Portia de Rossi to pen book, advocate for same sex marriage

There’s a new interview with Ellen DeGeneres’ wife, Portia de Rossi, in The Advocate. She comes across as thoughtful and grounded as she talks about the fight for same sex rights along with her decision to publish an as-of-yet unwritten autobiography, due out this fall. The article references Portia’s troubled past, when she was on Ally McBeal in the late 90s and was struggling with anorexia and bulimia. Portia, 37, is now much more content and is half of the worlds most famous lesbian couple. Her wife, Ellen DeGeneres, regularly cracks jokes about their home life on her popular talk show. We haven’t heard a lot from Portia recently, but that’s about to change. She tells The Advocate that she’s happy to help further the cause for same sex marriage rights and hints that her profile is about to raise as she writes her book. Portia may become the face of the marriage equality movement:

On advocating for same sex rights
After so many years dancing around questions about her sexuality, she first spoke with The Advocate in 2005, talking at length about her relationship with DeGeneres. But even then she avoided talking politics.

But four years later, during an appearance on The View to promote her sitcom, ABC’s Better Off Ted, De Rossi didn’t hesitate before she schooled conservative host Elisabeth Hasselbeck on what marriage really means: “Without the word, we don’t have equal rights.… Every citizen of this country should have that right.”

“I’ve had fun there in the past,” De Rossi says of the show. “But just before I was scheduled to appear, the New York legislature voted on marriage and it failed. It was so disappointing to me. And I thought, if I’m going on The View and I have a viewpoint, I might as well talk about it. It’s more important than talking about a TV show.”…

“Ever since Ellen and I got together, I feel like I’ve been given an opportunity to actually—God, this sounds corny…” She rolls her eyes at herself, fidgets, and then forges ahead. “Well, I feel like my life can actually kind of stand for something. And I don’t mean that in a self-aggrandizing way, like, ‘Look at me, I can make a difference.’ But I feel like, maybe I get why I’m here.”…

“I think it’s up to us to save marriage,” she says. “Up to gay people across the country, seeing as though we’re fighting for it so vehemently.” De Rossi has an impressive ability to marry the personal and political: “This whole thing has been a wave of excitement and hope, and then it gently falls back into despair. And then it picks us up again. Unfortunately, we’re the ones who have to suffer this—this humiliation, really. There’s kind of a dignity that’s been stripped from us. Gay people are the ones who have to suffer through it—but without it, it won’t change.”

On her relationship with Ellen
“To think that a married gay couple is considered boring and normal is fantastic,” she says. “Happiness is a choice too. It’s a choice to live in a state of gratitude and to fix what makes you unhappy. Being honest with who you are, being able to go out into the world and show people that you can be successful and be happy and be in a good marriage—it’s important.”

Mostly, they have so far avoided letting their notoriety get the better of them by communicating with each other. “I tell her all my insecurities, all of my worries, and within a few minutes I feel better,” De Rossi says. “She’s just so helpful to me. I think I help her too. I keep her focused on what’s important and what the big picture is. I think that’s what a good couple does for each other.” …

On her book
This is the first time she’s talked to a reporter about it. “I wanted to see what kind of book I was writing,” she says. “It will deal with all the secrets that nearly killed me.” Approached by an agent at William Morris to write about eating disorders, De Rossi wasn’t sure she could do it. Nevertheless, she’s writing it from a firsthand perspective without the typical celebrity-assist ghostwriter. “Nobody can really get inside the anorexic’s mind like the anorexic,” she says, referring to her own battles with an eating disorder.

[From The Advocate]

I really admire the way Portia is so matter-of-fact in the way she explains the fight for same sex rights. There’s something quiet and reluctant but steadfast about her. Like she feels uncomfortable putting herself out there but has made peace with it and knows it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t make sense to me that it’s 2010 and same sex couples don’t have the same rights as everyone else. I also find it baffling that there are people who are openly fighting the fact that there are couples who want to settle down and have families. Isn’t that what that side claims to value? I look forward to seeing what’s next for Portia.

The Advocate also has photos of Portia in their article that feature her in 1920s styling and she looks incredible. Some of the photos are here, and there are more on The Advocate’s website.

Ellen DeGeneres Has Date Night With Wife Portia de Rossi!


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25 Responses to “Portia de Rossi to pen book, advocate for same sex marriage”

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  1. Constance says:

    Oh please be on the AD movie, Portia! I enjoy her a lot. I think she has always had a pretty good record of being a wonderful lady. Her advocacy is just a big a help to the cause as anyone else. Good for her and everyone making the intelligent and pragmatic arguments for same sex rights.

  2. Murrie says:

    There’s something delightfully elegant and fabulous about her.

    I really wish her and Ellen the best. :)

  3. Icecat says:

    Love Portia!

    I am also baffled that in this day and age same sex couples cannot marry and have the same rights. I do know that there are a lot of hetro couples out there that should have never been able to marry and breed. It just doesn’t make sense… SAD.

  4. Dorothy says:

    I like her a lot, but I don’t really like Ellen, not sure why but I never have. They both seem very happy.

    I don’t understand why so many people are against gay marriage. It is not religious it is about rights. Why religion is against the equal rights of a miniority I will never understand.

