Ferris Bueller’s Mia Sara: it is really freeing to feel like no one’s looking at me

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Mia Sara, 58, is best known for Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. She’s worked on television in the 90s and early 2000s, but they’ve mostly been guest stints, which has freed her up to raise her now now young adult children. She’s married to Brian Henson, Jim Henson’s son and the chairman of the Jim Henson company. We’re talking about her as she has a part in The Life of Chuck, an adaptation of a Stephen King novella by modern horror master Mike Flanagan and starring Tom Hiddleston. As Sara explained to Yahoo! Life, she’s friends with Flanagan and he asked if she would be interested in working again. Her interview is so insightful and relatable that I wanted to talk about it. Here are some of my favorite parts, and it’s worth reading at the source:

What have you loved about your 50s so far—and what are you most looking forward to about your 60s?
What I love about my 50s is that I feel like a huge pressure is off to not be comparing myself to people. And I love the fact that my interactions with people [are] just about me, my attitude, me as a person. I don’t feel like I have to get past something anymore with people. [But] there are serious bummers to do with health and pain. So, I’m just looking forward to hopefully remaining healthy and active…

What’s the best advice you’ve received from your therapist or friends about aging?
A long time ago, I knew this woman, a really good friend of my ex-husband [Jason Connery]. She had been a prima ballerina. I was younger, and I was just complaining about something, and she said, “Look, certain things are not gonna get better than this moment. And you’re gonna look back on this moment, at whatever physical thing you’re complaining about or feeling critical or judgmental of. So, just enjoy the ride.” Enjoy the ride. I haven’t thought about that in years, but that’s something that I would tell my daughter or my son’s wonderful girlfriend.

You were a teen queen in the ’80s and in the spotlight from the time you were 16. That said, how has your general philosophy on beauty evolved over time? How do you feel about beauty standards now?
I always found older women very beautiful. So, when I look in the mirror, I see myself, and I like the way I look. [But it can be] harder when, after a long time, I’m having to confront myself onscreen. That’s a very different experience, which is a little challenging. And if you have been considered attractive and beautiful or whatever, and it’s a part of your identity, it’s hard to let it go. But it is actually really freeing to feel like no one’s looking at me.

That kind of relates to another subject I’d love your thoughts on, which is the idea that women become invisible — especially in Hollywood — when they get older. Do you think that’s the case?
I understand what people mean about being invisible. I don’t feel invisible. I just don’t feel like I have to put out anymore. It’s nice. I can just present myself as myself, and my interactions with people [are] about who I am. I don’t feel like I’m being judged as much because of what I appear to be. I think it’s possible to feel more and more aligned with who you are as you get older. I like people not looking at me. That was not always very comfortable for me.

[From Yahoo! Life]

Sara goes on to say that she’s grateful for Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but that she was “very out of my element and depth” and felt awkward as the youngest cast member. She called it “a very cringy experience.” That film came out in 1986 when she was 19, Matthew Broderick was 24, Jennifer Grey was 26 and Alan Ruck was 30(!). As someone who also came of age in the 80s and early 90s things were much different for women at the time and I can only imagine the garbage she dealt with as a young famous person in a hit film. Most of her interview resonated with me, particularly the part about the double edged sword of aging, where you finally don’t care about other people’s opinions but are dealing with real health issues. Menopause is no joke. I especially liked her thoughts on being invisible. It can take a moment to get adjusted to not being young, but it’s freeing to not have to deal with the pressure and attention that go along with that.

The Life of Chuck isn’t out at theaters near me at this point. It was only out in limited release mid-month. Forbes says it’s likely to come to VOD around July 15th and should be on Hulu in November. I’m looking forward to seeing it!

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14 Responses to “Ferris Bueller’s Mia Sara: it is really freeing to feel like no one’s looking at me”

  1. Lil Soleil says:

    She’s beautiful, wise, and I’m inspired by her grey silver fox hair and encouraged to keep growing out my greys which has been humbling

  2. orangeowl says:

    She looks amazing! Nice to hear such a wise and positive outlook. And bummer that Ferris Beuller’s Day Off was weird for her.

