another cream, crocheted dress, and was about to swoon. I am seeing linen (after a long absence, probably due to no one wanting to iron or dry clean) & crotchet dresses I love everywhere.

    Unlike JLo, I can’t afford to invest in a dress I’ll wear on the only 2 sub-90 degree nights this summer. Sigh

    • Blithe says:

      The thing about linen is that I forget…. I painstakingly ironed a brand new, lovely linen top — to wear to a middle school graduation. It seemed like the perfect blend of making-an-effort yet not-overly-formal. By the time I got to the auditorium, I was a wrinkled mess. My pricey top will now be worn only for the most casual of occasions, or when I can iron it and remain cool and immobile for the duration of an event. In another decade, I’ll probably forget how quickly and easily linen wrinkles, and try again. Or maybe look for a linen blend, but the ones I’ve tried haven’t been nearly as comfortable as pure linen. Def a champagne problem. Lol: I’m very obviously hiding behind people in all of the pictures.

  17. ElleE says:

    I’m just more disappointed in Ben now, whereas I didn’t think I had a side here. I feel like he shifted into his old, married man habits and JLo is not a doormat and wants a strong, not needy, partner.

    She doesn’t come across as maternal so he can’t be surprised by this.

    • Shelby says:

      You sound like her PR person talk.

    • Jenn says:

      Something I keep wondering is whether she has an anxious attachment style while his is avoidant…? Like, I really have trouble faulting him for mentally checking out. I also suspect they didn’t intend to “separate,” that he struggles to live with anyone else (despite the absolutely enormous house). I feel like they’d flourish in an atypical marriage, but only if her ego can weather the media scrutiny and questions about separate residences.

  18. Jaded says:

    Maybe he’s realized the real JLo is still the huge attention vacuum she was 20 years ago and it’s sucked everything out of their marriage. I’m not blaming her, Ben knows the kind of person she is, but sharing his private letters with the world against his wishes was a tactless and thoughtless move. I’d be livid if someone did that to me. Because of this the tabloids have gone even more nuts and are relentlessly stalking them, it’s worse now than before the relationship brown matter hit the whirling blades. I hope things work out, mostly for the kids, and that for the sake of their marriage and combined family they can patch this mess up.

  19. Nic919 says:

    I find it very interesting how American media covers the separate arrivals with bated breath, but the British media is silent on the separate arrivals that a certain couple (or un couple) have been doing for several years now.

  20. Anon says:

    Whether these two stay together or consciously uncouple, I’m not counting out the possibility of a related Dunkin’ Super Bowl ad.

    Whatever happens, it would be so awesome if they all can emerge the better for it, with all of the kids truly having new friends, relatives and allies, and everyone involved becoming stronger people living more healthy, fulfilled, evolved lives as their authentic, higher selves.

    • Aurora says:

      I never abandoned linen. It’s fresh, breathable, doesn’t require more than a light ironing and looks rich with the right styling. Also, most synthetic fibers give me odor or rash, so it’s not like I have many more choices.
      Regarding Bennifer, I would just presume that, if they’re actually divorcing, the announcement couldn’t take much longer. Ben and Jen might want it to be old news by the time kids re-enter school in september. If nothing happens in this front before June ends, most likely they’re open to work on their marriage.

  21. Queen Meghan's Hand says:

    Touring is brutal on the body and families; whether Lopez divorces her fourth husband or not, cancelling the tour was a good idea.
    Also, I think a lot of people are forgetting that she started dating her now husband five weeks after she separated from her fifth fiancee…the girl needs some space and some therapy.

    • Jayna says:

      No way it was five weeks. That’s just the unveiling of their reuniting. They were in touch right away. Ben was hurting from Ana dumping him. He was reading the social media gossip about A-Rod. He jumped in immediately making the move that he wanted her back, probably even before she announced it was over with A-Rod. That’s just my opinion, of course.

  22. Carolnr says:

    I think it is one thing to arrive separately but quite another for JL & her children not go to the restaurant celebration, as reported. One entertainment site does have her, JG & his mother going back to his rented house later but her driver allegedly picking her up at 10:00 to take her home. JL needs to learn to drive HERSELF. This only draws more attention to herself. Ben is not drinking again or JG would not let Ben drive his children on outings. I think JL is trying to put this all on Ben ( not saying Ben could be easy to live with, either) because Ben is done with this marriage. I am curious if JL will stay in CA or move back to NY? She is reportedly shopping for homes but in CA or NY? If she is staying in CA, this divorce could drag out for LONG time! If she is moving back to NY, obviously she will have to enroll her children in a school back there. I think they will continue to put on a united front for their children but I think they are meeting privately to roll out the divorce….

    • Jayna says:

      Jennifer hasn’t driven in decades. When she was dating A-Rod, he bought her a Porsche, because they said she had not driven in 24 years. I can’t imagine never driving for that long, but that’s what they said in the video when he surprised her with it. I doubt she drove it more than a block. He has the Porsche still. So she left it with him when they broke up. I’ve never seen a photo of her driving since she moved back to California. It looks like her assistant drives her everywhere.

      • CatMum says:

        If I had an assistant, you best believe that they would be driving me everywhere! Driving isn’t any fun! So I would very much rather not to have to do it.

        If I were rich I would eat better food, and never drive again!

  23. JFerber says:

    Agree on the quiet divorce roll-out once it’s all been done behind closed doors. Wonder how each of their PR peeps will handle it all.

  24. Realife says:

    These two are so mentally exhausting. ENERGY SUCKERS> RUN. Nothing is ever enough for people like this.