If it’s August, it means we’re in the Dogue days of summer. I find it bark raving mad that Vogue only makes their “celebri-dog” digital series this one time of year. The only plausible explanation is that Anna Wintour knows her fashion bible would not stand a chance if it had to compete with Dogue on a monthly basis. But enough of my growling, there are canine cover stars to celebrate! Starring on one are the three Chihuahuas of reigning Best Actress Oscar winner Mikey Madison. There are the ladies: long-haired Peaches and short-haired Birdie, both 11 months. And then big brother Jam, a Chihuahua mix, is two years old. The photo shoot came to the trio’s LA backyard, where they all mugged for the camera and modeled itsy bitsy teenie weenie hats supplied by their “very proud stage mom.” Mikey further contributed to the profile by answering the Dogue questionnaire:
What are your dogs’ best qualities?
Peaches is very serene most of the time. She doesn’t really like to play. She just likes to chill and be in someone’s lap. I can’t say that she’s ever had a puppy phase.Birdie’s very genuine. When she wakes up in the morning, she’s just so happy to be alive. Every emotion that comes out of her is completely pure, and it’s just so endearing.
I cannot say the same for Jam. He is a bit more of a menace, but his best quality is how snugly he is. He will get under the covers and snuggle all day long. It’s the best if I’m just having a cozy day or I’m sick, he’s just there with me under the covers.
Who would voice your dogs in a movie?
Carol Kane would voice Birdie. He’s not here anymore, but Andy Kaufman as Latka from Taxi would voice Jam, and Michelle Yeoh would voice Peaches.Where is the strangest place you’ve taken your dogs?
Airplane bathrooms.If you could tell your dogs one thing, what would it be?
I would tell Jam that he needs to poop outside and the carpet is not an option anymore. He’s too old for that; it’s not okay. I want him to know that I love him no matter what, but he needs to figure that out. I would tell Peaches and Birdie that they’re perfect, but I would tell Birdie that she needs to stop barking at men. It’s bad. She really doesn’t like my twin brother—for no reason at all! He stayed with me when we were in London for a week, and she barked at him every time he stood up. It was exhausting at a certain point.What is the most human thing your dogs do?
Jam is borderline human. He is extremely neurotic. He has so many worries. He has these really human eyes, and he side-eyes me all day long, which is uncomfortable. Peaches and Birdie, there’s no human trait at all. They’re basically rodents.Strangest habit?
Birdie loves to lick me. Jam has way too many weird habits. It just all adds to his charm, but there are too many to name. And then Peaches doesn’t really have any bad habits. She’s kind of perfect.
Wait, what exactly are the mechanics when Mikey takes the pups with her into an airplane bathroom? Do Peaches and Birdie both join her? (Remember, Jam doesn’t get traveling privileges.) If so, does Mikey hold them or put them somewhere in that cesspool?? Neither the floor nor the sink are good options! How does this work, Mikey?! Sanitary questions aside, this whole thing is adorable (adogable?). If I had one thing to nitpick (and of course I do!), I kinda wish they’d address the questions directly to the dogs, with the celebrity person answering in the voice of their pooch. They could make it a play on Vanity Fair’s “Proust Questionnaire” and call it the Pooch Questionnaire! (Why do I give these gems away for free…)
Anyway, I doff my tiny knit hat to Mikey for being a mom to three; I’ve only ever been a one–rescue-at-a-time mom who forms an all-encompassing codependent ride or die bond with my special floof. And speaking of, my current floof My Guy is a long-haired Chihuahua like Peaches! And I’m totally entering My Guy in next year’s Dogue Competition, wherein non celebri-dogs get to vie for their own covers. This was the contest’s first year and they got over 56,000 submissions! But My Guy is a dashing dandy, and here’s the feature that I think will really distinguish him from the pack: most of his hair is wavy, but he has these two patches that are full on curls. It’s like he got a perm to frame his face, and it’s friggin’ irresistible.
photos credit Backgrid, Getty and via Instagram/Vogue
I need pics of My Guy!
Brilliant idea re the Pooch Questionnaire. I’m just learning about the August Dogue events through this site, so I’ll have to work on my applications for Fiona and Archie (my Cavvies) for next year. Archie, like My Guy, has unreal curls all over his ears. Female humans constantly observe that we used to pay big money for those.
So adorable!
I had a long haired Chihuahua for a few months. My daughter and I found her on the street and after establishing she was a stray we decided to add a third dog to our mix. Unfortunately the other two never warmed to her and she wanted my constant attention, so my vet found her another home where she could be the Only Dog. She also loved to snuggle under the covers with me. She would just crawl in there and attach herself my leg all night. The other two were not pleased with this, lol.
We need puppy pictures, Kismet!