  5. lucy2 says:

    I loved her on Arrested Development and Better Off Ted, she is really funny on those shows.
    I like her attitude about it all. So often celebs are self-important when they become advocates for a cause, but she seems to see it all pretty clearly.
    She and Ellen seem very happy together.

  6. ogechi says:

    “Happiness is a choice too. It’s a choice to live in a state of gratitude and to fix what makes you unhappy. Being honest with who you are, being able to go out into the world and show people that you can be successful and be happy and be in a good marriage—it’s important.”

    ABSOLUTELY..am not a supporter of gay marriages but surprisingly I LOVE HER AND Ellen DeGeneres together. They are sweet, coordinated and lovely.

  7. Praise St. Angie! says:

    I like Portia a lot…she was great on Arrested Development and she seems like a very down to earth person…and she’s gorgeous.

    I got one gripe with this write up, though.

    why was she referred to as “Ellen DeGeneres’ wife”? I mean, that’s accurate, but it’s not what she’s known for, or why she became famous. Wouldn’t it be more fair to say “There’s a new interview with ACTRESS Portia deRossi” rather than referring to her simply as someone’s wife?

    I know, I know…small gripe, but I like her and think she deserves recognition for her job, not her marital status.

  8. Lem says:

    @ she deserves recognition for her job, not her marital status.
    1! Totally!

    side snark: did she have her nose done? it’s awfully thin! I actually don’t think I would have recognized her…

  9. Dorothy says:

    ogechi just wondering why?

  10. prettytarheelfan says:

    Lem, I think if she’s had her nose done it’s been some time ago. Agree that it’s slim and perfect, but most of the photos from the last few years show that same nose.
    Love love love her, think she’s gorgeous, love her and Ellen, think they are a great example of making a marriage work no matter what sex you are. :)

  11. ogechi says:


    Really can’t say why but am not judging anybody, anything i say or do is scriptural-but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Ellen is one of my role models today.

  12. Peach says:

    I don’t think everybody has to support gay marriage. As long as they don’t stand in the way of it, I think personal positions are irrelevant.
    Don’t want gay marriage? Don’t marry a gay. It’s really that easy.

    But for me it’s personal. My older brother is gay. His boyfriend is from France and they have to do a lot of long distance trips. If he could, he’d marry him in a second and they’d live together here in the USA. But immigration rights don’t pertain to them. It makes me really sad. I’m currently trying to find a nice lesbian to marry this man and bring him over. It may technically be ‘against the law’. But if the law doesn’t favor equality so I don’t think it morally pertains. Hey, when the law told women they couldn’t vote that didn’t stop ballsy women from going to the polls. For me, if the law spits on civil rights, I’ll spit right back. /rant

    But Portia is awesome. She just seems like a really cool woman you want to know. So does Ellen. They are just really cool ladies all around.

  13. bubbs says:

    I never understand the arguments against gay marriage. “straight” marriage is a joke these days anyway. the divorce rate is ridiculous, I know many people my age who have already been married a few times.
    also people cheat like crazy on their spouses. but people go on and on about the sanctity of marriage. i say equal rights for all!

  14. lena says:

    @ bubbs, i totally agree

  15. Cinderella says:

    I think Ellen is the best thing that ever happened to Portia. Loved her on Ally McBeal, although it sounds like she hated that time of her life.

    Before Ellen, it seemed like Portia was withdrawn and reserved in general. After spending several years with Ellen, hopefully some of Ellen’s spunk has rubbed off. It’s nice to see Portia perk up and be heard.

  16. Reina says:

    Wow, that last picture (which is also the pic when you click on this article) does not look anything like her to me. At all.

  17. lola lola says:

    It is embarrassing that in 2010 we are still treating adult human beings like 2nd class citizens. And ‘civil unions’ is just legalizing discrimination. It’s time for gay marriage to become a reality. Everywhere.

  18. Emily says:

    “This whole thing has been a wave of excitement and hope, and then it gently falls back into despair. And then it picks us up again.”
    By summing it up like that, I think she already is my advocate.

  19. crash2GO2 says:

    @Peach: What a sad story. I like your point of view. I may not personally advocate abortion or gay marriage, but I don’t agree with the government legislating against it. It should be a personal decision, between two people and their beliefs. And everyone else should respect it.

    In a perfect world, I guess.

  20. Hm says:

    In the hat pic she looks like Barbara Walters

  21. Amy says:

    Yea Portia is alright. Nice name though.

  22. blinditemreader says:

    LOVE Portia.

  23. skeptical says:

    agreed with the general idea thus far.. if you don’t like gay marriage then don’t marry a gay person.

    those who do want to marry a gay person should have the freedom to make that choice. so long as we’re talking consenting adults.. then there is no problem.

    Love Portia. Love Ellen. Really love them together.

  24. Alex says:

    Proud to live in a province that legalized gay marriage and I hope to see it legalized everywhere in my lifetime! Gays deserve the same rights we all have.

    Love Portia and wish her and Ellen all the best – they’re a fabulous couple

  25. EMV says:

    I say if gays want to add to the divorce rate, have at it….I love them, they are such a great couple. Who cares what people do in the bedroom? The government should not get in the way of marriage. The church should have say in who they want to marry, but the govt should NOT be involved, and if it is it should be a states right not a federal right, just like a lot of things. I need to stop ranting…. People are equal and they should be treated as such.