    I’m her age and I can relate to no one looking at me and being able to just be myself. It is freeing.

    On a related note, I was just thinking about an old co-worker who’s fallen into the MAGA trap of plastic surgery and incredibly try-hard fashion and makeup, where she seems to be competing with her college age daughter for, I guess, the male gaze. It’s jarring to see someone who was once naturally beautiful looking plastic and strained in the face and looking so out of sorts in group photos of regular middle aged ladies – it seems the opposite of freeing. Very sad.

  3. Kitten says:

    She’s still insanely beautiful.

    I definitely get what she’s saying about feeling like she can just be herself as she gets older. It can be fun and empowering to to be young and hot and the subject of the male gaze. It can also be terrifying and exhausting. When I was in my twenties I spent a lot of time being angry because I felt like every time I left my house I was being catcalled, confronted by men and harassed. It didn’t matter if I was wearing gym sweats or a tight dress. Men suffer this belief that young women in public spaces are fair game and that merely existing is an invitation for engagement. I could never smile or say hi to a man in a friendly way because inevitably, they would see it as a flirtation. It’s debilitating and isolating.

    Now that I’m in my forties I feel like I can just talk to any guy in any normal capacity–a neighbor, my mechanic, my electrician–and I’m respected. I’m not threatened any more. When I was younger people would warn me that I’d miss the attention but I really don’t. It’s freeing to be left alone and ignored in public spaces. I finally feel safe.

  4. Lightpurple says:

    She is absolutely lovely and luminous in Life of Chuck. She just glows throughout.

    The film itself is a delight. I have seen it twice, the second time mostly because I had questions, pretty much all of which were answered during the second viewing in which I picked up on a ton of clues I had missed the first time. We contain multitudes.

  5. Arhus says:

    Love her viewpoint on life.

  6. alteya says:

    Enjoyed her more in Birds of Prey (tv), Timecop, and Legend than Ferris Bueller. Yes Legend is a trip before we all knew how weird Cruise is, but it is such an 80s fantasy trip.

    The ageing double edged sword is real, esp because you have to spend so much time advocating for your own care if your doctor isn’t up on their research. Or your health insurance doesn’t cover it.

    • AlpineWitch says:

      In Legend she was so beautiful, I saw the movie at the theatre and she became one of my girl crushes.

      I really liked her interview here and I often wondered what had happened to her. Glad to know she was living an amazing, quiet life.

    • Deering24 says:

      I also remember her from Queenie, a fictionalized version of Merle Oberon’s life. Always thought she was stunning.

  7. Tuesday says:

    I have never met her, but I’m friends with one of her relatives and have met several others who know Mia personally. From everything I’ve heard, she’s a really, genuinely kind person. It’s nice to see her out and about.

  8. SIde Eye says:

    I find her so beautiful. I would absolutely turn my head to look at her.But I get what she’s saying here. I have been stared at as long as I can remember, since I was a child. A lot of it is people trying to figure out what race I am. They can’t quite place me unless my hair is short. Some of it is just rude like someone trying to intimidate me in a public space, but every now and again I will get the loveliest compliment about how I look. But overall, I have never been comfortable with people staring. I am getting older now and I am happy to report I get stared at 50% less than I used to. It’s a relief. I just want to go to the grocery store walk my dog and go about my business. I don’t want to be followed home. In my younger days I had notes left on my car etc. It’s scary and I don’t like it. I am welcoming the invisibility phase in my life.

  9. Joan says:

    Someone should cast her in a sister dramedy with Emma Thompson. They look so alike!!

    • martha says:

      I was thinking Carrie Coon, but Emma’s good – imagine if the 3 of them were in a caper movie together!

  10. bros says:

    I loved SLoane. you could always tell she’d always be a beautiful woman with that face of hers

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