Lindsay Lohan is “embarrassing, a total drunken, incoherent mess”

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Do you remember how Lindsay Lohan announced she was moving to London because she loves chunnels? “Chunnels” being some kind of cracked-out code word for “whatever drugs people will give me”. Anyway, Lindsay loves London, and after spending some serious party-time in LA last week, she returned to London and has been up to her usual crack shenanigans. Last night, Lindsay apparently got so high she thought she was Sam Ronson, and she started “deejaying” at a Nokia X6 launch party. Unfortunately, as in all things, Lindsay failed. Sources tell Radar that Lindsay “was clearly struggling to play the set on her own… She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess…It was really embarrassing to watch.” Was she playing her own music? Ten bucks says she was.

The reviews are in and the consensus is unanimous – don’t give up the day job (whatever that may be) Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay is only 23-years-old but has already worked as an actress, a singer, a model and a fashion designer and now the troubled starlet is trying her hand as a celebrity DJ, but as RadarOnline.com has learned the reviews are less than stellar.

Lindsay took to the decks Wednesday night at the Nokia X6 Launch party in London and despite being guided by established and respected British DJ gareth Geno, the result was a mess.

One partygoer exclusively tells RadarOnline.com, “Lindsay was clearly struggling to play the set on her own and had to ask gareth for help. She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess.”

The source says that Lindsay’s “awful song choices and lack of experience” created a danger of clearing the room out. “It was really embarrassing to watch,” the eyewitness says. “You could tell she didn’t didn’t know what she was doing.”

The source says that Lindsay was struggling so much that she was even forced to finish her set early, and furthermore, “Lindsay constantly had a drink in her hand the whole time she was playing.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, the source says that Lindsay kept breaching security laws by attempting to smoke indoors throughout the (brief) set.

Looks like Lindsay’s DJ ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson doesn’t have to worry too much about the competition!

[From Radar]

Who knew that deejaying was an actual skill? Actually, I did. I used to deejay. Not huge parties or clubs like Sam Ronson or anything, but silly stuff in college, and it’s actually harder than it looks. It’s not rocket science, but if you’re drunk or high, it’s totally a challenge. So, it looks like Lindsay failed at yet another career backup, just like she failed at fashion and “leggings designer” and “thief”.

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Photos from Lindsay Lohan’s spread in Purple Magazine, courtesy of Egotastic.

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46 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is “embarrassing, a total drunken, incoherent mess””

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  1. princess pea says:

    “Lindsay is only 23-years-old but has already worked as an actress, a singer, a model and a fashion designer”

    I find this hilarious, because they’re saying it like it’s a good thing. But in my experience, if someone has changed jobs a dozen times in only a few years, it’s because they were crap at the jobs. Somehow I don’t think the story is any different for Lindsay.

  2. Miss Bitch says:

    She’s morphing into Tils Tequila.

  3. MARKYMARK says:

    The entire world seems to be enabling this “WRECK”. She can’t seem to fade away like she’s supposed to. When is there going to be a complete ban on her. I’m talking ALL CLUBS, FASHION SHOWS, TV STATIONS, PHOTO SHOOTS, even Fucking SUPERMARKET OPENINGS.
    Its time for her to become a full-on PARIAH in any realm of the entertainment field.
    Even after that, I don’t think she’ll clean up her act

  4. Roma says:

    The sad thing is, she’s ruled as a “leggings designer”. Kitson couldn’t keep them in stock… though she really offended them last fall and I’m not sure they’re carrying her anymore.

  5. bellaluna says:

    Wow, in that picture of her in the black dress (?) you can’t even see her crotch. She must be slipping!

  6. Jessica says:

    shes all scraped up.

  7. anoneemouse says:

    I’m sure she was only drinking because she didn’t have to work the next day – this according to her own interview she gave – barf.

  8. LindyLou says:

    Lindsay Hohan is an “embarrassing, drunken, incoherent mess”

    Well. Duh.

  9. lucy2 says:

    She’s an embarrassing drunken mess? Well, it is a day that ends in Y.

  10. Wow…I really am getting scared for her. She had so much going for her and was actually an excellent actress who could have transitioned into a successful adult career. It appears she has no one in her life that cares enough about her (not her money) to help her.

  11. Linda says:

    She is a slut. Nasty life with coke.She will die with her coke.

  12. Bodhi says:

    Tell us something we don’t know! 🙂

    I don’t get these photos. Why not photoshop out all thos cuts & scrapes? Are they supposed to be “artistic” or something?

  13. Kayleigh says:

    Who did this photo-op and let published these with out getting rid of all those little red marks and scrapes on her?

  14. Dan says:

    If she doesn’t die in the next few years will she clean up and be a kick a$$ actress?

  15. nAynAy says:

    She is definitely killing herself slowly. Or quickly, depending how you look at li.

  16. TaylorB says:

    Dan,

    I hope you are right and she finally cleans things up, kinda like Robert Downey Jr. and comes back on a wave. At this point it is just really sad.

  17. snapdragon says:

    are those tattoos on the underside of her arms or the phone numbers of local drug dealers? god she’s trashy.

  18. meme says:

    Hohan can’t come back a la RDJ. RDJ HAS talent, Hohan is a total waste of space.

  19. Bodhi says:

    I think its totally 100% clear that she is a cutter. The photo with her arms abover her head is incontrovertable proof

  20. TaylorB says:

    Meme,

    I know, he has more talent in his naval lint… but it is just so pathetic at this point I gotta hope for something good for this girl.

  21. bellaluna says:

    Let’s not forget, per her interview, she has her drinking under control and is allowed a drink or two, per her rehab guidelines.

