I really don’t think we have enough animal stories here at Celebitchy. And we definitely don’t have enough “when animals attack” type stories. Now to be fair, we’re a celebrity site. And animals don’t attack celebrities nearly as much as they ought to. So it leaves us searching. But once in a while the stars align just right and a monkey grabs an actress’s left boob. Okay by once in a while I mean once ever. But it’s pretty funny nonetheless. It seems that actress Christina Ricci has a longstanding fear of monkeys. Though to be fair, most people are hideously afraid of monkeys. They’re like spiders and snakes. Wait, that’s backwards. Monkeys are freaking adorable. I wouldn’t want one living in my bathroom or anything, but a monkey as a concept is pretty appealing to me. But Christina Ricci and I don’t share this opinion. It’s one of the many things we’re always fighting about. On the first day of filming for her new movie “Penelope,” Christina got attacked by a monkey. A pervert boob-grabbing monkey.
“I’m afraid of monkeys but I had decided not to be afraid of this monkey because no one else is: ‘Everyone else thinks he’s awesome so just be cool.’ It’s the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I’m sitting down and the monkey is sitting right next to me. Of course it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he’s so strong. I’m thinking, ‘This thing is gonna rip it’s hand away and I will no longer have a boob there!’
“I’m so freaked out and the whole rest of the actors are turned around so no one sees that this has happened to me and I’m like, ‘Help, help’ as quietly and calmly as possible so this thing does not freak out any further.
“Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot… Monkeys are crazy and you never what they’ll grab onto; I don’t like unpredictable animals.”
Something tells me Chim Chim the monkey doesn’t like you much either, or he wouldn’t have been trying to rip your boob off. In the animal kingdom, boob grabbery is considered the greatest of insults. It’s like giving the finger, except it hurts a lot more. Clearly Chim Chim thought Christina’s face was kina odd looking. But being the gentleman that he is, instead of scratching her eyes out he went for the boob. That’s one classy monkey.
Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Christina Ricci at the Palazzo Las Vegas Grand Opening on January 17th. No specific photos were available, but her left boob appears to be in good working order. Images thanks to PR Photos.