Is the Enquirer kicking Kirstie Alley when she’s down or is she ‘fair game’?

An unflattering photo of Kirstie Alley is featured on the cover of this week’s National Enquirer with the title “Kirstie goes beserk, meltdown over her weight!” and bullet points like “‘Insane’ threats about harming herself,” and “Bizarre jokes about eating dogs and children.” Inside, the article uses Kirstie’s goofy posts to Twitter to show that she’s losing it. They don’t make a decent case. I mean, Kirstie has always been kind of unhinged and she writes dumb sh*t on Twitter all the time. She’s a Scientologist and often raves online about the dangers of prescription drugs. She’s also made no secret of the fact that how she hopes to have sex with Jaime Foxx one day. (From what the guy has said, he’ll probably oblige.) It’s nothing new for her.

They do have a point that Kirstie promised Oprah earlier last year that she’d be on again in November sporting a bikini (just like the last time) and of course it didn’t happen. Kirstie’s new A&E reality show is launching in March and she’s probably nervous and embarrassed about the fact that she didn’t lose weight yet. She’s also supposed to debut some new fitness and diet plan and keeps making vague promises about it on Twitter. Here’s the Enquirer’s take from their website. The mean part at the beginning in which they call her a “human zeppelin that failed to deflate” is only in their online version and isn’t in the print edition:

Formerly svelte Cheers star Kirstie Alley’s meltdown as human zeppelin fails to deflate despite promises, suffering a devastating emotional meltdown after realizing her plan to lose weight is WAY more difficult than she thought.

In a bizarre series of rants on Twitter, the 59-year-old – who ballooned to an astonishing 265 pounds last fall – has cracked sick jokes about eating children and dogs, made threats about harming herself, boasted intimate details of imaginary love affairs with two famous men and made violent threats against other celebrities.

“Kirstie is a babbling mess,” an insider confided to The ENQUIRER. “Her bizarre rants are obviously a desperate cry for help.

“She’s mad that she has to limit her food intake, exercise and say no to sweets, so she’s lashing out in outrageous ways.”

In an attempt to make light of her diet frustration, Kirstie quipped in a Twitter post: “I JUST ATE A side of beef, 2 kindergarteners, a hot tub of linguini, 3 Dalmatians, and a big plate of doughnuts.”

“She’s trying to be edgy and funny, but Kirstie’s so-called jokes make her seem like she’s completely losing her grip on reality,” continued the insider.

“She’s crowed for months about how she’s going to turn her life around and get thin and fit, but she’s buckling under the pressure.

“She’s swearing she’ll lose 70 pounds by June 15, but that’s an unrealistic goal.

“I think she finally realizes that with her new weight-loss show debuting in March that she’ll be forced to eat her words.”

Kirstie’s anguish came to a head after overindulging in a decadent Jan. 12 birthday dinner. Her teenage children, True and Lillie, had taken her for a celebratory feast at her favorite Asian fusion restaurant, Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills, where Kirstie indulged by eating dumplings and chocolate cake.

“Her birthday dinner was a major diet slip-up, and it sent Kirstie over the edge,” said the insider. “She’s insisting that she’s finally got her workout and diet regimen under control, but that just isn’t so.”

Kirstie recently launched a weight-loss Web site to tie in with her new A&E reality show, she’ll soon publish a book, and she’s been boasting for months that she’ll be unveiling what promises to be a revolutionary diet and exercise system.

But Kirstie has broken public promises before. During a bizarre appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show last April, Kirstie swore she’d return to the show in November 2009 showing off her new and improved figure in a bikini. She also claimed she was already losing weight on her own self-devised, soon-to-be-released weight-loss program. She never appeared on the show in a bathing suit – and her weight continued to skyrocket.

“Kirstie has repeatedly pushed back the launch of her mysterious diet program. Her friends are really starting to wonder if it’s all smoke and mirrors,” continued the insider. “They think it’s a load of bull and that the diet plan doesn’t even exist.

“Kirstie is petrified that she’s going to be exposed as a fraud.”

[From The National Enquirer]

Kirstie’s website for her “weight loss system to be released in November” is just one page with a dumb animation that features a cartoon with her head pasted on it that jumps on a trampoline and goes from thin to fat. You know she came up with that asinine concept by herself. I bet that November means 2009 and we know that was a while ago.

There are plenty of other decent diets that work and even if Kirstie does manage to reach her goal weight I doubt anyone is going to be clamoring for her advice. She made an announcement in a long statement posted to People way back in February, 2008 that she would be launching her own “weight loss brand.” Fast forward two years later and she’s still struggling. Maybe she should have just joined Weight Watchers since Jenny Craig didn’t have long term results for her.

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39 Responses to “Is the Enquirer kicking Kirstie Alley when she’s down or is she ‘fair game’?”

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  1. Dolkite says:

    Juet let the woman eat, for Chrissake…

    Im so sick of people whining about skinny models being a bad example for women, and then they go and make fun of any actress who isnt slim. Then they claim they have the right to be insulting because its a health issue…like someone elses health is their business anyway.