    I don’t know where she went to rehab (The Island of Delusion, maybe?) but I’m pretty sure rehab doesn’t advocate continued use of drugs and alcohol. Especially by someone who’s a truly sloppy mess.

  22. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Lindsay Lohan – the professional cracked out crap at everything due to substance abuse addiction superwoman…

    Wow – what a great role model for young girls to look up to!!

  23. k says:

    Agreed with others who see the diff between Robert Downey Jr and Lohan. Former has talent, latter has nothing

  24. SolitaryAngel says:

    The thing about RDJ is, even when he was coked to the gills he oozed talent and charisma! LowHo? I don’t even like to THINK what she oozes….. And you have to have ‘been’ somewhere to come back.

  25. Chana says:

    Chunnel is actually a term for the tunnel between the island the United Kingdom is on and the European continent. It’s short for “Channel Tunnel”.

    In Lindsay world though, I’m sure it means a number of different dealers of various substances.

  26. gaby says:

    You should have posted the most disgusting picture from this shoot… the one at then end of the sleezy photographer with Lindsay’s mother and underage sister who were apparently there to cheer her on posing like a drugged-out stripper. These people are beyond disgusting.

  27. TaylorB says:

    Are those rug burns on her knees?

  28. john doe says:

    I’d say it’s safe to start a “When will Lindsay start doing HC porn” betting pool.

    I’ll put $100 on inside 6 months.

  29. kellogg says:

    is she still cutting? no one has commented on the diagonal slashes on the inside of both her forearms in the second pic.

  30. Leek says:

    I can’t believe she’s only 23. She’s like 56 in drug years.

  31. Kstyle says:

    Most of these comments on here are so fucking stupid…congrats to 50% who are actually using the space between the ears!
    A- These are not ‘scrapes’ the coke head is a cutter because her life is in the hole.
    B-@Princess Pea…you took what was said out of context…of course they are saying she is a train wreck!
    C-SPELL CHECK

  32. Feebee says:

    Today’s headline isn’t exactly new news is it?

  33. GatsbyGal says:

    She’s on her way out…then again, I was saying that two years ago. Maybe this time she’ll actually finish the slow suicide she’s been working on.

  34. kellogg says:

    @Kstyle-I obviously wasn’t using the space between my ears. 🙂 i missed Bodhi’s earlier comment re: cutting.

    That’s what I get for using page down as opposed to the down arrow.

  35. TaylorB says:

    Kstyle,

    Take a deep breath and let go of the ‘spell check’ point, we all missssssspell, it is no indication of our IQ, hell who doesn’t have a typo form tyme to taime?

  36. I can’t help but to feel sorry for Lohan. She looks like trash and is heading straight downhill at a high rate of speed.

  37. Katija says:

    I’m actually going to defend Lindsay. Never underestimate how badly shitty parents can mess you up. I am in grad school and pretty accomplished, but I have a cousin – same age, very similar to me – whose parents are total nut jobs and turned her into a big cracky ho. If we’d switched places, I could very easily have become a big cracky ho. I think Lindsay is a product of essentially having Heidi and Spencer as parents.

  38. jule says:

    Taylor B…..I lovedd yer speling missteaks

  39. CB Rawks says:

    Ew, what’s with her arms? She looks like Flat Stanley.

  40. paranel says:

    she is going downhill with no brakes. I hope she makes it.

  41. NicoleAM says:

    As someone who has personally dealt with self-injury I find it disgusting that she was photographed “showing off” her injuries (I’m assuming that’s what they are). No, it’s not artsy or cool, it’s a real problem and one that many struggle with. Personally I think she is a sad example of someone who does it for attention. Most ppl who engage in that behavior try to hide it using whatever means they can. This idiot parades around showing them off and even does a photoshoot where they’re prominently featured. I wish she’s go to rehab and go away!

  42. kaligula says:

    hugs to lindsey. i’ll go to my grave contending that she’s a top notch actress more talented than many A-listers (like the beloved kate winslet, for instance). but she has so much identity confusion to work through thanks to her dysfunctional and narcissistic parents. people will never see her for who she is underneath it all, and she’s psychologically reversed to the point that she thinks she’s creating herself only when she’s destroying herself. it’s a pity. but i believe in you, LL. will wait to see what good comes out of this for you.

  43. cult of skaro 23 says:

    ehh…she still looks okay.

  44. I’m really afraid that hers will be a life that will end in tragedy.

  45. Butch says:

    @kaligula …Coutney…you should talk. You sold your soul too in the ’90s…now look at you. Properly schooled in fame my ass. You’ll always be street.

    As for the girl in the photos she’ll do great things in the adult entertainment biz. You could have too.

  46. ruby-rumm-runner says:

    @Butch, are you sure @kaligula is Courtney? That’s an awful lot of coherent typing and correct spelling for her at one time.

    And @kaligula, whoever you are: are you out of your mind?? Did you just infer that L Lohan is more talented than Kate Winslet? That is one of the more retarded bits of false acclaim LL has received. I personally happen to love Ms. Winslet, but whether I liked her or not, her acting ability is certainly leagues beyond that bolstered-up piece of trailer trash. Whatever acting ability LL had was completely crack-smothered out by the time she finished “The Parent Trap.” Now all she can do is, well, act like CLove. Who used to be really interesting and provacative in a good way, until she revealed to the world that all she really ever wanted was enough money to get absurd amounts of plastic surgery and turn herself into Joan Rivers’ meglomaniacal twin. So much for your integrity, Courtney; and they way you just dumped on your DAUGHTER to the press, well, that was just TOO classy for words! Oh, and by the way, f-e-m-i-n-i-s-t is not spelled n-e-p-o-t-i-s-t.