Whenever I see or read Jennifer Coolidge’s interviews, I can never figure out if her whole public/actress persona is just an act, like it’s all a piece of performance art, the ditzy blonde comedienne who is unintentionally hilarious. I still don’t know, but if it’s all an act, then she kept up the act spectacularly in a new interview with the Times. She was a complete ditz throughout the piece, and it’s like… she’s not really playing a character in all of those Christopher Guest movies, that’s actually her. Anyway, Coolidge is currently promoting her role in A Minecraft Movie, which she really did not want to talk about (I’m not sure she knows what Minecraft is). Instead, she talked about men, her up-and-down career and her insecurities. Some highlights:

She wants a European man: “You’re European, right? Well, you know way better than me, but European men like the idea of sleeping with an older woman more than Americans do. Somebody you’d expect to be skilled and sexy. It’s not the American fantasy, but lots of European films are about young guys with an older woman. I think I have to go overseas then!”

Becoming famous for American Pie: “Look, I got a lot of benefits out of Stifler’s Mom — believe me,” she says with a smile. She means shagging. “They might be over now, but once in a while you still get a Stifler’s Mom thing.”

Guys come up to her now because of The White Lotus. “Even though I play a complete weirdo in White Lotus, cute guys come up to me. And this is far better than American Pie because people were really sad about Tanya falling off a boat. These men like you better because they feel that you went through something. That show really upped my game!

What she thinks of The White Lotus Season 3: “It’s eerie, creepy, I’m worried for everybody,” she says — at this point she was two episodes in. “Greg is in the first episode!” She means Tanya’s husband, who did wrong by her. “I hope something bad happens to him.” How did she feel when she was told Tanya was going to be killed off? “You have to be a good sport about it, but I went, ‘Oh, really? Really?’ I whined and then just let it go.”

She loves girly fashion: “I’m not really into ordinary clothing at all. There’s a part of me that hasn’t aged at all. I really do feel like a 15-year-old girl. I love make-up, dressing up, costumes. I love putting on something extravagant. I want, every day, to be told we have to wear costumes — I’m into transforming. I love being someone else.”

Leave your family: “You really must get out the family unit. We have a role in the family and you’re either the dumb one, smart one or whatever your family thinks you are. You’re locked into it for ever until you leave and find out who you are, so I always tell people to get out! Go to that school across the country, find out who you are.”

Why her career hit a decade-long rough patch: “Yes, it was this incredible wave and my surfboard was there and I got on. Then I got off. I sabotaged myself, and I’d say this to any young person: when the wave comes, have the guts to stay on. I would beg people to, you know, blow off your wedding and take that job. I was a sure bet, I got so many good jobs in a row. I have huge regrets — I was deeply depressed for a very long time…it’s a moment and you have to seize the day. Your agent is calling you. People are interested. But I dilly-dallied. I wanted this guy that I was obsessed with. I wanted him to like me, so I went completely off-track. I wasted a lot of time — and that moment passes. And, God, if I could live my life over again, I wouldn’t have done what I did.”

All kinds of relationship issues: “Actually I don’t want to say it was just one guy. It was guys and, well, everyone wants certain things in their life at a certain time. I was trying to have relationships with men who were unavailable, or there are guys out there who really hate women deep down and I certainly dated them.”

What she does when she’s done with a job: “Well, I hesitate to answer that. But when I’m finished with a job I’m really into resting. I go to bed for a long time and barely move. I’m so exhausted. I completely stop. I don’t even move in my bed at all. So I crash, but I like to do anything with my dogs and friends. I’m not into overextending. I become a mummy.”

[From The Times]

I could hear every one of these quotes in her voice, especially “I’m really into resting” and “I really do feel like a 15-year-old girl.” It’s not an act, is it? This really who she is. More likely, this is just a heightened version of her true self – she knows people want the ditzy blonde persona, so she leans into it and does the voice. I think what she says about missing her chance to really manage her career better is so important too – I feel like a lot of women need to hear that, in a lot of different professions. Don’t self-sabotage. “When the wave comes, have the guts to stay on.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.