  2. Green Is Good says:

    Kirstie, STFU already about your ever expanding girth and your plans to lose it. Get on “Team Fat and Happy” already, or as I previously stated STFU.

    The woman clearly has no self-control, and would no doubt benefit from anti-depressants, but the cult she belongs to doesn’t allow it.

  3. mollination says:

    I thought that appearance on Oprah seemed a little meth-fueled…I thought that was her big secret.

    And aren’t scientologists supposed to have the inside know on self-help (no need for pyschiatric drugs and weight issues because they get “right with their mind” or whatever, and then they’re cured?). It’s funny how we only hear about that crap when they’re doing well – not in times of need.

  4. lucy2 says:

    Part of me thinks, well everyone else makes jokes about her, why shouldn’t she too? But the other part of me agrees with Green’s STFU sentiment.
    I think it’s unfair for magazines and the like to constantly printed stuff about her weight (like she’s the only one in the world to ever gain weight as she gets older!) but at the same time, she’s based her whole career now about weight loss, so she’s kind of opening herself up to it.
    Someone with her time and resources should just do it the right way, no more of these shows and program sponsorships. Or just say screw it, I’m happy this way.

  5. Mairead says:

    Sad, she’s mentally ill and brainwashed by a cult which won’t help her in the long run and she’s too scared to give up what limited support it gives her. Sad.

  6. rreedy says:

    Who cares?

  7. ChickenTetrazzini says:

    I’m torn on this. On one hand i feel bad for her and think they should leave her alone, but OTOH, I remember that she’s in a vicious cult that doesn’t hesitate to attack anyone who they consider a “threat”, so I don’t feel so bad. She needs help, though, too bad she’ll never get it while she’s mixed up with those $cieno lunatics. And isn’t she “Clear”? Shouldn’t she be able to control her eating, if she’s able to control matter, energy, space and time like they claim?

  8. Amelia says:

    I can’t wait until Valerie Bertinelli falls off the wagon. Weight plans like these always fail. No one can be on Jenny Craig for forever and once you’ve lost all that weight, it’s SO easy to gain it back and it’s always more than you lost. There is no quick fix for people prone to gain weight. It’s a life-long battle and magazines and bloggers and the media should leave her and anyone else who loses and gains weight alone! They’re TRYING! People who make fun obviously have no idea of the battle some people have to wage. So sick of it. Not that I like Kirstie AT ALL. But in this respect leave her alone.

  9. Linda says:

    Everybody knows that part of rehab is relapse. She’ll do it eventually. That is if she needs to work.

  10. sillypeople says:

    Leave people alone!! No one is fair game!! My goodness!! I would love for mag to post a pic of one your fat asses. Then tear you down!! See how it feels. Who cares if she is a scientologist. Thats her religion & she can do what she wants. Yes she is overweight, Im sure its an everyday battle. Losing weight sux for everyone..whether you need to lose 10lbs or 50lbs. Show some support! This world is going to hell in a hand basket. Woman need to support each other now a days.

  11. sillypeople says:

    oh & btw…Im not overweight nor am I a scientologist!! Just think its super unfair

  12. wow says:

    I liked her series “Fat Actress”. Although I guess I shouldn’t call it a series being that it wac cancelled after the first season. But still, it was a funny show. She made all of the “Kirstie Alley Fat” jokes work for her. Would love to see her do it again while actually trying to lose weight.

  13. Maritza says:

    I sympathize with her cause it’s not easy to lose when when you really love to eat. I like her her kookiness.

  14. BELLE EPOCH says:

    I think what’s disturbing is that she needs professional help, but Scientology is actively preventing her from getting well. There should be no stigma about needing help, or about being fat – but it’s hard to watch a grown woman fall to pieces with ever more desperate public attempts to get attention. Too bad she can’t see outside the Scientology box. She has children who need a sane mother, not a lunatic.

  15. Dolkite says:

    I would respect a woman who was 200 lbs and refused to diet and ate whatever she wanted a lot more than one who merely wanted to follow the crowd. Whenever I hear about the pressures to stay super-thin, I always wonder why people cannot think for themselves and decide what they think is attractive without someone else telling them what to like.

  16. ChickenTetrazzini says:


    So, “supporting women” means calling us fat asses? Wow, all this time I thought other women were being mean when they made remarks like that, but they were being SUPPORTIVE to their “sisters”! Silly me!

    And a magazine wouldn’t post pics of my fat ass because I am not a famous attention wh*re. Crap like this is the price celebs pay for being rich and famous…and they can have it, I wouldn’t want to be ANY of them. As for Scientology, go read about it then come back here and call it a “religion”. I recommend as a good place to start. The more you know ::::rainbow::::::

  17. dude says:

    Chicken Tet- So you dont want to be called a fat arse but you can call other people one? OK? seems fair!

  18. Tess says:

    Thar she blows.

  19. Black Cat says:

    Be fat and happy … who effing cares anyway what this woman does.

