We’re coming up on a fraught one-year anniversary. Well yes, that. But also the daytime talk show equivalent of mercury in retrograde: Martha Stewart appearing on Drew Barrymore’s show. Martha was seemingly everywhere for a minute last winter, busy promoting her Netflix documentary and her 100th cookbook, plus spreading holiday shade to her ex-husband, Ryan Reynolds, The Golden Bachelorette, Ina Garten, and a NY Post columnist. (I’m sure I’m leaving people out, my apologies.) So Martha’s promo duties landed her on Drew’s show, where the host proceeded to ask the hard-hitting journalistic question, “What makes you soft and gooey?” Martha somewhat stiffly replied, “treatment,” at which point Drew caved to her infamous baser instinct of petting her guest. Turns out that’s not something that makes Martha soft and gooey. Martha made an exaggerated gesture of shoving Drew off of her, and a meme was born. Well, Martha just returned to the show and clarified that she doesn’t like being petted … long pause … on television.
“People thought that we had beef — or that you had beef with me over that — and I didn’t get it,” Barrymore told Stewart. “I was so surprised.”
“Oh, I just don’t like to be petted on television,” Stewart replied, to which Barrymore said, “Understood, Martha. I won’t pet you again.”
Stewart also admitted that she watches the daytime talk show, and noted that Barrymore pets “a lot of people.”
“She’s a very cozy girl, don’t you think?” the lifestyle mogul quipped to the audience. “I’m not so cozy.”
Acknowledging her tendency toward physical touch, Barrymore joked that “it’s certainly not putting anyone off or turning them away because we’re all on the Martha Stewart feeder!”
“It’s true,” the actress added. “And I think you’ve given people a lot of confidence in life through maintaining being true to yourself. That’s been a very guiding light for us.”
…The 50 First Dates alum later cleared the air during a segment of Watch What Happens Live in February.
“I think she was just teasing,” she said of Stewart. “I’ve never been able to say this before with confidence, but I can now — I think Martha really does like me.”
Barrymore explained that she felt like the “internet just misunderstood the moment and ran with it,” but insisted there was no tension between them.
The mom of two also admitted that [she] “can’t actually control” her tendency to get close to her guests when they join her on the couch, despite the fact that she’s been warned about it.
“I got focus-grouped when we launched and it was not good. It was awful,” she revealed.
Can it be that we’ve reached a point where Drew Barrymore is a more polarizing figure than Martha Stewart? Judging from the comments when we write about both ladies, I think ‘tis so. The invading personal space and over-touching thing is a really divisive issue, and I gotta say, I’m not buying Drew’s argument that she “can’t actually control” her behavior. She could if she wanted to; she’s a grown woman and it’s not like it’s a medical condition that forces her to reach out and pet those in close proximity. For pete’s sake, she could think of it as an acting exercise and play the role of someone who keeps her hands to herself! I found the comment at the end especially revealing, that a focus group identified this problem early on. Again, Drew could’ve been working on curbing the habit for years.
Mini-vent aside, I genuinely don’t think Martha has any problem with Drew whatsoever. I mean, she definitely doesn’t want to be petted! (On television.) But I really think Martha was just playing up the tension for a good TV moment. As for the rest of the episode, it was glorious. I’d forgotten that in the immediate aftermath of Taylor Swift announcing her engagement on Instagram, Martha made the moment about her and pitched herself for wedding planner. So Drew teed her up and Martha ever so humbly said she wasn’t a wedding planner but she IS a wedding expert. Love it. Then later Drew showed off her personal copy of Martha’s first book, Entertaining, cuing up Martha’s announcement that they were releasing a “facsimile” edition. Then in full snooty school teacher mode Martha turned to the audience and said, “Do you all know what a ‘facsimile’ is?” (Answer: an exact copy of the original 1982 edition.) Vocabulary, it’s a good thing.
photos credit Getty, screenshots from YouTube and via Instagram
I’m with Martha — who looked at the producers directly like “get her OFF me” — of course, I could never go on Reese’s show because I hate her kind of fakey performative nonsense.
Happy to say I was ahead of the curve. I’ve loved Martha since the 90s and could never stand Drew Barrymore. The early aughts where she was everywhere and in everything were so annoying.
I used to like Drew Barrymore now I find her in sufferable.
Can you imagine if a man said he “can’t control” touching people?
She is ridiculous.
I remember reading an excellent biography of Judy Garland. She had a one season show on television that was cancelled partly because executives thought she was too physically touchy feely with guests. Of course that was the 60s but my mom said she remembers it was a pretty good show.
I also don’t like being petted or reached for in public. I would be spraying her down with sanitizing spray to get my point across if she tried that with me. But I’d also tell her first off, I know you like to touch people. Don’t touch me.
Consent goes for everything, Drew. The “you can’t control yourself” argument is gross and you really need to find a way to knock it off with touching people.
I think it should be common courtesy to not touch people without their consent.
It is.
People should go on that show with a spray bottle, so they can spray Drew like a cat if she comes at them!
Spraying cats with water is not a good idea, because they don’t understand why you are doing it and just think you’re a jerk. Might be effective for Drew tho.
We have to have the spray bottle at the ready overnight as our Mr.Irrepressable attacks feet in the middle of the night and it’s either that or a pillow to his face.
Maybe Drew it’s time for Drew to consider separate chairs.
I wonder if the show’s producers have a consent form for guests now. “Can Drew pet you during your interview?” They should.
I think being corrected in social etiquette by Martha Stewart, on national television, on your own show, will serve as a deterrent.
We’ll see this behavior curbed going forward.
Trust me, Drew took note, as did her producers.
Ugh! Both of these ladies are insufferable.
I like Drew but I would also not like to be touched liked, at all. I don’t even like it when my relatives touch me randomly. Maybe I have sensory issues but the point is, keep your hands to yourself.
I can’t stand huggy-touchy-feely people of either sex. Mr. Jaded had a male friend who did that to me ALL.THE.TIME. I finally asked Mr. J to tell him to knock it off, it was becoming offensive. I’m pretty busty, I think he was just copping a feel. He did it right after I’d had a lumpectomy for breast cancer and it HURT!
Ugh ugh ugh. It would be hard to resist the urge to knee that guy in the groin.
No one hugs me for long once they sense my rigor mortis-level cringe.