  20. ismael herrera says:

    An unflattering photo of Kirstie Alley ..

    wtf??? is there a flattering one?

    come on, stop this shit, you know she is a fat ass as well as i am, wth is it to the rest?

  21. rundee says:

    Usually I´m all about supporting overweight women, ´cause it can be really tough to be one, but in this case I have to say this:
    If she gained and lost and then gained again that much weight, then I guess it is really unhealthy especially in her age. So I hope she pulls herself together and starts to live a healthy lifestyle. Probably without informing the media before even starting to lose weight.
    And in a perfect world without Xenu.

  22. Tess says:

    @ Ismael Herrera:

    May we call you Ishmael?

  23. Cheyenne says:

    @ Tess: Ten to one he doesn’t get the reference.

  24. fizXgirl314 says:

    you’d think we’d be used to fat people at this point considering the US is full of them…

  25. Tess says:

    @ Cheyenne:

    hope he gets it.

  26. ewww says:

    At least she’s smiling, unlike Jessica Alba who always gets picked on for not showing her happiness over being constantly stalked and photographed. I realize we’re all here to be “bitchy” and not have a kumbaya love-fest, but ugh… so much negativity is always being thrown around the comments.

    I know no one really cares, I hardly do.

  27. oh hey says:

    This whole comment section shows what a twisted mentality we have in terms of weight issues in America, especially with women. First, Amelia says that we should leave fat celebs alone, but yet in the first sentence says she can’t wait for Valerie Bertinelli to fall off the wagon. Then Chickentetra may not be a famewhore, but shows the she the same entitlement complex as one because she feels she can criticize them just because they’re famous. Must not have that great a life if you feel going to celebrity website and bashing the weight of an actress who neither knows nor cares you exist. Both of you must post on Dlisted or Perez Hilton’s blog.

  28. benny says:

    Normally I would say leave her alone. Her weight doesn’t hurt anyone but herself. But, she made a lot of money from the topic (and looks like she plans to make even more in the future), so what does she expect when she is/was the one who put her weight out there for people to comment on in the first place?

  29. gg says:

    Put her on a Food Addiction show – she’ll sweep up!

  30. DoMaJoReMc says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t most people make fun of themselves and use sarcasm to hide the hurt in their lives?

    While I have no love or hate for Kirstie, I think she is really hurting, and sometimes when you hurt, you eat. I don’t know, I guess my thought is to just leave her alone. She will lose (if and) when she (not us) is ready.

  31. Maleficent says:

    I think it is safe to say that most have read Moby Dick, and surprise, got the ref.

  32. ViktoryGin says:

    Okay, this story is WAY overblown! Weight loss and maintenence particularly for those for whom it is difficult is a trying experience, and though she’s attempting to create a brand out of it it doesn’t necessarily translate into ease of being able to deliver on a product. Yes, she should exercise more restraint (no pun intended) in announcing to the world her grand plans, but some of you speak glibly about weight loss like it’s some simple task. Futhermore, the woman supposedly experiences some intense moments in her weight loss efforts (you know, cuz that doesn’t happen), so now she’s certifiably insane? I don’t see much wrong here. Just another gossip rag blowing actions way out of proportion as per usual.

  33. Kelaa Khaa says:

    Kirstie is still pretty and I’d love to see her as a guest on “Hell’s Kitchen; the chemistry with Gordon Ramsay would be smokin’.

  34. Seer says:

    When I look at Kirstie Alley I don’t think she looks THAT fat. They said she reached 265 Ibs., but I honestly doubt that. She’s clearly overweight, but she’s not as obese as they’re making her out to be.

    @ Viktory Gin : “…the woman supposedly experiences some intense moments in her weight loss efforts…”

    I agree with you. Some people take to diet and exericse like it’s no big deal, but for others it’s a monumental effort.

    I hope she focuses on her health, feels good about herself and her life, and manages to rise above her critics.

  35. Ggirl says:

    Why can’t this woman pull a Debra Messing and get Lap Band surgery? Or does the great Scientologists not believe in that either? If she spends so much time tweeting, then it sounds like she isn’t getting much support from the “church”. If Kirstie did get assistance with the Lap Band, she could focus her comedic talents elsewhere instead of trying to act like some kind of diet guru which should be left to the fitness experts anyway.

    I have seen her in some movie and tv roles where I thought she was very funny. She doesn’t need to subject herself anymore to parading aound in bikinis on Oprah. What the h*ll kind of validation is that anyway?

    Lap band and forget all of the other b.s. Valerie B. is as bland and blah as they come. Kirstie has way more natural talent. Who cares if she is a little loopy every once in a while. She can also be hilarious.

  36. MiHi says:

    Poor Kirstie.

    Started out as a Vulcan, and ended up as a Hutt.

  37. Albert Jaquier says:

    Narconon and CCHR work, and they help people.

  38. Jazz says:

    That Dog and his scary missus story sounds more interesting.

  39. Khushroo Motivala says:

    Funny, in one of her Tweets she declared “fair game” on her love “Conan O’Bitch “O’Brien.” That’s not really funny coming from someone who has taken the PTS/SP course.